Mercylike:


I don't think there is anytin to seat an old man and talk about..

I still do what I do for him like sending him money monthly.... I don't think there is sumtin else I need from him.


Dad attend party buys aṣọ ebi but never deem it fit to ever buy us clothes or shoes to wear. Never ever did..

Only mom will wear rag so that we can wear good thing. Story plenty

Pay him a visit and continue to send him monthly stipend and prove to him that being who he is, God still brought a better man out of him.

Love your mom and don't let any girl who didn't know how you made it here to become in between you and her in the name of marriage or relationship

Mercylike:


I don't think there is anytin to seat an old man and talk about..

I still do what I do for him like sending him money monthly.... I don't think there is sumtin else I need from him.


Dad attend party buys aṣọ ebi but never deem it fit to ever buy us clothes or shoes to wear. Never ever did..

Only mom will wear rag so that we can wear good thing. Story plenty

U still talk like a child. It will remain so forever until u let go. Life na seed,it doesn't matter who wrong or right. Hin do e papa,u do am too,better break the evil circle

Mercylike:
Growing up with my family, I grew up not liking my dad but liking my mother so much that I can go to the extreme for her. It all started like this;

While we were growing, my dad having like 2 wives never really cared about us. Not even our steps siblings who are older than us. Their own even worse, they struggled and worked hard to get what the want with little or no help from our dad. Except for 1 or 2 out of 7 of them, the rest stopped at secondary school (public). My dad had no intention of being responsible for them.

Back to myself and my brother which are the only kids my mom gave my dad, he never still feels responsible.

Throughout my primary, secondary and tertiary years, I can't pinpoint one time that my dad bought sandal, cloth or anything for us. The only drug my dad has ever bought for us when we are seriously sick is paracetamol, even if we have serious sickness, he doesn't care. All he does is to call my mother to come take care of us (my mother doesn't stay fully with us because it won't even be convenient in such house with step mom but whenever she comes, she could spend a week).

Infact he was un-interested in sending us to school but thanks to my MOTHER. Though she didn't read well as she stopped as primary 5 or so but she said that she vow that she will train her children to school if they are ready to learn. Myself and my bro were ready to learn and my mom entered debts just to make sure we go to school. I could remember giving up when I gained admission, my dad already told us that he didn't send us to go to school ooo. I didn't know how my mother did it, she came home and gave me the acceptance fee and school fees with some other money. ( I cried before and after the incident, I don't know how this woman got this money but I'm sure she took loan).

Sometimes our step mom gets jealous thinking it was my dad that was doing those efforts for us but never did she know that all was my mom. I won't deny, dad contributed little but it was by force, begging his friends to plead to him to pay part of our school fee and all. But he is always boisterous of the fact that his sons are in school and all which angers me to see him boast with me especially.

Till now, I still don't feel responsible for my dad well-being. I have tried adjusting myself to loving him well but I can't. I just like him and respect him as a father but for my mom, I will do anything for her. I will go hungry for her, I will starve for her.

Nairalanders, it's being like 3 or 4 years I went to see my dad even though his place is not too far from me. He has been calling me several times that he wants to see me but I have always told him that I don't have time.

My problem is, my dad has never changed.. He is always concerned about himself, all he ask is money. He hardly calls to check up, except when he need money.
Since I started working, I have never defaulted in sending him money every month but I send my mother 3 times or even 4 times what I send my dad. After all, he has our step brothers and sisters he can always ask for money. So I don't really care about him.

One statement he usually makes since we were small "Go and meet your mother". He doesn't feel responsible for our needs, all na our mother.
Though he gives us daily feeding while we were growing and living under him but thanks to my mother that pays food vendors around to give us food whenever we are hungry because my dad doesn't give us enough.


Many stories but I can't say all...

Nairalanders, I still feel guilty as to why I don't like him. It feels like I have not forgiven him but to be honest, I have no issue with him.

