paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

Tallesty1:
Just 7 months and he proudly calls her My Lady

paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

Mosba:
Obviously you are closer to the end of this relationship than you are to the beginning of it

paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

BrighterSyde:
■ You people need to think about both sides before dropping solutions.
Assume she isn’t cheating. it would then be a good idea to do as you have said. But if you think with both sides of the @&($(& and assume she is cheating do you think she will willingly admit it and ask for forgiveness so they can move on?

234GT:
Check the phone when she is totally asleep.

Don't dull. It makes no sense that you are faithful to a lady and she is playing games

mrblessed:
Be direct and assertive. Tell her to open the damn phone.

Deco7:
Tell her this. Your continous texting and smiling is making you insecure. And you are messing with my head. Just say this and she will do the rest

Reminderz:
Possible things involved...

1. She's not faithful (she's cheating)

2. She's keeping her options open..

3. There are things you don't know about her yet despite being with her for 7 months

4. Women are cunning, if she's smarter than you, catching her red-handed will be difficult..

When a lady is being unnecessarily secretive about her phones, it says a lot... Don't accuse her, still act naive, but keep an open mind that the relationship might end and not lead to the marriage that you expected and it might be for the best... Do not let emotions override your thinking ability... See things as it as not as you want them to be.. don't worry, she go lose guard one day and you go catch her, she might be erasing evidences for now so it would be quite hard.. asking her who she's chatting with will raise her defenses up and will make her change tactic... Just prepare your mind for anything, so if e later sup, e nor go pain you... And I hope you're not the only one investing in the relationship because if she later give you breakfast, na you the thing go pain pass...

paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

Oyindidi:
Hello insecurity!

profsomebody:
Some of you women are funny. First you do things that raise suspicion then blame your partner for being insecure? And this trick favours only you because if you have any suspicions, you guys can easily voice them out (even if you're wrong) without issues. A girl can casually ask her bf "why are you smiling at your phone" and nobody will see it as a big deal, even though that's an insult to a faithful guy. But as a guy, you need to catch her red-handed lest she calls you insecure or plays the victim with "you're accusing me of cheating", even if she's a hoe truly. This is why guys keep quiet and end up raising another man's children, even when they see a lot of red flags that their woman is unfaithful, but they know that without being caught red-handed, it's difficult. We all saw how a man who suspected the paternity of his child did a FNA test which confirmed that the child was indeed not his. What did the estranged wife say about it? "He was being insecure." This is someone who was literally exposed as a cheat by DNA o.

Kobojunkie:
Stop this nonsense reasoning abeg!

Communicating with your partner isn't in order that they admit a fault. Rather it is to help you realize earlier on when things are changing in your relationship. According to OP, everything was fine in the relationship up until he returned from his trip. If she has indeed been cheating on him then that clearly couldn't have been the case.

Op needs to communicate his fears and troubles to his partner to at least relieve his mind of his anxieties. If his partner responds with lies then OP can at least use that to appease himself when he eventually cuts off from her after discovering it.
Effective Communication in relationship is there to help sure you against regret and bitterness even after a relationship abeg.

BrighterSyde:
■ Communication? At this point? So that if he finds out she’s lying later he will cut it off? And when will that later be? After he has married her?
■ So you can’t reason that if he communicates with her he has given her a chance to cover her tracks better? How a grown man can reason like this baffles me. You need to wake up. All he needs to do is pretend like all is well and seek evidence. Communicate my foot. That’s how a girl will be cheating on you and you will sit her down to talk about it. I pity you.

When communication is effective, it leaves all parties involved satisfied and feeling accomplished. By delivering messages clearly, there is no room for misunderstanding or alteration of messages, which decreases the potential for conflict. In situations where conflict does arise, effective communication is a key factor to ensure that the situation is resolved in a respectful manner. How one communicates can be a make-or-break factor in securing a job, maintaining a healthy relationship, and healthy self-expression. Benefits of Communication

it’s not on purpose, and this is not one of their shit test. it’s obvious she’s very much into the person she is texting, that’s why she get carried away often. those creatures are not very logical as you think.

kereman1:
She's doing it on purpose, ladies are very smart in covering their tracks,
If she is indeed flirting, you won't even know.

She dey tuant you

Oyindidi:
Hello insecurity!