I’ve been dating a guy for 2 months, we both agreed on not wanting a relationship as (I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and he said he had things he needed to work on himself) but I agreed to date him as he said he would be open minded. It’s been very lovely dating him but he suddenly wanted to call it quits because he thinks I might want more in the future and he’s not willing to give me that. He’s based things off the 5 personality traits (psychological theories- check online) lol, he said I’m not an “agreeable person” and that’s not what he looks for in a woman. I’m so angry cause at no point have I mentioned wanting a relationship with this man but everyweek he feels the need to remind me that it’s not going to happen. We got drunk few weeks ago and he was professing how much he wanted me to his girl but I didn’t take it seriously, we both got drunk again together and I was the one saying how much I liked him, although again I didn’t take it too seriously. I told him in the “future” if it does turn into something serious then I don’t mind and he just said “let’s end things now” (God he was so cold when he said this). This is someone I’ve literally spent every week with, I’m not in love him but yeah I do like him but he was just so cold about it, almost like he didn’t even value me as an individual in that moment. I’m so angry and hurt by this cause it’s just shown he didn’t plan to be open minded about anything at all. I regret getting drunk with him and saying the things I said. He said to me he was doing me a favour and he feels like he’s holding me back from dating other people. He said he would call back during the week as he felt bad about the whole thing but honestly I am so shocked and distraught. I don’t really ask him if he’s seeing other girls or doing things with other people cause I don’t care, the same person is the person that would be asking me if I miss him etc so I’m just so shocked, how do I deal with this when he does call back this week? This is someone I get along with very well and we don’t impose anything on each other.

The first paragraph taught me something sha.

tanyah001:
I’ve been dating a guy for 2 months, we both agreed on not wanting a relationship as (I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and he said he had things he needed to work on himself) but I agreed to date him as he said he would be open minded. It’s been very lovely dating him but he suddenly wanted to call it quits because he thinks I might want more in the future and he’s not willing to give me that. He’s based things off the 5 personality traits (psychological theories- check online) lol, he said I’m not an “agreeable person” and that’s not what he looks for in a woman. I’m so angry cause at no point have I mentioned wanting a relationship with this man but everyweek he feels the need to remind me that it’s not going to happen. We got drunk few weeks ago and he was professing how much he wanted me to his girl but I didn’t take it seriously, we both got

The guy is seriously redpilled and got you right where he wanted.

Madam..., Nigeria is hard now..... LEAVE HIM BE.
Just give him some time to regress sense; dont choke him join.
My 2centIMETRE

tanyah001:
I’ve been dating a guy for 2 months, we both agreed on not wanting a relationship as (I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and he said he had things he needed to work on himself) but I agreed to date him as he said he would be open minded. It’s been very lovely dating him but he suddenly wanted to call it quits because he thinks I might want more in the future and he’s not willing to give me that. He’s based things off the 5 personality traits (psychological theories- check online) lol, he said I’m not an “agreeable person” and that’s not what he looks for in a woman. I’m so angry cause at no point have I mentioned wanting a relationship with this man but everyweek he feels the need to remind me that it’s not going to happen. We got drunk few weeks ago and he was professing how much he wanted me to his girl but I didn’t take it seriously, we both got drunk again together and I was the one saying how much I liked him, although again I didn’t take it too seriously. I told him in the “future” if it does turn into something serious then I don’t mind and he just said “let’s end things now” (God he was so cold when he said this). This is someone I’ve literally spent every week with, I’m not in love him but yeah I do like him but he was just so cold about it, almost like he didn’t even value me as an individual in that moment. I’m so angry and hurt by this cause it’s just shown he didn’t plan to be open minded about anything at all. I regret getting drunk with him and saying the things I said. He said to me he was doing me a favour and he feels like he’s holding me back from dating other people. He said he would call back during the week as he felt bad about the whole thing but honestly I am so shocked and distraught. I don’t really ask him if he’s seeing other girls or doing things with other people cause I don’t care, the same person is the person that would be asking me if I miss him etc so I’m just so shocked, how do I deal with this when he does call back this week? This is someone I get along with very well and we don’t impose anything on each other.

