Proserpina:
?

What I wrote was a twist to the saying that "you should know the truth, and the truth shall set you free". If the op didn't insult her, then if she breaks up, the reason for the breakup will be revealed. There is a chance that this insult is just an excuse.

Anyone can break up with anyone, but the best you can do is not to operate and believe in a lie, thinking they left because of your mistake when in reality, they wanted to leave long ago, and just waiting for a justification.

Nope. I didn't made her to be anything, and I didn't blame for leaving. All I am saying is that one shouldn't be architect of their own problems.

If you'll shoot me, the least I can do is to not make you shoot me with my gun and bullet. I won't contribute to anything that will not be in my interest.

And if you will leave due to maybe you find another man, then leave, so I don't disturb myself thinking you left because I insulted you.

Anybody can leave and break up with you, but your actions should not conceal their true intentions for leaving. If she wanted to make it work for example, she might forgive, because people go hard for who they love.

dkidd:
Leave her be u idiot. Never beg, force or manipulate a woman to love u. You will have to keep up with it to keep her. Let her go and develop ur fvcking self so the right one will come in.

Fairs.


I want to ask you; do you believe there are (only a) few good men? Especially, few good men to go around? Do you believe a person can "fumble" a good person or that a woman can fumble a good man, and "waste" her years away, playing with the good men who comes her away and pushing them off, only to end up seeking for good men later in life? And if you choose to answer my question, it'll depend on whether you believe there are good people sha or in anything like goodness.

pansophist:


What I wrote was a twist to the saying that "you should know the truth, and the truth shall set you free". If the op didn't insult her, then if she breaks up, the reason for the breakup will be revealed. There is a chance that this insult is just an excuse.

Anyone can break up with anyone, but the best you can do is not to operate and believe in a lie, thinking they left because of your mistake when in reality, they wanted to leave long ago, and just waiting for a justification.

Nope. I didn't made her to be anything, and I didn't blame for leaving. All I am saying is that one shouldn't be architect of their own problems.

If you'll shoot me, the least I can do is to not make you shoot me with my gun and bullet. I won't contribute to anything that will not be in my interest.

And if you will leave due to maybe you find another man, then leave, so I don't disturb myself thinking you left because I insulted you.

Anybody can leave and break up with you, but your actions should not conceal their true intentions for leaving. If she wanted to make it work for example, she might forgive, because people go hard for who they love.

Are you saying "being verbally abusive" isn't enough reason for anyone man or woman to leave? There is also a chance the insults are the only reason for the break up . Your first post suggested that " insults are not reason enough for break up" your second post solidifies that notion. I suspect you haven't met real verbally abusive people you'd ask yourself over and over again what you are doing with them. It's obvious from the narrative, Op does it regularly and I believe that alone is more than enough to leave. Although you may be leaning on the idea that it isn't enough for a woman to leave. Am I right?

You are right on second paragraph nevertheless that shouldn't absorb one of true reflections on what went wrong and how one can be better. I'm also an advocate of clearing terms when you end things. Leave no one in that dark place uncertainty and unwarranted guilt.

Taken. And being an architect can be something "as minor as being insulting to a partner"

Again you invalidate her reason for leaving because somewhere deep down, you believe that's not a valid reason. Pan am I right?

Okay let me reason with you here. There could be more than one reasons why the lady left with the major being constant verbal abuse. I mean what if there's someone who makes her feel better of herself than Op does and she decided to give the person a chance after several failed attempts to make the relationship work with op. Are you saying the fact that she chose that person overrides the major flaw that led to her decision of going for the other man? Does walking out of a relationship due to constant verbal abuse conceal the decision to be with another man who is better?

Point is there is a deal breaker for everyone, (verbal abuse should be for all but eh some people survive). There will always be a reason for people to walk out. You can be a perfect gift that ends up in the wrong hands. You don't have to be at yourself up over it. True reflections is fine but trying to be vindictive and all clean isn't a nice thing, nobody is that perfect. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone.
BTW you invalidate her reason with your last phrase. You can love someone and not be with them if they will be your end. That doesn't mean you love them less.

kakaaa77:
it's not by force if it doesn't work it doesn't work, just move on there's so many fish in the River keep on casting your net

A very good motivational drive to end up lonely and sad.

