My husband of 10 years just walked out on me for a week now because he said I'm just relaxing in the house without a job. He left me with my 6 year old daughter with nothing. I had to borrow to feed and take care of her because she fell seriously sick and had to be taken to the health centre.
I'm not the type that sits at home and expect only him to fend for the family, I was actually working and earning ok and have been supporting him for years, until I lost the job. Now because I've not been able to secure another, he left me high and dry. I even told him that the year has ended and it's hard to get job placements now, until next year, besides I'm willing to take up teaching again (which I never wanted to go back into, due to my previous bad experiences teaching in schools and very low pay) just to make sure I contribute to the home, but he's still adamant. He gave me the hint that not until I'm able to secure a job, he's not coming back home.
We're not paying rent, only feeding and my daughter's school fees, which I can truthfully say I have been totally contributing to. Especially in the feeding aspect.
He has been avoiding my calls, but I tried putting a call through to him last night because our child needed earnestly to speak to him, he picked and they spoke.
My question are:
- what he did, was it right?
- when he eventually comes back, how should I handle the issue of his leaving?
Because if I allow it pass or don't handle it appropriately, he will think it's okay to always leave when the going gets tough, and will eventually do worse in future.

MsJackson:
■ My question are:
- what he did, was it right?
- when he eventually comes back, how should I handle the issue of his leaving?
Because if I allow it pass or don't handle it appropriately, he will think it's okay to always leave when the going gets tough, and will eventually do worse in future.

These questions of yours, are they really necessary? Do you need others to tell you whether he was right or wrong in this?

You said you had to borrow money to feed your sick kid, how do you intend to pay it back ASAP without work? I think instead of worrying about what he did, you should focus all of your energy and effort on finding yourself a job or at least improving yourself— maybe through skill acquisition — so when an opportunity does finally show up, you will be more than ready for it. I hope your intention is not to get the money back from the husband when he finally changes his mind.

Kobojunkie:
These questions of yours, are they really necessary? Do you need others to tell you whether he was right or wrong in this?

You said you had to borrow money to feed your sick kid, how do you intend to pay it back ASAP without work? I think instead of worrying about what he did, you should focus all of your energy and effort on finding yourself a job or at least improving yourself— maybe through skill acquisition — so when an opportunity does finally show up, you will be more than ready for it. I hope your intention is not to get the money back from the husband when he finally changes his mind.

no that's not my intention. I asked if what he did was wrong because people usually say I'm always quick to react wrong to certain situations, that's why I'm asking for opinions

I live around Sango Ota, very close to Covenant University. PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME SECURE A JOB AROUND OTA AND IT'S ENVIRONS, I will be most grateful. You would have saved me in more ways than you can imagine.
I studied Chemical Engineering but will work anywhere as long as there's salary at the end of the month. God bless you all.

MsJackson:
no that's not my intention. I asked if what he did was wrong because people usually say I'm always quick to react wrong to certain situations, that's why I'm asking for opinions

Did you guys fight before he decided to walk out on you or something?

Kobojunkie:
Did you guys fight before he decided to walk out on you or something?

Honestly just very little money issues. The matter no reach at all. Very little issue, he just kept saying he can't do it alone, and I told him to be patient, January is almost here. And I said it's his responsibility to financially cater for the home and that I was a helper, which I've never refrained from doing. I didn't know he already planned to leave because by 6pm that next day, when he was supposed to be home after close of work, I called him repeatedly but he didn't respond.

Na cheating things. Man got another woman or whole family somewhere

MsJackson:
■ Honestly just very little money issues. The matter no reach at all. Very little issue, he just kept saying he can't do it alone, and I told him to be patient, January is almost here. And I said it's his responsibility to financially cater for the home and that I was a helper, which I've never refrained from doing. I didn't know he already planned to leave because by 6pm that next day, when he was supposed to be home after close of work, I called him repeatedly but he didn't respond.

