Should I Just Marry Someone Else? - Romance (2)

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Should I Just Marry Someone Else? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Just Marry Me Away!! / Do NOT Marry Someone Until You Can Honestly Answer These 20 Questions: / I Realized Women Dont Just Marry Men For Their Money Most Of The Time (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by Nobody: 9:46am On Apr 02, 2012

Goldieluks:

The voice of a hungry man. Focus on the issue at hand, not the money. Duh!.

I am trying to prevent this horrible hawk taking advantage of your vulnerability.

@OP this is one of the best advise so far, go for it.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by drcyber: 9:48am On Apr 02, 2012

@crownprince still waiting for your call or send me your number to call if you are out of airtime. If you are not coming to prove your theory, keep quiet. FYI, i send money frequently and I come home at least twice a year or how do you think she got the 2nd child? You are just too smart. Do you see me complain about the money? BTW, if you have ever had responsibility, you would what it costs to raise kids.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by LailaIkeji1: 9:53am On Apr 02, 2012

mashnino: ehn!!!!

dats like {Doing the calculation}

over 10mill

no u nid to look for her first

collect your money

if she doesn't give you....

i don't need to tell you the next action...

whip her moder-fuckin ass....

laffssssssssssssssssssssssss. soo rolling on the floor laughingg.

Swthart drcyber, i feel u. do look for her n let u two talk it out b4 u decide on wat next to do.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by Nobody: 9:54am On Apr 02, 2012

To make a lie genuine,you keep telling more lies

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by DonCarlos1(m): 10:43am On Apr 02, 2012

My guy, I no doubt ya story but e get as e be.

Where are the kids?

What is her parent's position in all this? Did u consult with them?

Do u have common friends who can intervene? Did they intervene?

What really is her grouse with your parents?

If she waited and managed with ur parents all these while, why did she suddenly snap and moved out when u were about putting things in order.

As a comfortable man why did u not get her alternative accomodation?

U may be stinkingly rich but not questioning the management of N10 million don't exactly sound prudent to me.

Is this the whole truth?

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by psoto(f): 10:53am On Apr 02, 2012

[/quote]
Crown Prince: Op,you sent almost N10million to her in hard currency and asked your mum be given a paltry N20000? This guy is a joke.
What the money meant for anywhere? To build a house? How did you bypass law enforcement agents to be able to send such huge amount?
How come a medical student abroad able to save such huge sum? Do american state now pay for an immigrant school[quote author=Crown Prince]@op,shuuut dii fucccck up!!! Sending $70000 to a woman who you are not married to is unlimited knowledge for you abi?
Look,i can contest this your fucccking theory any day any time.
ing over there?
Ol boy,this your American medical bullstory is only for vulnerable iyana paja,idumota,mushin nairaland babes.
Try harder sha...

Crown Prince: @op,shuuut dii fucccck up!!! Sending $70000 to a woman who you are not married to is unlimited knowledge for you abi?
Look,i can contest this your fucccking theory any day any time.

Crown Prince, its obvious u're jst a trouble seeker I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ everybody's post. N d annoying part is dat people like u dat claim τ̅☺ b wiser dan every oda person r very much d opposite.

@drcyber, I don't tink there's use wasting time or money sef on him.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by Goldieluks: 10:57am On Apr 02, 2012

Crown Prince: To make a lie genuine,you keep telling more lies

Shut it!!you empty skull. angry

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by 2goodbobo(m): 11:01am On Apr 02, 2012

@crownprince....I really wonder if you are really a crownprince? Please stop been senseless and take a walk if you have no meaningfull contribution to make. Somebody is seeking for advice and all you keep doing is trying to divert his attention. If you are sure of contesting his theory, why don't you give him your fone number if you are bold enough. It won't cost you a kobo if you will just keep quite since you don't have anything thing to offer on the table.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by tellwisdom: 11:02am On Apr 02, 2012

Sent a nigerian gurl 70k$. English lie wink

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by 2goodbobo(m): 11:19am On Apr 02, 2012

@crownprince....I really wonder if you are really a crownprince? Please stop been senseless and take a walk if you have no meaningful contribution to make. Somebody is seeking for advice and all you keep doing is trying to divert his attention. If you are sure of contesting his theory, why don't you give him your fone number if you are bold enough. It won't cost you a kobo if you will just keep quite since you don't have anything to offer on the table.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by tellwisdom: 11:33am On Apr 02, 2012

2goodbobo: @crownprince....I really wonder if you are really a crownprince? Please stop been senseless and take a walk if you have no meaningful contribution to make. Somebody is seeking for advice and all you keep doing is trying to divert his attention. If you are sure of contesting his theory, why don't you give him your fone number if you are bold enough. It won't cost you a kobo if you will just keep quite since you don't have anything to offer on the table.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by mykejones(m): 12:21pm On Apr 02, 2012

