nnemdi i saw your post and i was impressed that there are still women out there who still truly believe in love,morality,family and societal values.people like you are rare and hard to come by.there is almost an unseen assurance from your post that any man who marries you will enjoy marital bliss.if your views about love and marriage are exactly as you expressed them on the post then i believe that both of us can become compatible sometime in future.i am an igbo by tribe from onitsha in anambra stae and a lawyer.i am also a roman catholic by faith.its too good to be true but i saw all the qualities i a m looking for in my future wife in your post.take care.

@OP: yes sister it's VERY normal. 
And i wish you the best of luck in your search
and happiness when you find mr. right.
Just take your time and be patient. God will
deliver him to you, just don't settle!! Read and watch
for the signs dear. He's coming.

Omo some pipu no get job oo. see SERMONS ,wannabe Oprahs and potential Dr Phils Chei!!!!!

It is the same problem that women are facing in the states, this case will always come up,
most nija guys do not want to mingle with nija babes to the extent of marriage because the consider it a risk, how? the believe that as a lady having stayed abroad that you have embraced the foreign lifestyle,

africans respect marriage and the woman are demanded by the society to be humble to some extent, but the americans do not have respect for marriage even though, they want to marry,

nigerian men being wise, do everything to avoid nija women because if they have embraced the foreign culture and combined with the nija wisdom trait, they would rough handle the man, this is what nija guys are avoiding,


another thing is the issue of sex, this western women love sex, and the know in an out of it, but the nija girls are still somewhat timid even after they have lived abroad, the guys do not want to keep up with that anymore

Most girls that claim to be desperate for love have no idea what they are talking about and aren't ready for love in the first place. I dated a girl like that. To the entire world, she was a paragon of virtue and wanted to get married so badly. It wasn't until I started dating her that I realized she was a carnal, gold-digging, selfish, emotional mess! There was no way I was going to marry that one for house oh! I know better now, I always avoid all those holier-than-thou desperadoes! The desperation is always a cover for an inner deficiency they are looking for a man to feel but that only God can fill.

babe, i wish u the best at least u still remember wur ur from and u know what u want not like this girls that want a quickie's

Love_Decay:

babe, i wish u the best at least u still remember wur your from and u know what u want not like this girls that want a quickie's

Nothing wrong with girls that want a quickie.

Anuofia! No spoil market.

Babe, its just a phase, it will soon pass. Give yourself time, the feelings will go. You won't even want to marry again. YOU GO SEE LOVE YOU GO RUN.

hey dont worry,is normal.im good and ready for u,live in the uk,working and a christain.i know u might think im weird,but do leave me a message on my mail:osas89@yahoo.co.uk, schooled in the east of nigeria before leaving out.op u take a step of faith.

@tpacalipse.i love nl,people with experience are full here.u go see love u run,u know go even think of marrie again, theres a problem with a mariage institution,mariage is only sweet wen u are dating once u sign dat paper, certificate of mariage u kill dat mariage.

ezzykay:

hey dont worry,is normal.im good and ready for u,live in the uk,working and a christain.i know u might think im weird,but do leave me a message on my mail:osas89@yahoo.co.uk, schooled in the east of nigeria before leaving out.op u take a step of faith.

;DStory!!!

I can see some dudes have turned to emergency suitors here on NL, Una wan chop Canadian dollars abi?, Una neva start!!

ceejayluv:

I can see some dudes have turned to emergency suitors here on NL, Una wan chop Canadian dollars abi?, Una neva start!!

no mind them, after them go say i just returned to nigeria- OP ;Dcanadian dollars ni, canadian dollars ko

Mrs, Chima:

I know it would be hard for you to believe, but NOT ALL WOMEN ARE DESPERATE.   The same thing for men who are desperate for wives and AREN'T WILLING to admit it.  

You are right. There are also men who are desperate to get married but won't admit it. But I find that naturally the issue of biological clock more likely makes women more desperate than men to get married, especially when they are approaching the age of, say, 40. Nevertheless, desperation makes people to make imprudent decisions.

Sagamite:

Nothing wrong with girls that want a quickie.

Anuofia! No spoil market.

SagaMIGHTY!!!

no love on my birthday bro?! what's good?

