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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? (27992 Views)
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I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Dbisi(f): 2:09pm On Oct 10, 2007 |
I had a problem with my husband about 2 months before our wedding, he suspected and accused me of having an affairs he later found was not true and this was after we have dated for 5 years. That broke my heart because i was a very decent girl and infact he disvirgined me after 4 years into our courtship after i had graduated from UI. He did apologise though and even though i tried to stop the wedding he begged me and made the whole world beg me i was no longer interested but it was too late. When we got married i realised i never enjoyed sex it is always pain and i tried to see if something was wrong with me, i tried to forgive him and free my mind and yet i still never enjoyed it. One day i listened to a voice mail a girl left for him of how much she enjoyed him and how he should not because of marriage forget her as he was too sweet on the bed, this broke my heart because i trusted him and now i realised its not as if he doesnt know how to make love it was my problem. Though i regret it now and feel quilty, i slept with an ex who never slept with me as a single girl and i must confess i enjoyed it, now i can't say what my problem is, i never did it after then and i still don't enjoy sex with my husband. I feel so guilty and i wish i could confess to him and ask for his forgiveness. Is it wise to do this and please if you have ever had like problem what can i do to enjoy sex with my husband. Please, this is a marital and serious and real issue will appreciate genuine and helpful advise. 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by seyz4all: 4:44pm On Oct 10, 2007 |
its in two ways |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by seyz4all: 4:50pm On Oct 10, 2007 |
i have a feeling that he is not coming up with ideas to have better sex or great sex with you, thats if he knows that u dont enjoy it, if he does then, i believe their are materials that could help you both out, as for the other lady, maybe the way he makes love to her is the same way he makes love to you, and that mite not work for you, that brings me to what i earlier said about him trying to give you the very best, hope ave been of help, anything else, |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by 2dye4(m): 5:21pm On Oct 10, 2007 |
@dbisi: av u ever heard this sayin; "there some secrets u take to your grave", well this is one of such because i know your husband will find it hard past it. reason, he once questioned your faithfulness even when he had no reason and now that u've handed him a testimony what do u think he'd say? however u can let him know how dissatsfied u are with your sexlife and seek ways to spice it up. in the mean time forgiving yourself mite be very difficult 4 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Hannibal: 8:08pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by chika98: 8:10pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Now, I know not to tell if and when i cheat on you, lol |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by chika98: 8:12pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
You want to tell your husband u slept with an ex?? Are u from planet pluto?? Just take the secret to your grave. Besides, what methods did your ex do differently from your husband?? I just don't understand how your ex gives u a real tumble and your husband can't move the earth for you . . . . . Maybe u should communicate more in the bedroom. . . . Tell your hubby how u want it done BUT never tell a man u cheated on him because u don't enjoy SEX. Marriage aint about sex alone Yes sir! I saw that! 3 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by sunshineky(m): 9:54pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Truth is u are not in love wit ur husband u just got married bc everyone was talkin. Now wahala don gas. work tins out wit him, u guys shld try spice ur marriage wit dos tins u enjoyed while datin, it could turn tins around. Pls dont tell ur husband abt d SWEET time u had else u forfit ur marriage. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by onyiidon: 11:17pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
please don't tell your hubby anything . Just tell it to God and ask God to forgive you and never you go back to such act again. Again if you are not enjoying the way your hubby touches you, please is better you teach him the way you like it, i think he will improve. For you having pains anytime you make love with him, you should try and see your doctor for proper diagnosis. NOTE: ADULTERY IS A SIN TO GOD AND MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Okijajuju1(m): 11:23pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
@ Poster Take this little secret with you to your grave. Maybe you can tell him when both of you are prolly 90. Shit happens. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 11:26pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
na wa o all these cheating people on nairaland and their advisers. Well my advise will be to confront him about that voice mail from his mistress and gather all evidence needed to prove your point and after he admits it, you release your own bomb shell so you can both start the healing process. I believe in honesty,without that,the marriage is just a sham. my opinion 4 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by rampant(f): 11:30pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Queenisha:my own opinion too,how can she live wt d man wen she's harbourung dis kind of secret,let her talk abeg and free herself,if not her conscience will judge her till she finally lands in her grave 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 11:30pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Okija_juju: That marriage will be filled with secrets after secrets. Put yourself in that man's shoes. He also cheats and she cheated once. They ought to come clean to each other and then start afresh to build a loving relationship if not,this act could haunt her forever and the other man may not be keeping it a secret and she and her husband may hear of it someday. 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 11:34pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