Please, begin to search around for work like your very life depends on it. The economy is hard and you don't know what he has planned to do next.

where is he spending the night?my take is he could be seeing another woman and is using your unemployed status as an excuse to go out,no reasonable male friend would camp a married man in his house for that long,the economy of the country is bad ,bad enough to drive people to do crazy things.best is to get a honest response on were he has been all these while,second is to let him explain what lesson that is to serve your child and how that could affect her mental development, Remind him of your wedding oath,if it means anything? you both promise to fix your problems United as a family not seperated,so why would he walk away and what was that supposed to mean to you? question here is how smart are you? instead of teaching,you could learn a skill on how to knit or weave with wool,doing so would earn you lot's of money,i am advising you to learn a skill you could use working from home and 8n comfort of your home,you can sell your products to schools and hospitals have a contract with them to make clothing for new born babies.or you learn how to bake and make a special snack recipe like popcorn or biscuits you need a skill to help pending on when you get a job,tell him you want to learn a skill so you can do something to earn money pending on when you get a job.things are hard but dont give up.

Sirqt5:
If you lost ur job, he can't be a man -step up n provide like he ought to? He's cheating. He's just using silly excuse to leave. Na cheating things. Man got another woman or whole family somewhere

hmmm I just hope not

madscientist88:
where is he spending the night?my take is he could be seeing another woman and is using your unemployed status as an excuse to go out,no reasonable male friend would camp a married man in his house for that long,the economy of the country is bad ,bad enough to drive people to do crazy things.best is to get a honest response on were he has been all these while,second is to let him explain what lesson that is to serve your child and how that could affect her mental development, Remind him of your wedding oath,if it means anything? you both promise to fix your problems United as a family not seperated,so why would he walk away and what was that supposed to mean to you? question here is how smart are you? instead of teaching,you could learn a skill on how to knit or weave with wool,doing so would earn you lot's of money,i am advising you to learn a skill you could use working from home and 8n comfort of your home,you can sell your products to schools and hospitals have a contract with them to make clothing for new born babies.or you learn how to bake and make a special snack recipe like popcorn or biscuits you need a skill to help pending on when you get a job,tell him you want to learn a skill so you can do something to earn money pending on when you get a job.things are hard but dont give up.

Thanks

Op. Sit down go through your contacts solicit for help. Start a business any one you can as far it brings little money. As for your husband have a serious discussion with him what he did was nonsense at this point you should be careful with pregnancy.

Issues everywhere...

Just try to get a job.

Don't make trouble.

Caseless:
Issues everywhere...

Just try to get a job.

Don't make trouble.

job is not easy to come by. If you don't have strong connection in this country hmmm.

madscientist88:
where is he spending the night?my take is he could be seeing another woman and is using your unemployed status as an excuse to go out,no reasonable male friend would camp a married man in his house for that long,the economy of the country is bad ,bad enough to drive people to do crazy things.best is to get a honest response on were he has been all these while,second is to let him explain what lesson that is to serve your child and how that could affect her mental development, Remind him of your wedding oath,if it means anything? you both promise to fix your problems United as a family not seperated,so why would he walk away and what was that supposed to mean to you? question here is how smart are you? instead of teaching,you could learn a skill on how to knit or weave with wool,doing so would earn you lot's of money,i am advising you to learn a skill you could use working from home and 8n comfort of your home,you can sell your products to schools and hospitals have a contract with them to make clothing for new born babies.or you learn how to bake and make a special snack recipe like popcorn or biscuits you need a skill to help pending on when you get a job,tell him you want to learn a skill so you can do something to earn money pending on when you get a job.things are hard but dont give up.

This is pure rubbish and you'll end up creating more problems for this lady with this kind of utterance.

There's a huge financial pressure on lots of Nigerian families at the moment and many lone earners are getting frustrated day by day.

If you're married and living in Nigeria, you should understand.

ChybuzzDD:


This is pure rubbish and you'll end up creating more problems for this lady with this kind of utterance.

