obesse:

No problem. When the time comes you will understand

Read the op post again, it has nothing to do with when the time comes.

The mum was not even staying with them, they were with their dad.
Is that you guy can't comprehend things?

Akhaz024:
■ Don't let the past steal your present. You are still judging thing base on the past like seriously you are not the only one into this.
I was in University my dad sent little fund I was very angry at him because I knew he was capable to some extent. There was a particular time I was scared of failing I didn't know what happened to me I just called him, he thought I wanted to ask for money and I told him to pray for me that I am scared of failing it was very emotional since then he started calling me and asked about my school life.
■ What measure have you taken. How often have you called him on phone. Anyone can change.

Did you bother reading OP'S story at all before commenting?

2. Wow.... there seems to be some serious issue of disconnect going on here.

Kobojunkie:
Sit a parent who damaged his own child down to ask what? Why did you damage my childhood? Or to tell him how his actions severely damaged you? Are you folks for real?

Yeah very real. You have 3 options, talk to him say what's on your mind, talk to a therapist or hang yourself choose one.

My guy thank God ur Dad is still alive.
i'll advice you to budget some amount of money then you will decide either to invite he 1week or 1month to ur house feed him, cloth him, call doctor to care,take he out to any cool joint etc. the rest is a story.YOUR HIS PRODUCT.

Ezzymadu:
My guy thank God ur Dad is still alive.
i'll advice you to budget some amount of money then you will decide either to invite he 1week or 1month to ur house feed him, cloth him, call doctor to care,take he out to any cool joint etc. the rest is a story.YOUR HIS PRODUCT.

Sorry sir, I was reading the comments till I saw yours.

What do you mean his product?

Blakjewelry:
■ Yeah very real. You have 3 options, talk to him say what's on your mind, talk to a therapist or hang yourself choose one.

A Confrontation is almost always considered a last resort and for good reason. OP'S father seems, from the story, seems content with the way he raised his kids. Op confronting him might only make things worse for OP -- open up old wounds and maybe even create new ones..

Kobojunkie:
Did you bother reading OP'S story at all before commenting?

2. Wow.... there seems to be some serious issue of disconnect going on here.

I read everything
Irrespective of what his father has done he should honor him.

And please don't reply me, I am only talking to Op, I am only talking to OP he is the only that should reply me please.

CarlosTheJackal:
Seun mynd.44 n.lpfmod rule 2 things like this are not needed here

Learn to mind your business Nzale Ode

Akhaz024:



Don't let the past steal your present. You are still judging thing base on the past like seriously you are not the only one into this.

I was in University my dad sent little fund I was very angry at him because I knew he was capable to some extent. There was a particular time I was scared of failing I didn't know what happened to me I just called him, he thought I wanted to ask for money and I told him to pray for me that I am scared of failing it was very emotional since then he started calling me and asked about my school life.

What measure have you taken. How often have you called him on phone. Anyone can change.

Oga I don't care if as I don't have any reason. Bro.


Let the man enjoy his life, while I do mine

Atleast whenever he needs money and he calls, I do send to him.

I get my life to face..

Akhaz024:


I read everything
Irrespective of what his father has done he should honor him.

And please don't reply me, I am only talking to Op, I am only talking to OP he is the only that should reply me please.

What does it mean to. Honor one's father?

I never said I was dishonouring him.

I just feel bad abt the past and he cud have done better.

Ezzymadu:
My guy thank God ur Dad is still alive.
i'll advice you to budget some amount of money then you will decide either to invite he 1week or 1month to ur house feed him, cloth him, call doctor to care,take he out to any cool joint etc. the rest is a story.YOUR HIS PRODUCT.

Joker... I will rather do that for my mom and my younger brother than my dad..
Those are the people that helped me really in life..

Maybe when I marry, I fit invite am come my house..

Where the money sef

udemzyudex:


Read the op post again, it has nothing to do with when the time comes.

The mum was not even staying with them, they were with their dad.
Is that you guy can't comprehend things?