Do the kids know you are their father?
Since you came have you seen them?
If she's hell bent on stayin away,please let her,but hold fast to your kids. I doubt u would have a happy home if you force her against her wish.
She'l b bck 4 more money anyways,jus hold on awhile.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by chikk(f): 1:03pm On Apr 02, 2012

tellwisdom: Sent a nigerian gurl 70k$. English lie

I don't see what ur concern is here. I can kill u if it will make my kids comfortable talk more of spending some money. Its his sweat not urs and he makes it for his kids so why cant he spend it on them?
@op, i dont see why u bother urself with some people here. U must not take every crap that people post here. Some people here are undergraduates, some are jambites, some are mere teenagers. U know what u're looking for. Fish out some useful advises and ignore the rest. Simple!

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by Nobody: 1:40pm On Apr 02, 2012

Try and findout her whereabout by all means,if she doesnt take ur call den get a new line.before u decide on anytin,make sure u sit her and talk tins over wit her for d sake of ur children.meanwhile,all dis time u visitd hw come u didnt notice a drift in her attitude?cos i knw it didnt jst start all of a sudden.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by Nobody: 2:10pm On Apr 02, 2012

mykejones: Do the kids know you are their father?
Since you came have you seen them?
If she's hell bent on stayin away,please let her,but hold fast to your kids. I doubt u would have a happy home if you force her against her wish.
She'l b bck 4 more money anyways,jus hold on awhile.

Sad but, VERY VERY true. DrCyber one can only imagine what you must be going through right now, from experience noone can be forced to do what they don't want to. You've got what I believe is the best advice, take it and accept the situation as your cross to bear. Also, bear in mind that marriage with her might be even worse than your home growing up. I can tell that you don't want your kids having a difficult childhood like you did but, an unsettled chaotic monogamous family is just as devastating to a child's psyche. Just you ensure that they don't lack the basics, and a few luxuries as well. If you're interested in having custody you can lawfully do that if they have attained the age of 7(though I would advice against that). In all, goodluck and may God's wisdom guide you.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by Nobody: 2:14pm On Apr 02, 2012

mykejones: Do the kids know you are their father?
Since you came have you seen them?
If she's hell bent on stayin away,please let her,but hold fast to your kids. I doubt u would have a happy home if you force her against her wish.
She'l b bck 4 more money anyways,jus hold on awhile.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by luckgames(m): 2:14pm On Apr 02, 2012

drcyber: Many years ago I had a lady who had a kid for me. We were in college together in Nigeria but I left for the U.S to study. Both families were at war but I always hated polygamy so I decided to stick with it. She got pregnant again & I thought the war would end but it got worse. Last year I sent her $70000 to give 20k to my mum but she never did. A few weeks ago she sent me a message that she does not want to have anything to do with my family. I am home now, one of the top doctors in my field, i don't want a scattered house but she won't return my calls or see me. She has moved away. My family thinks it is good riddance but I don't want to make mistakes...I counsel people for a living and want to get it right. Serious suggestions needed.

Rule 1 don't send money to your mom through your wife or through your mom to your wife
If she doesn't have any thing to do with your family- == she can't be your wife ( in Nigeria you marry family)
A wife having good relation with family lead to stronger marriage
You have two kids , you don't have to have more kids

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by luckgames(m): 2:17pm On Apr 02, 2012

drcyber: Many years ago I had a lady who had a kid for me. We were in college together in Nigeria but I left for the U.S to study. Both families were at war but I always hated polygamy so I decided to stick with it. She got pregnant again & I thought the war would end but it got worse. Last year I sent her $70000 to give 20k to my mum but she never did. A few weeks ago she sent me a message that she does not want to have anything to do with my family. I am home now, one of the top doctors in my field, i don't want a scattered house but she won't return my calls or see me. She has moved away. My family thinks it is good riddance but I don't want to make mistakes...I counsel people for a living and want to get it right. Serious suggestions needed.

Rule 1 don't send money to your mom through your wife or through your mom to your wife
If she doesn't have any thing to do with your family- == she can't be your wife ( in Nigeria you marry family)
A wife having good relationship with family lead to stronger marriage
You have two kids , you don't have to have more kids
Go get your kids-- use ,Army, SSS, Police any thing you have to do to get the kids (it is Nigeria )

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by maclatunji: 2:30pm On Apr 02, 2012

I don't know but before the lady in question got pregnant for you twice, there must have been some degree of affection between the two of you or did you pounce on her on both occasions that she conceived? I think you should seek her out and seek a frank heart-to-heart discussion with her. If there is any amount of love remaining between the two of you, you guys should sort-out the issues and get married ASAP. As for the warring families, it is up to you to draw the line and let your family know that she is the mother of your children and deserves some respect. I am sure that her family will reciprocate if they see that you mean well for their daughter and treat her well.