There's a huge financial pressure on lots of Nigerian families at the moment and many lone earners are getting frustrated day by day.

If you're married and living in Nigeria, you should understand.

and what's your recommendation.

MsJackson:
My husband of 10 years just walked out on me for a week now because he said I'm just relaxing in the house without a job. He left me with my 6 year old daughter with nothing. I had to borrow to feed and take care of her because she fell seriously sick and had to be taken to the health centre.
I'm not the type that sits at home and expect only him to fend for the family, I was actually working and earning ok and have been supporting him for years, until I lost the job. Now because I've not been able to secure another, he left me high and dry. I even told him that the year has ended and it's hard to get job placements now, until next year, besides I'm willing to take up teaching again (which I never wanted to go back into, due to my previous bad experiences teaching in schools and very low pay) just to make sure I contribute to the home, but he's still adamant. He gave me the hint that not until I'm able to secure a job, he's not coming back home.
We're not paying rent, only feeding and my daughter's school fees, which I can truthfully say I have been totally contributing to. Especially in the feeding aspect.
He has been avoiding my calls, but I tried putting a call through to him last night because our child needed earnestly to speak to him, he picked and they spoke.
My question are:
- what he did, was it right?
- when he eventually comes back, how should I handle the issue of his leaving?
Because if I allow it pass or don't handle it appropriately, he will think it's okay to always leave when the going gets tough, and will eventually do worse in future.

dont beg him anymore. Use that energy and get a job. You can volunteer to clean or do some work for people to get money. Pray for Gods strength. Dont even call because your daughter wants to speak. Let him call his daughter. If your daughter desperately wants to speak get someone else to act as the father. What you are doing is enabling his behavior but if he sees you dont care he would reset his behavior.

MsJackson:
I live around Sango Ota, very close to Covenant University. PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME SECURE A JOB AROUND OTA AND IT'S ENVIRONS, I will be most grateful. You would have saved me in more ways than you can imagine.
I studied Chemical Engineering but will work anywhere as long as there's salary at the end of the month. God bless you all.

instead of this approach, rather use a skill you acquired, go around your vicinity and offer some service for pay. While waiting for white collar.

MsJackson:
My husband of 10 years just walked out on me for a week now because he said I'm just relaxing in the house without a job. He left me with my 6 year old daughter with nothing. I had to borrow to feed and take care of her because she fell seriously sick and had to be taken to the health centre.
I'm not the type that sits at home and expect only him to fend for the family, I was actually working and earning ok and have been supporting him for years, until I lost the job. Now because I've not been able to secure another, he left me high and dry. I even told him that the year has ended and it's hard to get job placements now, until next year, besides I'm willing to take up teaching again (which I never wanted to go back into, due to my previous bad experiences teaching in schools and very low pay) just to make sure I contribute to the home, but he's still adamant. He gave me the hint that not until I'm able to secure a job, he's not coming back home.
We're not paying rent, only feeding and my daughter's school fees, which I can truthfully say I have been totally contributing to. Especially in the feeding aspect.
He has been avoiding my calls, but I tried putting a call through to him last night because our child needed earnestly to speak to him, he picked and they spoke.
My question are:
- what he did, was it right?
- when he eventually comes back, how should I handle the issue of his leaving?
Because if I allow it pass or don't handle it appropriately, he will think it's okay to always leave when the going gets tough, and will eventually do worse in future.

I am almost certain that you have been very reluctant to get a job. As a matter of fact, you haven’t made any efforts. That man has probably been shouldering the responsibilities and all you do all day is sit and press phone. It is pathetic when a woman is lazy and leaves all responsibilities to the man expecting him to toil nonstop.

In this present age and time where things are difficult, you should get off your lazy ass and go find work. If the man dies, God forbid, I’m sure you will quickly start to sel your kpekus to the highest bidder just so u will have food to eat. Just barely 1 week your husband left and you’re already in panic mode because of food. Tueh

He's a wicked human being. As long as you help out with chores, he has no right whatsoever to complain.