Young lady,dis is my advice to U̶̲̥̅̊
1.If U̶̲̥̅̊ av bn living pompous lifestyle try and adjust downward cos many honest guys are not pompous in nature
2.the society has grown so complex dt parent don't dictate ur life for U̶̲̥̅̊,U̶̲̥̅̊ do dis respectfully.
3. U̶̲̥̅̊ are still young forget what ur counterpart has achieved,if U̶̲̥̅̊ continue to be looking at dis U̶̲̥̅̊ will be completely derailed as destinies are different.
4.Focus more on prayers there nothing to difficult for God to do,who knows it might be spiritual problem.
5.Don't narrow ur choice to tribe.
6.Lastly,if U̶̲̥̅̊ still believe is only man dt initiate d stuff,U̶̲̥̅̊ r very wrong,cos most of d honest guys are very shy,so if U̶̲̥̅̊ see a guy dt loves U̶̲̥̅̊ nd U̶̲̥̅̊ love too U̶̲̥̅̊ can brake d silence by doin smt like dis wat says d time, pls let me see dt novel,sorry when is d program starting,and so on

Neva allow d present situation to demoralise U̶̲̥̅̊ atall cos in not to distant time I see U̶̲̥̅̊ as mama charles,chinyere etc

MsDarkSkin:

SagaMIGHTY!!!

no love on my birthday bro?! what's good?

Awww!

Happy birthday, babes.

So you are 18 today. Don't worry, 3 more years and you can legally drink.

Sagamite:

Awww!

Happy birthday, babes.

So you are 18 today. Don't worry, 3 more years and you can legally drink.

aariwa:

nnemdi i saw your post and i was impressed that there are still women out there who still truly believe in love,morality,family and societal values.people like you are rare and hard to come by.there is almost an unseen assurance from your post that any man who marries you will enjoy marital bliss.if your views about love and marriage are exactly as you expressed them on the post then i believe that both of us can become compatible sometime in future.i am an igbo by tribe from onitsha in anambra stae and a lawyer.i am also a roman catholic by faith.please my email is arinzeblue2004@yahoo.com.its too good to be true but i saw all the qualities i a m looking for in my future wife in your post.take care.

See how u won take get wife like play like play.But the question is,can she marry a guy with no money?99% of 9ja girls love money and the left over 1% are rare to come by.Well for me,i am tired of gals like dis signing marriage into my ear when i am just a little above her age.I guess it's because the boy is smiling with luxuries, LOL.Gal i wish you the best of luck and try to connect with aariwa,it might work out you don't know.My advice friend.Try get money if not no think am. at our 9ja gals.

Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ladies are too desperate to get married this days.It irritates me with style.

The desperation shown by some of our naija sisters, when it comes to marriage, is a turn-off . Focus on career, and achieving goals that will make you advance in life and in due time the right man will come. Act too desperate and the men will flee---- true story. Goodluck.

p.s: "99 problems but a man aint one" . This should be your motto.

I see Many of our brothers dating non Nigerian ladies all the time but when it comes down to marriage I will tell you this !! From London to Texas and in between, Most end up with Nigerian women.

I have seen quite a number of guys swear they shall have nothing to do with Naija women and after a number of years we are attending a Naija wedding with both parties being full blooded Nigerians.

When I asked one of my friends,he said his bad experiences was a thing of the past, he would now be settling  down with his girlfriend from Naija
A former workmate told me his parents warned him they will disown him if he brings home a foreign girl so he had no choice but had to marry a girl from his home town  
Well what can I say, our preferences and priorities change as we mature

aariwa:

nnemdi i saw your post and i was impressed that there are still women out there who still truly believe in love,morality,family and societal values.people like you are rare and hard to come by.there is almost an unseen assurance from your post that any man who marries you will enjoy marital bliss.if your views about love and marriage are exactly as you expressed them on the post then i believe that both of us can become compatible sometime in future.i am an igbo by tribe from onitsha in anambra stae and a lawyer.i am also a roman catholic by faith.please my email is arinzeblue2004@yahoo.com.its too good to be true but i saw all the qualities i a m looking for in my future wife in your post.take care.

Setting P are we? NL dudes no dey waste time at all.

OP: Yes it is normal to want to have someone special in your life. Desperation on the other hand is a HUGE turn off for both men and women.
One can tell when a man/women is desperate. Beware before you end up in the wrong hands.

