havenz:
At least she for tell one person among her family members, what if something had happened to her badly or she go further (God forbid o), the whole of her plan and the building for be another stranger inheritance. Let's learn to keep somethings out of secret abeg, family is one.

babaYIBO:


You people aren’t seeing this thing in the same perspective as I want, but I understand, this is the internet until it becomes your reality.

I’m talking about someone that go about acting broke and all the family would not mind contributing to donate to her.

Funniest thing is, non of our parents know and my dad to death complained about the fact that she’s the most different amongst us. I was defending her in front of my dad. Begging him to forgive her whatever she must hav done.

Naira2Man:


So this is the reason why you people are angry with her, what kind of thinking is this?

Naira2Man:


I am broke lend me money I will return it on so and so day so becos you borrow me I most tell you I am building house, the money did I not return it?, she is a smart girl she was building house and she told everybody she is broke so everybody left her alone, in every family some will have while some will have more, it takes real sacrifice to build wealth who knows maybe her husband is sacrificing different kinds of insults at work just to push and encourage his wife, he know rent payments will soon be removed from their wage bill and they can use that rent for other developmental projects mean while your own husband is forming big man paying for other peoples drinks at bar, in this Nigeria of today you push yourself if you want success, you keep on investing in your family's development be4 you realise it you are climbing people will be telling you that you are lucky but you create your own luck with focus and smart working methods. please she borrow money from you she did not borrow money from, I am broke or I am not broke that woman do not do any wrong she worked hard and she achieved celebrate her!

xpressnow:
Sharing good news before or after it's materialize is dangerous IF shared with the wrong people, family members inclusive. But how would you know them? They don't have marks on their foreheads, or walk around with billboards. Most times, they are your super religious people.

Yes, you're right about cutting such wicked people out of your life.

Now don't get me wrong, we still have some amazing family members - amazing moms, dads, and siblings. To anyone reading this, thank your stars if you're truly blessed with them.

However, we also have a lot of evil moms, dads, and siblings who roll with the devil. No one has the stats, so we can stick to the use of quantifiers such as some and a lot/many.

What's even crazy is that some people trust their fathers, mothers, and/or siblings so much without knowing that it's that same person/group they trusted with their life that's behind their affliction. Some will never know - they'll just blame their lot in life on the economy, the Nigerian factor, & the rest of it, and console themselves with Bible/Quran. But in actuality, na one or a coalition of member of their household who has held them down. For some, they'll realize later, later in life - it'll be too late. They would have lost their best years and days.

Did you know that opolopo lo je pe iya to bi won lo de baba won magolo ti ko fi jeeyan. Nipa bee, iya waa diran fun iya, baba, ati awon omo? oh my, oh my, oh my. Blacks why did you chose this lot?

My advice to everyone I like is for them to not lose guard IF they themselves are not part of these Oloribuu to n ja ile onile lati fi bo ti won leyin.

havenz:
More than one person knew about the property. Baba is low key pained it’s not him.

It’s just that sense of entitlement. Your sister owe you absolutely NOTHING! to disclose if she is building a house or not. She might truly be broke when she asked you for money because she had spent all her money on the building project.

I don’t blame her for not telling you guys! The reason you are pained is the reason she didn’t tell you.

The moment she tell you she is building a house is when your family might need money for this and that. And when she say she doesn’t have, you will still tag her wicked.

Go and celebrate with her or go build your own and announce it to the whole family! Simple!
.

Shalommy:
She's a wise woman. Some family members are obstacles. Chaii..

advanceDNA:


U no sabi read and apply context joor.....u waste money for school....

Whatisurproblem:
you are a witch 🧹🪄. She need to clip your wing and keep you in dungeon.

appini:
Doing same in lagos now, I don't trust him. I have uncountable reasons why I will never tell him my movements. Don't let the same flame burn you twice.

