Mercylike:
.
Unforgiveness is sending him money àbi..

Say another thing abeg

madam you are too obstinate for my liking

Suit yourself...I am done with this convo

ariesbull:
madam you are too obstinate for my likingSuit yourself...I am done with this convo

Go get a life abeg and stop trying to guilt others into what you probably would never do yourself.

Thanks to pastors, all Nigerians are become motivational speakers odi yet wickedness remains at an all-time high no thanks to them.

Kobojunkie:
Go get a life abeg and stop trying to guilt others into what you probably would never do yourself.

Thanks to pastors, all Nigerians are become motivational speakers odi yet wickedness remains at an all-time high no thanks to them.

Your case seff get as e be

ariesbull:
■ Your case seff get as e be

Na your kind full nairaland, na that be the problem.

Mercylike:
Growing up with my family, I grew up not liking my dad but liking my mother so much that I can go to the extreme for her. It all started like this;

While we were growing, my dad having like 2 wives never really cared about us. Not even our steps siblings who are older than us. Their own even worse, they struggled and worked hard to get what the want with little or no help from our dad. Except for 1 or 2 out of 7 of them, the rest stopped at secondary school (public). My dad had no intention of being responsible for them.

Back to myself and my brother which are the only kids my mom gave my dad, he never still feels responsible.

Throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary years, I can't pinpoint one time that my dad bought sandal, cloth or anything for us. The only drug my dad has ever bought for us when we are seriously sick is paracetamol, even if we have serious sickness, he doesn't care. All he does is to call my mother to come take care of us (my mother doesn't stay fully with us because it won't even be convenient in such house with step mom but whenever she comes, she could spend a week).

Infact he was un-interested in sending us to school but thanks to my MOTHER. Though she didn't read well as she stopped as primary 5 or so but she said that she vow that she will train her children to school if they are ready to learn. Myself and my bro were ready to learn and my mom entered debts just to make sure we go to school. I could remember giving up when I gained admission, my dad already told us that he didn't send us to go to school ooo. I didn't know how my mother did it, she came home and gave me the acceptance fee and school fees with some other money. ( I cried before and after the incident, I don't know how this woman got this money but I'm sure she took loan).

Sometimes our step mom gets jealous thinking it was my dad that was doing those efforts for us but never did she know that all was my mom. I won't deny, dad contributed little but it was by force, begging his friends to plead to him to pay part of our school fee and all. But he is always boisterous of the fact that his sons are in school and all which angers me to see him boast with me especially.

Till now, I still don't feel responsible for my dad well-being. I have tried adjusting myself to loving him well but I can't. I just like him and respect him as a father but for my mom, I will do anything for her. I will go hungry for her, I will starve for her.

Nairalanders, it's being like 3 or 4 years I went to see my dad even though his place is not too far from me. He has been calling me several times that he wants to see me but I have always told him that I don't have time.

My problem is, my dad has never changed.. He is always concerned about himself, all he ask is money. He hardly calls to check up, except when he need money.
Since I started working, I have never defaulted in sending him money every month but I send my mother 3 times or even 4 times what I send my dad. After all, he has our step brothers and sisters he can always ask for money. So I don't really care about him.

One statement he usually makes since we were small "Go and meet your mother". He doesn't feel responsible for our needs, all na our mother.
Though he gives us daily feeding while we were growing and living under him but thanks to my mother that pays food vendors around to give us food whenever we are hungry because my dad doesn't give us enough.


Many stories but I can't say all...

Nairalanders, I still feel guilty as to why I don't like him. It feels like I have not forgiven him but to be honest, I have no issue with him.

How can I free myself from this guilt?

I sympathise with you on your experience. Forgiving him doesn't mean that you give him everything he asks or that you have to like him. Only give what you can. It is good that you do somethings for him.

Ezzymadu:
My guy thank God ur Dad is still alive.
i'll advice you to budget some amount of money then you will decide either to invite he 1week or 1month to ur house feed him, cloth him, call doctor to care,take he out to any cool joint etc. the rest is a story.YOUR HIS PRODUCT.

No the person isn't his product. The OP is his child. The father is still failing in his duties.

abuhusna1:

Sometimes fathers do things coded without informing anyone but mothers. They will let you know who did what. If you check deep down you will discover your father was instrumental to your success. He gave you shelter, security and food, moreso he made you know how to be man by not giving you everything

The father failed in his duties. This child succeeded in spite of the disadvantage the father gave him. It is one thing if the father didn't have.

