Romantic relationships are mostly misunderstood by most Nigerian men. Consciously or unconsciously, eighty percent of these men have extremely low self-esteem, and as a result, they are to blame for the great majority of entitled women in our society. They are hardwired to think that if they put themselves down and do unnecessary things, they will be able to control things and get access to sex.

I've had the chance to talk to men from other cultures, including Asian, Western, and African men, and I can state with certainty that Nigerian men are the most unsophisticated when it comes to relationships. Unless you are a sugar daddy, I have never seen or heard of a country where you have to sponsor a romantic outing 100%. I can understand if the lady is not okay financially. Why would you let a girl try to talk you into accepting bills that would empty your bank account if it weren't for your ignorance and self-interest?

Undoubtedly, love entails a commitment; love is a selfless act that requires reciprocity. For it to succeed, there must be effort from both parties.It is perplexing to me why a man would abandon his pursuit of personal growth, achieving financial independence, and providing for his significant other in favour of seducing a woman in order to fulfil his lust. This can only happen in Nigeria. Although the majority of Nigerian men are highly intelligent, confident in both their walk and speech, and diligent achievers, they are actually sex slaves that they mistake for relationships.

Our women are used to most men trying to impress them, so when they meet a man who believes in himself and refuses to give in to their demands, they will think he is stingy and poor. Because they are desperate to have a certain girl who is unimportant, the majority of our men will even hurt another man. For the sake of sex, we have men who steal, sell their properties, and put in a lot of effort to elevate some of the lower classes in our society.

Sometimes, when I watch these men acting crazy and going online to cry, I get a weak erection. Because we have dishonest men, men who trade valuables for sex, and men with low self-esteem, our women are the most unfaithful in the world. Men shape any society. When we knowingly put ourselves in this precarious situation, why is there so much noise?

Gerrard59

Raalsalghul:
Gerrard.59

Thanks for the mention.

I will say three reasons are behind the mentality:

Culture: Some ethnic groups in Nigeria view the place of the man as the provider of every material thing. These cultures dictate men go all the way to show that they "deserve" the women they want. Some cultures are worse than others. This also applies to India, as certain cultures in India have similar practices. In fact, I will say it is global, but the degree/extent differs based on my second reason.

Poverty: The poorer a society is, the less likelihood love or genuine likeness exist in that society. Love cannot/does not exist in the world's poverty capital - Tensa20. Using the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs: those at the nadir cannot express love because survival is paramount.

Attitudes towards sex: This is a hypothesis, though, but many ethnic groups demonise sex (add religion, and it exacerbates). I posit that societies that abhor non-marital sexual intercourse push men to extreme levels to show they are worthy of being allowed access to the vagina. This is in contrast to Southern Africa, where the norms regarding sex are more liberal than in Nigeria. This attitude stems from childhood, where young males are told that "make money and women will come" or "make money before thinking of sex". This results in a large population of young males postponing sex till when they have a bit of change. However, testosterone, a hormone, is not a m.oron. Many young males in the country are fighting against their hormones but cannot release them the appropriate way because they will go to hell. So, I hypothesise that when they have money, they go all the way to prove that "what money cannot do, more money can do". They have been sexually deprived since birth. So, I understand that POV.

sirjamesjnr:


Sometimes, when I watch these men acting crazy and going online to cry, I get a weak erection. Because we have dishonest men, men who trade valuables for sex, and men with low self-esteem, our women are the most unfaithful in the world. Men shape any society. When we knowingly put ourselves in this precarious situation, why is there so much noise?

Praise the Lord!!!! 🙌

See more here: https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women

Gerrard59:


Thanks for the mention.

I will say three reasons are behind the mentality:

Culture: Some ethnic groups in Nigeria view the place of the man as the provider of every material thing. These cultures dictate men go all the way to show that they "deserve" the women they want. Some cultures are worse than others. This also applies to India, as certain cultures in India have similar practices. In fact, I will say it is global, but the degree/extent differs based on my second reason.

Poverty: The poorer a society is, the less likelihood love or genuine likeness exist in that society. Love cannot/does not exist in the world's poverty capital - Tensa20. Using the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs: those at the nadir cannot express love because survival is paramount.

Attitudes towards sex: This is a hypothesis, though, but many ethnic groups demonise sex (add religion, and it exacerbates). I posit that societies that abhor non-marital sexual intercourse push men to extreme levels to show they are worthy of being allowed access to the vagina. This is in contrast to Southern Africa, where the norms regarding sex are more liberal than in Nigeria. This attitude stems from childhood, where young males are told that "make money and women will come" or "make money before thinking of sex". This results in a large population of young males postponing sex till when they have a bit of change. However, testosterone, a hormone, is not a m.oron. Many young males in the country are fighting against their hormones but cannot release them the appropriate way because they will go to hell. So, I hypothesise that when they have money, they go all the way to prove that "what money cannot do, more money can do". They have been sexually deprived since birth. So, I understand that POV.



Praise the Lord!!!! 🙌

See more here: https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women

Yeah.

I remember being one of those people that argued your point on that thread but time, maturity and exposure has come to make me realize it's the truth.

All developed civilizations and empires both in ancient and modern times have men holding all the aces. No ifs or buts.

Everything is wrong with poverty. It's difficult to be emotionally intelligent when you're poor or from a society where most are in survival mode.

The components that makes up emotional intelligence are self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy and social skills. These traits are common with educated, properly developed individual.

In a country where instead of a girl that doesn't like you to let you go, she decides to convert you to a maga (showing a lack of empathy), or a man uses a girl that truly loves him as his personal sex slave.

Some see it as being smart, I see it as being stupid and low barrel. Such "smartness" can only succeed with unsophisticated people, not those who are properly developed and have self-respect.

All in all, emotional intelligence is a by-product of self-consciousness, or the golden rule, where you treat others how you want to be treated.

Example of emotional intelligence.

Amaka: Daniel, I want to quickly rush to the rest room to ease myself.

Daniel: Okay, no worries, I'll also use this opportunity to get something from the supermarket in front of us.


What Daniel did there is genius. By going to the supermarket, he has made Amaka feel like she is not wasting his time if she took long in the rest room.

Also, using the restroom might just be an euphemism for maybe taking a shit, changing her pads, doing make-up, etc. The toilet might just be an excuse for a quick alone time to fix something.

If Daniel took her word at face value, then he would be disappointed if Amaka returned in 20 mins time. Amaka also might be tensed and rush herself if she feels like Daniel is waiting and might be wondering why she is taking so long.

And if Daniel is an idiot, he would ask her, why she took so long. So Daniel going to the supermarket was a perfect matching response, and Amaka will call him when she is done.

Another example.

You stumble upon Emeka and Chukwudi fighting. Emeka is your friend, and clearly from the narration, Emeka is at fault.

Then Chukwudi asked you, oga Daniel, don't you think what Emeka did was wrong? How can he not do the job I paid him for, and dribbling me for over two months?

Daniel responded, I'm sorry things didn't go as planned. I can understand you're rightfully angry, but please, let's all calm down and solve this peacefully. I'll talk to Emeka and hope you guys fix this. Daniel is smart.

He is not issuing justice-on-the-spot, especially to a friend. He can blame Emeka in private, but not in public, or at least instantly. Daniel would want to be treated in the same manner, so he should do the same to Emeka.