Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

If only u have brothers/sisters like mine thay can not spare the rod and can handle her like their daughter, i support u bringing her to continue in boarding school preferably catholic/mission school that can instill moral into her.

olamilarks:
I like your submission a lot...

Thanks

You and wife, you and your wife and you and your wife as you have mentioned severally. Are you sure your wife has not manipulated your love for you daughter (which is not hers)?
Think it through. For the fact that she is without her mom, she would need extra love and care, which you might not be able to provide (having to always go to work) and absolutely your wife cannot do it.
If you don't want her to turn out miserable, let her rejoin her biological mother if she is still alive. Child care and support is a very crucial at growing stage and once missed, it can have unpleasant consequences.

You can send her to Nigeria IF her mother is there. Have you been living in Jupiter? Boarding schools in Nigeria is a MINI-JUNGLE. She want her mom, send her to her mom! She doesn't see your wife as someone she can talk to, and you are hardly available to home. Devote some time for her alone, take her out, communicate with her and humble yourself to be her friend. Pray together, and the Good Lord will answer your prayers in Jesus' Precious Name.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

So Nigeria is a dumping ground for terrible child 🚸hold her there and train her,don't come and drop terrible child for us again we are already in terrible state.

She is certainly a bad influence to others. An insolent child in the family will corrupt the other children. Since she has refused to recogniuse and respect the presence and position of her step mother, send her back to Nigeria, let someone else raise her while you pay the bills and ensure she is in school to graduate level. You can't keep a bad egg in the family. The bad egg will corruupt the others by association and assimilation. You have to choose between haviung a family in which there is peace and love AND one in which you are constantly provoked and sad because the bad egg is around. She obviously is not happy seeing your wife. She is not happy in your house because of your wife but the day she is taken elsewwhere, she will change to a better child. Remember, One bad fruit in a basket will spoil the others. You have a duty to protect the other children from unknowingly picking the bad traits from the bad girl child. Your life, longevity and good health depends on state of mind. I know what you are passing through. Such a condition troubles the heart and you could have heaert failure. Do something before something do you. I can feel that you are not a happy man eventhough you have a good job, a famly and money. But one thing is lacking in your family -l peace, love and family atmosphere. I speak as a family man. Sewnd her back to Nigeria which is far, be sure she goes to school whereever she maybe up to university, provide things she need and anytime you travel home, shop for her and ask her to come over. You'll see a remarkable change in her. Over time, she will accept and see your wife as a mother.

One of the side effects of Japa.

Bring her to me, let me take her to my mom who's a retiree in her early 60s, I can assure you that within three months this girl will change, 13 is still young and can still be tamed, I can assure you that the training a retired primary school teacher will give to a 13 Y.O girl would help remould her. My mom is a comfortable widow and very homely and also a deaconess in church.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Hello!

I went through your topics over the years and bro it's obvious your wife is the issue your daughter is facing! No child is bad it is the environment a child grows in that determines their response and your wife her step mother is a thorn in your child's flesh! I can't get over when you said she called the kid a bas..tard ... Is it because she did not birth that child why is she acting like the proverbial wicked step mother? I really feel for your daughter pls man up before it's too late don't let her ruin that child's life

phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue.

That's a harsh approach. You will understand violence does not resolve all issues when a mosquito is biting your scrotum.

Don't send her back to Nigeria if you still love her .

I believe there is reason for her behaviors . From what I noticed in your written is like the girl is no longer want to accept the family again . It may cause by you or your wife to her . I think ,she need counseling. I don't know if you can get that in where you are . She need person that would talk with her with love to know what is happening to her and from that they would be able to know what to be done to her . Sending her back to Nigeria would.make her feel you hate her and that would worsen the situation,. She is with you and he behaves the way you said she is behaving what if she is not with the person that can handled her

If you are in Nigeria I would have offer to counsel her but it is good to see her and study her before that can be done. Please look for someone that can counsel her

SIXFEETUNDER:


You're soft on her. Show her who's boss and lay down the law. A good spanking never hurt anyone

spank her until she calls the police. :-p

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Send her to Peaceville International Academy.

She will change.

You haven't paid much attention to her. When last have you discussed with your daughter?

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Please send her home to learn some moral training till when she's 18 years old she will learn in a hard way here in Nigeria

Tobest94:
story story. All dis na just story. Nothing concern social worker once your daughter don reach Nigeria here. You’ve the right to decide where you want your child to school. UK can’t decide that for you so just stop story

Then why u come remain for UK with the other children, if Nigerian better?

You better send that girl back to Naija and put her in public school where she be trekking to and fro school under heavy sun and rainfall. Let better hunger (owu) and stress cure and straighten her brain. She go know far with life. Send her to your relatives and don't pamper her with money too much. I have a friend whose son misbehaved while in London, UK a teenager who was into dope, he was brought back to Naija. By the time better owu tear am, oboy eyes clear and sun cure his brain until he finished secondary school. Before he was taken back to the UK for his uni. He later became a humble and honest boy. Dem nor tell person, body go inform her when time reach. Abeg, no time to check time oooo

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Start some baby steps.
1. Going forward, school ends at 3:45pm, pick her up at closing of school which should be about 3 minutes drive from your house. You have time since you don't resume at work till 6:30pm

2. Take only her out on a date possibly a weekend to a nice restaurant and have a relaxing gist about life generally. Provide reminiscent stories of life for you growing up.

