| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Zupay: 12:18pm On Feb 24 |
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| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by airsaylongcome: 12:19pm On Feb 24 |
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| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Smithwilliams826: 12:21pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? If you are planning to do that, do also inform her about your plan direct or indirect. Just carry all your family come 9ja, when you wan leave take the rest go abroad. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by OgaTheTop2: 12:23pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? A stitch in time saves nine.. Send her back to naija, her brain will reset.. She will appreciate you in the future.. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by AlfaSeltzer(m): 12:24pm On Feb 24 |
You are a mumu man! 1 Like |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by busomma: 12:27pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? Listen to me very carefully if u may, I went through same thing with my then 12yr old boy in Dallas, Texas 12yrs ago. He wouldn't listen to me his father nor his mother. At 12 ,he was already 5'7" & towers over his mother. He gets violent & punches holes in my walls with little or no provocations. He bullies his elder sister of 4yrs. Constant calls from school authorities for all sorts of infractions. Everybody around him was miserable. I had enough one day & told him we have to visit Nigeria, just me & him. He was excited & started behaving normal as a kid should but his fate has been sealed already. Story short. On getting to Nigeria & spending 2 days in Lagos in a nice hotal, we traveled by road ( traveling by road was done on purpose to deny him comfort from now on), we got to my village in Delta state. Before leaving United States, all arrangements has been made for him to start a local secondary school, from home. He has to walk almost 3 miles on daily basis. I refused to buy him even a bicycle. My elder brothers didn't like the idea one bit & begged profusely on my son's behalf to at least put him in a boarding house in a big school. I no gree ooo, after all na the same school I go some 43 yrs ago. My people, this boy hear am & he saw Jesus many times . The day I left village for America, he wasn't aware. To run away, he no Sabi anywhere & not many people could understand him anyway. Na so my boy groove 2 yrs for village ooo till we thought the punishment was enough. He came back in 2016, a completely different human being full of respect & admiration. He finished high school & went to UT, Texas ,Arlington campus . He works as cyber security expert in one the IT companies as u read this. He never stopped thanking me for saving his life cos I showed him daddy's tough love. This is a true story . 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Zupay: 12:27pm On Feb 24 |
airsaylongcome:
And? The UK or the US would come and pick her up from here? Person wey no bi citizen? Social service will "take special interest" in the remaining members of the family in the UK or US especially if the mention issues of abuse in the home. Mind you collecting children from their parents is big business in the UK and US as it is a whole industry. Do you know that taxes paid by around 200 full time factory workers in the UK per month, is used to support only one child per month who have been taken away from their families? |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Truths9ja: 12:27pm On Feb 24 |
BRATISLAVA:
Why choosing his new wife over his own child? Why can't he find a middle ground?
Clearly this is his plan on evicting his daughter to please his new wife, without a care in the world what happens to her next. He just wants her off his hands. His new children are his only priority. He needs advice so that he can kill his conscience and do what she asked him to. exactly you are much on point. No cordial relationship with his daughter at all. It’s when her daughter knows the right to sue her dad that he is asking advice from the people. The huge problem is from the daughter dad. 1 Like |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by blackboy2star(m): 12:29pm On Feb 24 |
Which school and boarding did you attend? I'm sure you're generalizing on hearsay and few bad eggs you've seen demoBaba:
9ja boarding skool you say? she'll add with her bad behaviour. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Truckpusher(m): 12:30pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? Enroll her in one of these Nigerian Navy Secondary School across the nation. No be person go advice her. They have her type coming from the US and UK every year to collect proper orientation , If you enroll her in that school , give her 3 yrs you'll have a brand new daughter.   |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by KOVIC19COVID20: 12:32pm On Feb 24 |
MrPerfecto:
Take YOUR WIFE back to Nigeria.
This was you. 
