I mean dutch from holland married to a Nigerian and left my work,family and everything I had to settle with him in Nigeria and I always hear that statement want it pisses me of.

chillbabe:

I mean dutch from holland married to a Nigerian and left my work,family and everything I had to settle with him in Nigeria and I always hear that statement want it pisses me of.

Wow!

No 1, who said white people don't marry out of love. That must be one of the dumbest statements I have heard in my life. If whites don't marry out of love then which race in the world does?

No 2, I am not going to ask if you are enjoying Nigeria, are you baring it well? What city in Nigeria are you based in?

One dumb ass made that statement in the early reply's and I hear it often here in Nigeria. Am based in Abuja and yeah I enjoy it,apart from the people who are trying to convince me from throwing my culture overboard and become a real Nigerian lol I think eating the food is good enough don't u think Sagamite

 really understood how you feel.  just want you to take your time so that, some men would not take advantage of you. Also, it's good to understand that, you were uniquely created, your own divine time table can never be the same with your friends', One can only achieve a positive change that'll stand the taste of time if he/she is sincere with himself. However, implore you to act further by asking yourself questions like; "'m  truly ready to settle down?, what are those attributes that  may put up that can make my spouse clue to me? What do  need to understand about "conflict resolution" in marriage? What are those qualities  require of a man/woman? Do  posses such qualities myself?  just pray, the Lord would guide you because, marriage is like a "T" junction that determines man's destiny. When once you miss it, you miss all. Good luck!

to every one who gave me an honest response, thank u so much. i needed to hear that.

and just to address some general point,
when i said i was desperate, its just a feeling i have inside,
it does not mean i go around showing the whole world my desperation,
i only wanted to know if its normal to feel this way, cos i never feel desperate, i am a very confident woman. i am smart, beautiful, career minded, fit, an amazing cook{especially okazi and affang }, a lover of Jesus christ and above all i come from an amazing family,
i'm not that insecure girl that needs a man to supply all my needs according to his riches in his bank account.  even though he has to be very comfortable, when i say he has to be comfortable and career minded, i am not being selfish, he just has to be able to provide for the children he brings into the world, not for me.

ALSO, when i say my family pressures me into finding a man, they are not forcing me into some arranged marriage crap
my both parents are very educated and they are still pursing education even at their old age.
their theory: they believe that anyone can achieve all their goals in life even if they have a husband. having a wife or a husband does and should not limit you.

when i said western culture, i meant the rate of divorce; how women always want to act like the boss, and how most people dnt understand the value of family and marriage.
call me stupid but i dnt believe in divorce. even though i want to achieve every educational height in this world, i still believe the man should be the head of the family.
that how my bible says it should be.
ALSO,i think if two people love themselves enough to commit to marriage, they should be able to back their union up with prayers, understanding, sacrifice and lots and lots of patience
you just dnt meet some1 for two weeks and marry him/her.
its just common self

@ chillbabe, i have nothing to say to you, but remember this: AFRICAN WOMEN ALSO WORK VERY HARD FOR OUR FAMILY, AND WE PUT IN AS MUCH AS WE CAN FINANCIALLY TOWARDS THE FAMILY WELL BEING. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS THIS : WE DON'T BRING OUR MEN DOWN AND MAKE THEM FEEL SMALL AND LESS A MAN. WE HELP THEM, SUPPORT THEM , LOVE THEM AND STILL LET THEM BE THE MAN.
BUT HEY, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION, SO NO OFFENSE TAKEN.

ALSO, TO ALL THOSE CRITICIZING THE FACT I SAID I AM A CHRISTIAN, GO AHEAD AND MAKE YOURSELVES HAPPY,
THE FACT THAT I SAID I AM A CHRISTIAN DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE NEVER SINNED AGAINST GOD OR MADE MISTAKES IN MY LIFE.
I JUST THINK YA'LL ARE IGNORANT SO I AM JUST GOING TO IGNORE YOU.

At poster where in my post did I say that african women don't work hard? So are u saying we bring our men down don't respect them and don't support them? U must be kidding me. I didn't attack anybody in my post I only corrected a statement a poster made. And it seems I was right after all with your above statement.

U know what surprises me why do Africans always go to our schools and want to life in the west if nothing about us is good?

