What about STDs?
To the people telling her to ignore his cheating?

siofra:
Hmm.

See how those useless nairaland men are trying to justify your husband's infidelity. One is even saying if you're an "experienced woman" you wouldn't talk like that

The hypocrisy of these nairaland men is laughable.

When a man cheats, she should endure and have a dialogue but when a woman cheats she should be stoned to death.

You people cry about declining morality in the society everyday, but you're the ones pushing the decline of society because you don't want to take responsibility for your evil actions like cheating, paedophilia, fornication, adultery etc.

You will continue to wail about women till you die in your misery and wickedness. Mumu people!

you should not call someone useless just because you want to make a point.. please be guided.

Berankis:

The reason is because 99.99% of them have a mentality of being taken care of. And they have different expectations of this. So where a man doesn't buy them a new car, personal house, always change their wardrobe, give them money endlessly. They feel they are really suffering with you, even though, they are provided with basic needs.

Apt.....
Straight to the point..

MrsTwrite:
This is who you will live with for the rest of your life, I believe you saw these signs earlier but choose to ignore it.

On the other hand he's just flirting according to your story but hasn't slept with any one of them, him eye still dey up.

You're indeed a strong woman. You don't deserve those treatment. Follow your heart ma'am.

her heart will take her to places she will regret

Which sane man crushes on his sister in-law? Your husband is a flirt. Didn't you notice this trait on him before marriage? Warn your sister about him and also warn your husband too.

PaigeTaylor:

I'm not perfect either. Never said I was. And that was my past life, something I wanted a solution to because I want to forget it, that's why I brought it to nairaland. Didn't you see where I said I didn't want a broken home? It's my past, Why bring it up?

If you do not want a broken home and yet you keep your husband at arms length? That’s the first step to bigger issues and a breakup. No sex, no joy, no peace in the house, you are gone. By the way, never look into a man’s phone if you want peace in your marriage.

Anyway, I think that you picked this story from somewhere.

advanceDNA:
She said she suffered with him...

Why do Women always think they are doing u are favour by marrying you and staying married to you ......
Saying they suffered when they technically can't pay their bills all alone .....and with you, probably eating free food, living rent & bills free, and never had a dangote or otedela option that wanted to marry them...

As in... I don't get it.... .. them too dey proud over nothing

yes now, they proud over nothing because they are absolutely nothing without a man.. it's a fact

PaigeTaylor:

I'm not perfect either. Never said I was. And that was my past life, something I wanted a solution to because I want to forget it, that's why I brought it to nairaland. Didn't you see where I said I didn't want a broken home? It's my past, Why bring it up?

Shut up and grow up !

stop this takes by moonlight stories.

Only jobless and unserious people takes you serious on this forum.

PaigeTaylor:
I'm not perfect either. Never said I was. And that was my past life, something I wanted a solution to because I want to forget it, that's why I brought it to nairaland. Didn't you see where I said I didn't want a broken home? It's my past, Why bring it up?

it was good he/she brought it up because for those of us who only follow front page, we would have passed a judgement that is unfit for your case. as a matter of fact, i havent read your other post but already i think guilty conscience dey worry you and you're been so self centered to be hating your husband... you should have just tell him you saw this and that which is why he doesn't want to give you his phone in the first place. he gave you now you're misbehaving.. just beg him and tell him not to kill you because it will kill you if he ever cheats on you... simple.. not letting him touch you will give him more reason to do it faster and confidently. give him new styles, ask him what he wants you to do so that no woman will deceive him with it... carry your cross o...

PaigeTaylor:
Hello house. I'm too angry to type. Been married for 10 years with a kid. 10 long hard years.

He always assures me and portrays himself as a faithful man. I have never suspected him of committing adultery, not because he's not capable, but because I wanted to give him benefit of doubt. I wanted trust to be in my marriage because I'm extremely faithful to him. He disvirgined me on my wedding night.

But he does A LOT of flirting on social media. Passwords his phone from me. This has caused a lot of problems between us, almost leading to marriage break up many times, until people advised me to stay off his phone, which I did. I lost my job since February and have been unable to get another one.