Mercylike:


Joker... I will rather do that for my mom and my younger brother than my dad..
Those are the people that helped me really in life..

Maybe when I marry, I fit invite am come my house..

Where the money sef

Parents has rights and responsibilities over their children, he not playing his responsibility does not mean you should deny him of his rights honoring your parents means you didn't deny him of his rights. His rights are he needs your attention, love, protection, prayers, mercy, kindness.

*How Can You Honor Parents When You Feel They Don’t Deserve It?*

*1. Forgive their transgressions* .
When people commit a transgression, they essentially owe you a debt. In most cases, it’s a debt they cannot pay. Forgiveness means that you choose to wipe away the debt they owe.

*2. Extend mercy.*


*3. Appreciate the good things.*
Everyone on this earth has redeeming qualities. Try to think of as many as you can for your mother or father. What positive physical attributes did this parent pass to you? What about personality traits? Instead of dwelling on bad memories or scars, consider how God has used this parent to make you the person you are today.

*4. Do something as an act of kindness.*
Send flowers for no special reason, or call the parent on the phone just to catch up. Use a special skill that you have to meet a need, such as, paint the bathroom, fix the car, or mow the lawn.

*5. Choose to speak kindly of them.*
Always speak of your parents in high esteem irrespective of what they have done.


*6. Teach your children to honor and extend mercy to their grandparents.*
Just as you should honor your parents, your children should honor their grandparents.

*7. Pray for the parent who mistreated*

*8. Keep your parents* connected with your family.
When relationships are strained, it’s easy to become isolated. Unfortunately, isolation prevents healing and often creates even more awkwardness.

I have come to realize from comments on various posts on Nairaland and off social media that a lot of Nigerian fathers are deadbeat. Even fathers in this present generation. This explains why they’re quick to give excuses for irresponsible behaviour and then somehow shift the blame on the mothers.
If someone comes on social media to share what happened to them in their own home growing up, who are you to insist their mother was instigating them? Do you know how horrible some fathers are? Do you know people have their personal stories that you cannot understand because you’re not in their shoes?
Do not ridicule people’s life experiences because you have no idea what their journey has been like. You might have had a perfect father, good for you but give people a chance to share their own experiences as it applied to them without trying to help them change their story. After all, you weren’t there and it’s not your story to tell.
You know one or two colleagues, neighbors, relatives, adversaries etc whom you’ll never want to have anything to do with. Yes, these same people are people’s fathers and yes, they might be just as terrible to their children.

Manipulative power of woman at work. Truth will unfold with time. By then it may be too late.

Mercylike:
Growing up with my family, I grew up not liking my dad but liking my mother so much that I can go to the extreme for her. It all started like this;

While we were growing, my dad having like 2 wives never really cared about us. Not even our steps siblings who are older than us. Their own even worse, they struggled and worked hard to get what the want with little or no help from our dad. Except for 1 or 2 out of 7 of them, the rest stopped at secondary school (public). My dad had no intention of being responsible for them.

Back to myself and my brother which are the only kids my mom gave my dad, he never still feels responsible.

Throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary years, I can't pinpoint one time that my dad bought sandal, cloth or anything for us. The only drug my dad has ever bought for us when we are seriously sick is paracetamol, even if we have serious sickness, he doesn't care. All he does is to call my mother to come take care of us (my mother doesn't stay fully with us because it won't even be convenient in such house with step mom but whenever she comes, she could spend a week).

Infact he was un-interested in sending us to school but thanks to my MOTHER. Though she didn't read well as she stopped as primary 5 or so but she said that she vow that she will train her children to school if they are ready to learn. Myself and my bro were ready to learn and my mom entered debts just to make sure we go to school. I could remember giving up when I gained admission, my dad already told us that he didn't send us to go to school ooo. I didn't know how my mother did it, she came home and gave me the acceptance fee and school fees with some other money. ( I cried before and after the incident, I don't know how this woman got this money but I'm sure she took loan).

Sometimes our step mom gets jealous thinking it was my dad that was doing those efforts for us but never did she know that all was my mom. I won't deny, dad contributed little but it was by force, begging his friends to plead to him to pay part of our school fee and all. But he is always boisterous of the fact that his sons are in school and all which angers me to see him boast with me especially.

Till now, I still don't feel responsible for my dad well-being. I have tried adjusting myself to loving him well but I can't. I just like him and respect him as a father but for my mom, I will do anything for her. I will go hungry for her, I will starve for her.