Nice one Nnemdi, you have said it all. im in toronto, which city are uÉ

Nnemdi

list some of your weaknesses as well, not only your strengths.

Not necessarily on this thread, but in your interactions with others- especially men who may be interested in you.

Just a thought and not set in stone.

MR TPIA@
I DO HAVE MY WEAKNESS AS WELL, ONE OF THEM IS NOT "DESPERATION."
MY RESPONSE WAS MADE TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT I PLAYED OUT MY DESPERATION TO MEN ON THE STREET.
ITS HOW I FEEL INSIDE, I HAVE NOTHING TO BE DESPERATE ABOUT.

BUT IN MY DEFENSE, I DO HAVE FAULTS, ALOT OF FAULTS ACTUALLY, EVERY1 DOES,
AND WHEN I MEET MEN I DONT PRETEND TO BE WHO I AM NOT.
I'M NOT THAT TYPICAL GIRL THAT STARTS OUT BY PLAYING THE "I AM A SHY GIRL GAME" AND THEN HER TRUE COLOUR COMES OUT EVENTUALLY
I AM REAL TO A FAULT, I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FAKE IT,
BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, I AM NOT SEARCHING FOR MR PERFECT, JUST SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT.

THNAKS ALL THE SAME.

^Cool.

Hi, please my dear i just want you to know that in life there is an END to every thing in life except change its selve, so also there is beginning. The only furtune and prudent tool you requared is patient and prayer. Remember he who is in a haste to reach his destination may end up not reaching his destination. Wait till the appointed time it will work for it self. emmastalwart@yahoo.com 08157642001

Nnemdi21 you have received very good advice from many on this forum,Just remember God's time is best and remain prayerful about the man you want in your life.

Metalgoong:

The main point is that most Naija guys living in the West usually dont marry Nigerian girls that were born in the West or presently living in the West. As you highlighted in your post, guymen would rather go back to his villlage and marry a girl who is a lesser feminist compared to what is obtainable from Nigeria girls living in Western nations like US, Canada and UK.

Not necessarily true,It's not guaranteed that because you went back home to get a bride your marriage will be a solid one.Keep an open mind there are some African girls raised in the west who are just as respectful and good. Same way there are some wayward ones back home

Nice one Nnemdi, you have said it all. i live in toronto, which city are u liveÉÉÉ

steve na wa ohh. ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d

im not kidding nnemdi, are u living in toronto tooÉ

no i'm not

U don't need to feel desperate,someday u will be so heavy(pregnant) that u will remember the day you were eager to join that club.
searching for the exceptional guy;mail me:young.alex34@yahoo.co.uk

@ Nnemdi21 just wanted to know if your preferences have changed from the last time or will you make a choice that falls near what your parents expect from you for the sake of peace.
Reason I ask is because just like you I was stuck with my own choice and what my parents wanted which were two different things

freesia,

are u referring to the thread i made a while back?
about yoruba vs igbo?
jst wanted to be sure before i give u my honest response

Goodluck in finding your "christian man". I do hope you are aware that religion has abdolutely no role to play in human relationships, that means that a christian man doesn't necessarily translate to decency, good morals e.t.c; it may well be the exact opposite.

bravedude:



See how u won take get wife like play like play.But the question is,can she marry a guy with no money?99% of 9ja girls love money and the left over 1% are rare to come by.Well for me,i am tired of gals like dis signing marriage into my ear when i am just a little above her age.I guess it's because the boy is smiling with luxuries, LOL.Gal i wish you the best of luck and try to connect with aariwa,it might work out you don't know.My advice friend.Try get money if not no think am.   at our 9ja gals.

so weird that OP's post alone defines all he wants in a woman. one would expect any reader to understand from the tenor of her speech on this post that she wants a serious relationship and not to be taken advantage of. be that as it may, a few questions for OP:

1. You noted that you have been in a few relationships in the past, may I ask why you decided to quit (break up). perhaps one can start understanding your likes and turn-off's in a relationship

2. you talked about desiring a ''comfortable man'' - this is actually a relative term. what is your definition of a comfortable man? are you sure you have not set unrealistic standards/expectations from an ''ideal'' man for yourself? while one lady may be satisfied with a guy who earns $12,000 p/a, another may not be satisfied with a guy who earns $60,000 & she may be poised to turn him down if he proposes because she believes such a guy can never meet family needs with his stipend.