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| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by joiyke89: 12:33pm On Feb 24 |
Please Bring her to Shekinah International British School here in Imo State Nigeria. You can visit www.sbis.com.ng for more details. Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Taiwo20(m): 12:33pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? Visit Nigeria on a holiday trip. Dump her in a state boarding house under strict paid supervision |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Efewestern: 12:34pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? I don't normally believe stories of step mothers against their step kids. Most of the time, it's born out of hatred. Ask yourself this, why is it that she only misbehaves when you're not around? Is it that she responding to the hatred thrown to her by your wife? Dig deep man and don't always swallow everything your wife says about your flesh and blood. If possible, get secret camera to monitor the activities of the house. And don't send your child over. There are ways to discipline if really she is rebellious for no just cause. Peace! 1 Like |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Sijo01(f): 12:35pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? Judging by your previous thread, your wife obviously brought out the rebellious nature from your daughter. Sending her back home is not a bad idea if she was still teachable. I'll advise against it because you'll be shifting your responsibility of nurturing her to someone else who's not her parent. This is the time to be close to her, take her out, walk with her and get her to talk to you. Make her to understand that you're her best friend and that she can share her worries, fears and mistakes with you and you'll not judge her. Make her to communicate with her mother if she isn't. You and her mom should also communicate and coparent her. It's obvious she lacks motherly care and support, your wife is not mothering her at all. DON'T SEND HER HOME YET UNTIL YOU GET CLOSE TO HER AND ESTABLISH A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. 2 Likes |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by blingxx(m): 12:36pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? Trust me her head will correct if she grew up with my mom and aunt  na only woman fit understand woman, I grew up with strict parents |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Storypot: 12:40pm On Feb 24 |
If you send her to Niheria and she's a yankee badiee already, yahoobois will turn her to theri sex slave and their call customer service.. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Focusmind: 12:42pm On Feb 24 |
Truckpusher:
Enroll her in one of these Nigerian Navy Secondary School across the nation. No be person go advice her. They have her type coming from the US and UK every year to collect proper orientation , If you enroll her in that school , give her 3 yrs you'll have a brand new daughter. I wished the OP could see this. I proposed this to a former mentor that moved to US . Both his son and daughter were given the hardworking man a high BP. Finally, we got a senior navy personnel that helped process admission into the Nigerian navy secondary school, Lagos. The son came and enrolled and completely became a changed person that he wanted to proceed to NDA kaduna. Eventually, he joined the US armed forces. For the daughter, we got her enrolled at the Domican College, Mafoluko, a Catholic run school. The reverend sisters completely changed her. Today, she is a neonatal nurse in Ohio, US. Institutions changes and shapes people's behaviour. Their father spent money to hand them over to disciplinarian in both Nigerian navy school and the Domican College. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by khalifjgusau(m): 12:44pm On Feb 24 |
BRATISLAVA:
A man threatening to beat his daughter so badly that the authorities will take her away?
He's allowed to be frustrated. But then he sounds like someone who isn't ready to see where he went wrong, as a perfect person, or talk to his own child reasonably. If he's been threatening her, it's only going to make her worse.
Yes, I now understand your point. Thank you for your time...
He's still besotted with his new wife. Anything she says goes. His priorities don't lie with this daughter. That's the cause of his problem with her. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by A112: 12:44pm On Feb 24 |
Pls in whatever u do, do not send ur dota to granny they will spoil her more.. Send her to someone who can beat the hell out of her in 9ja like aunty or sis..thanks 1 Like |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Mozegee: 12:50pm On Feb 24 |
ZeroWorries:
Please have mercy on me. Hardship is killing me. I had nothing to eat yesterday and no hope today. I have started feeling like want to faint. Help me with any amount please even if it's buy Garri and sip. Even Garri is not even cheap again. Thank you.
