A friend of mine recently had an offer to move to the U.S, but she has fears. Being in her late twenties, and not having had a serious promise of marriage from any guy yet, she thinks travelling out might further dampen her chances of getting a husband. She has been further discouraged by the stories she has heard that so many Nigerian ladies in the US and Europe are single, and that those who get married to foreigners there easily get divorced. The chances of meeting a decent Nigerian guy over there also appear slim. She is considering turning down the offer and staying back here. She’s confused at the moment and needs advice. Is it true that Nigerian ladies abroad find it harder to get married? If you are a Nigerian lady living abroad, please share your experiences.

what is it with nigerian girls and the OBSESSION to get married, huh? can't they just live their lives?

if she's travelling out, why not get engaged and then start processing the guy's papers before she leaves. Or wait for him to get his papers, then they go together.

does she have a green card, or what exactly.

if its a student visa then she might have to take her chances overseas (seeing how she doesnt have anyone yet) since that's rather indefinite.

being in her late twenties is indeed cause for concern because the very few marriageable men abroad are hotly competed for by women of all ethnicities and nationalities there.

so yes, she has every reason to consider her options.

Kevin_II: what is it with nigerian girls and the OBSESSION to get married, huh? can't they just live their lives?

I truly don't know. If marriage is do or die to her, she should remain at home.

To be honest though, I don't see many single Nigerian women here. Single Nigerian men I see more often.

ogugua88:

I truly don't know. If marriage is do or die to her, she should remain at home.

To be honest though, I don't see many single Nigerian women here. Single Nigerian men I see more often.

I know someone who is lying to herself . . . lol

@OP

I think your friend has a better chance of getting married in Nigeria, and even have a less stressful professional life. . If she is my sister, i would advice her against accepting any offer to be transferred to America.

Metalgoong: I know someone who is lying to herself . . . lol

Do I come across as a liar?

Why is she getting herself worked up? She would have a successful home if she builds the home on the right foundation whether she be married in Nigeria or anywhere and vice versa if built on the wrong foundation. She should consider her options and decide on other things rather than the choice of meeting a man for marriage.

Nigerian ladies abroad are exposed to too much tv programmes that promote gender equality. While that is good and western, it has not fully come to our own culture and concept of marriage. Therefore, it is more likely for a nigerian lady in nigeria to get married easily than the ones abroad. Nigerian men abroad wants to come home and get married. They usually find more peace doing that.

ogugua88:

Do I come across as a liar?

Lool

Must they think about marriage all the time? No wonder some guys run when a relationship gets serious.

Tell her to stop bothering her head and do whatever she feels is right to do. Call me archaic, thank you, but I happen to believe in destiny. If it's her destiny to get married, she will get married. Even if she decides to reside in Jupitar.

Whatz with all the marriage wahala all the time?

The hard truth is that not every lady will get married,so if she thinks america will better her life,she should go for it.Let her hold unto what she has at the moment.

I have two friends in New York & Texas now, who wants to get married & had been pleading with me to help them find a decent girl in Nigeria to marry, that our Nigerian ladies down there are nothing to write home about, I still wonder why shaa....another of my friend that is doing his masters in UK, is always telling me that Nigerian ladies in UK are not marriage-able, said a lot of ill things about them which makes me wonder if abroad is a curse or a blessing to our ladies? Now to the topic, @op, tell your friend to border less, but honestly, working in Nigeria is far more comfortable, sweeter & profitable than working in America or Europe if its a good co. And couple with her fears, she should ask the co. to pls retain her here in Nigeria until she is emotionally settled to migrate abroad. If then she is lucky enough for the co. to accept her option, then she needs to make herself visible to her kind of men so that she can connect with one soon before it gets too late & by then, she will be seen as a bad lady who had been running around with old men...which may damper her chances of finding a true man to marry for a lasting happy marriage she desires. But then, what has she been doing all these while that she hasn't found herself a fiancee? A man can be completely single @late twenties, cos of so many reasons, but a lady is somewhat hard to believe. I hope this story is not fried up to enlighten us