They don't read to understand

You better be there for your own son or wife too or else nemesis will hunt you down when you born ... nonsense pikin

You don't need to spend more time with your dad, maintain the distance. Sending him money from time to time is enough forgiveness. Avoid him to an extent, since being close to him makes you recall the past. He has many other children from other wives, so what's the fuss about?

Chassy03:
■ You better be there for your own son or wife too or else nemesis will hunt you down when you born ... nonsense pikin

Nemesis only hunts those who choose to repeat the mistakes of the past.
You can't be a nonsense parent yet expect your children not to count that nonsense you are against you. It's only wicked individuals who expect to reap where they did not sow.

Mercylike:


No curse will stand without a course

On what basis will he curse me for?

Enlighten me... So sending money to him is not love, I shud go and pack my load and stay with him àbi

Read your bible using Google search( possibly curses of a father in the Bible) ; inasmuch as he's your dad (blood) do everything to placate him even if superficial. May be you're seeking validation of your dispositions toward your dad.

Mercylike:
Growing up with my family, I grew up not liking my dad but liking my mother so much that I can go to the extreme for her. It all started like this;

While we were growing, my dad having like 2 wives never really cared about us. Not even our steps siblings who are older than us. Their own even worse, they struggled and worked hard to get what the want with little or no help from our dad. Except for 1 or 2 out of 7 of them, the rest stopped at secondary school (public). My dad had no intention of being responsible for them.

Back to myself and my brother which are the only kids my mom gave my dad, he never still feels responsible.

Throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary years, I can't pinpoint one time that my dad bought sandal, cloth or anything for us. The only drug my dad has ever bought for us when we are seriously sick is paracetamol, even if we have serious sickness, he doesn't care. All he does is to call my mother to come take care of us (my mother doesn't stay fully with us because it won't even be convenient in such house with step mom but whenever she comes, she could spend a week).

Infact he was un-interested in sending us to school but thanks to my MOTHER. Though she didn't read well as she stopped as primary 5 or so but she said that she vow that she will train her children to school if they are ready to learn. Myself and my bro were ready to learn and my mom entered debts just to make sure we go to school. I could remember giving up when I gained admission, my dad already told us that he didn't send us to go to school ooo. I didn't know how my mother did it, she came home and gave me the acceptance fee and school fees with some other money. ( I cried before and after the incident, I don't know how this woman got this money but I'm sure she took loan).

Sometimes our step mom gets jealous thinking it was my dad that was doing those efforts for us but never did she know that all was my mom. I won't deny, dad contributed little but it was by force, begging his friends to plead to him to pay part of our school fee and all. But he is always boisterous of the fact that his sons are in school and all which angers me to see him boast with me especially.

Till now, I still don't feel responsible for my dad well-being. I have tried adjusting myself to loving him well but I can't. I just like him and respect him as a father but for my mom, I will do anything for her. I will go hungry for her, I will starve for her.

Nairalanders, it's being like 3 or 4 years I went to see my dad even though his place is not too far from me. He has been calling me several times that he wants to see me but I have always told him that I don't have time.

My problem is, my dad has never changed.. He is always concerned about himself, all he ask is money. He hardly calls to check up, except when he need money.
Since I started working, I have never defaulted in sending him money every month but I send my mother 3 times or even 4 times what I send my dad. After all, he has our step brothers and sisters he can always ask for money. So I don't really care about him.

One statement he usually makes since we were small "Go and meet your mother". He doesn't feel responsible for our needs, all na our mother.
Though he gives us daily feeding while we were growing and living under him but thanks to my mother that pays food vendors around to give us food whenever we are hungry because my dad doesn't give us enough.


Many stories but I can't say all...

Nairalanders, I still feel guilty as to why I don't like him. It feels like I have not forgiven him but to be honest, I have no issue with him.

How can I free myself from this guilt?

Bitterness will lead you to depression and Yiu will either have stroke or commit suicide


Why are you bitter towards your father...return hate with love ...love him ,forgive him and make life simpler

treatise:
■ Read your bible using Google search( possibly curses of a father in the Bible) ;
■ inasmuch as he's your dad (blood) do everything to placate him even if superficial. May be you're seeking validation of your dispositions toward your dad.