Freesia:

I see Many of our brothers dating non Nigerian ladies all the time but when it comes down to marriage I will tell you this !! From London to Texas and in between, Most end up with Nigerian women.

I have seen quite a number of guys swear they shall have nothing to do with Naija women and after a number of years we are attending a Naija wedding with both parties being full blooded Nigerians.

When I asked one of my friends,he said his bad experiences was a thing of the past, he would now be settling  down with his girlfriend from Naija
A former workmate told me his parents warned him they will disown him if he brings home a foreign girl so he had no choice but had to marry a girl from his home town  
Well what can I say, our preferences and priorities change as we mature

What kind of wuss is that?

I don't think my parents will ever doubt where I would tell them to go (with all due respect) if they ever had the audacity to tell me such.

They know who they have as a son.

It is normal to feel that way but the truth you have to leave everything into the hands of god . Just give god ultimatum he will surely provide the right person . Along the line do not involve ursef in any immorality with any man so that when god visit u he will see u holy n he will answer ur prayer. Any man that comes ur way let him prove himself . Pls fun with him and the best man will stay

We still have some good christians brothers and sisters out there but the truth we all compromise our faith which in the end have bad effect on oursef and future . A relationship that is base on immorality never last. Take a look at what is happenning in the world today . Just continue to disturb god with ur demand and specific . He will surely give u the right person . He is not sleeping he knows wat u need even b4 u ask . Wat if u marry now and divorce . I know dat is not ur portion in jesus name . God knows d right time and the right man. Pls do not allow people to take good advantage of u . Let men prove themselves.

Freesia:

I see Many of our brothers dating non Nigerian ladies all the time but when it comes down to marriage I will tell you this !! From London to Texas and in between, Most end up with Nigerian women.

I have seen quite a number of guys swear they shall have nothing to do with Naija women and after a number of years we are attending a Naija wedding with both parties being full blooded Nigerians.

When I asked one of my friends,he said his bad experiences was a thing of the past, he would now be settling  down with his girlfriend from Naija
A former workmate told me his parents warned him they will disown him if he brings home a foreign girl so he had no choice but had to marry a girl from his home town  
Well what can I say, our preferences and priorities change as we mature

The main point is that most Naija guys living in the West usually dont marry Nigerian girls that were born in the West or presently living in the West. As you highlighted in your post, guymen would rather go back to his villlage and marry a girl who is a lesser feminist compared to what is obtainable from Nigeria girls living in Western nations like US, Canada and UK.

@ Poster

I am a typical 9NJA Man if u marry me at the end of the month or week as the case maybe u must submit ur payslip and i will gracefully give u a handout.

B4 you buy anything i must approve.

You cannot use your name to buy landed property, if u have money or take loan you will use my name.

You must obey me at all cost

I reserve the right to give you a few slap when need be without fearing police or deportation.

Actually a friend of mine was deported for slapping the woman he paid her bride price the poor Guy is a conductor in Ikotun

With all this in mind i can MARRY the pepperless

I am just sick and tired of the statement that we from the west don't marry out of love. No one I know in my culture married out of family pressure or out of poverty. We marry because we love that person just like Nigerians we have our culture. We don't accept cheating,beating or any form of abuse. If talking and counseeling doesn't help to change our partner then the best thing to do is get a divorce. That's the last option cause no one wants to divorce be u black or white.

We as western women work hard for our family we put in as much as the men financially. So why put up with his cheating or abusive habit. Marriage is abt mutual respect.

I will leave u with this quote: marriage is not a place where u stand up for ure rights."Marriage is a decision to serve the other.

chillbabe:

I am just sick and tired of the statement that we from the west don't marry out of love. No one I know in my culture married out of family pressure or out of poverty. We marry because we love that person just like Nigerians we have our culture. We don't accept cheating,beating or any form of abuse. If talking and counseeling doesn't help to change our partner then the best thing to do is get a divorce. That's the last option cause no one wants to divorce be u black or white.

We as western women work hard for our family we put in as much as the men financially. So why put up with his cheating or abusive habit. Marriage is abt mutual respect.

I will leave u with this quote: marriage is not a place where u stand up for ure rights."Marriage is a decision to serve the other.

When you say "we", who are "we"?

Whites? Nigerians in the West? Other?

Not a Nigerian. Am ducth.