Yeah quite obvious he doesn't love me,on a 2nd tot I won't post my detailed version like I promised.will just leave it here return his ring&move on with life,thanks to all d good hearted people who gave good advise.hope 2 meet a very nice person in future,hope 2 b d best 4 someone else.cheers guys case closed

FLEE !!!

Thats all i have to say.... [color=#990000][/color]

Mr portharcourt boy, so cz ur girl cant cook or clean, u ve resorted to being verbally abusive?? Wt happened to gently correcting nd teaching? Dnt u knw dt words hurt alot? Nd may lower someones self esteem? U r too selfish to realise dt u r demeaning ur girl. Isnt d whole point of bein in a relationship to complement ur partners weak points? Can u proudly say dat u r witout blemish?... Ur behaviour to d op is bad nd cant be excused. At dis rate, u dnt deserve her. U must work hard to be a better man if u want to keep her...nd who goes around telling d girl he loves dat he can ve anoda girl in a minute? Der is dis saying dt a guy who treats his girl lyk a princess shows dt he has bin raised by a queen. Who raised u? Pls ur conceptions r wrong

op, as a lady, i ll advise u to brk d engagement. Abuse of any form should not be tolerated. If he talks lyk a monster, der is a probability dt he acts lyk one too... Pls think deeply b4 continuing dis charade u call a relationship.he is already abusing u psychologically, making u feel powerless nd unable to severe d relationship. He is spoilin u 4 d next man.... Pls leave him, someone who loves u wit all ur shortcomings ll come along, maybe den d idea of cooking local soup witout curry ll be appealing to u cz u ll want to do tins ryt 4 him.

The most popular advice most ladies on Nairaland can give to a lady who is having problem in her relationship is cut and nail suggestion, 'LEAVE THE GUY'.
Even when Portharcourt boy has given his own version of the story,she abuses her man and expects to be treated like a queen,mbanu.
How many are ready to tolerate sister-in-laws that throw insults to your brothers and families?
The Op should change from those bad behaviours her man complain about and learn.
Portharcourt bobo you self, why you de complain about missionary style(old model), abeg no let that one bring problem, at all at all na im bad pass.

PortHarcourtBoy:

My Dear, we both know if you step out, there's a sharp sharp replacement...even though I've not considered that option yet

So whatever ur decision, nothing do me...I just don't wanna break your heart for old time sake, and maybe for love sake...

Common rice you can't boil, custard you can't make, soup - zero, stew - 20 litres of water or oil, what is so difficult in humbling urself and learning from me or someone else?...Na wa oh!

I have advised you like a sister... Go and learn how to cook! Haba!! Na my food you wan carry dey play "okosoh"? A wise girl should have done something about this cooking issue a long time ago.

You can't cook, clean or nyash wella... and you expect me to be smiling at you and give kudos for that?

Guy slow down seh na engagement una dey in the first place you are nt married and therefore base on what u guyz have being telling us it shows u are nt compactable. The best will be for both of u to move on, except u guyz are ready to compliment each other. The earlier its done the better. Bt babe if na tru say u lack all thing this talk then am sorry you are in a seriouse palava. Walahi Allah.

U beta run out frm dat ur relationship,dere re so many guyz out dere.

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

lolz some ladies re lik dat,infact all dis new genration ladies re lik dat.i myself there re times i would wnt to be cuddled,i no dey carry last. But instead of u to turn into a monster is better to call it quit.


Men are naturally aggressive wen they re nt incharge. Dat attitude is his way of excersing control ova u,n at a time it will develop frm vabal to physical abuse. He can only change if he lands a gud job n take up his responsibilities as a man. But dis will only work out if he waznt lik dis abinitio

Brezzybone: Guy slow down seh na engagement una dey in the first place you are nt married and therefore base on what u guyz have being telling us it shows u are nt compactable. The best will be for both of u to move on, except u guyz are ready to compliment each other. The earlier its done the better. Bt babe if na tru say u lack all thing this talk then am sorry you are in a seriouse palava. Walahi Allah.

My bother, if d gal lack, and refuse to learn all those skills during courtship, how would you expect her to learn them after marriage when everything have been sealed . . lol

@:PH, Please replace the babe sharp sharp . . No dulling!!

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

lolz some ladies re lik dat,infact all dis new genration ladies re lik dat.i myself there re times i would wnt to be cuddled,i no dey carry last. But instead of u to turn into a monster is better to call it quit.


Men are naturally aggressive wen they re nt incharge. Dat attitude is his way of excersing control ova u,n at a time it will develop frm vabal to physical abuse. He can only change if he lands a gud job n take up his responsibilities as a man. But dis will only work out if he waznt lik dis abinitio

Doctorazz: Hi all,

I've been dating this guy for almost over 5 years. He's very hot-tempered & verbally abusive. At the slightest provocation, he calls me names e.g. fool etc.

He's presently waiting for a job to click. I visit him most weekends to keep him company since he's bored most of the time. He always looks for one fault in me or the other. When I leave especially for work in the morning after being with him, he starts sending me messages of what I did that's wrong, and what I didn't do etc. He teaches me how to cook to his satisfaction, and if I make a suggestion, he gets mad at me and starts calling me all sorts of names. Most times because he's so particular, I always ask Him how he wants a particular food cooked, because if one thing is put before another and it's not the way he does it,he wont eat the food again. Even times when I make a suggestion and he refuses, I do what he says yet when I go, he'll send me abusive messages saying "why did I want to do it that way, am I a fool? etc and a quarrel ensues, despite doing it his way.

