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Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by PopQueenAgency: 9:08pm On Jan 10
Wallade:


If the boy chop the money, the sister, my wife, can't come and harass me for a car anymore.

That's her problem, going forward.

Oga, get ready for forgive and forget once e happen. You go hear "E get one guy wey im brother sell im company and e no vex or do am anything. E still buy car last Christmas for dat im brother,"

Then your wife go begin "harass" you again.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by deavicky(m): 9:09pm On Jan 10
EreluRoz:
A teenager calling a married man simp. What faceless forum is causing ehn
will u blame them!!!! Girls have became so cheap in their time.

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Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by deavicky(m): 9:14pm On Jan 10
Freethought:
My wife loves the comfort that comes with a car(i mean, who wouldn't) , she talks about it everytime. Last year, i made some savings and decided to get a car buh unfortunately, with the help of a trusted mechanic, i made a bad buy which i sold at a loss shortly after i bought it.

This morning , my wife told me her younger brother wants to get her a car and she told him she has 1.5 million naira ready (she was asked dou). The guy promised to get the car for her this weekend as long as the 1.5 million is readily available.

Now my issue is, this 1.5 million she told her brother she has is the money i got from the sale of my bad purchased car. The boy did not know the source of the money and probably think his sister actually have 1.5m to add to what he has to get the car.

I really do not know what to do rn cos i know getting the car will make her very happy and i do not want to hinder that, but I'm not really comfortable with the whole arrangement. I really don't know what to do.

The car he wants to get, according to my wife is valued at 5m.

allow him to buy the car and just assume its from her brother to her, you are only supporting the process with ur 1.5m. You can still do more to buy ur own later.

1 Like

Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by Elmuktari(m): 9:16pm On Jan 10
Laugh wan kill me here angry

My only worry is your last paragraph. [/quote]
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by Rhozabeth(m): 9:21pm On Jan 10
I am upset with this writer so much that his story shows he is absolutely not in control of his home! The wife has highjacked the home from him. And believe me, this is the beginning of many nonsense that you will see from your wife!!! Rubbish!
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by Wallade(m): 9:24pm On Jan 10
PopQueenAgency:


Oga, get ready for forgive and forget once e happen. You go hear "E get one guy wey im brother sell im company and e no vex or do am anything. E still buy car last Christmas for dat im brother,"

Then your wife go begin "harass" you again.

Then I have every right to resist the harassment and I will be justified.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by PHAYOL81: 9:38pm On Jan 10
Point is, you're neck-deep in a dilemma and whatever decision you take may result in regret （and this all depends on the type of woman your wife ）is. But one thing is inescapable here,for peace to continue reigning in that household, you must release the money. Although down to me, if I were in your shoe, I will ask her to get the brother's account and then make a few fuss with the TRANSFER （like I get difficulty doing it）to get a chance to chat with the in-law in question where I'll wittingly thank and inform him the money is my contribution for the purchase but also to let him know the car is basically his sister's （as she wants in order not to arouse bad blood in her）by also enlightening that YOU MAY ALSO NEED THE DEALERS CONTACT WHEN YOU ARE READY TO BUY YOURS IN FUTURE （particularly after the purchase and the car looks nice）.
TRY create a little bond between yourself and the brotherv all through the duration of the purchase, be visibly happy for her and after purchase, REMEMBER TO ALWAYS USE THE PUBLIC TRANSPORT EXCEPT SHE ASK YOU OTHERWISE OR EXCEPT WHEN YOU'RE BOTH HEADING TO A COMMON DESTINATION.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by Mom007(f): 9:43pm On Jan 10
okerekingsley90:



If he tries this thing, he is finished like someone said it would bring disrespect as that car would not only belong to him. He should pray work hard and buy his OWN CAR. If he doesn’t have the money should he kill himself? Of course he would buy a car hopefully if he works harder. The wife should be patient

Poor man statement. Always talking about disrespect. Do you know that it is the rich that collect the most loans from the bank? When you begin to hear banks saying they are owed billions in loans, who do you think is owing them? It is pride that will make anyone reject t such an offer. Why are you assuming op is poor or lazy and needs to work harder? The first car he sold for 1.5m, he could not have bought it for less than 3m. You that is talking, do you have 1m in your bank account? Do you think its easy to save millions in this economy that he should mortgage his wife's happiness and his peace of mind because of pride....