3. how socially amiable do you think you are? hope you socialise very well and wear a cheerful countenance? it sometimes draw people (particularly potential suitors) closer. in other words, do you snob others- particularly people you assume that they dont fall within your 'set standards'

chillbabe:

One dumb Bottom made that statement in the early reply's and I hear it often here in Nigeria. Am based in Abuja and yeah I enjoy it,apart from the people who are trying to convince me from throwing my culture overboard and become a real Nigerian lol I think eating the food is good enough don't u think Sagamite

Keep your culture, sweetie. Don't let any busybody, intrusive ediot tell you what you should be.

Your only obligation is to respect the local people's right to express and engage in their culture. You owe no one the necessity to join in, if you don't want to.

If you prefer all things Dutch to all things Nigerian, nothing wrong with that. It is your preference.

nnemdi21:

no i'm not

See you.

Dem dey try hit on you, you dey front.

You dey shakara.

Yeye girl.

"No tosh me o"

"Steve na wah o"

"Why you wan know where live o"

Na Shakara!

You better start responding "right" to his enquiries.

claremont, when i said i wanted a christian man i meant some1 who believes in the same faith as me.
IS THERE ANYTHING bad in wanting to marry some1 WHO shares your religion, its just my personal choice.

i am not looking for a "praise the LORD hallelujah kind of man"
COS I KNOW THAT SO MANY MEN IN CHURCH ARE WOLFS IN SHEEP CLOTHING
I AM NOT HUSBAND HUNTING FOR MEN IN CHURCH.
IT DOES NOT MATTER WHERE I MEET HIM BUT HE HAS TO SHARE MY RELIGION AND FAITH, IT JUST MAKES IT EASIER WHEN WE ARE HAVING KIDS, SO WE BRING THEM UP UNDER ONE BELIEVE/RELIGION.
I KNOW religion has nothing to do with relationshipS BUT IT MAKES IT EASIER TO KNOW THAT SOME1 SHARES IN YOUR FAITH.

@SAGAMITE, LMAOO, I AM REALLY NOT DOING SHAKARA, I'M SURE STEVE IS AN AMAZING GUY , BUT,
I JUST HAVE NEVER MET SOME1 ONLINE BEFORE, THE IDEA OF ONLINE DATING OR MEETING SOME1 ONLINE SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME

@Sagamite, you are the best. @Nnemdi, well me too i dont really take this online relationship thing serious. you mentioned u are living in canada that was why i wanted to get to know you.

nnemdi21:

@SAGAMITE, LMAOO, I AM REALLY NOT DOING SHAKARA,  I'M SURE STEVE IS AN AMAZING GUY , BUT,
I JUST HAVE NEVER MET SOME1 ONLINE BEFORE, THE IDEA OF ONLINE DATING OR MEETING SOME1 ONLINE SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME

And so?

You think all or most of the humans beings on Earth that go online are psychos? No be people like you, me and steve that are online?

I can speak for myself, I am very hot and any woman will desire me. I pretty sure steve is a good looking man too, but you will never know unless you at least get some initial contact.

This is the world of technology. You can engage remotely (Instant messager, skype, bb etc), so what is the harm in chatting on the phone or camera?

Abegi! Start initiating. Both of you put your emails on your profile.

na so @ mi broda Sagamite. at least no harm in trying,

sagamanta! you are the man! Nnemdi, I believe Steve is cool too! Get to know him.

Sagamite:

And so?

You think the humans beings on Earth that go online a psychos? No be people like you, me and steve that are online?

I can speak for myself, I am very hot and any woman will desire me. I pretty sure steve is a good looking man too, but you will never know unless you at least get some initial contact.

This is the world of technology. You can engage remotely (Instant messager, skype, bb etc), so what is the harm in chatting on the phone or camera?

Abegi! Start initiating. Both of you put your emails on your profile.

Buahahahahahahaahaaa really?

chika98:

Buahahahahahahaahaaa really?

I swear!

[flash=400,350]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjQMzW4KaaQ[/flash]

Sagamite:

I swear!

Good for you

CHAI SAGAMITE, U MAKE ME LOOK SO BAD ,
BUT U ARE RIGHT THO

STEVE DNT WORRY, I WILL EMAIL U