rampant: Most people on nairaland are unmarried so they look at this and similar topic with the eyes of a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend and think it's as simple as that when a life long commitment is at stake. What kind of wife will I be if I harbour this type of debilitating secret when a marriage is supposed to be built on a foundation of trust. They both ought to come clean and she needs him to also confront the demons of his womanizing ways. This type of deep secrets can precipitate High blood presssure if care is not taken. She'll also be a very unhappy woman 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by KarmaMod(f): 11:35pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
If the husband can keep such a secret, why cant she osisi? |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Okijajuju1(m): 11:39pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Queenisha: I have, and I wouldnt want to ever know. Dont tell me. Some thing are better left untold. 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 11:39pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
KarmaMod: Men? Don't mind them The wife here has a powerful weapon which she needs to use. She knows he's cheating too so they both need to tell each other the truth. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Hannibal: 11:43pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Queenisha: What if the husband denies the accusation?? Are u sure the voice message hasn't been deleted? |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 11:45pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Okija_juju: If that woman doesn't come clean, she's more likely to do it again and again and again. Afterall she's already used to keeping secrets. And we'retalking of a woman who claims her husband doesn't particularly rock her world in the bedroom. Obviously they both are missing something. There's no spark sexually between them. It's just a matter of time and she'll be looking for her sexy Dauda again. They ought to come clean and seek ways to enjoy each other. The man still thinks his affair is a secret so he's happily tangoing with a LovePeddler on the side thinking the wife doesn't know. 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by TheSly: 11:47pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
You would never catch me dead spewin' some sorta advises in threads like this no more. . . . . . Do what u gotta do. . . . . . . . . .and Good luck. 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 11:47pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Hannibal: She has to have concrete, solid proof beyond a voicemail message that may no longer be there. If he doesn't admit it,I won't be saying mine but before I get him to talk about it,I'll have an air tight proof. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 11:49pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
The Sly: after giving people advice that turned catastrophic,now you're no longer talking. They'll soon come after you in the spirit realm |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Hannibal: 11:59pm On Jul 23, 2008 |
Queenisha: Whats the point in confessing something as HUGE as this?? Telling/not telling her husband will not stop the cheating IF their bedroom activities don't improve. So they should just accept their fate as intimate strangers!!! 2 Likes |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by TheSly: 12:02am On Jul 24, 2008 |
Queenisha:Pray for me abeg! |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 12:03am On Jul 24, 2008 |
Hannibal: Unless they want to sentence themselves to a life with "other bed fellows" otherwise they ought to give the marriage a chance at healing and it starts with honesty. If not, they should just go their separate ways. |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 12:06am On Jul 24, 2008 |
The Sly: 2 white goats a red fowl 3 bottles of fanta 12 candles Plus a cash offering of $50,000 only meet me at Okija 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Hannibal: 12:09am On Jul 24, 2008 |
Queenisha: This is why i think pre-marital sex is very necessary!! Whats the point in keeping a wife that ain't sex compatible after spending millions on a grand wedding. If they had subjected themselves to various trials, these problem would have been exposed before marriage. . . . . Now, a well-brought up girl has been reduced to a cheating tart all because she didn't do the right thing at the right time. Ladies. . . . . . .Food for THUNK!!!! 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 12:13am On Jul 24, 2008 |
Hannibal: The man obviously must have had tons of premarital sex and now is unto extramarital sex. Sure say that your theory dey correct so |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by rampant(f): 12:13am On Jul 24, 2008 |
Hannibal: Dbisi: |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Orimili(m): 12:14am On Jul 24, 2008 |
@poster Everyone here is giving you bad advice for something as big as that. You can try to take it to your grave, but it's not going to work. One way or another, both of you are going to know about the affair. It is going to be extremely disastrous for you if you allow him to find out about it from some other means than yourself. You have to tell him what happened. Will he be angry? Yes, he will be, but not nearly as angry as he will be if he found out from his friends, or anyone else, including the guy that you had an affair with (yes, I have seen this happen). At least if you tell him, there is a chance that the both of you can work things out. If not, and he finds out, your marriage is over, as you didn't respect him enough to tell him. Not saying anything is equally as damaging to your marriage, as the both of you are going to grow very distant from each other as the guilt builds up. You have a choice of either taking your hits now, or taking even harder hits later. There is no easy way out of this, and I suggest that you take the responsibilities or your actions. You made a mistake, and your marriage is on the line. You have to fix it. As for sex advice, I am the wrong person to ask about that, as I'm not married, but how about talking to him about what you want from sex? 1 Like |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 12:15am On Jul 24, 2008 |
Orimili: |
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 12:16am On Jul 24, 2008 |
jenny I don't think you can count her losing her virginity as similar to what Hannibal is saying. It's not particularly an enjoyable act to most women. |
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