Nairalanders, it's being like 3 or 4 years I went to see my dad even though his place is not too far from me. He has been calling me several times that he wants to see me but I have always told him that I don't have time.

My problem is, my dad has never changed.. He is always concerned about himself, all he ask is money. He hardly calls to check up, except when he need money.
Since I started working, I have never defaulted in sending him money every month but I send my mother 3 times or even 4 times what I send my dad. After all, he has our step brothers and sisters he can always ask for money. So I don't really care about him.

One statement he usually makes since we were small "Go and meet your mother". He doesn't feel responsible for our needs, all na our mother.
Though he gives us daily feeding while we were growing and living under him but thanks to my mother that pays food vendors around to give us food whenever we are hungry because my dad doesn't give us enough.


Many stories but I can't say all...

Nairalanders, I still feel guilty as to why I don't like him. It feels like I have not forgiven him but to be honest, I have no issue with him.

How can I free myself from this guilt?

you are justified to feel this way. Your feelings are valid. Honestly you should just be the karma that deals with him. It is not by force to like him because he didn't invest in you financially, physically and emotionally. Your mother was a married single mum as far as I am concerned.

Tell him your true feelings empty it out of your chest the nexttime he dares to ask you for money. Tell him to meet the many wives he has to assist him. Tell him that he wasted his youth in women, bad habits and beer parlor and what does he have to show for it?

It's the backwards African mentality that is making you feel guilt allowing your dad to guilt trip you to reap where he sowed poorly. Continue doing the bare minimum for him that you think you can. Just enough to keep him alive.

When I think about men like your dad. I just get angry. As the eldest child, I saw what both my parents sacrificed to train my siblings and I to adulthood.

Akhaz024:


I read everything
Irrespective of what his father has done he should honor him.

And please don't reply me, I am only talking to Op, I am only talking to OP he is the only that should reply me please.

Thunder fire you and your honor there!!


Honor is for diligent men, not infidels.

Fearcom:


Honour your Father and your Mother, that it may BE WELL WITH YOU and that you may LIVE LONG on the earth.
It doesn't say honour your father and your mother only if they have done their duty.

The same Bible in Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” where did Op's father do that?

while Colossians 3:21 reiterates “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

The father has completely discouraged op, if he dies in a dishonorable way, he had it coming

There are many men like that but thank God for the love of a mother which is the closest to love of christ, my mom raised me and my brothers herself while father was doing his own thing but I still love him. Talk to him , forgive him and be at peace with yourself, if you don't do it and he dies, you will feel worst than this and you will regret not letting go

Fearcom:


Honour your Father and your Mother, that it may BE WELL WITH YOU and that you may LIVE LONG on the earth.
It doesn't say honour your father and your mother only if they have done their duty.

Go back and read what that same portion talked about parents in respect to the children wellbeing.

@op, I pray you find peace and healing. Most African fathers are like your dad. Is pathetic

Mercylike:


I don't think there is anytin to seat an old man and talk about..

I still do what I do for him like sending him money monthly.... I don't think there is sumtin else I need from him.


Dad attend party buys aṣọ ebi but never deem it fit to ever buy us clothes or shoes to wear. Never ever did..

Only mom will wear rag so that we can wear good thing. Story plenty

There is an age you get to as a child, your father or mom becomes like a very close friend. The difference btw him and others den becomes just the respect you accord but can't afford others.
Pay him a visit or better still, pay him a visit and let your mom be there as well. Preinform there is a matter to be discussed.
And then, table your restlessness you have been having. Tell him you want to know why things were the way they were then. If he doesn't explain. Greet him and walk away but still send him money. This way, you have aired your mind even if you didn't get any helpful answers.
But I believe he will explain things out, good or bad and be cautious as with your mother, you best know her personality and how her mouth might work in such situations.
SOMETIMES, mothers are the cause of why fathers behave the way they did, though not a valid excuse. But not wanting to go dark so it doesn't look like they are visiting the sins of the mother on the children, the father will just do some of his duties, but not all.
And these doesn't mean we still don't have irresponsible fathers who don't just give a damn.
And lastly, see it this way, some things are put in this life for us to learn from and so not make same mistake. There are certain actions by people we shouldn't be criticising.e.g Peter denying Jesus.
Sometimes I think they were meant to happen just the way they happened. What is most important is how we/they react to such actions afterwards.
In all, learn from your dad's supposed mistakes and be a better father than he is.
Am from a polygamous home. I understand your plight even though my dad is the exact opposite of yours. My father had his own demons he battled with. Such will be the life of every father. God help us all cos we aren't taught or trained to be fathers. We learn from our society and apply what we "think" best work for our immediate family.