We got drunk few weeks ago and he was professing how much he wanted me to his girl but I didn’t take it seriously, we both got drunk again together and I was the one saying how much I liked him, although again I didn’t take it too seriously

Forget about modernity claims, if you are getting drunk with ANY African man, he'll never take you seriously in a rship. He'll always have a part of him seeing you as a LovePeddler. This is not necessarily true (though often true), but Africans are not yet modern to that point.

I have some personal advice for you if you want it.

SharingIsLife:

Forget about modernity claims, if you are getting drunk with ANY African man, he'll never take you seriously in a rship. He'll always have a part of him seeing you as a LovePeddler. This is not necessarily true (though often true), but Africans are not yet modern to that point.

I have some personal advice for you if you want it.

That would be very helpful, I’m open to your advice

How old are you guys sef?

Exceed15:
How old are you guys sef?

25 and 26

tanyah001:


25 and 26

Ok. Never let a man marry you out of pity. He seems confused. If he's not Into you please cut it off and move ahead for someone who values you.

What I see is two children who don't know what a relationship is all about but believes because of the mainstream media whatever feelings they can get together at that present time together.
And all these psychology personality nonsense like the mbti, DISC. Personally, I see all those things as nonsense to be honest. But since almost everyone believes in them, it's good to know about it to help study people. But it gets things wrong in how people think, not just on personality. And why would I take a test to tell me about my own personality? Doesn't make sense.

GreatAchiever1:
What I see is two children who don't know what a relationship is all about but believes because of the mainstream media whatever feelings they can get together at that present time together.
And all these psychology personality nonsense like the mbti, DISA. Personally, I see all those things as nonsense to be honest. But since almost everyone believes in them, it's good to know about it to help study people. But it gets things wrong in how people think, not just on personality. And why would I take a test to tell me about my own personality? Doesn't make sense.

I understand what you mean but that’s just what works for me at the moment, we do everything people do in relationships just without the title I guess. It’s just at agreement but I do agree about the theories part, I just don’t think it’s fair to be judge based of things like that but that’s just the reality I find myself in

DestinedForGrea:

First paragraph? There's only one.

I thought that was a pun when he said 'the first paragraph '

OP you all should communicate how you feel. Edge him on towards the right convo don't assume things.

Ask questions and make it seem like a conversation rather than an argument

tanyah001:
I’ve been dating a guy for 2 months, we both agreed on not wanting a relationship as (I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and he said he had things he needed to work on himself) but I agreed to date him as he said he would be open minded. It’s been very lovely dating him but he suddenly wanted to call it quits because he thinks I might want more in the future and he’s not willing to give me that. He’s based things off the 5 personality traits (psychological theories- check online) lol, he said I’m not an “agreeable person” and that’s not what he looks for in a woman. I’m so angry cause at no point have I mentioned wanting a relationship with this man but everyweek he feels the need to remind me that it’s not going to happen. We got drunk few weeks ago and he was professing how much he wanted me to his girl but I didn’t take it seriously, we both got drunk again together and I was the one saying how much I liked him, although again I didn’t take it too seriously. I told him in the “future” if it does turn into something serious then I don’t mind and he just said “let’s end things now” (God he was so cold when he said this). This is someone I’ve literally spent every week with, I’m not in love him but yeah I do like him but he was just so cold about it, almost like he didn’t even value me as an individual in that moment. I’m so angry and hurt by this cause it’s just shown he didn’t plan to be open minded about anything at all. I regret getting drunk with him and saying the things I said. He said to me he was doing me a favour and he feels like he’s holding me back from dating other people. He said he would call back during the week as he felt bad about the whole thing but honestly I am so shocked and distraught. I don’t really ask him if he’s seeing other girls or doing things with other people cause I don’t care, the same person is the person that would be asking me if I miss him etc so I’m just so shocked, how do I deal with this when he does call back this week? This is someone I get along with very well and we don’t impose anything on each other.

Two drunkun masters😁😁

The guy seems like an alpha that knows what he wants in life and already calling the shots ⚡⚡
Unlike simps in men's clothing that shivers on the sight of pussy and agree with anything a lady says!!!!

both of you can't be up to 26 years old, if not he would have taken advantage of you.