Now I'm learning some soft skills online, using my phone but it got to a point where I couldn't proceed because it's an old phone. I told him yesterday morning that I would love to use his phone, he said ok when he returned from work.

Only for me to go to his browser to enter a website address, I started seeing past searches from him.
LOVE SMS YOU CAN SEND TO UR CRUSH
LOVE MESSAGES YOU CAN SEND TO UR EX GIRLFRIEND.

The one that shook me to the bone is, HOW TO SEDUCE MY SISTER INLAW.

She came to visit two weeks back. She is very beautiful and plump and he has always told me he had a crush on her. So I know.
And those internet searches are RECENT.

I feel so disgusted by his presence now, so much that I don't allow his body to touch mine on bed. I feel for my daughter, she's just 6 years and I don't have any money to take care of her. He doesn't take care of me either, but I have put up with him, I have struggled and suffered with him all these years. Only to see this on his phone. I'm beyond depressed.

He's talking of us celebrating our 10 years anniversary by December and thinking of inviting few family and friends. BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED. The love is dead. I've been played all along.

HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?

Carry your cross. MARRIAGE is all about forgiving. Let him know that you aware, discuss it and move on. You will worsen the situation if you don't allow him to touch you. Two wrongs doesn't make a right

Towma:
What about STDs?
To the people telling her to ignore his cheating?

She is just seeking attention go through her previous post...

siofra:
Hmm.

See how those useless nairaland men are trying to justify your husband's infidelity. One is even saying if you're an "experienced woman" you wouldn't talk like that

The hypocrisy of these nairaland men is laughable.

When a man cheats, she should endure and have a dialogue but when a woman cheats she should be stoned to death.

You people cry about declining morality in the society everyday, but you're the ones pushing the decline of society because you don't want to take responsibility for your evil actions like cheating, paedophilia, fornication, adultery etc.

You will continue to wail about women till you die in your misery and wickedness. Mumu people!

Then let her leave the marriage. !

What if na other woman wey dey also answer your sister's name. Atleast it wouldn't be as painful if you did the right thing

PaigeTaylor:
Hello house. I'm too angry to type. Been married for 10 years with a kid. 10 long hard years.

He always assures me and portrays himself as a faithful man. I have never suspected him of committing adultery, not because he's not capable, but because I wanted to give him benefit of doubt. I wanted trust to be in my marriage because I'm extremely faithful to him. He disvirgined me on my wedding night.

But he does A LOT of flirting on social media. Passwords his phone from me. This has caused a lot of problems between us, almost leading to marriage break up many times, until people advised me to stay off his phone, which I did. I lost my job since February and have been unable to get another one.

Now I'm learning some soft skills online, using my phone but it got to a point where I couldn't proceed because it's an old phone. I told him yesterday morning that I would love to use his phone, he said ok when he returned from work.

Only for me to go to his browser to enter a website address, I started seeing past searches from him.
LOVE SMS YOU CAN SEND TO UR CRUSH LOVE MESSAGES YOU CAN SEND TO UR EX GIRLFRIEND.

The one that shook me to the bone is, HOW TO SEDUCE MY SISTER INLAW.

She came to visit two weeks back. She is very beautiful and plump and he has always told me he had a crush on her. So I know.
And those internet searches are RECENT.

I feel so disgusted by his presence now, so much that I don't allow his body to touch mine on bed. I feel for my daughter, she's just 6 years and I don't have any money to take care of her. He doesn't take care of me either, but I have put up with him, I have struggled and suffered with him all these years. Only to see this on his phone. I'm beyond depressed.

He's talking of us celebrating our 10 years anniversary by December and thinking of inviting few family and friends. BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED. The love is dead. I've been played all along.

HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?

Whoa!

PaigeTaylor:
Hello house. I'm too angry to type. Been married for 10 years with a kid. 10 long hard years.