Instead of you to tell op to tame his mouth you are here giving "motigbetional" speech

kakaaa77:
it's not by force if it doesn't work it doesn't work, just move on there's so many fish in the River keep on casting your net

So he shouldn't learn from the situation, he should go and carry his bomb of a mouth to another relationship?

Are you for real?

Sonnobax15:

I'm very sure this op typed this with a complete broken heart..

Omoh,try move on with your life too and stop being stupid at this same time

He should just move on and not work on his attitude? He apologised for being rude to her and still went ahead to be rude a second time, that tells you it's something that he can't help and needs to work on.

He should move on and go and insult another woman? Do you think women don't deserve respect too?

Proserpina:
.

See, my post is clear enough. You're inferring what I didn't say or didn't mean. I'm responsible for what I say, not how it is understood.

pansophist:


See, my post is clear enough. You're inferring what I didn't say or didn't mean. I'm responsible for what I say, not how it is understood.

Lol I'm not surprised.

Do have a good day ahead.

Eunoiaa:


Fairs.


I want to ask you; do you believe there are (only a) few good men? Especially, few good men to go around? Do you believe a person can "fumble" a good person or that a woman can fumble a good man, and "waste" her years away, playing with the good men who comes her away and pushing them off, only to end up seeking for good men later in life? And if you choose to answer my question, it'll depend on whether you believe there are good people sha or in anything like goodness.

Just saw this

Of course there are good men same as there are good women too. And like u said about the fumbling part people still do it till date and then looking back they live in regret wishing they could re-live that moment when they had that one good partner they took for granted. Men fumble good women and women also fumble good men then when they realize all they're ending up with is nothing compared o him/her they now yearn for what they used to have but most times it's already too late. So yeah there are still good people

dkidd:
Just saw this

Of course there are good men same as there are good women too. And like u said about the fumbling part people still do it till date and then looking back they live in regret wishing they could re-live that moment when they had that one good partner they took for granted. Men fumble good women and women also fumble good men then when they realize all they're ending up with is nothing compared o him/her they now yearn for what they used to have but most times it's already too late. So yeah there are still good people

Okay.


I asked those questions because of the advice you gave, assuming that the woman in question is not the right person for the OP.


So since you believe there are good people that others "fumble" from time to time, you realize that the OP just might be losing a good one. You advising him not beg her is sound, but could easily be misconstrued as you saying the OP should show no contrite for his actions to the woman. Like, yeah, he did not provide any details of what they said to each, but going by what he said, he admitted to being at fault. If they had both insulted each other, I'm sure the man might have mentioned that.


But you are not privy to these details, you do not know what he said to her, you do not know what influence (possibly positive) that she has on his life, after he he's probably weighed his options, but you just advice him to let her go, thinking because she's not so willing to hear "sorry" (likely for the time being), then he should leave her alone and move on to the "right person" (because you're sure she's not the right person for him?)

Eunoiaa:


Okay.


I asked those questions because of the advice you gave, assuming that the woman in question is not the right person for the OP.


So since you believe there are good people that others "fumble" from time to time, you realize that the OP just might be losing a good one. You advising him not beg her is sound, but could easily be misconstrued as you saying the OP should show no contrite for his actions to the woman. Like, yeah, he did not provide any details of what they said to each, but going by what he said, he admitted to being at fault. If they had both insulted each other, I'm sure the man might have mentioned that.


But you are not privy to these details, you do not know what he said to her, you do not know what influence (possibly positive) that she has on his life, after he he's probably weighed his options, but you just advice him to let her go, thinking because she's not so willing to hear "sorry" (likely for the time being), then he should leave her alone and move on to the "right person" (because you're sure she's not the right person for him?)

It's true I don't know the full gist and what Op posted here, even that can be a fat lie. However, did u miss where he specifically said she told him that she has moved on with her life and is no longer interested in dating the Op? So in that stance u want him to continue begging a lady that has decided to move on because she probably feels it's best for her? Any amount of begging is foolishness at that point because if she eventually takes him back it's due to duress or sympathy which isn't a good reason to date anyone. I don't know how u see it but a girl who has moved on has moved on and there's no such thing as one Mrs right. There are a million right ladies for each man and vice versa no one person is specially made for anyone there are many people specially made for each other all u need to do is position urself well and u will cross paths. There is no one right person for anybody.