Trustmea:

To be honestly speaking the one that complained of his friend not telling him is right, how can someone you ate in the same plate with, you confided in on him and take him like a brother, you assisted him when he don't have and yet he built house without even telling u. It means that fellow don't see you as a true friend perhaps he sees you as an enemy of progress hence concealing his plan from you. It's too bad, if I'm carrying any big projects like building house I will always confide in on some people bossom to me unless I view you as someone..... you know the rest abeg

TheFinesseKid:
and feeding off the same people she couldn't trust. Una just gather dey yarn f anyhow for NL. Why did she have to be asking family members for support . She should have stuck to her own. Wicked people

EvangelistChuks:
Lif e is not about what you achieve but what you were able to build. Achivevement last at most a lifetime but what you build,transcends time or generations.

dettolgel:

Well I understand that compression could be a problem a times but I did imagine it being this difficult when you have the opportunity to re-read a text and you are not under duress to respond within a given time frame.



I am not sure that there is anywhere in my post where I indicated that I am angry with the sister. I only pointed out the op position. I don't understand how that translate to 'you people being angry". Maybe there is something I missed if there is please point it out. I shall be happy to read that and correct it.




Of course, I used the relationship between me and my sibling to indicate how things work for us and how I will respond given the relationship between us. How would I know all of their earning power if I am not closed to them? Secondly you would have seen where I said that building a house is a smart choice ( in this scenario I will say that because I assume it is a normal scenario but that isn't the case always. I have several examples where building a house isn't a wise decision but that is not the case here or rather I don't know much about the situation of op's sister to even delve into that).

If you had said maybe the op failed to elaborate the exact relationship between him and his sister since that can give us an indication of why that is the case. Like I pointed out, in my family everyone has a decent idea of everyone's earning power. We are very close there is no way anyone of use (all married with families) will embark on such project without at least notifying one person. Even my sister when she and her husband started building everyone in my family knew and we kind of stopped them from contributing to some family activities because we understood how capital intensive it is to build a house.

Maybe in your family you don't trust your siblings or you are raised that way that is not the same for everyone. Yes I thank God for my parents for raising us the way they did. When we all did our projects every other sibling knew and we even sort advice from those that did before us. When they all travelled we are all aware from the day they started the process and we all put it in prayer and kept a tight lip until it was done and they all travelled. That is the nature of the relationship in most normal family. So don't be surprised when people from normal household find it bizarre. Because indeed it is bizarre.

I could also acknowledge the fact that most people from normal home erroneously believe that every other person is from a normal home. I had that believe for a very long time until I started mingling with people and started seeing some weird stuff that goes on in most family.

So it is not about people asking you for money because you are building a house, it is about relationship (i.e is there is such in the first place) and family.

On the other hand, I find it sneaky and dubious if you could ask other people for money even if it is loan. Who knowns if they also wanted to embark on a major project. But decided to give it to you because they consider you family and thought that you really need it for urgent and things that has to be sorted out immediately?

When our last born wanted to travel with his family, we were informed and our eldest brother who was about starting his second house. Suspended it and pull all his fund into our last born account. We all then pitched in as well. When he travelled the funds were released back and our eldest brother continued his project. He was not obligated to do so, he chose to do so because of the type of relationship that exist in the family and we were all grateful to him. That is what family is all about. I can tell you for a fact, when he told me he wanted to buy a car I called someone I know in the states to get the type of car he was looking for. I only collected the exact price of the car from him, the shipping and clearing cost my other siblings and I paid for it without him asking. Because of the kind of brother he is to us. He can afford it without asking anyone for a dime we could also afford to gift him a car as well. So telling someone about some important thing shows how much you value them and how much they meant to you.

I will give a story that broke a friendship of over 15 years. I had a former colleague who told me a story about his uncle and his friend. When his uncle travelled to Europe for his studies (as a self sponsored student) he kept in touch with his childhood friend. Every now and then his childhood friend will call and complained of hunger and how bad the economy was ( this was late 90s early 2000). His uncle will out of his little income from his 20 hours per week salary pay his rent keep a little aside and send the rest to support his childhood friend and his new family. Because he knew that his friend did not have a very good paying job then and was newly married with a young family. He said according to his uncle, there were times he would send his last card to his friend.