If you yourself bothered reading the same bible, you would have learned that there are no such things as curses of a father or mother. The only one with power to bless or curse in that book is God Himself. All others simply said words that had no meaning or power to them except for the power given the words by those who heard them.

2. If Op had instead complained of his mum being the deadbeat in this case, would you have equally asked him to placate her?

Mercylike:


No curse will stand without a course

On what basis will he curse me for?

Enlighten me... So sending money to him is not love, I shud go and pack my load and stay with him àbi

your name is Mercy so act merciful ...don't be a disgrace

How do you people live with bittermess and unforgiving for years


Una dey try ...Na only witch fit do that

Kobojunkie:
A Confrontation is almost always considered a last resort and for good reason. OP'S father seems, from the story, seems content with the way he raised his kids. Op confronting him might only make things worse for OP -- open up old wounds and maybe even create new ones..

Op is still carrying a grudge and it is killing him from the inside, it is better you face your demon once and for all. I am not saying he ask the old to change, let him know he Bleep up big time, pour out the shit he wish he could tell him.

CandidAdmin:

Sorry sir, I was reading the comments till I saw yours.
What do you mean his product?

Don't be scare of d word product what i means is ur father.

obesse:

Don't be in a rush. The time will come when you will understand life. We live life moving forward, but we can only understand it backwards!
Cheers!

They don't understand. It's only those who've lost their fathers that'll understand where you're coming from.

Blakjewelry:
■ Op is still carrying a grudge and it is killing him from the inside, it is better you face your demon once and for all. I am not saying he ask the old to change, let him know he Bleep up big time, pour out the shit he wish he could tell him.

The demon is not his dad but rather the twisted idea that he has to, against his will, love or like his father. That has nothing to do with the man who seems OK with himself as is. I think asking OP to confront the man --- Op is an adult at that --- is tantamount to suggesting Op should impose on the man his idea of what a father ought to be.

There's nothing to feel guilty at all..
The only thing u owe him is a befitting burial..That's if u want to..

Take good care of ur mom pls..

She is the only reason u are productive to the society..Imagine, if u never had the opportunity of going to school?..How life would hv been?.

Lesson to men.

Love and care for ur kids...U never can tell which one would look at ur face at old age..Kids doesn't forget who was there when they needed them the most.

Mother's love can never be unmatched!!!!

Chassy03:
You better be there for your own son or wife too or else nemesis will hunt you down when you born ... I be nonsense pikin

Fixed for you

ariesbull:


Bitterness will lead me and my unborn kids to depression and they will either have stroke or commit suicide


Why are you bitter towards your father...return hate with love ...love him ,forgive him and make life simpler

Amen for you

ariesbull:
your name is Mercy so act merciful ...don't be a disgrace

How do you people live with bittermess and unforgiving for years


Una dey try ...Na only witch fit do that

Yen yen yen.... Tell me. How wicked I am pls

Mercylike:


Yen yen yen.... Tell me. How wicked I am pls

you can't live with unforgiviness for years and still be okay ...that's wickedness

COOL10:



They don't understand. It's only those who've lost their fathers that'll understand where you're coming from.

Even if I don't have a father. Notin will shake me.


But a mother is wat I can't afford to lose...

Deal with it

Chinny024:
There's nothing to feel guilty at all..
The only thing u owe him is a befitting burial..That's if u want to..

Take good care of ur mom pls..

She is the only reason u are productive to the society..Imagine, if u never had the opportunity of going to school?..How life would hv been?.

Lesson to men.

Love and care for ur kids...U never can tell which one would look at ur face at old age..Kids doesn't forget who was there when they needed them the most.

Mother's love can never be unmatched!!!!

I can't spend my saving to give the dead any expensive burial. I am still hustling and won't even commit 50% if my savings for burial anytin. We go just do small prayer and do it low key when his time reaches.. But i hope not now as I want him to carry my grand kids

If not for my mum effort and God, I for dey go hopeless and probably useless for street.

My younger brother sponsored his own self to school as my dad didn't care abt him....

These people don't know what it feels like

ariesbull:
you can't live with unforgiviness for years and still be okay ...that's wickedness

.
Unforgiveness is sending him money àbi..

Say another thing abeg