Goldieluks:

I think you made a mistake by dating your ''best friend's'' boy friend in the first place.
Maybe he still got feelings for her,and maybe just maybe you might be the one on the loose end.

slimyem:

babe,something tells me the two are just playing you.you are probably a bet experiment.
Stop this play-play r/ship and let both of them go else you'll keep hurting yourself.all the best!

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
funny how you wrote "she knows we are having a r/ship", when you yourself dont even know how to categorize the type of r/ship you have with this guy. here is a simple question to you: IS HE YOUR BF?! ARE YOU IN AN EXCLUSIVE R/SHIP?

to your bestie, it may simply be that you are just fukcing this guy, just like she did back in the days. one thing is certain, THEY both see nothing wrong in "sharing a good thing", so i suggest you do the same or move on with your life.

there is ONLY one way to solve this issue (IMHO):
- dump the lot (who clearly have no respect for you) and move on with your life.

Amya:

nah, i doubt that. What i do know for sure is that she used me to get close to him as she clearly knows that she can't have an independent friendship with him, he would never agree to that. So she got close to me to get close to him. If i visit her, she makes me call him to come over to her apartment where the 3 of us would chat and all that. She antagonizes me then and showers him with praise and always like to talk about that time they were still friends and the crazy things they did e.t.c

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
funny how you wrote "she knows we are having a r/ship", when you yourself dont even know how to categorize the type of r/ship you have with this guy. here is a simple question to you: IS HE YOUR BF?! ARE YOU IN AN EXCLUSIVE R/SHIP?

to your bestie, it may simply be that you are just fukcing this guy, just like she did back in the days. one thing is certain, THEY both see nothing wrong in "sharing a good thing", so i suggest you do the same or move on with your life.

there is ONLY one way to solve this issue (IMHO):
- dump the lot (who clearly have no respect for you) and move on with your life.

SAFO:

Amya, maybe she's lying just to break you guys up.

Has your boyfriend been acting weird lately?

Cuddlemii:

That's not the point.

I advise you take goldie, slimyem and especially Mrbrownjay's comment because he diffused it all for your consumption. I was going to write something similar. For heaven sake, that guy is 3 years younger than you so obviously his thinking and exposure might be different. He might not be matured at heart. You can't tie a young guy down, he probably still experimenting or finding his bearing in life. I even think your friend has a better control of her emotions & can play the game better than you because she understands that its an understanding(u scratch my back, i scratch urs).

But u r bringing love into the mix, when u get into the room for intimacy with someone who has not professed his love for you, committed to you or told you he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, you have to leave your heart behind, psyche urself its just a di-ck and move on. Never ever go into fwb or something slightly above with someone you care about so much cos u wld get hurt. I think you are too lady like for this arrangement, just let go. I don't blame the boy cos everyone has their own style.

Amya:

nah, i doubt that. What i do know for sure is that she used me to get close to him as she clearly knows that she can't have an independent friendship with him, he would never agree to that. So she got close to me to get close to him. If i visit her, she makes me call him to come over to her apartment where the 3 of us would chat and all that. She antagonizes me then and showers him with praise and always like to talk about that time they were still friends and the crazy things they did e.t.c

Cuddlemii:

That's not the point.

I advise you take goldie, slimyem and especially Mrbrownjay's comment because he diffused it all for your consumption. I was going to write something similar. For heaven sake, that guy is 3 years younger than you so obviously his thinking and exposure might be different. He might not be matured at heart. You can't tie a young guy down, he probably still experimenting or finding his bearing in life. I even think your friend has a better control of her emotions & can play the game better than you because she understands that its an understanding(u scratch my back, i scratch urs).

But u r bringing love into the mix, when u get into the room for intimacy with someone who has not professed his love for you, committed to you or told you he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, you have to leave your heart behind, psyche urself its just a di-ck and move on. Never ever go into fwb or something slightly above with someone you care about so much cos u wld get hurt. I think you are too lady like for this arrangement, just let go. I don't blame the boy cos everyone has their own style.

Cuddlemii:

That's not the point.

I advise you take goldie, slimyem and especially Mrbrownjay's comment because he diffused it all for your consumption. I was going to write something similar. For heaven sake, that guy is 3 years younger than you so obviously his thinking and exposure might be different. He might not be matured at heart. You can't tie a young guy down, he probably still experimenting or finding his bearing in life. I even think your friend has a better control of her emotions & can play the game better than you because she understands that its an understanding(u scratch my back, i scratch urs).

But u r bringing love into the mix, when u get into the room for intimacy with someone who has not professed his love for you, committed to you or told you he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, you have to leave your heart behind, psyche urself its just a di-ck and move on. Never ever go into fwb or something slightly above with someone you care about so much cos u wld get hurt. I think you are too lady like for this arrangement, just let go. I don't blame the boy cos everyone has their own style.