DailyNews: I have two friends in New York & Texas now, who wants to get married & had been pleading with me to help them find a decent girl in Nigeria to marry, that our Nigerian ladies down there are nothing to write home about, I still wonder why shaa....another of my friend that is doing his masters in UK, is always telling me that Nigerian ladies in UK are not marriage-able, said a lot of ill things about them which makes me wonder if abroad is a curse or a blessing to our ladies? Now to the topic, @op, tell your friend to border less, but honestly, working in Nigeria is far more comfortable, sweeter & profitable than working in America or Europe if its a good co. And couple with her fears, she should ask the co. to pls retain her here in Nigeria until she is emotionally settled to migrate abroad. If then she is lucky enough for the co. to accept her option, then she needs to make herself visible to her kind of men so that she can connect with one soon before it gets too late & by then, she will be seen as a bad lady who had been running around with old men...which may damper her chances of finding a true man to marry for a lasting happy marriage she desires. But then, what has she been doing all these while that she hasn't found herself a fiancee? A man can be completely single @late twenties, cos of so many reasons, but a lady is somewhat hard to believe. I hope this story is not fried up to enlighten us

I don´t know how these stories come up but a friend of mine is currently preparing for his traditional wedding in a few days. He is marying his girl friend of 8 months who is a student in the UK. The lady he is marrying has lived in the UK for a long time (my guy didn´t tell me how long). But she is Nigerian and she lives in the UK.

^^^ More Profitable? You sure about that?

All the educated Nigerian MSc holder and working class people I know here in Europe went back to Nigeria to marry. The one's that are yet to marry have someone back home. So I will say it is more difficult getting the educated working class Nigerian if you are in Europe than if you're in Nigeria

Men will line up infront of your house abroad to take turns on you.none will marry you.unless you want to be a single parent.

This is not necessarily correct. There are PLENTY of single girls in Nigeria right now
in their late twenties, just as there are a number abroad.
But given that there are more Nigerian men in nigeria than abroad, it is easier to marry in Nigeria
early enough...
And it is same for men abroad, that is why many of them come home to look for a wife.
In addition to being less of the opposite gender to pick from,
I think one of the key reasons is that there isnt that much pressure to marry when you are abroad
as it is back in Naija.
I am in my early 20's and i can assure you that since i came to naija...thoughts of marriage have crossed my mind
a hundred times more than it did when I was away...Lots of pressure here, mehn!
Let me also add that the divorce rate in naija is also growing exponentially...according to statistics (i am an Economist, by the way), divorce rate in naija tripled in 2011 compared to 2010. Go figure!

Women with their marriage phobic syndrome. I keep tellin women, 4d fact someone didnt get married, didnt stop u from gettin ur own husband. Must we have d same destiny? Get over that notion and be happy. If u stay in dis bleeped up country whts d possibility of meetin a good husband or in america. My dear travel. Dnt let ur today sorrow spoil ur 2mw happiness.

Not everyone can get married. The sonner some ladies realise that, the sonner their lives become more meaningful

Nigerian women tend to be rigid in their selection of partners (Nigerian or none), most men however go on to marry non-Nigerian ladies or go back home to get a wife.

You don't have to restrict yourself to a shrinking pool of marriageable Nigerian men.

I believe so. At the end of the day, the fact that they have very few to choose from ain't helping either. My sincere advice to the eligible ladies is for them to be open minded,not resticting themselves to a particular nationality/tribe.

Tell ur friend to go to America. So dat by morrow she won't say HAD I KNOWN. Opportunity comes but once. She might be lucky to meet a guy at the Airport. Most guys dey love ladies dat's new to the place and will want to hook up asap.

Forget about ppl saying, her destiny is different from theirs. She shd believes dat her stories is different.

i gess its 2ru n getin married ova dere iz nt an option coz u myt b divored @ anytym, i tink its beta u stay bak n mke urself hapi

well; let me not generalize issue here; but to b real... her chances of getting married to a decent Nigerian man is slimmer aboard..
i am serious; but not impossible... plz note that.

most nigerian guys u see esp. in UK ( i knw dis one) a jst after ur money; they will come back to nigeria to pick on babe after eating up ur cash.

as per the white man; yea; they will marry u; but jst prepare to b a divorcee any time (incase it happened)...

what i will advice is that take the opportunity; because who knws whether d so called MR RIGHT is waiting 4 u aboard sef...?
then if after 2-3yrs nothing happens; simple as ABC. take a long vacation and come back to lagos... attend one church...
u will always see those so called christian brothers; they have been praying 4 a woman like u... gbam una marry..
u take him aboard...
he will call it a big testimony ... simple....