If you need summary of the write up , read this next line

I don't love him , i love him , i don't want relationship , i want relationship , i am angry , i don't know why he is angry , i regret drinking

If he calls it quit, we both should kickstart where you both stopped.. . Naa this kind affair I dey try tell kemi but she dey claim relationship and trying to force sex on me to trap me. I just ghost her since naa love she dey find

Tanya.
You just got out of a five year relationship and you are even anywhere close to a guy in terms of whatever? Is all well with you?
What were you doing in a five year relationship? Does relationship equate to marriage for you? Na wa ooo! Five years? Unless you are a runs girl (which you don't come across as ) what the hell are you doing with any man who approaches you unless on the basis that he wants to date you on purpose.

Both of you are deceiving each other. You both are waiting to eat the forbidden fruit before you come to your senses. Leave that guy alone immediately and go about healing yourself. Keep yourself to yourself until a man who is intentional comes along. Teach yourself what it means to be human and you will be ready to be a good and worthy partner. If you continue in this route, next thing is that you will come back here and tell us that one of those drunken nights has resulted in "somebody is on the way". We should not take sacred things and play with them.
Next time, don't go into anything with a guy without intention. Not more than six months. A wedding ceremony is a ceremony. You can still do a wedding in Nigeria with N500K if you guys are not greedy. So, the argument about the cost of wedding ceremony should not come up when a guy who truly wants to understand you for a few months before marrying you come along. Moreover, marriage is not everything. Many have lost their lives for insisting on it, while many are living happy single lives when there is no one to marry them.
Get rid of this guy right away and focus on yourself.
Five years..? Damn!

tanyah001:
I’ve been dating a guy for 2 months, we both agreed on not wanting a relationship as (I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and he said he had things he needed to work on himself) but I agreed to date him as he said he would be open minded. It’s been very lovely dating him but he suddenly wanted to call it quits because he thinks I might want more in the future and he’s not willing to give me that. He’s based things off the 5 personality traits (psychological theories- check online) lol, he said I’m not an “agreeable person” and that’s not what he looks for in a woman. I’m so angry cause at no point have I mentioned wanting a relationship with this man but everyweek he feels the need to remind me that it’s not going to happen. We got drunk few weeks ago and he was professing how much he wanted me to his girl but I didn’t take it seriously, we both got drunk again together and I was the one saying how much I liked him, although again I didn’t take it too seriously. I told him in the “future” if it does turn into something serious then I don’t mind and he just said “let’s end things now” (God he was so cold when he said this). This is someone I’ve literally spent every week with, I’m not in love him but yeah I do like him but he was just so cold about it, almost like he didn’t even value me as an individual in that moment. I’m so angry and hurt by this cause it’s just shown he didn’t plan to be open minded about anything at all. I regret getting drunk with him and saying the things I said. He said to me he was doing me a favour and he feels like he’s holding me back from dating other people. He said he would call back during the week as he felt bad about the whole thing but honestly I am so shocked and distraught. I don’t really ask him if he’s seeing other girls or doing things with other people cause I don’t care, the same person is the person that would be asking me if I miss him etc so I’m just so shocked, how do I deal with this when he does call back this week? This is someone I get along with very well and we don’t impose anything on each other.

..
you two are confused.

are you fucking, if yes, maybe u should keep things that way. Trying to take it to the next level may ruin it.

i think you are in love thats why you don't know what to do in the situation,why should you care if he said he wanted to end things with you? since its an open relationship?

if its because you find him intellectually superior and you hunger for more knowledge from him there is no problem if you tell him you fancy his mental capacity and still want to be friends with him because of that.if he is letting you go stop trying to hang on and let him have his peace and take it as an experience, download this app and check your biorhythm compatibility status see the domains you are lacking, screenshot bellow:

Uyi168:
..
you two are confused.

are you fucking, if yes, maybe u should keep things that way. Trying to take it to the next level may ruin it.

Did you read what I wrote? Nobody is trying to take anything to the next level

NemoDatQuod:
Tanya.
You just got out of a five year relationship and you are even anywhere close to a guy in terms of whatever? Is all well with you?
What were you doing in a five year relationship? Does relationship equate to marriage for you? Na wa ooo! Five years? Unless you are a runs girl (which you don't come across as ) what the hell are you doing with any man who approaches you unless on the basis that he wants to date you on purpose.