Mercylike:
Growing up with my family, I grew up not liking my dad but liking my mother so much that I can go to the extreme for her. It all started like this;

While we were growing, my dad having like 2 wives never really cared about us. Not even our steps siblings who are older than us. Their own even worse, they struggled and worked hard to get what the want with little or no help from our dad. Except for 1 or 2 out of 7 of them, the rest stopped at secondary school (public). My dad had no intention of being responsible for them.

Back to myself and my brother which are the only kids my mom gave my dad, he never still feels responsible.

Throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary years, I can't pinpoint one time that my dad bought sandal, cloth or anything for us. The only drug my dad has ever bought for us when we are seriously sick is paracetamol, even if we have serious sickness, he doesn't care. All he does is to call my mother to come take care of us (my mother doesn't stay fully with us because it won't even be convenient in such house with step mom but whenever she comes, she could spend a week).

Infact he was un-interested in sending us to school but thanks to my MOTHER. Though she didn't read well as she stopped as primary 5 or so but she said that she vow that she will train her children to school if they are ready to learn. Myself and my bro were ready to learn and my mom entered debts just to make sure we go to school. I could remember giving up when I gained admission, my dad already told us that he didn't send us to go to school ooo. I didn't know how my mother did it, she came home and gave me the acceptance fee and school fees with some other money. ( I cried before and after the incident, I don't know how this woman got this money but I'm sure she took loan).

Sometimes our step mom gets jealous thinking it was my dad that was doing those efforts for us but never did she know that all was my mom. I won't deny, dad contributed little but it was by force, begging his friends to plead to him to pay part of our school fee and all. But he is always boisterous of the fact that his sons are in school and all which angers me to see him boast with me especially.

Till now, I still don't feel responsible for my dad well-being. I have tried adjusting myself to loving him well but I can't. I just like him and respect him as a father but for my mom, I will do anything for her. I will go hungry for her, I will starve for her.

Nairalanders, it's being like 3 or 4 years I went to see my dad even though his place is not too far from me. He has been calling me several times that he wants to see me but I have always told him that I don't have time.

My problem is, my dad has never changed.. He is always concerned about himself, all he ask is money. He hardly calls to check up, except when he need money.
Since I started working, I have never defaulted in sending him money every month but I send my mother 3 times or even 4 times what I send my dad. After all, he has our step brothers and sisters he can always ask for money. So I don't really care about him.

One statement he usually makes since we were small "Go and meet your mother". He doesn't feel responsible for our needs, all na our mother.
Though he gives us daily feeding while we were growing and living under him but thanks to my mother that pays food vendors around to give us food whenever we are hungry because my dad doesn't give us enough.


Many stories but I can't say all...

Nairalanders, I still feel guilty as to why I don't like him. It feels like I have not forgiven him but to be honest, I have no issue with him.

How can I free myself from this guilt?

We're on the same table bro, i never liked my Dad till he passed away in 2022.... It was because of the same I don't care attitude nothing more, that me and my siblings went to school was because of my mum's pressure and persistency on him from when we were still kids⚠️

But now he's gone, sometimes i do miss him shaaa😪

So OP you don't have to like him, you just need to be more friendly with him and do the things you can do for him as a father now you have still got him.

He will not hang around for EVER!!!

tochez24:
■ We're on the same table bro, i never liked my Dad till he passed away in 2022.... It was because of the same I don't care attitude nothing more, that me and my siblings went to school was because of my mum's pressure and persistency on him from when we were still kids⚠️
But now he's gone, sometimes i do miss him shaaa😪
So OP you don't have to like him, you just need to be more friendly with him and do the things you can do for him as a father now you have still got him. He will not hang around for EVER!!!

We are humans and we sometimes miss those we never liked. The world even misses Hitler that is why there are books and documentaries, even movies about it. But when you start twisting that emotion in ways you shouldn't then there is a problem.

You admit you never liked him. So your missing him is probably not because there of him you desire to have back in your life, but rather that that the space he occupied in your life, though not well, is now completely empty and you feel at least that.

Let's try to be honest about our own feelings at least --- develop emotional intelligence---- so we don't blindly spread misinformation.

