Is She Hiding In The Closet? - Romance - Nairaland
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After 4 Yrs Together, I Discovered Wat My GF Has Been Hiding From Me. + (pic) / Disney Star Raven-symonè Sorta Comes Out Of The Closet Via Twitter / Why Do Some Men Prefer Closet Freaks? (2) (3) (4)
| Is She Hiding In The Closet? by nuffindome(f): 3:20am On Dec 27, 2011 |
I have a weird feeling that my best friend of almost 15 years is a lesbian. I have known her since 9ja days. Somehow we reconnected since we both moved to the USA….Let me explain some scenarios to y’all. I always go visit her almost every other summer, we always have a good time, shopping, movies, dinners, lunch etc….and she visits me too let’s just say she’s my best friend, We talk about almost everything…BUT I have never heard her talk about any man to me before, NEVER; I MEAN NEVER. I would tell her about my escapade with men, and all that girly stuff women go through in relationships…I will tend to ask her jokingly so who are u dating now and all…her response all the time “, The right guy will come; some day somehow…….She has been saying that for a really long time now .So I push further and ask…any new guy, old guy that I should know…she always somehow seem to find a way to derail from that topic. Anyways, I remember vividly something that happened 2 summers ago when I visited her…we were dressing to go to this party like that and she was like…look how pretty u’re now all the guys will be hitting on u , she was kinda mad that I looked fine, (still not sure why)…she said it like a joke, but somehow I always replay that in my BIG HEAD when I think that she might be a lesbian…The creepiest thing is that she sends me messages on my phone..like Hi Love, how’s ur day going?, The weirdest message was this year Thanksgiving I received a message which read something like…”Hello love, please know that I love you even though we don’t live in the same state’….I still didn’t get where she was coming from…I was still thinking SISTERLY LOVE, but the last resort was this Xmas, I called to wish her a merry Xmas, and she was like, she wished I was visiting her this Xmas, that this Xmas is so boring and all that BS, …Let's just say I indirectly hung up the phone, cos the conversation was get more than awkward, I have spoken to her since then, and I plan not to until I get to the bottom of this, I think the final straw that concludes the fact that I think my best friend might be lesbian is that every time I talk about a new guy I’m seeing and all…she always has something negative to say about it, She’s always against any relationship I’m in…I mean ALWAYS…She always find something wrong with the guy…She has never said anything positive about my bfs…I MEAN NEVER. Long story short, is my best friend into me?…For me I’m totally straight…TOTALLY, [/b]but could she really be hiding in the closet? Could she have been making all these moves thinking that I would succumb, [b]and I’m just being so so slow…, She’s at least 9 years older than me…almost 33, not married, no kids, All her younger siblings have married and left her behind, This stuff is confusing the heck outta me, Please I need your insights, I have to be careful when next I visit her…or maybe not even go at all. I don’t want to be wooed….how do I confront her without ruining our friendship, For me I feel like she’s 100% lesbo, but damn to want to try to hit on me like that….eeeww…nasty. Your honest opinion on how to go about this will mean a lot to me, I don't want to carry this baggage with me till 2012. Is she really a lesbian, or am I taking her sisterly love for granted, |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by freecocoa(f): 4:18am On Dec 27, 2011 |
In all you wrote,apart from that she doesn't have a man since you've known her and that she talks ill of your BFs,I see no other sign of les*bian*ism in her,I mean those notes seem pretty normal to me especially with the way people use pet names nowadays,I sure write notes like that to my gals but i do boys and have never thought of other ladies in that manner, if you think those notes are enough to term her a lesbo then I guess I'm yet to ascertain my sexuality. I must say the manless state of hers is something to ponder about. |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by nuffindome(f): 4:22am On Dec 27, 2011 |
LMAO, @ manless state, lol, She has never talked about a guy, before, NEVER, You know how women joke around and say, "hey that guy is cute right", 'etc, she has never said anything like that before, that part definitely worries me, I don't want to bring up that discussion, cos what if she's really not interested in guys, then what is she really interested in, at that age, just sounds a bit scary to me, that's all, |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by omega25red(m): 4:23am On Dec 27, 2011 |