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Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by regenerateman(m): 9:52pm On Jan 10
If you are not careful, this woman will kill you.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by PopQueenAgency: 9:54pm On Jan 10
Wallade:


Then I have every right to resist the harassment and I will be justified.

If you love her, e go hard you.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by Wallade(m): 10:22pm On Jan 10
PopQueenAgency:


If you love her, e go hard you.

It wouldn't be hard, even with love.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by kazyhm(m): 10:56pm On Jan 10
Freethought:



Well, this is it, the car i bought that was sold was for me, the 1.5 i got after selling is still for me to save more to buy a car for me(not for my wife), even dou I'm still gon tag it family car, we both using it.

Now if i drop the money. How long before i save again to actually get a car of my own, considering there are other responsibilities, also the he brother will think he got his sister the car, making him have some kinda say on how the car is used... You know humans can be funny.. I know my wife to some extent but the boy is just my in law, I don't know what he's capable of.

Please don't go ahead with this plan

You can't predict a woman (forget that she is your wife)

Besides, between you and your wife who need the car the more ?
Don't allow a third party take a major decision for your family......it is dangerous...

Your wife does not respect you that much......what could be the reason(s) she didn't come out clean to her own brother ?

Who decided the type and model of car to buy for your family ?

Did you have information about this 5m car ?

If you're going ahead, whose name will be on the car document ?

Your peace of mind is responsible for the stability in marriage and family, don't do joint purchase of a supposed family car..........your peace of mind is more valuable that the joy the car will give to your wife.

If you're providing about 90% of the cost of the car.......the situation would have been different.

In fact, for your wife to have claimed ownership of the 1.5m to her brother would have been the deal-breaker for me.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by PopQueenAgency: 11:12pm On Jan 10
Wallade:


It wouldn't be hard, even with love.

Ha! shocked
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by marsup: 11:15pm On Jan 10
Keep your money. If your in-law wants to get a car for his sister as a gift, he should do so without any contribution or he should talk to you directly. Don't belittle yourself.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by jimcaddy(m): 11:17pm On Jan 10
AchrafHakimi:
If you open your mouth and tell him will you die?
This simp dey fear him wife family!! grin


Bloody simp.
which one is Simp Oga. Advice her if you want to advice and stop calling someone simp. Every little thing, simp. Are you just hearing that word for the first time?

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Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by antoniobaresi(m): 11:18pm On Jan 10
First it depends on your relationship with your wife's younger brother. Since you say you're older than he is, you should call him and discuss the issue. If he wants to get his sister a car and he asks how much she has, that question should be directed to you, even of she has her own savings that she wants to give to him. So I think you should talk to the young man and listen to what he wants to say. If he's disrespectful about it, then you will need to take a firm decision otherwise you might lose your respect in your home even if you give your wife the 1.5 million naira. You're in charge of your home, you must apply wisdom otherwise this car issue will cause a whole lot of other issues for you.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by MySolace: 11:45pm On Jan 10
Freethought:
My wife loves the comfort that comes with a car(i mean, who wouldn't) , she talks about it everytime. Last year, i made some savings and decided to get a car buh unfortunately, with the help of a trusted mechanic, i made a bad buy which i sold at a loss shortly after i bought it.

This morning , my wife told me her younger brother wants to get her a car and she told him she has 1.5 million naira ready (she was asked dou). The guy promised to get the car for her this weekend as long as the 1.5 million is readily available.

Now my issue is, this 1.5 million she told her brother she has is the money i got from the sale of my bad purchased car. The boy did not know the source of the money and probably think his sister actually have 1.5m to add to what he has to get the car.

