Gentledude52:
A BIT LONG BUT PLEASE ENDURE
She initiated the chat on Facebook about two years ago, I wondered why a lady would just chat up someone she doesn’t know. During our chats I questioned her if she ever knew me and her response was no. After some days, she confessed that she knew my parents, siblings and I. I was angry because she lied to me. Thereafter, I asked her what her intentions were but she said nothing. We became friends and later started dating same year. Sincerely, since we started dating, things weren’t working too well for me. I increased my hustle as a man from job hunting, even to a point I wanted to travel abroad but all to no avail. I started afresh hunting for job until I saw one I was managing. August last year, she became pregnant for me. I informed my parents and we went to see her people and the ‘Marriage List’ was given earlier this year waiting till she delivers before doing the necessary. By His Grace, she gave birth on May this year. It’s been hell for me after she gave birth. She lies countlessly, she involves third parties a lot and does not give me peace of mind. I talked to her how important I value my peace of mind, hate third parties and lies. She discuss every atom of us to her family and she prefers to please her family and displease me. Her family tells her what to do and wants her to manipulate me. June 29th, I told her that I wouldn’t want her sisters to visit my house again for now because of their attitudes but before I knew it, she called the sisters (three of them including her and the mom) and they bombarded my house with threats and fight. I was shocked but held myself not to act otherwise, I called my mom and when she sighted the scene, she fumed but no one was hurt. My parents and I insisted she must leave that day and she left with my daughter of a month plus. After some days she came begging but my parents zeroed their minds because of the insults and disgraced caused. This is a family where her parents (though dad is late) gave birth to eight (3 boys and 5 girls), she happens to be the 7th child and none of them is married. I wonder the kind of marriage advice they want to give her and the only person (her mom) that would have given her ruined it. She’s been begging but my family does not want her anymore. I see my daughter anytime I want to and send her money, monthly for my baby’s upkeep. Now, she came to a conclusion that she will disallow me from seeing my baby and was raining curses. This is a lady I provide for without her telling me, gave her all attention, emotion and others but she never appreciated it. I saw so many red flags but never knew I would be emotionally and financially traumatized and depressed this way. After the ordeal, I tried to make sure everything work out but NO, she brings up silly characters at any time and boom, I will regret ever wanting things to work out. I want to delete her entirely come this 2024, hope I won’t make any costly mistake in future because of my daughter?
PLEASE ADVICE NEEDED

Persephone1:
She's the no good demon while you are the innocent angel.


You are not ready yet for advice... Carry your wahala dey go 2024

illicit:
The fb chat

Is it true that she knows ur parents?


🕶️

Starz825:
this is just one reason I don't sleep with ladies anyhow.....

someone I don't love or wouldn't love will carry my baby. God forbid


you just have to be the one I like, cherish, and would marry....


I no go give you my sperm if I no like you....would rather double my cd

Op...your decision is ok.. she's now ur baby mama......

Wainey:
I will like to hear her own part of the story.

One thing is for certain, falling in love takes little or no effort but staying in love takes emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence, self control and commitment.

Happily married people also face issues but they understand that commitment and compromise to your spouse is a foundation to a healthy relationship.

I think you and your wife should issue out your problems for the sake of ur child

Westerhoffe:
Most of you jump into marriage and jump out because you don't look before you leap.

ForChrist1:


Sometimes it is advisable to still hear from the other party before passing a judgement or advice on relationship matters because when people narrate their side, they paint themselves as the saint and the other as the devil.

For example do you abuse the said lady in any way? emotionally or physically? Are you difficult to live with, controlling; do you pick offence at the slightest provocation hence making her depressed and needing comfort by reaching out to her family? Is she going through post partum depression? These are typical questions I would throw at you before giving an advise.

But if all you have stated is entire picture, then I think it may have been the best decision on your path to move on since you are both not compatible enough and there are elements of violence and third party medleys involved.
I would say good luck to you on your next dating experience but try your best to keep looking after that child and providing for his upkeep.
Cheers.

BondRiv:
You saw all the red flags and yet impregnated her. That is how some of you keep creating baby mamas, no marriage.

I hate this baby mama culture.

Gentledude52:


I don't abuse her physically but I was forced to talk to her harshly after she keeps pestering my friends to talk to me for reunion and when given the chance, she will misuse it. I am not difficult to live with and I don't pick offense easily. It's very sad seeing my daughter not raised under my care. It's well. Thank you very much .

Uptheante:

Are you even sure the so-called daughter is yours?
Have you conducted DNA test to be sure the daughter is yours?

Rajman45:
Is not easy living with such a lady, especially the ones with bad parenting. Please don't rush into marriage with such a lady , if she's not ready to change.
Don't allow her to blackmail you with your daughter, take care of her.....if the lady is doing anyhow, take her court. She has no right to keep your child away from you, if you're a responsible father.

Persephone1:
She's the no good demon while you are the innocent angel.


You are not ready yet for advice... Carry your wahala dey go 2024

ExudeLoveToAll:


I hope you write same for every issue you comment on Nland, unfortunately that's not the case.

You are seeing yourself in the picture that's why you can't put forward a comment