hmm you seem to be very hyper sensitive. so what if she is a lesbian? what does that mean for you? would she still be your friend or is the friendship over? have you ever considered that instead of her being a lesbian, she could just have had some really bad relationships which has left her jaded by guys or maybe she is hiv positive and is still dealing with how she got it or she could just be an Asexual person. Even if she was a lesbian does that mean she is automatically into you? do yourself a favor and ask her out right because if you are going to act like a child and hang up on her when she calls or not pick up calls because someone refers to you as love then you might as well ask her and if that destroys the friendship then so be it you were already backing out anyway. |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by nuffindome(f): 4:34am On Dec 27, 2011 |
omega25red: word, gbam, thanks for that |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by freecocoa(f): 4:37am On Dec 27, 2011 |
Omega has very good points,I thought of those too,anyhow you look at it something has got to be her reason for staying that way,something may have happened to her or she's Asexual or she's a lesbo you never know, the best thing to do is like really talk to her like a friend would,if you've been great friends from the onset(which I somehow don't believe)she should be able to talk to you,this is your supposed besty we are talking about here,c'mon we all know what it means to be someone's besty and to be honest with you,your friendship with her from what I read cannot be classed as that of "best friends" |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by lepasharon(f): 4:46am On Dec 27, 2011 |
Hmmm, does she dress masculine?Does she like do things you will expect guys to do?Like ride a bike,play basketball? |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by freecocoa(f): 4:48am On Dec 27, 2011 |
^ What has that got to do with anything please? |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by eatme: 4:52am On Dec 27, 2011 |
OMG, I can't believe you're discussing me on NairaLand!!!!!! |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by mashnino(m): 9:33am On Dec 27, 2011 |
Now you are doing the reverse
|
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Flashaldrin(m): 10:26am On Dec 27, 2011 |
eatme:  for real?? |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Nobody: 10:42am On Dec 27, 2011 |
I get a feeling you don't knw your friend so well. As someone remarked, you are definitely hyperactive and it shows in your posts. Looking at your posts, I am unable to find any indication at all that your friend is les.bian. Your hyperactive state doesn't even help in the least in interpreting you correctly. For all we know, she might have a guy in the background and what if she sees you as too immature to share her secret thoughts? Try discover the true nature of your friend, online and offline, because racing to such selfish thoughts which appear only to glorify you. . .  |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Flashaldrin(m): 10:53am On Dec 27, 2011 |
dude, i think your post was too harsh, i didnt see anywhere in the post where the op was glorifying herself. this are just her basic observations and there is a very good chance she is right. I would think so too. there is a dude that keeps telling me all these i love you gist, calls me romantic names and he doesn't have a girlfriend. would i be so guilty if i think him gay?? |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Goldieluks: 11:54am On Dec 27, 2011 |
OP. This is one of the disadvantage of having a best friend who is far older thaan you,because sometimes they see you as not matured enough to share their intimate relationship with. But if it were someone around your age group,it is more easier to share stuffs such as this. I think your scared and I don't think you are close to her as much as you painted it, bcause if you are actually free with her I see no reason why you shouldn't ask her to her face. Am as free as that when it comes to my friends/best friend. Ask her instead of insinuating what she might or might not be. Who knows she might have experienced bitter relationships with guys or maybe she is actually a lesbian. You'd only find out the truth by asking her. |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Chimezie198(m): 12:22pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
@op YES! She's hiding inside the bathroom! [color=#770077][/color] |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by freecocoa(f): 1:41pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
Flashaldrin:Don't get it twisted,the type of relationship that exist amongst females is not the same with that of males. Girls can hold hands when walking on the streets,hug,lap one another,peck each other,write notes with words like,love,sweety etc without being lesbos but its not like that with boys,you hardly see boys holding hands or pecking let alone telling each other of love,check that your friend well. |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Kslib(m): 3:29pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
Erm op!she may or may not be a lesbian.but the chances of her being 1,nd dat of her nt being is 60:40.She's definately hiding something,find out what that is.DAT'S YOUR MISSION! |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by nuffindome(f): 7:20pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