He always assures me and portrays himself as a faithful man. I have never suspected him of committing adultery, not because he's not capable, but because I wanted to give him benefit of doubt. I wanted trust to be in my marriage because I'm extremely faithful to him. He disvirgined me on my wedding night.

But he does A LOT of flirting on social media. Passwords his phone from me. This has caused a lot of problems between us, almost leading to marriage break up many times, until people advised me to stay off his phone, which I did. I lost my job since February and have been unable to get another one.

Now I'm learning some soft skills online, using my phone but it got to a point where I couldn't proceed because it's an old phone. I told him yesterday morning that I would love to use his phone, he said ok when he returned from work.

Only for me to go to his browser to enter a website address, I started seeing past searches from him.
LOVE SMS YOU CAN SEND TO UR CRUSH
LOVE MESSAGES YOU CAN SEND TO UR EX GIRLFRIEND.

The one that shook me to the bone is, HOW TO SEDUCE MY SISTER INLAW.

She came to visit two weeks back. She is very beautiful and plump and he has always told me he had a crush on her. So I know.
And those internet searches are RECENT.

I feel so disgusted by his presence now, so much that I don't allow his body to touch mine on bed. I feel for my daughter, she's just 6 years and I don't have any money to take care of her. He doesn't take care of me either, but I have put up with him, I have struggled and suffered with him all these years. Only to see this on his phone. I'm beyond depressed.

He's talking of us celebrating our 10 years anniversary by December and thinking of inviting few family and friends. BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED. The love is dead. I've been played all along.

HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?

so the fact that he admired your sister inlaw now is a big deal abi.

Mryacks:
Oh wow! Seems your hubby has a lot of "fantasies and "fetish" feelings he wants to explore. You are absolutely right to feel angry and disappointed seeing some of those things he has going on in his head while you play the loving loyal wife. But take a deep breath and calm down first okay. I think you should let him know you have seen those information and confront him about it. You guys are a couple so talk about it

His type of response will be really important for you to guage his level of deprevity. Maybe he is just playing with ideas but not acting on it, or he is neck deep in those kind of activities....anyway you see it, those are big temptation traps and embarrassing wrong moral antecedents by him.

Well said.

yrhuhfy113:
PLEASE PEOPLE BE WISE AND GO THROUGH THE PREVIOUS POSTS OF THIS PERSON BEFORE COMMENTING

If your previous posts are anything to go by......... YOU TOO ARE NOT FAITHFUL.... so why hating on him. YOU HAVE BEEN CHATTING WITH MARRIED MAN YOU WERE ONCE WITH.

See, there is something wrong with you. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MARRIAGE...... you didnt seek wisdom at the beginning.

if your STORY IS TRUE..... then find a counselor offline and meet any wise person whom your husband respects and confess to your husband your FLIRTING chats and your misdeeds.


YOU BOTH NEED HEALING

Oh wow!... Lol.

Your man is not doing well for flirting. He is just a step away from committing adultery.

However, it appears he is deprived sexually, and you lack sexual feelings for him. Most men are sensitive when such feeling is lacking in a relationship. That may be the root cause of the problem. You have a lot to do. Start with yourself. Prayerfully remove unclean sexual thoughts and fantasies from within you.

I strongly believe you wouldn't like your husband to know about your covetousness and readiness to open your legs for another man, given your previous post.

Very importantly, respectfully bring your husband's issues before him, and tell him how bad, disappointed and betrayed you feel. If he is remorseful and promise to retress, forgive him. No marriage is trouble-free, even if it were to be made in heaven. Good communication helps a lot - talk as often as you can and about anything possibly.

Both of you have to be Godly and have respect for each other by your utterances and actions.

Again, calmly and respectfully present the matter before him. It's a very simple matter. It's at the stage where it can be nipped at the bud. DO IT NOW!

Your man is not doing well for flirting. He is just a step away from committing adultery.

However, it appears he is deprived sexually, and you lack sexual feelings for him. Most men are sensitive when such feeling is lacking in a relationship. That may be the root cause of the problem. You have a lot to do. Start with yourself. Prayerfully remove unclean sexual thoughts and fantasies from within you.

