1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
2. Crying is BLACKMAIL.
3. “YES” and “NO” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
4. If you think you’re fat, you probably are!  Don’t ask us.
5. Anything we said 6 months ago is not admittable in an argument; in fact all comment becomes null and void after 7 days.
6. If something we said be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you cry or angry, we meant the other one.
7. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both!
8. Christopher Columbus did not need any directions and neither do we.
9. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings: Peach for example is a fruit not a colour, Pumpkin for us example is also a fruit; we have no idea of what mauve is!
10. If it itches, it will be scratched, we do that!!
11. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing is wrong.  We know you’re lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
12. If you ask a question and you don’t want an answer, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
13. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, really.

. . . . yes I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know that men don’t really mind? It’s like camping.