3.Switch suddenly when back in the car going back home from the father-daughter date with a stern but worried look asking her if she is aware of your special love. Tell her to confide in you her concerns.

4. Tell her she is not abnormal and you understand her challenges as she is transitioning to puberty. Buy her books on teenage self awareness and understanding their body.

5. Set up the father and daughter date at least once in a month.

6. Do this for at least 6 months.

BRATISLAVA:


That's exactly what's happening here.

It's his duty to be a father. Not the woman. She's enjoying the benefits of his inability to be a father to his daughter.

Men who should be correcting some abnormalities in the way this man runs his home are doing otherwise. It's a pity.

We can see this man has lost control of his home and I'm feeling the wife is the one calling the shot. A teenager who doesn't like coming home after school hours must certainly have a reason. Kids sense hatred and bad energy from afar.

Just went through some of his old post and see how completely this young girl has suffered in the hands of her step mother. And the OP is shocked that the little angel is rabelling.

let her join us here sapa will put senses into her thick skull

martinkem:


The story of Cinderella is one of the oldest stories out there and e get why. Having grown-up in a not so dissimilar situation, Step-mothers dey behave some how you could be the most well-behaved person and still managed to get on their bad side.

You got it. The person simply doesn’t want to see you in their house and they’ll keep tormenting you until you make an exit. Even some blood aunties and mothers can do the same

Please where is the girls mum? Is she dead or you remarried. That Girl is going through alot i can swear. She is unhappy hence her bad behavior. Call her out away from her step mum and kids ,have a heart to heart talk with her. Go deep ,try to see things from her point of view before you take a decision that would destroy her finally. Bringing her back to Nigeria will only give you temporary rest of mind cos you won't be seeing all the things she is doing wrong cos as they say what the eyes does not see does not disturb the mind but thats not a solution. There are Alot in Nigeria with worse case ,Nigeria doesn't profer solution. Instead shower her with love and Attention and make sure your wife don't notice it. Reassure her of your impartial love. She might Be keeping late night and staying away from the house cos she doesn't want to stay close to your wife who might be displaying unfair treatment towards her. Finally put her in prayer and try to be aware of your actions around her. Treat all your kids equally. Don't love anyone more than the other and even if you do try not to show it. Thanks

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

i can help you get her admission in Air force girls secondary school Jos she go behave well

What's the attitude of your wife towards her when you are away.
You mentioned that you barely have time with her.
Try installing a hidden CCTV in some strategic places around the house and you will be surprised at what you will see.
Watch out I think something is triggering her reactions.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Anybody asking you to remove a child in a western school to come attend some dead educational system boarding school anywhere in Nigeria, is not being sincere in fact they are part of the "comeback to Nigeria crew".

Send your kid to rehab!
Kids her age will not always take having a 2nd mom lightly esp when her mom is still alive.
Also sit her down and talk, she's matured enough for that!
Besides what' do you think a nigerian school will do differently, in my opinion. She will be worse.

Return her to the village if she is not ready to change

If you send her back to naija without being with her, she’ll become worse.

She’ll turn into a junkie and eventually a nuisance to you and the society.

I’ll suggest you let the authorities know about her and her tendencies, just in case anything happens, let it be on record.

Be wiser than the devil bro.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Bro why are you here ranting, but instead take her ass back to Naija sharp sharp and save yourself and your wife some heartbreake before its late.

My sis did same to her son and the boy is grateful for her decision now.
Go ahead and deport her systematically before she do something stupid.

Raylight2:


Where is her biological mother? You and her biological mother should train her. How did she know your current wife isn't her biological mother? Was she already understanding before you remarried? If it's that your current wife out of anger voiced it that she's not her mother and as a result maltreated her, then, you're both getting what you deserve. If your current wife had treated her as her own biological daughter, she would be more respectful to her. In all, one or both of you are at fault for revealing that information to her. You have to go back to the drawing board and treat/correct her in love. Make her feel she's part of the family. Don't let your wife prefer the other kids over her.

Wahala for who get pikin from multiple partners.

Look at his previous thread you will see u are not far from truth

Aki you are right!

phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue.

😄

I strongly support your idea.
I actually work in a school. O have about 3 students in my school whose parents sent back to 9ja cos of bad behavior. The latest is 14 years old and the father said he joined a gang and started doing some funny things. He sent him home ro 9la and he's currently in Senior secondary.

Now look for schools like Graceland international School in portHarcourt where there is high moral standard. Deeper life high schools nationwide too.

My school is very good too, but i have problem with over pampering and so you won't worsen her case by that.

I handle teenagers and i know what you mean. When you want to take such decision, don't let her have an idea at all. Then look for a reliable and nice guardian here she can be spending her holidays with. When she's mature enough and can understand better, she'll return to her family.

It's well with you...

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?