How can I free myself from this guilt?

So far you are still giving him allowance, no matter how small I t is, you don't need to feel guilt about your relationship with him

He was not there for you when you needed him most so let him deal with it

You can't cheat nature, karma is real

Mercylike:



Bro, mother is not the cause of anything..

If na mother, what abt my step brothers and sisters, they were even treated worst than us... Cud it be there mother too?

If i relate my experience with u especially how my dad treated my mother when she was very sick eh., chaiii

Same mother that left her own business to come stay with my dad during his surgery and operation.

My dad paid back with wickedness..

I no wan remember, bro.... Cos if I remember, I go dislike my papa more sha

That's why I said sometimes.
Some men may not love their wives because they were forced on them by parents (arranged marriage) or circumstances(pregnancy). Hence, not their intended choice and for men who can't control their emotion, they end up transferring this hatred to the children.


There is always a reason, genuine or not. That's why I said get to talk with him politely. And let him know you want to be a better man in that aspect, hence he has to let you know what went wrong.

edward1106:


That's why I said sometimes.
Some men may not love their wives because they were forced on them by parents (arranged marriage) or circumstances(pregnancy). Hence, not their intended choice and for men who can't control their emotion, they end up transferring this hatred to the children.


There is always a reason, genuine or not. That's why I said get to talk with him politely. And let him know you want to be a better man in that aspect, hence he has to let you know what went wrong.

Exactly that is what I said earlier that what steps has he taken so far, it is not all about sending money to him, has he sat his father down or invited him to his place and talk one on one like father and son.

My own case for example my father spend little on me while schooling I was very angry. I sat and reason I realized my dad lost his father at the age of four and his life was all about struggling, he went to the university with nothing and it affected his mentallity it affected the way he treated us.

There was a time we were discussing and he said you better thank God you have a father that is sending little that during his time no father to support him, I have to tell his that it was so because his own father was dead but mine is not dead and it is responsibility for him to provide as long as he his alive.

Sometimes one background play alot in once life.

Bruh...I have been in your exact same shoe....only difference is the other wife had only one child..but our dad was a destitute,never cared for any of us...our mum saw us through school..Thank God she was well off, she used to work in a bank back then...when we grew up, he came to beg us..my elder siblings forgave him (i am the last born) i did not forgive him till he died....you don't want to imagine the guilt i hav been living with since then..i wish i had forgiven him regardless of everything.....believe me, the best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive him wholeheartedly....Free yourself from the shackles of the past

Kobojunkie:
If you yourself bothered reading the same bible, you would have learned that there are no such things as curses of a father or mother. The only one with power to bless or curse in that book is God Himself. All others simply said words that had no meaning or power to them except for the power given the words by those who heard them.

2. If Op had instead complained of his mum being the deadbeat in this case, would you have equally asked him to placate her?

Mother and father relative to the discourse are same irrespective of your improvised doctrine.

Kobojunkie:
Lol... rubbish!

Did you know that when people mourn, it is not necessarily the dead that they mourn but instead the space left empty by the dead no longer being there?

Keep shooting yourself in the leg.

Mercylike:


Dreamer... Notin can ever make me like my dad than my mother... Notin

Is it financially support

Is it fasting and prayer that mom does on us

Is it the go and come she does all bcox of us?


You are joker man... I repeat, a joker

Like I said, that's the only thing I can tell you.

FFIA:

He was a deadbeat, now the deadbeat is dead. Death cannot change his deadbeat status in your life. Let the deadbeat rest in peace in deadbeat afterlife.

Nah your papa be beadbeat if at all you have one.... idiot⚠️

Did you hear me say my dad was one abi Ogun won kill you and your generations throw way😡😡

FFIA:

He was a deadbeat, now the deadbeat is dead. Death cannot change his deadbeat status in your life. Let the deadbeat rest in peace in deadbeat afterlife.

tochez24

tochez24:


Nah your papa be beadbeat if at all you have one.... idiot⚠️

Did you hear me say my dad was one abi Ogun won kill you and your generations throw way😡😡

You be trouble maker

GGIA:


tochez24

patorial:


Like I said, that's the only thing I can tell you.