I strongly believe you wouldn't like your husband to know about your covetousness and readiness to open your legs for another man, given your previous post.

Very importantly, respectfully bring your husband's issues before him, and tell him how bad, disappointed and betrayed you feel. If he is remorseful and promise to turn around, forgive him. No marriage is trouble-free, even if it were to be made in heaven. Good communication helps a lot - talk as often as you can and about anything possibly.

Both of you have to be Godly and have respect for each other by your utterances and actions.

Again, calmly and respectfully present the matter before him. It's a very simple matter. It's at the stage where it can be nipped at the bud. DO IT NOW!

Why not communicate your suspension to him to see if there will be some changes.
And if he continues, plan your exit by saving money, then move when you are empowered or save enough to help yourself.
It's better to be single with a child than stay in a toxic marriage to raise damage children.
Be wise.

Read “A Billion wicked thoughts”, a scientific research into human sexuality based on billions of google searches by men and women.

The insight it provides would likely give you peace.

PaigeTaylor:
Hello house. I'm too angry to type. Been married for 10 years with a kid. 10 long hard years.

He always assures me and portrays himself as a faithful man. I have never suspected him of committing adultery, not because he's not capable, but because I wanted to give him benefit of doubt. I wanted trust to be in my marriage because I'm extremely faithful to him. He disvirgined me on my wedding night.

But he does A LOT of flirting on social media. Passwords his phone from me. This has caused a lot of problems between us, almost leading to marriage break up many times, until people advised me to stay off his phone, which I did. I lost my job since February and have been unable to get another one.

Now I'm learning some soft skills online, using my phone but it got to a point where I couldn't proceed because it's an old phone. I told him yesterday morning that I would love to use his phone, he said ok when he returned from work.

Only for me to go to his browser to enter a website address, I started seeing past searches from him.
LOVE SMS YOU CAN SEND TO UR CRUSH
LOVE MESSAGES YOU CAN SEND TO UR EX GIRLFRIEND.

The one that shook me to the bone is, HOW TO SEDUCE MY SISTER INLAW.

She came to visit two weeks back. She is very beautiful and plump and he has always told me he had a crush on her. So I know.
And those internet searches are RECENT.

I feel so disgusted by his presence now, so much that I don't allow his body to touch mine on bed. I feel for my daughter, she's just 6 years and I don't have any money to take care of her. He doesn't take care of me either, but I have put up with him, I have struggled and suffered with him all these years. Only to see this on his phone. I'm beyond depressed.

He's talking of us celebrating our 10 years anniversary by December and thinking of inviting few family and friends. BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED. The love is dead. I've been played all along.

HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?

Ma'am, I feel your pain. Obviously the dude didn't clear his browsing history. Maybe God wants him to change, reason for your discovery. Try to talk to him about your findings. Make sure you have evidence (screenshots) to back your claim in case he wants to deny it. But I'd really love things to work between you both.

It's natural to feel the way you do bc you love this man so much, and according to you, he disvirgined you. Listen to me. Return your love to your husband. There's no perfect man under the sun. Men are naturally promiscuous and that's a fact. Again you didn't say you caught him pants down. There is no perfect marriage. Nobody will tell you what she is enduring in her marriage. You won't understand until you are out.

PaigeTaylor:
I'm not perfect either. Never said I was. And that was my past life, something I wanted a solution to because I want to forget it, that's why I brought it to nairaland. Didn't you see where I said I didn't want a broken home? It's my past, Why bring it up?

Good day, a simple and wise advice to you: it's not everything that must be discussed in the public, it could have been better visiting a counselor with issue like this.

You told us that your husband disvirgined you and that you have been faithful to him; when exactly did you cheat on him to warrant people calling you out about your past and your defense with the line " I'm not perfect, it was my past"?

MrsTwrite:
This is who you will live with for the rest of your life, I believe you saw these signs earlier but choose to ignore it.

On the other hand he's just flirting according to your story but hasn't slept with any one of them, him eye still dey up.