This post don land me for hot water, time to have a matured grown up discussion with my friend, yáll wish me luck, This stuff is serious, |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Nobody: 7:58pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
Flashaldrin:Isn't it apparent poster is not quite generous in claiming that her friend is attracted to her. Why to her and not to someone else? her post is so full of "I"s and with details about how she is "totally straight" and doesn't like how her friend ogles her. I wonder what that is if not self-glorification!  |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Nobody: 8:03pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
[s]poster sorry to sound rude or be blatant but you are full of it. it is OBVIOUS she has feelings for you. There is so much you understand about her unlike the average man. The most successful relationships begin AS friendships. You establish your likes and dislikes, a bond, a kinship and trust. All key important factors in relationships. Obviously she has some love for you.  She can talk to you about ANYTHING other than other men and yet you question whether or not she likes you? Seriously? She gets mad because you may look attractive to other women and yet you can't read between the lines? l3sbian my yansh! You and i both know you don't suspect her of l3sbianism. She likes you and you are in denial.  [/s]VOID!! running my mouth as usual.  |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by freecocoa(f): 8:08pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
Okay Msdark I'm kinda confused,are you being sarcastic? cos I don't get the"she likes you and you are in denial" like her as in lesbo or just like? |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Nobody: 8:11pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
freecocoa: yeah i had to re-read it. just realized the poster is female. ok she might be g@y then. |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by freecocoa(f): 8:18pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
^ You are one crazy and funny gal.   |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by bekay911(f): 8:21pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
Well she might nt be a lesbo jjust dat she is not into guys n she may nt consider u old enuf to discuss her sexualty n r/ships wit u |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by nuffindome(f): 9:11pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
All of una wey dey yab me, all of una don dey madt, lol, long story short, yes i spoke to my friend, and yes she needs help, cos she's a lesbian, I'm going to post another thread where I can discuss what she told me and maybe some of yáll can help me help her, I love this site already and I'm so new on here, I appreciate all of your comments, noone knows you as much as you do, so I know myself and I know my friend, nuff said, Love yáll, |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Nobody: 9:22pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
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| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Nobody: 9:24pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
nuffindome:No, she doesn't need help. She is who she is. Quit making her feel guilty with your actions. A g/ay individual can't really use your friendship, since you'd think such person needs help. If she told you wierd, self-implicating, sorry stuffs, your job is to discourage her from thinking something is wrong with her. You'd start off best with this by first eliminating that crippling thought that she has a problem!! |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by nuffindome(f): 9:34pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
sauer:I appreciate your comment, I will always be her friend, but based on the discussion we had, she tells me she does need help, so I will always be there for her, peroid, Thanks again, There is absolutely nothing wrong with her, but she has sure been through a lot, we live in a society where you are judged by everything, and trust me I am not just one of those ppl, I love her as my friend and I will be the best friend I can to her, I am not perfect myself, my own issues full ground remain; and I would definitely hate for anyone to judge me too, friendship bond stronger after our conversation for sure, |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Nobody: 10:03pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
freecocoa: @ topic: i agree with sauer. nuffindome: so she told you she is a l3sbian then? not that i am judging her or anything like that. I'm just asking because i am confused (as you can see). |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by Flashaldrin(m): 10:27pm On Dec 27, 2011 |
Flashaldrin: nuffindome:i think its time you guys start taking me serious |
| Re: Is She Hiding In The Closet? by MrsChima1(f): 2:18am On Dec 28, 2011 |
I thought I was going to read a thread about a woman hiding in a closet from OP. My bad! So what if she is gay? What's with you? |
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