0015 442 845, Sterling Bank. who did you vote before you come here to ask of help |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by dettolgel: 12:52pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? Oga the solution to your daughter's behavior is in your text. Sending her to boarding school in Nigeria is not the best move. She is a teenager and this is a critical moment in her life. You should change your job to one that allows you to be home when she is home and at work when she is in school. That way you can play the father role in her life. Take them to school and be gentle and understanding while doing it. After work go straight home and meet them there. Ask about their days be interested in their daily activities and be strict when you have to. She is your daughter it is your responsibility to raise her not boarding school. Send her there and she will either become lesbian or turn out to take solace in the arms of older men. Be wise and take care of your problem yourself don't pass the buck to someone else. 1 Like |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by dettolgel: 12:55pm On Feb 24 |
Focusmind:
I wished the OP could see this. I proposed this to a former mentor that moved to US . Both his son and daughter were given the hardworking man a high BP. Finally, we got a senior navy personnel that helped process admission into the Nigerian navy secondary school, Lagos. The son came and enrolled and completely became a changed person that he wanted to proceed to NDA kaduna. Eventually, he joined the US armed forces.
For the daughter, we got her enrolled at the Domican College, Mafoluko, a Catholic run school. The reverend sisters completely changed her. Today, she is a neonatal nurse in Ohio, US. Institutions changes and shapes people's behaviour. Their father spent money to hand them over to disciplinarian in both Nigerian navy school and the Domican College. I have relations in the USA whose' kids are model children. You can't neglect your kids in the course of chasing money and expect them to be model citizens. What I really do not understand who exactly are the parents chasing the money for if not for the children? While then would you neglect them to the point that they become menace to you and the money becomes of no value to you and them. Find a balance and take care of the children you brought into this world. 2 Likes |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Fem4real: 12:55pm On Feb 24 |
Be calm friend.
A friend of mine had similar issue..
Now the solution...
Option 1.
Send her to a well discipline boarding school .
Option 2.
Send her to a disciplined ministry that handles such student.. we still have good churches that has boarding school.
Don't send her to your parent they might pamper her...
My opinion.
Stay blessed. 1 Like |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Efewestern: 12:56pm On Feb 24 |
BRATISLAVA:
Why choosing his new wife over his own child? Why can't he find a middle ground?
Clearly this is his plan on evicting his daughter to please his new wife, without a care in the world what happens to her next. He just wants her off his hands. His new children are his only priority. He needs advice so that he can kill his conscience and do what she asked him to. We know the game and plot. Key points to note. * Girl behaves well when daddy is around. * All negative things are reported by the wife. The man hasn't experienced any bad behaviours. My wife said this , she said that. I know men reason too much with their joysticks that they always fail to protect their flesh and blood, but I think it's about time we put an end to the terror of women to their step kids. It's becoming unbearable and I'm already feeling sad for this innocent child because the wife has so much manipulated the head of her father. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by SIRTee15: 12:57pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.
We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.
She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.
I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue? To be fair on the girl, she may have a genuine reason for her sudden change in behaviour and I can't rule out maltreatment or neglect from her step mum. Only U can fix that, someone already advised installing secret camera in the house to monitor what happens when U are away. Another is to alter your shifts so u can be at home when she's also at home- provided it's possible without impacting your finances. However, rebellious attitude should not be tolerated in your home from anybody whatever thencase. It spreads; if your other kids notice you have lost control of the house, they will be emboldened to disrespect u when the time is right. This is my advice 1. Call your daughter and ask her what's the problem btw her and anyone in the family. If her response is rude or no, then ask her if she wants to go and live with her mum, mum's relative or any other person she wants to live with. Call whoever she mentions, confirm they happy to take her and let her go. 2. Don't be fooled that U can copy the white's man way of raising kids. It will never work because we are different. Black Americans tried it for hundreds of years and the result is disastrous. Caribbeans in diaspora are following same footsteps and their children ain't turning out well either. We are in western country for economic opportunity not for cultural appropriation. The white man cultural norms and value can never work for the black race and adapting it will only lead to dysfunctional family. Establish African values in your home and make it clear to your kids they are Africans and will be raised as such. Disrespect to parents is a big NO and will never be tolerated. MAKE THAT CLEAR. 3. Bring religion back into your home. This is not about believing in a sky daddy but indoctrinating your kids with morals and values that enshrine dignity and godliness. It also brings fear into the heart of people to do the right thing. If your daughter is active in church, she will never take all those wayward steps. The fear of sky daddy punishing her would put her on track. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by kolanpas(m): 12:58pm On Feb 24 |
Before you send her home, be sure your daughter is not suicidal in nature, because girl in her age if not emotionally strong enough could commit suicide when face with unbearable situation. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by smiliyB(f): 12:59pm On Feb 24 |
brain54:
You are sure your wife has nothing to do with this...?