Both of you are deceiving each other. You both are waiting to eat the forbidden fruit before you come to your senses. Leave that guy alone immediately and go about healing yourself. Keep yourself to yourself until a man who is intentional comes along. Teach yourself what it means to be human and you will be ready to be a good and worthy partner. If you continue in this route, next thing is that you will come back here and tell us that one of those drunken nights has resulted in "somebody is on the way". We should not take sacred things and play with them.
Next time, don't go into anything with a guy without intention. Not more than six months. A wedding ceremony is a ceremony. You can still do a wedding in Nigeria with N500K if you guys are not greedy. So, the argument about the cost of wedding ceremony should not come up when a guy who truly wants to understand you for a few months before marrying you come along. Moreover, marriage is not everything. Many have lost their lives for insisting on it, while many are living happy single lives when there is no one to marry them.
Get rid of this guy right away and focus on yourself.
Five years..? Damn!

Thank you for your advice. Your right, I’ll definitely take it on board

Do what he’s doing to you. Remind him every opportunity you get that you don’t want a relationship. Talk about other guys in his presence. For you to be hurt over his coldness means you like him more than you claim you do.

You are going to get hurt eventually if you continue this way. You are a passenger in your situationship, you need to be a co-driver. How would you feel if he tells you he’s moving on? Hurt? Jealous? Used?

You are better off being with multiple people instead of pretending you don’t like this guy, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak.

Both of you are suffering from emotional imbalance. you hearts and minds are always travelling in parallel lines.

tanyah001:


Did you read what I wrote? Nobody is trying to take anything to the next level

..
why u conn dey complain?

Women are not good at handling rejection, why

I sensed he has scattered your medulla with powerful diickk that’s why you are hurt when he said you should end it, because you claim you don’t love him so what could be your reason of feeling hurt

Both of you aren't in any relationship to begin with and who told you that some sweet pillow talks will get a man to commit.


Women are gatekeepers of sex while Men are gatekeepers of commitment. If you wanted something serious with him, you should'nt have agreed to his terms. You should have find a way to make him invest financially and emotionally in you but what could i say, you were clearly in love with him.

tanyah001:


25 and 26

The odds are not in your favour as it is...... U are already catching feelings but u are in denial....

U will just get more hurt..because he has technically zeroed his mind not to enter any commitments.... Either way...u go dey alright

Focus ur energy in someone else..... he will either get jealous and give u more attention or he will walk away.....

Tunde835:
The guy is seriously redpilled and got you right where he wanted.

The guy is a redpiller and am suspecting luminouz and ballzproblemm

You guys are drunkards

Only children think open relationships will work. Someone will eventually catch feelings and get hurt.

Any relationship not properly defined is on a long thing. The person who loves the most is always the one hurt the most.

tanyah001:
I’ve been dating a guy for 2 months, we both agreed on not wanting a relationship as (I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and he said he had things he needed to work on himself) but I agreed to date him as he said he would be open minded. It’s been very lovely dating him but he suddenly wanted to call it quits because he thinks I might want more in the future and he’s not willing to give me that.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It sounds like a complex situation. Here are a few suggestions on how you might handle it:

It's important to acknowledge your feelings and understand why you're feeling the way you do. It's okay to feel hurt and confused. It seems to me like you've fallen in love but you've denied those feelings.

If he calls back, express your feelings honestly. Let him know that his actions have left you feeling shocked and hurt. Communicate openly about your feelings.

It's important to establish what you're comfortable with in this relationship. If his constant reminders about not wanting a relationship are upsetting you, communicate this to him.

If this relationship is causing you more pain than happiness, it might be worth considering whether it's healthy for you. You deserve a relationship where you feel valued and respected. Life is too short to stay where you feel unappreciated, unhappy and miserable.

Remember, it's important to take care of yourself first. You're the most important person in your life. It's okay to prioritize your feelings and well-being.

Lastly, it is clear you want more but the guy doesn't. He strictly enjoys the knacks without commitment. Almost every guy would prefer free knacks with nothing attached.

Sorry for your experience once again.