Did you beg him to marry you? I bet he wore agbada on his wedding day, flexing muscle like one big man.

You are his responsibility. Continue to emphasise that. Never give him the impression that you've done something wrong. However, it's is very very okay to acknowledge his efforts so long as he acknowledges your efforts at the home front (cooking, laundry, etc.).

I wish Eddy had left my cousin like this, she would av still be here.

She practically push/nag her to her death.

MsJackson:
My husband of 10 years just walked out on me for a week now because he said I'm just relaxing in the house without a job. He left me with my 6 year old daughter with nothing. I had to borrow to feed and take care of her because she fell seriously sick and had to be taken to the health centre.
I'm not the type that sits at home and expect only him to fend for the family, I was actually working and earning ok and have been supporting him for years, until I lost the job. Now because I've not been able to secure another, he left me high and dry. I even told him that the year has ended and it's hard to get job placements now, until next year, besides I'm willing to take up teaching again (which I never wanted to go back into, due to my previous bad experiences teaching in schools and very low pay) just to make sure I contribute to the home, but he's still adamant. He gave me the hint that not until I'm able to secure a job, he's not coming back home.
We're not paying rent, only feeding and my daughter's school fees, which I can truthfully say I have been totally contributing to. Especially in the feeding aspect.
He has been avoiding my calls, but I tried putting a call through to him last night because our child needed earnestly to speak to him, he picked and they spoke.
My question are:
- what he did, was it right?
- when he eventually comes back, how should I handle the issue of his leaving?
Because if I allow it pass or don't handle it appropriately, he will think it's okay to always leave when the going gets tough, and will eventually do worse in future.

I am actually more worried about your closing questions.
It tells me you have not even taken a proper appraisal of your situation. Ok let me answer u.
1. What does it matter to u, if we tell u what he did is right or wrong? Does it change ur situation? Or u just want a sense of 'yes he is wrong', then wat? Money will fall down?
2. Y do u assume he will come back? Or even if he does, y assume he will stay?

Change your mindset now to the mindset of:
1. I have got this
2. I will get myself out of this situation and live my best life with or without him.

Then get to work. Cos u have work to do on urself, for u and ur baby's sake.

StPete:


I am almost certain that you have been very reluctant to get a job. As a matter of fact, you haven’t made any efforts. That man has probably been shouldering the responsibilities and all you do all day is sit and press phone. It is pathetic when a woman is lazy and leaves all responsibilities to the man expecting him to toil nonstop.

In this present age and time where things are difficult, you should get off your lazy ass and go find work. If the man dies, God forbid, I’m sure you will quickly start to sel your kpekus to the highest bidder just so u will have food to eat. Just barely 1 week your husband left and you’re already in panic mode because of food. Tueh

why this? Do you know me from anywhere?

layzie:


I am actually more worried about your closing questions.
It tells me you have not even taken a proper appraisal of your situation. Ok let me answer u.
1. What does it matter to u, if we tell u what he did is right or wrong? Does it change ur situation? Or u just want a sense of 'yes he is wrong', then wat? Money will fall down?
2. Y do u assume he will come back? Or even if he does, y assume he will stay?

Change your mindset now to the mindset of:
1. I have got this
2. I will get myself out of this situation and live my best life with or without him.

Then get to work. Cos u have work to do on urself, for u and ur baby's sake.

Thank you, I get your line of thought

A man who doesn't want to provide for you and who can abandon you and your child with nothing is no a man but a child in a man's body. He's showing you he doesn't care about you and your child. Wickedness.

When you do find another job, you'd be a fool to accept him back. Should you lose your job again, fall sick and unable to work, he will abandon you again. Better to raise your child alone ( he don abandon you to do that sef ) and spend your money on taking care of the two of you than be sharing money with a man who can abandon you at anytime not giving a damn about you. Wise up!