After he graduated he got a job and the first thing did he did was to visit home (because his only sister was living in europe with their mom, I think their dad was late and no other immediate family back home) to see his childhood friend and discuss with him how best to help established him(based on the fact that he will soon start making steady income abroad and would rather have him established that sending him stipend).

When he got to Nigeria he went to visit him in the address the friend gave him. While he was there discussing with his friend someone came I forgot what exactly transpired but the friend excused himself. The uncle was left with the friend's wife, in the course of his discussion with the friend's wife the uncle told the friend wife that he likes the compound and the house is well built and the woman said thank God for providing for them, that they just completed the one that they in now and she pointed to the uncompleted building on the other side of the compound and said that they hope to finish that and rent it out. The uncle said he pretended as if he knew and they continued their conversation.

When the husband came back the wife left, and my colleague uncle now said something to his friend like this is a nice vantage place and the friend told him that they were fortunate to have been able to rent the place. My colleague uncle then told his friend that the wife already told him you guys owned the place, His friend was embarrassed and started apologizing. He said he told him there was no need for that that he understand.

Since then he never picked the guys call and stop every communication with him. Because for him:

1. He thought that they were best friend. From the very first time he started thinking of traveling till when he left for studies in Europe, his friend knew every step of the process.
2. While working in the winter cold in Europe as a student, he told his friend everything. He knew how much he earned as a student and even when he will send his last card to him, he knew. There was even a time he would borrow like 20 euros to send across because his friend told him that they could hardly feed. Not knowing that he was building a house and putting him under pressure to send them money for feeding knowing full well his situation abroad.

He said well he couldn't trust the guy, the guy tried to reach out. It is about trust and knowing that you meant as much to them as they meant to you, otherwise, it is not worth it.

mabea:
You are not wise at all. Just imagine your response to that write up. Yes it is good to keep some things secret especially when you know the kind of family you have. But heck this lady was exploiting the family members while she was busy building her own house. She abandoned the parents all in the name of building a house. This is deception and shouldn't be encouraged.

babaYIBO:
Just saw a thread where a guy is complaining about his friend not telling him about the fact that he was building his house, and I see a lot of comments complaining condemning the said friend.

https://www.nairaland.com/7892469/he-completed-house-without-uttering

Funny how people exact same thing happened to me last year, this time it wasn’t a from a friend but a blood sister who I thought loved me the way I do for her.

This woman was building her house while pretending to everyone that she was broke.

Funniest thing is, few weeks to moving to us getting to know about the house, she was asking me to lend her 300k as she has plenty debts to pay. Almost sent her 100k, but then I remembered how she prefers to party with her women associates more than she’s willing to buy anything for my parents. This is someone that my dad built and opened shop for.

If a friend do this to me now, walahi I won’t be surprised.

Naira2Man:


How is it betrayal of trust?, did she borrow money and run away with it, or did she scam anybody, you people just create bad blood btwn people this is evil, totally wrong, everybody should mind their business, it is people like you that collect the properties of children if something happens to their parents, just be happy for her and work for your own, understand that she kept it quiet becos she does not want distractions of any kind or type from anyone family or friends

mabea:
Yours is different

babaYIBO:
Just saw a thread where a guy is complaining about his friend not telling him about the fact that he was building his house, and I see a lot of comments complaining condemning the said friend.

https://www.nairaland.com/7892469/he-completed-house-without-uttering

Funny how people exact same thing happened to me last year, this time it wasn’t a from a friend but a blood sister who I thought loved me the way I do for her.

This woman was building her house while pretending to everyone that she was broke.

Funniest thing is, few weeks to moving to us getting to know about the house, she was asking me to lend her 300k as she has plenty debts to pay. Almost sent her 100k, but then I remembered how she prefers to party with her women associates more than she’s willing to buy anything for my parents. This is someone that my dad built and opened shop for.