I really do not know what to do rn cos i know getting the car will make her very happy and i do not want to hinder that, but I'm not really comfortable with the whole arrangement. I really don't know what to do.

The car he wants to get, according to my wife is valued at 5m.

Uncle, am seeing ur fear/grumble from certain angle grin grin...

U wanna buy ur wife a car and U're having just 1.5m for it. Ur wife's brother wants to get her a 5milliin naira car while she reimburses him with ur 1.5m...
Ur fear now I, with ur inlaw bringing greater part of d money,(3.5m) ur own contribution now seems insignificant grin... I mean, it can easily be stated dat ur wife's brother bought her a car while U're completely taken out of d picture whereas u have ur contribution in it. grin grin and even, ur inlaw likely won't be knowing da d 1.5m is even coming from u. It even makes things worse.
It's simple dis way, just talk with d so-called brother about it, I mean, u should b in the picture. Dats if u want to continue with such dealings o.
U can aswell cut off from d deal entirely,

Also, I don't know why my mind is telling me ur inlaw has already decided to gift ur wife who is also his sister the car,,, den, ur wife now try to collect the 1.5m from u and pocket. grin grin

...u no dey reason am?....
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by 234GT(m): 11:47pm On Jan 10
Freethought:



Well, this is it, the car i bought that was sold was for me, the 1.5 i got after selling is still for me to save more to buy a car for me(not for my wife), even dou I'm still gon tag it family car, we both using it.

Now if i drop the money. How long before i save again to actually get a car of my own, considering there are other responsibilities, also the he brother will think he got his sister the car, making him have some kinda say on how the car is used... You know humans can be funny.. I know my wife to some extent but the boy is just my in law, I don't know what he's capable of.

If you don't have a car of your own, please don't drop the money o....Whatever happens, hold your 1.5M and keep saving for your own car.....

2 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by ezewealth(m): 12:15am On Jan 11
gidjah:
My dear ,the reverse is the case here, men are wired to die for Thier spouse o,(so it looks like from experience).Men take a lot to please Thier families so when it comes to d car issue just allow him please his wife else it won't be a small war at home trust me. Whenever you see the home sailing smoothly with happiness,pls know that the 99% MUMU IS D MAN.if you are married u should relate with this na , men won't want the nextdoor neighbors to hear d quarrel but madam will prefer that, so she can easily win d case even without going to any court.Whenu hear men die b4 Thier time na plenty thinking and stress/family wahhala management casue most of the matter .initially I tot it has to do with d poor alone but I recently got to understand that it is a national matter both with d rich and poor.Men must keep making sacrifices even if it had to be small MUMU follow !.
My brother, I can never be a mumu for anybody, I make sacrifices for things that worth it, Dem never born woman way go use my head, I thank God for myself, I can smell deceit from far away.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by VIKTO83(m): 3:22am On Jan 11
Oga from what u narrated the money is meant to buy a car for ur wife. Transfer the money to d guy and forget about grammar. Forget about what comes after it.
If u do not havebur own car just hustle and buy one later. U might limit how u use d car when it's finally bought.
There's no bad thing there at all.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by lebienconnu: 6:52am On Jan 11
Assume you are giving the 1.5M T to your wife so it’s actually her money and her car.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by frozen70(f): 7:01am On Jan 11
Freethought:
My wife loves the comfort that comes with a car(i mean, who wouldn't) , she talks about it everytime. Last year, i made some savings and decided to get a car buh unfortunately, with the help of a trusted mechanic, i made a bad buy which i sold at a loss shortly after i bought it.

This morning , my wife told me her younger brother wants to get her a car and she told him she has 1.5 million naira ready (she was asked dou). The guy promised to get the car for her this weekend as long as the 1.5 million is readily available.

Now my issue is, this 1.5 million she told her brother she has is the money i got from the sale of my bad purchased car. The boy did not know the source of the money and probably think his sister actually have 1.5m to add to what he has to get the car.