I can tell. U dt u r a dreamer

iamsomatil:
Bruh...I have been in your exact same shoe....only difference is the other wife had only one child..but our dad was a destitute,never cared for any of us...our mum saw us through school..Thank God she was well off, she used to work in a bank back then...when we grew up, he came to beg us..my elder siblings forgave him (i am the last born) i did not forgive him till he died....you don't want to imagine the guilt i hav been living with since then..i wish i had forgiven him regardless of everything.....believe me, the best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive him wholeheartedly....Free yourself from the shackles of the past

I have notin against him..

Mercylike:


You be trouble maker

no make make dem ban me again oh!

Na laugh I laugh, I no kill person

make tochez24 father rest in peace

Justkatty:
Go back and read what that same portion talked about parents in respect to the children wellbeing.

It's not me you will tell to go back and read. Instead, use your brain to reason where it says in scripture that children are free to dishonour their parents should their parents fall short of bringing up their children in the way of the Lord. The shortcomings of the parent doesn't give the children ANY grounds to DISHONOUR their parents. Why do you think the scriptures talk about forgiveness or you think God is dumb?
So you can't be telling me to read scripture when it's ýou that needs healing and to walk in forgiveness.

DrFunmisticGlow:

The same Bible in Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” where did Op's father do that?

while Colossians 3:21 reiterates “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”

The father has completely discouraged op, if he dies in a dishonorable way, he had it coming

YOU have ERRED GREATLY!

If God had the same mindset about you, you'll be long dead. Do you think it's by your righteousness that you live and breathe or it's by HIS mercy, long-suffering and goodness toward you?

1. FIRSTLY, WE ALL DON'T DESERVE GOD'S LOVE and FORGIVENESS. WHY? BECAUSE WE ARE all FILTHY
The Bible says all our righteousness are like filthy rags
(Isa 64:6)

So there's NONE RIGHTEOUS.
Rom 3:10

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 53:6 KJV

2. INSPITE OF OURSELVES, GOD STILL LOVED US
What is man, that thou art mindful of him?
Psalm 8:4 KJV
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8 KJV
For God so loved the world....
John 3:16 KJV


God loved us while we were yet unlovely!
sinners! ungodly! filthy!

Now God commands ALL his children to walk in love. We are to love people the SAME WAY and with the SAME KIND OF LOVE that he loved us. And that love includes FORGIVENESS.It is by walking in love toward one another that people will know


By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
John 13:35 KJV
If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
Proverbs 25:21
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, LOVE your enemies, BLESS THEM that curse you, DO GOOD to them that hate you, and PRAY for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 5:43‭-‬44 KJV.

I can give you more than enough scriptures, but I don't have the time.
But the message I'm passing across is CLEAR. THE OP HAS NO JUSTIFICATION WHATSOEVER TO HATE HIS FATHER.

Fearcom:


YOU have ERRED GREATLY!

If God had the same mindset about you, you'll be long dead. Do you think it's by your righteousness that you live and breathe or it's by HIS mercy, long-suffering and goodness toward you?

1. FIRSTLY, WE ALL DON'T DESERVE GOD'S LOVE and FORGIVENESS. WHY? BECAUSE WE ARE all FILTHY
The Bible says all our righteousness are like filthy rags
(Isa 64:6)

So there's NONE RIGHTEOUS.
Rom 3:10

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 53:6 KJV

2. INSPITE OF OURSELVES, GOD STILL LOVED US
What is man, that thou art mindful of him?
Psalm 8:4 KJV
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8 KJV
For God so loved the world....
John 3:16 KJV


God loved us while we were yet unlovely!
sinners! ungodly! filthy!