Make I ask, did you force him to marry you? This isn't a man who wants to be with you. Like someone said, him cheating is a possibility too. He could have another woman and using ur situation as excuse to leave the marriage. I'm a man and telling you how we operate.

StPete:


I am almost certain that you have been very reluctant to get a job. As a matter of fact, you haven’t made any efforts. That man has probably been shouldering the responsibilities and all you do all day is sit and press phone. It is pathetic when a woman is lazy and leaves all responsibilities to the man expecting him to toil nonstop.

In this present age and time where things are difficult, you should get off your lazy ass and go find work. If the man dies, God forbid, I’m sure you will quickly start to sel your kpekus to the highest bidder just so u will have food to eat. Just barely 1 week your husband left and you’re already in panic mode because of food. Tueh

You are eternally daft

Do you know the Op from anywhere? Typing from your 2 by 2 cubicle like you are physically there to know Op is lazy when she said that she has been contributing for upkeep when she had a job, the guts of silly little boys here, very crass.

StPete:


I am almost certain that you have been very reluctant to get a job. As a matter of fact, you haven’t made any efforts. That man has probably been shouldering the responsibilities and all you do all day is sit and press phone. It is pathetic when a woman is lazy and leaves all responsibilities to the man expecting him to toil nonstop.

In this present age and time where things are difficult, you should get off your lazy ass and go find work. If the man dies, God forbid, I’m sure you will quickly start to sel your kpekus to the highest bidder just so u will have food to eat. Just barely 1 week your husband left and you’re already in panic mode because of food. Tueh

Oga!, Do you know the OP in person before now ..that you are writing "Almost Certain" ?

You are an Adult, a man of your Age shouldn't address a family matter the way you just did.

If any woman had hurt you before, you don't carry that grudges around like a child.

You no be am jare.

Fountainofyouth:



You are eternally daft

Do you know the Op from anywhere? Typing from your 2 by 2 cubicle like you are physically there to know Op is lazy when she said that she has been contributing for upkeep when she had a job, the guts of silly little boys here, very crass.

Don't mind the fellow. To even think of such words coming from a person of his Age, ..is so so annoying.

What if the man is drained financially?you re practically trying to break this woman's already shaken home.

The husband has rights to complain, he's human for God sake and cannot do pass his self.

Oga tell the lady to go get a job kawai,no sugar coating the bitter truth.

You Don't know how long the husband has bn telling her to get a job and help easing the burden.

Acidosis:
He's a wicked human being. As long as you help out with chores, he has no right whatsoever to complain.

Did you beg him to marry you? I bet he wore agbada on his wedding day, flexing muscle like one big man.

You are his responsibility. Continue to emphasise that. Never give him the impression that you've done something wrong. However, it's is very very okay to acknowledge his efforts so long as he acknowledges your efforts at the home front (cooking, laundry, etc.).

The truth's the man is seeing someone else.
The lady should try get a job and mind her she deals with her husband shikina.

He's an irresponsible fellow. This is why women have to be careful who they marry.

What's common sense again?

StPete:


I am almost certain that you have been very reluctant to get a job. As a matter of fact, you haven’t made any efforts. That man has probably been shouldering the responsibilities and all you do all day is sit and press phone. It is pathetic when a woman is lazy and leaves all responsibilities to the man expecting him to toil nonstop.

In this present age and time where things are difficult, you should get off your lazy ass and go find work. If the man dies, God forbid, I’m sure you will quickly start to sel your kpekus to the highest bidder just so u will have food to eat. Just barely 1 week your husband left and you’re already in panic mode because of food. Tueh

Fountainofyouth:



You are eternally daft

Do you know the Op from anywhere? Typing from your 2 by 2 cubicle like you are physically there to know Op is lazy when she said that she has been contributing for upkeep when she had a job, the guts of silly little boys here, very crass.

You're one very nasty b.itch and I am happy I struck a nerve because I am very sure you are like the OP if not worse. You sit all day at home pressing phone and waiting for one hardworking man to come feed you. You will learn and learn in a very terrible way soonest