You're indeed a strong woman. You don't deserve those treatment. Follow your heart ma'am.

na small dance dey enter moonwalk. Some men can't keep their third leg in check.....when I become a family man, flirting will be the least of my pleasure. Hole na hole,breast na breast, buttocks na buttocks.

First of all, To Err is human to forgive his Divine.
I know you have the total right to hate your husband for such act. but you should have it in mind when expecting the best, prepare for the worst.
He is still your husband and I strongly believed You Loved him and you will still love him.
Just matter of time.
Pls don't take irrational action.
Almighty God will heal your pains.

Madam if flirting is his only problem then you don't have a problem. If you doubt me, divorce him and remarry then you'll see that he's just a novice in this game . Even my grandfather married 3 wives, 2 of them where siblings.

Your case is a typical woman who found what she was desperately looking for. You better find a way to make your marriage work. I pity you if you leave your marriage. That your sister will become his wife.
Almost all men will flirt and/or cheat at least ones in marriage… that is why mandatory monogamy is the biggest lie oyinbos sold to us. Learn to manage your man and pray for him. Hopefully he will repent or he won’t bring a deadly disease , std or sti to you.
Sadly, you can’t flirt or cheat on him in retaliation, because if you are caught you will still be the one to regret it…. It is unfair, but that’s the reality.
From your earlier snooping on his phone, you likely nagged him into other women’s harms.
I read you as a woman who thinks marrying as a virgin (which is extremely valuable and desirable to men) absolves you from good character in marriage. I can bet you were not his peace of mind because of your nagging, snooping and fighting him.
Learn how to be a good wife by being his peace of mind and watch him fall back helplessly in love with you. As a wife, you must be homely, respectful, loyal, submissive, and supportive, virginity and fertility is also good, but it doesn’t cancel the other qualities.
Men will just use and dump you if you leave your marriage… especially if you carry bad wife characteristics along too.
I also don’t believe you that he is a deadbeat husband. It is typical of a scornful wife to demonize her husband.

PaigeTaylor:
Hello house. I'm too angry to type. Been married for 10 years with a kid. 10 long hard years.

He always assures me and portrays himself as a faithful man. I have never suspected him of committing adultery, not because he's not capable, but because I wanted to give him benefit of doubt. I wanted trust to be in my marriage because I'm extremely faithful to him. He disvirgined me on my wedding night.

But he does A LOT of flirting on social media. Passwords his phone from me. This has caused a lot of problems between us, almost leading to marriage break up many times, until people advised me to stay off his phone, which I did. I lost my job since February and have been unable to get another one.

Now I'm learning some soft skills online, using my phone but it got to a point where I couldn't proceed because it's an old phone. I told him yesterday morning that I would love to use his phone, he said ok when he returned from work.

Only for me to go to his browser to enter a website address, I started seeing past searches from him.
LOVE SMS YOU CAN SEND TO UR CRUSH
LOVE MESSAGES YOU CAN SEND TO UR EX GIRLFRIEND.

The one that shook me to the bone is, HOW TO SEDUCE MY SISTER INLAW.

She came to visit two weeks back. She is very beautiful and plump and he has always told me he had a crush on her. So I know.
And those internet searches are RECENT.

I feel so disgusted by his presence now, so much that I don't allow his body to touch mine on bed. I feel for my daughter, she's just 6 years and I don't have any money to take care of her. He doesn't take care of me either, but I have put up with him, I have struggled and suffered with him all these years. Only to see this on his phone. I'm beyond depressed.

He's talking of us celebrating our 10 years anniversary by December and thinking of inviting few family and friends. BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED. The love is dead. I've been played all along.

HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?

PaigeTaylor:
Hello house. I'm too angry to type. Been married for 10 years with a kid. 10 long hard years.

He always assures me and portrays himself as a faithful man. I have never suspected him of committing adultery, not because he's not capable, but because I wanted to give him benefit of doubt. I wanted trust to be in my marriage because I'm extremely faithful to him. He disvirgined me on my wedding night.