If a friend do this to me now, walahi I won’t be surprised.

babaYIBO:
Just saw a thread where a guy is complaining about his friend not telling him about the fact that he was building his house, and I see a lot of comments complaining condemning the said friend.

https://www.nairaland.com/7892469/he-completed-house-without-uttering

Funny how people exact same thing happened to me last year, this time it wasn’t a from a friend but a blood sister who I thought loved me the way I do for her.

This woman was building her house while pretending to everyone that she was broke.

Funniest thing is, few weeks to moving to us getting to know about the house, she was asking me to lend her 300k as she has plenty debts to pay. Almost sent her 100k, but then I remembered how she prefers to party with her women associates more than she’s willing to buy anything for my parents. This is someone that my dad built and opened shop for.

If a friend do this to me now, walahi I won’t be surprised.

CrossRhodes:

This is a very foolish talk and mindset

bestman09:
Everything should not be kept secret in life. A man was building a house secretly in felele area, Ibadan without telling his wife or any relation and suddenly died due to an accident in 1996. Because no one knew his family, that land remained fallow for over 20 years till 3 years ago when some omonile fought over the land as one set of omonile sold the house to someone else without settling the other side, that's how people knew about the reason why the land has been idle for a long time. However the matter was settled but the family of the man that owned the land remains unknown and the said land has been resold to someone else.

It's fair enough to hide some things to friends, but family? Noo

babaYIBO:


L
I hope your close relatives do same for you. Especially the people you love with all your life and always ready to divulge your life progress to them.

I hope your kids do same for you as well.

Manuel91:

Chief, a big Amen to this…
The fact that you think things should go a certain way is why you’re really upset with your sister. If you truly understand life and probably gotten to the stage of having your own family; you’d understand “why you should let things work out the way God plans”.
Now there’s a difference when your sister builds her house and never tells any of her family members and there’s a difference when she doesn’t disclose it whilst in working…. When my fiancé was pregnant with my son, I didn’t tell anyone (and I mean anyone), I told my family when the doctor handed my son over to me. Same as when I building my first house. I only told them when I had completed it. And they were happy for me, prayed for me and blessed it. But I guess you’re more upset cos she acted broke and even loaned money from you.
Trust me bro, there’s more about life you do not understand yet, it’s a cold world man. ( I’m not saying she doesn’t trust you guys). God Bless you!!

Naira2Man:

My believe is if you are rending any kind of help to anybody family, friend or stranger do it for only for the sake of God not expecting any thing back from the person, your intention should be only God so if you can afford 1k t help for the sake of God, never look back and say I fed this person I helped this person, my dad taught me this and you can never be emotional blackmailed into doing a good deed, never be frivolous with your money work and strive to your best I can remember my dad's words ;if you are going to do a job do it well; rely on God alone dont rely on people, and this gave me my independent nature I never feel entitled to what isnt mine and I believe if I put my mind to it I can do it. Dont get me wrong communism in a family unit nothing wrong with it but do not castigate he/she who does not follow it, I am a man I am independent I follow thru with my decision, I am not remote controled by extended family after consulating whoever I wish I act.
That is why I am finding it very hard to understand is why trying to paint her as a bad person, this is a very wrong mentality, it is a wrong state of mind she does not have to tell you everything also you too dont have to tell her everything going on in your life if you do that is you business, you are her extended family her husband and children is her immediate family. it is not a crime neither is it a betrayal of trust becos she did not bretray any agreement betwn the two of you, she built house she did not tell that is not bretrayal, that mindset is wrong She is a woman and she entitled to her privacy and personal decision she does not have to report to anyone and she should not be cut off from her extended family becos of this, learn those prossessive taits from her, her tenacity, her strong will, her drive, and her ability to success, she did not force you to drop money and this is your only case against her and it is only becos she built house, she said she is broke and you people helped, it as she not helped and contributed too in the past?