You and the lady have done incalculable damage to your children with all of this rubbish you started. It is the truth that you have been irresponsible by fathering children when you are not married to their mother.

If all of the above does not work, settle your differences amicably and seek to mitigate the negative effects on your children whilst you move on with your life. Be rational please, so far you haven't proven to be that.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by agiboma(f): 2:46pm On Apr 02, 2012

There are a lot of issues here and the best thing is for you to sit down and talk to this woman, you two need to communicate with each other, without the interfearence of both your families. Another thing is you two need to decide what you want to do about your family this is a collaborative decision. If you choose to stay together then you both need to make it clear to both families that you have decided to stay together and that they need to accept your decision. Listen the sooner you both start to defend your relationship to your opposing families the better, they will soon see you people are serious, I would even go as far as putting space between your families so that you guys have the time to repair your family. Tell them you need your space and if they are coming to cause problems better they stay where they are. The only people suffering the most here are the children that are living without their father, because of this extended family drama. Op you have good intentions and your heart is int he right place, i wish you luck.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by omega25red(m): 3:02pm On Apr 02, 2012

poster

your story seems made up but it's your life so here is my advice

you can't force love like someone already mentioned but you can force a relationship with your kids by taking her to court and suing her for your parental rights. Also if the money wasn't important why did you mention it?

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by ayobase(m): 3:13pm On Apr 02, 2012

Dyt:

Buhhahahahahhahahaha
Stingy man lyk u

he was just helping out with the calculation...... wink

Dyt:

Buhhahahahahhahahaha
Stingy man lyk u

he was just helping out with the calculation......

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by ayobase(m): 3:17pm On Apr 02, 2012

@OP
u heard it all.
God wont blame u for not marrying the mother of ur kids so far u haven't walked down the aisle.
But God will hold u responsible for not looking out for ur kids.
Look out for them brother.
Pls, if i may ask? what was the $70,000 meant for?

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by ayobase(m): 3:19pm On Apr 02, 2012

drcyber: @flashaldarin i try to stay away from all the name calling and negative stuff that fly around here because i believe there are a few decent people. If you had real life experience you would know that the answers to some of life's hardest questions are where you least expect. You want to know who i am, i can show you but if you have nothing cerebral to say pls stay off the thread.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by tellwisdom: 5:20pm On Apr 02, 2012

chikk:

I don't see what ur concern is here. I can kill u if it will make my kids comfortable talk more of spending some money. Its his sweat not urs and he makes it for his kids so why cant he spend it on them?
@op, i dont see why u bother urself with some people here. U must not take every crap that people post here. Some people here are undergraduates, some are jambites, some are mere teenagers. U know what u're looking for. Fish out some useful advises and ignore the rest. Simple!

toto head

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by drcyber: 12:04pm On Apr 04, 2012

Thanks to all who called and offered their advice in private. Really appreciated.

@Don Carlos The kids have always been with her. Never believed in separating kids from their mother. She refused to relocate to the U. S probably based on advice of her parents.

Money was provided for accommodation. She claimed she could not stay alone so was staying with her brother, sister... Now she has moved away from there to a place I dont know.

@ayobase The money was for children's excursion to France in school, the holidays and school fees, feeding, upkeep because I couldn't come back in December but the following March. Her share was actually £30000.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by Nobody: 7:58am On Oct 13, 2012

Bros how far?
I just came across this ur story oo. I guess u wrote this before coming to buy d iphone from me.
Just wanna ask, are u talking about d lady u came together to my place on dat day? Cos u guys were gisting fine dat day na.
I hope u guyz av settled now?
I was actually looking for ur nos before seeing d post.

Re: Should I Just Marry Someone Else? by koolJ1(f): 12:32pm On Oct 13, 2012

Crown Prince:
Let assume obviously your kids are above twelve years. Before you travelled,ur supposed mother in-law took away your wife and the kid preventing naming ceremony or whatever. You travelled and your wife returned back to be with your mother. Few month upon your arrival,your wife kicked off with $70000 dollars.
All thie while the children were growing up,i bet you sent money down for their upkeeps or the recently sent dollars was to clear their infant and adolescent arrears?
Man,i be guy man like you

Guy get ur head outta ur ar.se if u must comment or stick it in there and shut up. U really think people can't afford $70,000? Lol. U need to viewe life from a fresh perspective.

And he said to give his mum 20k did he write in what currency? Since everything he wrote dats money-related is in $$$ y didn u at least force ur brain to think $20,000

U really are a typical nigerian and nairalander. Smh

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