I somehow get the feeling the young girl is being rebellious for a reason! She has nothing to do with it, teenagers can be difficult sometimes. |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Kingrshd3: 12:59pm On Feb 24 |
phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue. God bless you.. This is d best advise ever |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by Dpharisee: 1:00pm On Feb 24 |
Mrperfecto:
Hey guys really need ur advice since I can't sleep. This evening when I came back home I met my 11 years old looking so sad , I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing.
Later in the evening when I was sitting ouside in the garden to get some fresh air she followed me and asked me what does bastard mean..
I asked her where did she heard that from and she said her mummy call her that. I asked her what did she do to mummy she said she was carrying her baby sister and she accidentally caused her to hit her head in the door, mummy got angry and call her a bastard .
It really shocked me and I had lied to her it doesn't mean anything bad but she said she knows the meaning because she had googled it. I wasn't happy with my wife no matter what the girl has done she doesn't have to use such words to her , despite being angry I was patient enough waiting for the little ones to go to bed.
I have confronted her calmly but I was so shocked that she has taken it to another level accusing me to be sleeping with my daughter mother.
We had a heated argument which she held me by shirt shouting at me if you are a man hit me without minding she is 7 months pregnant.
She knows hitting woman is not my nature and she was tempting me to hit her so she can call the police on me because she knows that we are in abroad and not in naija anymore. I have quietly left the house for her and I am now sitting in my car cooling down and I don't really know if I want advice but I just felt like to vent. Sorry for the long post @bolded, I saw this post you made in 2022 and I could see that your wife has a hand in pushing her to the edge. Because of your focus on your work to fend for your family you have negated your role in her life. i also have a 13 year old daughter and I can understand that its a delicate teenage period. I would have advised you send her back to Nigeria to be culturally molded but when I saw this post of yours I have a change of mind. Solution: try to spend quality time with her alone outside the house as if you are her boyfriend, make her see you as a confidante. Tell her always how much you love her and want the best for her, ask her questions about her school and friends, let her know the things you don't like and the kind of attitude you expect from her. Have a reward system for her good behaviour such as coming home early from school, all these may not go down well with your wife who will see her as a competitor but you have to save your daughter's future. You have to create a father and daughter timeout as many times as fixable for just the two of you where your wife will not be present and privy to your discussions which could be in an ice-cream or fast food joint or take a regular walk in the park, teenagers love that. Instead of getting angry to the point of beating her you create an atmosphere for her to privately open up to you without your wife being present and let her know she is a first daughter, an Ada in African culture who is expected to be a moral guide to her younger siblings, make her have a sense of pride. At this stage in her life she sees your wife as a competitor and your wife also sees her as a rival grabbing your attention and will do some things that will make her to become rebellious without you understanding except you pay ver close attention to details, you must understand that this also happens even between a daughter and her biological mother not to talk of a stepmother. You need to step up and play your role as a man and father, private moments between father and daughter is important, let your wife accuse you of favouring or even having intimacy with your own daughter don't bother about her blackmail that may arise but focus on achieving your aim and you will see changes in her behaviour. Goodluck! 3 Likes |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by kelvinjay90(m): 1:00pm On Feb 24 |
brain54:
You are sure your wife has nothing to do with this...?
I somehow get the feeling the young girl is being rebellious for a reason! I so much like your contribution, there is a reason for her behavior, try to sit her down and talk to her.. any decision you make by sending her back to 9ja, will create an enmity between her and her siblings. Ask God for wisdom to handle her |
| Re: My 13 Years Old Has Become Terrible! I Want To Send Her Back To Nigeria by uba1991: 1:03pm On Feb 24 |
You said she only misbehave when you are not around? Then how do you know the truth |