Kobojunkie:
We are humans and we sometimes miss those we never liked. The world even misses Hitler that is why there are books and documentaries, even movies about it. But when you start twisting that emotion in ways you shouldn't then there is a problem.

You admit you never liked him. So your missing him is probably not because there of him you desire to have back in your life, but rather that that the space he occupied in your life, though not well, is now completely empty and you feel at least that.

Let's try to be honest about our own feelings at least --- develop emotional intelligence---- so we don't blindly spread misinformation.

You must be a MAD person ⚠️

tochez24:
■ You must be a MAD person ⚠️

You are the mad one. You admit to never liking a person but now want us to believe death has made you develop warm feelings regarding the same individual. It is as if you are attempting to have us believe that death changed that person. If that ain't mad, what is?

Kobojunkie:
You are the mad one. You admit to never liking a person but now want us to believe death has made you develop warm feelings regarding the same individual. It is as if you are attempting to have us believe that death changed that person. If that ain't mad, what is?

You're truly a junkie as your name implies😆

Well what i meant by 'missing him' was missing the father figure and not that i developed feelings for him or whatever that is going on in that cracked brains of yours⚠️

So please let me be oooo

tochez24:
■ You're truly a junkie as your name implies😆
Well what i meant by 'missing him' was missing the father figure and not that i developed feelings for him or whatever is going on in that cracked brains of yours⚠️ So please let me be oooo

But this is the same explanation which you qualified as MAD earlier?

tochez24:


You're truly a junkie as your name implies😆

Well what i meant by 'missing him' was missing the father figure and not that i developed feelings for him or whatever that is going on in that cracked brains of yours⚠️

So please let me be oooo

He was a deadbeat, now the deadbeat is dead. Death cannot change his deadbeat status in your life. Let the deadbeat rest in peace in deadbeat afterlife.

FFIA:
■ He was a deadbeat, now the deadbeat is dead. Death cannot change his deadbeat status in your life. Let the deadbeat rest in peace in deadbeat afterlife.

Ow...Lol.... no mind am.

We too like to dey romanticise the most absurd of things in Nigeria.

Kobojunkie:
Ow...Lol.... no mind am.

We too like to dey romanticise the most absurd of things in Nigeria.

For the first time in donkey years you post without using this => emoji.

Wetin happen this night?
Abi you empty your balls today?

Mercylike:


Even if I don't have a father. Notin will shake me.


But a mother is wat I can't afford to lose...

Deal with it

Look at this one. Deal with what? 😆


You're the one with daddy issues, not me. You're the one whining all over the thread like a spoilt, hurt, little brat. You're obviously the one who has a lot to deal with. 😄


I initially didn't want to quote you, because I didn't deem it important to do so, but since you decided to be foolish enough to quote my reply to someone else's comment, now, I'm not going to restrain myself from telling you the cold, hard truth.


You think you're mean, right? You think your father deserves the harsh treatment that you give him. Clap for yourself; you're doing well 👏.


I laugh at your stupidity 😄. You know absolutely nothing.


If you think that I'm going to tell you to change, then you're wrong. Keep on treating him badly, you hear? As a matter of fact, I advice that you triple your efforts.


You may be blind right now, but one day, your eyes shall open and you'll see what you've done to yourself.


One day, you'll wake up to realise that you've turned into the very person you hate. All your efforts to be different from him, gone just like that, and by that time, it may be too late to do anything about it.


I feel sorry for you, I really do. You'll never know what a father's love feels like, but that serves you right, because you're not deserving of one.

COOL10:




Look at this one. Deal with what? 😆


You're the one with daddy issues, not me. You're the one whining all over the thread like a spoilt, hurt, little brat. You're obviously the one who has a lot to deal with. 😄


I initially didn't want to quote you, because I didn't deem it important to do so, but since you decided to be foolish enough to quote my reply to someone else's comment, now, I'm not going to restrain myself from telling you the cold, hard truth.


You think you're mean, right? You think your father deserves the harsh treatment that you give him. Clap for yourself; you're doing well 👏.


I laugh at your stupidity 😄. You know absolutely nothing.


If you think that I'm going to tell you to change, then you're wrong. Keep on treating him badly, you hear? As a matter of fact, I advice that you triple your efforts.


You may be blind right now, but one day, your eyes shall open and you'll see what you've done to yourself.


One day, you'll wake up to realise that you've turned into the very person you hate. All your efforts to be different from him, gone just like that, and by that time, it may be too late to do anything about it.


I feel sorry for you, I really do. You'll never know what a father's love feels like, but that serves you right, because you're not deserving of one.