I really do not know what to do rn cos i know getting the car will make her very happy and i do not want to hinder that, but I'm not really comfortable with the whole arrangement. I really don't know what to do.

The car he wants to get, according to my wife is valued at 5m.

Why not leave them and watch the way things turns out for both of them, since cash is with you not with your wife

Maybe she has some cash in her account which you don't know
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by Clinghton: 7:22am On Jan 11
You should be able to make the decision on if
car is what you guys need.

If your wife's brother helps you to buy the car won't it cause ownership issues.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by okerekingsley90: 7:34am On Jan 11
[quote author=Mom007 post=127880800]

Poor man statement. Always talking about disrespect. Do you know that it is the rich that collect the most loans from the bank? When you begin to hear banks saying they are owed billions in loans, who do you think is owing them? It is pride that will make anyone reject t such an offer. Why are you assuming op is poor or lazy and needs to work harder? The first car he sold for 1.5m, he could not have bought it for less than 3m. You that is talking, do you have 1m in your bank account? Do you think it’s easy to save millions in this economy that he should mortgage his wife's happiness and his peace of mind because of pride....[/

We think different and would have opinions that vary. My context here is the “woman” she knows her husband bought a car and made a loss when he sold the car initially bought. Why the hurry and anxiety over a new one. She should be understanding that’s all am saying please.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by sexysailor23(m): 7:38am On Jan 11
AchrafHakimi:
If you open your mouth and tell him will you die?
This simp dey fear him wife family!! grin


Bloody simp.
is like u learn this ur simp newly
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by Obierika(m): 7:43am On Jan 11
Freethought:


Well, i can boldly say, none of what's in your first paragraph is the case. The boy is comfortable to some extent and i believe i know my wife to some extent.

My only worry is your last paragraph.

i think your wife should have consulted you before going into this arrangement
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by ford101: 7:43am On Jan 11
advanceDNA:



What happened to a 3.5M car if he actually wants to buy a car for his sister?? Why must it be 5M naira car...... Either ur wife wants to run u marital street or the brother wants to run ur wife//you confirm street..

Wateva the case is ...u won't like the outcome after u drop the money grin
I can't sale you my 07 corolla at 3.2m cos its over clean and the engine is still 90% clean and good cos I don't really drive it so check how much a tokumbo corolla 07 will cost now around 4.8m mind you u must fix somethings when you buy any car that's not brand new. Be it bulbs or tie etc.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by ford101: 7:50am On Jan 11
advanceDNA:


U say wetin??
Must it be a big car ..
What happened to small Toyota..big daddy nor be car....?? EOD nor be car?? Discussion continue nor be car??

Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by advanceDNA: 8:01am On Jan 11
ford101:

..

Na story be this ...there are greedy dealers everywhere...Corolla is way less than this
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by advanceDNA: 8:01am On Jan 11
ford101:
I can't sale you my 07 corolla at 3.2m cos its over clean and the engine is still 90% clean and good cos I don't really drive it so check how much a tokumbo corolla 07 will cost now around 4.8m mind you u must fix somethings when you buy any car that's not brand new. Be it bulbs or tie etc.

Who be this??
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by gidjah(m): 8:11am On Jan 11
Ahahahahaha bros ooo u be clown wallahi !! May we never jam bad relationship or wife Sir,u won't enjoy life at all . particularly for most of us here who are quote on d religious side (no divorce) hmmm we just move and sail even on the tides of the waves.How many women u want to divorce say because they aren't behaving well?even d society will label u names o.
ezewealth:

My brother, I can never be a mumu for anybody, I make sacrifices for things that worth it, Dem never born woman way go use my head, I thank God for myself, I can smell deceit from far away.
Re: Please How Do I Handle This With My Wife And Her Brother. by advanceDNA: 8:13am On Jan 11
ford101:
...
U just went online to look for one greedy dealers advert...oya below is a very popular dealer on nairaland.....

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