Now God commands ALL his children to walk in love. We are to love people the SAME WAY and with the SAME KIND OF LOVE that he loved us. And that love includes FORGIVENESS.It is by walking in love toward one another that people will know


By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
John 13:35 KJV
If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
Proverbs 25:21
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, LOVE your enemies, BLESS THEM that curse you, DO GOOD to them that hate you, and PRAY for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 5:43‭-‬44 KJV.

I can give you more than enough scriptures, but I don't have the time.
But the message I'm passing across is CLEAR. THE OP HAS NO JUSTIFICATION WHATSOEVER TO HATE HIS FATHER.

what kind of gaslighting, offpoint bullsh!t is this. You typed an essay without saying anything in relation to the topic. The scripture is clear. Actions have consequences. I used 2 scriptures to back up my point. You only used one.I

Fvck around and find out season is here for many deadbeat, narcissistic and abusive parents. Winter is here for a lot of you and SHEGE PRO MAX will be unleashed. OP has every right to hate her deadbeat dad. Hate, disinterest and dislike are valid emotions.

Children of nowadays are no longer gullible to be deceived by your tithe extorting pastors.

DrFunmisticGlow:
what kind of gaslighting, offpoint bullsh!t is this. You typed an essay without saying anything in relation to the topic. The scripture is clear. Actions have consequences. I used 2 scriptures to back up my point. You only used one.I

Fvck around and find out season is here for many deadbeat, narcissistic and abusive parents. Winter is here for a lot of you and SHEGE PRO MAX will be unleashed. OP has every right to hate her deadbeat dad. Hate, disinterest and dislike are valid emotions.

Children of nowadays are no longer gullible to be deceived by your tithe extorting pastors.

Why are you deceiving yourself

SINCE YOUR ATTENTION AND COMPREHENSION SPAN IS SHORT, THE 2 SCRIPTURES YOU QUOTED DOES NOT GIVE YOU A PASS TO UNLEASH "SHEGE PRO MAX" ON YOUR PARENTS

YOU ARE TO FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS AND HONOUR THEM. (I have already given you scriptures for this)

God won't force you, but YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.


Why are you triggered and angry at what the Bible says And your use of foul language plainly reveals worlds of information to me. You had better repent and rid yourself of all anger, unforgiveness and resentment so you don't end up in hell

Fearcom:


Why are you deceiving yourself

SINCE YOUR ATTENTION AND COMPREHENSION SPAN IS SHORT, THE 2 SCRIPTURES YOU QUOTED DOES NOT GIVE YOU A PASS TO UNLEASH "SHEGE PRO MAX" ON YOUR PARENTS

YOU ARE TO FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS AND HONOUR THEM. (I have already given you scriptures for this)

God won't force you, but YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.


Why are you triggered and angry at what the Bible says And your use of foul language plainly reveals worlds of information to me. You had better repent and rid yourself of all anger, unforgiveness and resentment so you don't end up in hell

yinmu.

Your retirement insuranceschildren are wising up. If you be a deadbeat parent. A word of caution is enough. The Bible never said we should act like mother Theresa to deadbeat parents. Honoring someone doesn't mean they should step on your head and make inappropiate demands,nor act entitled to their children's wealth

[quote author=DrFunmisticGlow post=128116509]yinmu.

Your retirement insurances children are wising up. If you be a deadbeat parent. A word of caution is enough. The Bible never said we should act like mother Theresa to deadbeat parents. Honoring someone doesn't mean they should step on your head and make inappropiate demands,nor act entitled to their children's wealth

DrFunmisticGlow:
yinmu.

Your retirement insuranceschildren are wising up. If you be a deadbeat parent. A word of caution is enough. The Bible never said we should act like mother Theresa to deadbeat parents. Honoring someone doesn't mean they should step on your head and make inappropiate demands,nor act entitled to their children's wealth

You can do whatsoever you like. LEAVE GOD AND HIS WORD OUT OF IT