Cry baby....

But we the children deserve the harsh treatment he gave us all right?

Trashy comment... I don't even want father love, what is the essence of father love I didn't get when I was small, ńa when I don dey feed myself I kon need father love?

Iranu

edward1106:


There is an age you get to as a child, your father or mom becomes like a very close friend. The difference btw him and others den becomes just the respect you accord but can't afford others.
Pay him a visit or better still, pay him a visit and let your mom be there as well. Preinform there is a matter to be discussed.
And then, table your restlessness you have been having. Tell him you want to know why things were the way they were then. If he doesn't explain. Greet him and walk away but still send him money. This way, you have aired your mind even if you didn't get any helpful answers.
But I believe he will explain things out, good or bad and be cautious as with your mother, you best know her personality and how her mouth might work in such situations.
SOMETIMES, mothers are the cause of why fathers behave the way they did, though not a valid excuse. But not wanting to go dark so it doesn't look like they are visiting the sins of the mother on the children, the father will just do some of his duties, but not all.
And these doesn't mean we still don't have irresponsible fathers who don't just give a damn.
And lastly, see it this way, some things are put in this life for us to learn from and so not make same mistake. There are certain actions by people we shouldn't be criticising.e.g Peter denying Jesus.
Sometimes I think they were meant to happen just the way they happened. What is most important is how we/they react to such actions afterwards.
In all, learn from your dad's supposed mistakes and be a better father than he is.
Am from a polygamous home. I understand your plight even though my dad is the exact opposite of yours. My father had his own demons he battled with. Such will be the life of every father. God help us all cos we aren't taught or trained to be fathers. We learn from our society and apply what we "think" best work for our immediate family.

Thank you boss....

I really appreciate.... The treatment is not only on us but all his kids... Infact, he never cared abt any of us... My steps siblings and all..

Man was just all abt himself, parties and so on


But it's well sha....

waleolaniyan:
Manipulative power of woman at work. Truth will unfold with time. By then it may be too late.

Here come another African man.. Always Defending and believing that a man does no wrong

They blame the irresponsibilities of a man on the woman.

Like we were blind and deaf to see what's going on àbi..

edward1106:


There is an age you get to as a child, your father or mom becomes like a very close friend. The difference btw him and others den becomes just the respect you accord but can't afford others.
Pay him a visit or better still, pay him a visit and let your mom be there as well. Preinform there is a matter to be discussed.
And then, table your restlessness you have been having. Tell him you want to know why things were the way they were then. If he doesn't explain. Greet him and walk away but still send him money. This way, you have aired your mind even if you didn't get any helpful answers.
But I believe he will explain things out, good or bad and be cautious as with your mother, you best know her personality and how her mouth might work in such situations.
SOMETIMES, mothers are the cause of why fathers behave the way they did, though not a valid excuse. But not wanting to go dark so it doesn't look like they are visiting the sins of the mother on the children, the father will just do some of his duties, but not all.
And these doesn't mean we still don't have irresponsible fathers who don't just give a damn.
And lastly, see it this way, some things are put in this life for us to learn from and so not make same mistake. There are certain actions by people we shouldn't be criticising.e.g Peter denying Jesus.
Sometimes I think they were meant to happen just the way they happened. What is most important is how we/they react to such actions afterwards.
In all, learn from your dad's supposed mistakes and be a better father than he is.
Am from a polygamous home. I understand your plight even though my dad is the exact opposite of yours. My father had his own demons he battled with. Such will be the life of every father. God help us all cos we aren't taught or trained to be fathers. We learn from our society and apply what we "think" best work for our immediate family.

Bro, mother is not the cause of anything..

If na mother, what abt my step brothers and sisters, they were even treated worst than us... Cud it be there mother too?

If i relate my experience with u especially how my dad treated my mother when she was very sick eh., chaiii

Same mother that left her own business to come stay with my dad during his surgery and operation.

My dad paid back with wickedness..

I no wan remember, bro.... Cos if I remember, I go dislike my papa more sha

I dont know what prompt your father to act in such manners towards you,but for the fact that you still communicate with him,send money for him shows you are a wise man and God bless you for that.


Yes we as human it really hurt us,not to have that fatherly love around us,you can forgive him for all he did to you guys but forgetting will be very difficult

I have friends who experienced same

I will imply you continue the communication and also send money for him as you usually do don't stop.

Go see your father personally and have discussion with him one on one,before it is too late even though you don't want to but try.