But he does A LOT of flirting on social media. Passwords his phone from me. This has caused a lot of problems between us, almost leading to marriage break up many times, until people advised me to stay off his phone, which I did. I lost my job since February and have been unable to get another one.

Now I'm learning some soft skills online, using my phone but it got to a point where I couldn't proceed because it's an old phone. I told him yesterday morning that I would love to use his phone, he said ok when he returned from work.

Only for me to go to his browser to enter a website address, I started seeing past searches from him.
LOVE SMS YOU CAN SEND TO UR CRUSH
LOVE MESSAGES YOU CAN SEND TO UR EX GIRLFRIEND.

The one that shook me to the bone is, HOW TO SEDUCE MY SISTER INLAW.

She came to visit two weeks back. She is very beautiful and plump and he has always told me he had a crush on her. So I know.
And those internet searches are RECENT.

I feel so disgusted by his presence now, so much that I don't allow his body to touch mine on bed. I feel for my daughter, she's just 6 years and I don't have any money to take care of her. He doesn't take care of me either, but I have put up with him, I have struggled and suffered with him all these years. Only to see this on his phone. I'm beyond depressed.

He's talking of us celebrating our 10 years anniversary by December and thinking of inviting few family and friends. BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED. The love is dead. I've been played all along.

HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?

My opinion: call him for a meeting, open your heart to him just as you are opening it to us now.

Start going to a Bible believing church where you can get sound biblical words and counsel.

Listen to your spirit if you know you are on the Lord's side. God will speak to you.

Pray for him, counsel him, show him unconditional love, go to the internet to learn how to "seduce your husband the Christian way" Do all these and thank me later!

Leave the marriage

PaigeTaylor:
Hello house. I'm too angry to type. Been married for 10 years with a kid. 10 long hard years.

He always assures me and portrays himself as a faithful man. I have never suspected him of committing adultery, not because he's not capable, but because I wanted to give him benefit of doubt. I wanted trust to be in my marriage because I'm extremely faithful to him. He disvirgined me on my wedding night.

But he does A LOT of flirting on social media. Passwords his phone from me. This has caused a lot of problems between us, almost leading to marriage break up many times, until people advised me to stay off his phone, which I did. I lost my job since February and have been unable to get another one.

Now I'm learning some soft skills online, using my phone but it got to a point where I couldn't proceed because it's an old phone. I told him yesterday morning that I would love to use his phone, he said ok when he returned from work.

Only for me to go to his browser to enter a website address, I started seeing past searches from him.
LOVE SMS YOU CAN SEND TO UR CRUSH
LOVE MESSAGES YOU CAN SEND TO UR EX GIRLFRIEND.

The one that shook me to the bone is, HOW TO SEDUCE MY SISTER INLAW.

She came to visit two weeks back. She is very beautiful and plump and he has always told me he had a crush on her. So I know.
And those internet searches are RECENT.

I feel so disgusted by his presence now, so much that I don't allow his body to touch mine on bed. I feel for my daughter, she's just 6 years and I don't have any money to take care of her. He doesn't take care of me either, but I have put up with him, I have struggled and suffered with him all these years. Only to see this on his phone. I'm beyond depressed.

He's talking of us celebrating our 10 years anniversary by December and thinking of inviting few family and friends. BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED. The love is dead. I've been played all along.

HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?

Why it hurt you must is because he married you a virgin

A man will cheat if it's in him to cheat and he will cheat without remores because they see it as game and nothing else

If he like let him celebrate 10yrs anniversary, make sure he gets the best of dresses for you and your family

Look good that day and move on

The problem now is that you have lost interest in loving him

Just bear with it till you are convinced that a man will cheat if he wants to cheat

You married a man-ho and he's not going to change. You must've seen the signs before marriage.

PaigeTaylor don't rush and make mistake. he even remember his wedding anniversary, he still believe in the marriage. what you should be doing now is how to make the marriage work. don't you think if you are the one committing all this, what would happen ? confront him . I wish you all the best.