Amya:

to be truth i still can't simply classify him as my BF. But we are lovers and we are exclusive.

cynthiafred67:

maybe she is lyin just to break u guys up. I think u should talk to him ask him abt it in a polite manner, u have the right to knw.

Mynd_44:

You were advised here once and you threw it away why should I waste my time advising you again when you might not take it? Abeg go sort out your CHILDISH issues elsewhere

Amya:

i believe all you all said and i'm going to break it off with him. But can i still be friends with him (not her) i enjoy conversing with him a lot as he's the only person i can confide in and really talk to. I promise never to be intimate with him again.

But can i ask a question, does the fact they waited for 3/4 months before attempting s.ex actually count for anything? Why wait for that long if it was all just a game? Why did it have to happen when  he was drunk and she was sober? Why was it a very awkward and dis-satisfying for both of them (as she said) why did she tell me?  

Amya:

Well this is another twist to the 'isn't it just cruel' story i told 6/7 months ago.

The story is about a guy i'm seeing. Someone who i'm 3 years older than [/b]who went on to write stuff on fb that pissed me off.

[b]Well, i didn't take the advice most people gave about letting him go. silly me! Now, this twist involves another person, a girl, one of my best friends who is also here on NL. The three of us are good friends, i actually met the guy and girl the same day last year. Later that same year the girl stopped talking to him and by the end of last year she stopped talking to me for no reason.
This year, the guy and i started this  relationship that made us best friends and lovers at the same time.  I won't call it FWB because it's  clearly above that. We became inseperable in the months that followed, even after the incidence i brought on here on NL.

3 months ago, girl comes back into our lives, and we let her become our bestie. She knows we are having a r/ship. She told me she'd had some intimate relation with the dude last year, and i just shrugged it off. Besides last year was last year. I noticed she still liked the guy, but i ignored the warning signal. This past thursday she casually told me she had se.x with him on tuesday. I've seen him two times since thursday and he just left my house now. I don't know how to ask him about it because i'm afraid if i open my mouth i'll explode.

I really don't know why both of them would do something like this, especially the witch, since she knows about our relationship. I feel hurt and betrayed.

So you mean you're sleeping with your best friend's(also a female NLer for that matter) Bloke?

Wow! Now that's a new low. . .

And we all thought the likes of 190, Mrcork, Lefulefu, et al, were making stuffs up whenever they narrate similar ordeal(s) bewildering escapades?

I give up!!!

sexkillz:

[size=14pt]With all the rambunctious comments on this thread, this seems to be the only one with a modicum of truth. I go with this. She is LYING with Swagger! I mean, "She told me she'd had some intimate relation with the dude last year, and i just shrugged it off."
Just a shrug off? She expected you to flare up, and you did not! So she had to try again. "This past thursday she casually told me she had se.x with him on tuesday." How possible? You dont just re enter two people's lives and start announcing your sex[i]u[/i]al activities. NO NO NO! It has to be kept secret for a while at least! It has to be a war! But she wants you to start that war your own self, so she is lying to you. I can bet my laptop charger that she is also lying to your boyfriend. She doesnt want to see you two together, so this seems to be the only way forward. . .

I could be wrong, and you can be wrong too. The only way to find out is to ask him. And when asking him, ask him POINTBLANK, and when he is not expecting. Ask him as a matter of fact, and not just " So so & so said you slept with her! Just go straight and ask, "Why the bloody hell would you have to sleep with so so and so?
I guess you are good at detecting emotions, you should know who is lying when you see one! I commend your ability to keep cool on two occasions though, after hearing such nonsense. . . Quite rare!
Make sure you ask him first before you take any decision. . .[/size]

Well done. Don't push her to the path of destruction. Does the guy love her? Does he want to spend his rest of his life with her? Are they even in a relationship because they have not declared their stands? Are you aiding sex amongst 2 pple who don't know their bearing and are you asking her to put up with a guy dt gets high? So its ok for 2 friends to sleep with the same guy at yearly or monthly interval? Are you saying she doesn't deserve something better and more solid. Please you and I both know she needs to move on from childish occurrences and mingle with a matured mind. She deserves better, far more better.

Lets put aside her female friend, what commitments has the guy showed her aside intimacy? Please answer what the 3 years younger guy has done to make her happy? Except we are saying FWB is worth having an heartache over then I might as well tie you down with that.

Amya:

I think i'll really want to talk to him about everything, cos only then can i truly move on.

[size=14pt]Good! You just made my evening. . . Good evening to you too! [/size]

Cuddlemii:

^^ I don't care about her friend in question.

Cuddlemii:
I just need to know she in the right relationship with the right guy and the right commitment.

Cuddlemii:
If the guy is not on the same wave length [b](which is obvious) she should move on because prevention is better than cure.

Cuddlemii:
She deserves better. Well we all have our opinions. At the end, its her decision to make.