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|Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by CaveAdullam: 9:20am On Oct 27, 2023
Many good people stop being good, not become bad per se, just neutral or limited to their enclaves because they've been betrayed or underappreciated in the past.
Being good isn't enough, one must have a knack for human behaviors.
Being a good person brings openness which leads to exposure & which leads to different experiences.
The giver/good person is always greater than the receiver/bad person.
Because the former dwells in light & can see; the latter is always restricted in the dark.
Giving takes a lot of effort and sacrifices.
There's always a loss from the side of the giver and intended hurt if not channeled to the right person or the right cause.
But this doesn't make the receiver better. Giving leads to interaction, interaction makes you know better.
Kindness enables understanding of human behavior and knowledge about different terrains, hence, giving must be strategic in order not to miss important lessons or fall into the hands of sycophants or parasites.
Tactical giving is also a form of power: the giver is independent of the receiver. Which means that the receiver is under the control of the giver.
Giving creates sovereignty; receiving creates dependence and entitlement.
The one who gives more has more and has proximity to power. With power, he has the affairs of many men under his control and dictates.
That's why men will always be on top. Because compared to women and children, men give and sacrifice more.
Giving whether as a form of charity or power claim buys loyalty.
Receivers are loyal and they will do the bidding of the man who gives.
Hence, even though the rich/wealthy man is corrupt, he still has shills who will fight on his side - he bought their fealty a long time ago.
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|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by PoliteActivist: 9:30am On Oct 27, 2023
The flaw in your thesis is that you fail to take into account that much of human behavior (giving included) is motivated by fear (sometimes quite camouflaged fear but still fear nonetheless)
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by Carcholce: 9:48am On Oct 27, 2023
Did you mean fear of losing grip on the receiver?
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by PoliteActivist: 10:07am On Oct 27, 2023
Nope. Fear as in, if I don't give him he might do something TO me, or NOT do something FOR me, or not like me, or dis-repute me in some way. Examples, if you don't give to the church you won't go to heaven, if you don't give to your wife she'd tell people, if you don't give in an event people will think you're broke, if you don't give a person he may no longer like you, you give to a powerful person to be in their good graces (though it is camouflaged as love), you give to a bully so he won't face you, you give to your family so people won't talk, etc. There are a thousand examples, all camouflaged as altruism, love, and generosity when it is actually self-interest and fear
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by Carcholce: 10:12am On Oct 27, 2023
Well said. You are highly intelligent!
It also does explain losing grip on the receiver when each points is broken down.
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by CaveAdullam: 10:14am On Oct 27, 2023
Fear isn't the basis of human behavior. Survival and longevity are.
That's why there are tonnes of innovations, inventions, and discoveries. To make life easier and better.
Of course, they experience threat along the way, and threat creates fear. These fears are leveraged by coming up with the latest development. Fear can't be ruled out of the equation, however.
Your account of giving motivated by fear lies on this fact: "If I don't give, they may hurt me".
Hence the OP made mention of "tactical giving" which is aimed at buying loyalty.
The fear you mention is still accounted for when a man is interested in gaining power and control or not being seen as an ev!l person and getting attacked which necessitates works of charity as already discussed by the OP.
Since he's afraid of losing the attention of the people which may drive them to other opponents, he is required to give to stay relevant and announced by the mouths of those he has fed. If he doesn't want to be accused of being dominant, he does acts of charity.
On a leveled surface, humans are altruistic. There's first love for kin which extends to those genetically far off. Fear isn't the basis of this altruism. But for the greater good and survival of the human species. Although, in rough and tough times, humans show their cruel side.
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by Carcholce: 10:21am On Oct 27, 2023
Survival and longevity equals fear. Fear of cold weather is why sweater was invented. That’s survival.
Fear of wild animals is why hunting objects were invented.
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by PoliteActivist: 10:32am On Oct 27, 2023
Thanks. Rather obvious though
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by PoliteActivist: 10:34am On Oct 27, 2023
When I read that I was surprised he couldn't see it
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by Reminderz: 10:44am On Oct 27, 2023
another brilliant post... and those quoting, always read to understand not to attack or reply or trying to prove intelligence.. most of what you guys are saying are all included in the initial post.. you just clarified it further...
sometimes you just have to read, dissect or ignore...
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by PoliteActivist: 10:49am On Oct 27, 2023
Much of giving is motivated either by what the giver may get for giving, or by what he may lose for not giving, or what may happen to him if he doesn't give.
LOVE is a more pleasant motivator, but the truth is that much of human behavior is motivated by FEAR
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by PoliteActivist: 10:53am On Oct 27, 2023
Why not take your own advice - read, dissect, or ignore, instead of wasting a post telling others what to do
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by CJStarz: 11:23am On Oct 27, 2023
Abeg, who go summarize all these giving and taking thread? Hunger don dey turn my eyes sef.
|Re: Am I A Stupid Man For Being Good To Her (photos) by chiiraq802(m): 2:06pm On Oct 27, 2023
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