Her Fears are real, I can relate with it. I had a friend who traveled to the UK to find greener pasture after her work gained relevance. she was interview on major media, she decided to stay because her previous life in Lagos was not palatable. she waited for too long for a husband and the people she got were either 419 or struggles. most of the people that comes her way do not have rights of stay in Europe and because she is more materialistic, not wanting to return to her poverty Documents mattered a lot to her.
The last i heard of her is that she got pregnant the Nigerian way and decided to have the baby without wedding
I can name three others who desires to return to Nigeria. but are also not happy about the condition of our lives. the Electricity, the Joblessness, the insecurity and all. I think it is easier to marry here where you have more Blacks than wait for desperate people in Europe and America

I understand her fears. There are fewer marriageable men abroad and to say fewer is an understatement. To say they are hotly competed for is also a gross understatement. Recently, I was in a church in London and got speaking with an elderly lady who I just happened to seat next to on that Sunday. We had a few talks about Nigeria and she sounded updated than me...lol.. Suddenly she told me she has a daughter in medical school about my age and she would be happy if I visited to say 'Hi'. I was so surprised, but quickly and strongly declined the 'offer'.
The lady never spoke to me again that day.
Your friend should weigh her options and gauge it with her personality and life choices. If she is career-minded and high performance driven professional, she should take the opportunity. If she isn't and is the person/man-depending type, well she should ensure she legally hooks a man before moving to the US. Over-ripe and over-grown 9ja girls in the US, UK, Canada etc run to 9ja to find wife in alarming numbers at present.

drnoel:

I don´t know how these stories come up but a friend of mine is currently preparing for his traditional wedding in a few days. He is marying his girl friend of 8 months who is a student in the UK. The lady he is marrying has lived in the UK for a long time (my guy didn´t tell me how long). But she is Nigerian and she lives in the UK.

Of course bro, there must always be someone very lucky even in midst of misfortune! And can u enlighten us on her personality & character? that must have played a role too. Now again, a colleague that just saw me now reading this told me to share this other story: his cousin a guy born & living here, just moved to America last month through a Nigerian girl he met last 2 yrs xmas in their village. He met the girl in their village when the girl (born & living in u.s.a) came back home for xmas with her family. He said that during their traditional wedding here in Nigeria, so many other of the bride's friends came down from the states to hook up with serious-minded Nigerian guys here in Nigeria becos it was practically becoming impossible for them to find a trusted Nigerian guy to marry down there in america. He just showed me their wedding pics on his facebook, the girl should be around 29, and so were the friends I saw in the pic. Finally again, he told me that one of his kinsman, a guy of 29, also hooked up with one of the bride's friends living in Canada too & they are also planning marriage. So my brother, it is not a cooked up story, but hardly do Nigerian guys abroad marry our ladies living there with them; they always prefer to come home to get a wife, which I am yet to figure out why becos guys in Nigeria are also complaining about our sisters here...lol....I wonder what is happening to Nigeria of today...sighs.

Whatever u want to do in life,jst ask God 4 directn.There r so many stories of people coming back home 2marry but dat might not be her portion.My friend was transferrd to U.S at a tym she came bck to naija afta 2yrs n dat was wen she met her husband.Let GOD put u in d rite place at d rite time.There r thousands of ladies in nigeria dat r also not married so be wise.

Truth be told,the chances of getting a Nigerian partner abroad is pretty slimmer compared to hooking up to a Nigerian man here. Please do not castigate the poor lady that knows what she wants for herself and that is why she is not comfortable with her singleness before she travels. So cut her some slack.

@op your friends worry is not out of place as she knows what she wants for herself. If shes that serious about getting a suitable life partner,let her send a mail to my friends email addy (ufeli.goel@gmail.com) or better still call him on 07051212470 for them to hook up. He is single @ the moment and searching for a suitable lady to settle down with. Wish her best of luck and she should not relent in her dreams. Cheers !