He's pushed me severally and I fear he may be physically abusive too. Anything I tell him about myself,he uses it against me when next we quarrel. Please I need advice,the most embarrassing thing now is, we've been engaged for a year and from the look of things we may be breaking up very soon. I've been wearing his ring all along. How do I go through the shame of not getting married to him despite everyone knowing us together?

he's waiting to get married 2u. So that he can have d opportunity 2 batter you thorougly.. Run for your dear life my dear, he's not worth it your are a rare gem and therefore should be treated like one..

Doctorazz: Hi all,

I've been dating this guy for almost over 5 years. He's very hot-tempered & verbally abusive. At the slightest provocation, he calls me names e.g. fool etc.

He's presently waiting for a job to click. I visit him most weekends to keep him company since he's bored most of the time. He always looks for one fault in me or the other. When I leave especially for work in the morning after being with him, he starts sending me messages of what I did that's wrong, and what I didn't do etc. He teaches me how to cook to his satisfaction, and if I make a suggestion, he gets mad at me and starts calling me all sorts of names. Most times because he's so particular, I always ask Him how he wants a particular food cooked, because if one thing is put before another and it's not the way he does it,he wont eat the food again. Even times when I make a suggestion and he refuses, I do what he says yet when I go, he'll send me abusive messages saying "why did I want to do it that way, am I a fool? etc and a quarrel ensues, despite doing it his way.

He's pushed me severally and I fear he may be physically abusive too. Anything I tell him about myself,he uses it against me when next we quarrel. Please I need advice,the most embarrassing thing now is, we've been engaged for a year and from the look of things we may be breaking up very soon. I've been wearing his ring all along. How do I go through the shame of not getting married to him despite everyone knowing us together?

Better to be ashamed than dead

Come to think of it, why must these two agbaya wash their dirt linen in public,anonymous forum or not its childish.

@Portharcourt guy
What a sick game it is you're playing! Does it excite you to pretend to be the OP's fiance? Gaskia, you really have time on your hands.

OP,
Take this from me. That man will not change. He has lost all respect for you and the only way to get it back would be to leave him!
If you decide to go ahead, get set for worse abuse and putdowns. That's my own mite of advice for you from the bottom of my heart.

P.S Try to love yourself. You have to do that before anyone can.

gree-die:
Mr portharcourt boy, so cz ur girl cant cook or clean, u ve resorted to being verbally abusive?? Wt happened to gently correcting nd teaching? Dnt u knw dt words hurt alot? Nd may lower someones self esteem? U r too selfish to realise dt u r demeaning ur girl. Isnt d whole point of bein in a relationship to complement ur partners weak points? Can u proudly say dat u r witout blemish?... Ur behaviour to d op is bad nd cant be excused. At dis rate, u dnt deserve her. U must work hard to be a better man if u want to keep her...nd who goes around telling d girl he loves dat he can ve anoda girl in a minute? Der is dis saying dt a guy who treats his girl lyk a princess shows dt he has bin raised by a queen. Who raised u? Pls ur conceptions r wrong

op, as a lady, i ll advise u to brk d engagement. Abuse of any form should not be tolerated. If he talks lyk a monster, der is a probability dt he acts lyk one too... Pls think deeply b4 continuing dis charade u call a relationship.he is already abusing u psychologically, making u feel powerless nd unable to severe d relationship. He is spoilin u 4 d next man.... Pls leave him, someone who loves u wit all ur shortcomings ll come along, maybe den d idea of cooking local soup witout curry ll be appealing to u cz u ll want to do tins ryt 4 him.

She never told you she's verbally abusive as well...to the extent of insulting my late Mum

Do you think if she had found a guy as tolerant as I am...we would still be together?

How many guys would tolerate her shortcomings??

I'm sure you're the kinda Sister-inlaw that 'd throw out such a girl if your Bro brings one home

A heart to heart talk mite go along way of solvin d problems as he mite nt even knw d efffect his manner of approach is on u.If stil abusive or insultive den u can quit

iykak47: Come to think of it, why must these two agbaya wash their dirt linen in public,anonymous forum or not its childish.

Come to think of it...aren't you the "Agbaya"? Because you've got no f**cking clue about our IDs so how are we washing our linen in public when we are anonymous?

My dear just reading this post as a guy makes me angry and asking what kind of guy are u with who cannot see past ur faults,i mean that is what love is about.the ability to feel for someone even when u know they are not perfect.the hand writing is on the wall and it is not until you get physically abused that u will realise u are in trouble.Long and short of the story he does not deserve you,this guy clearly has issues.save ur self now before u do something u will regret.marriage is not a plaything,it is serious bizness so make sure it is what U̶̲̥̅̊ want.a stitch in time saves nine.

seedord247: shollypops or wettin be your name . . If your man is MAGA does not mean every man should be.

If you used VOODOO on ya husband and it works does not mean it wil work for others.

If your man do the house job for you and you are on here gossiping on NL . . who cares?

If you are lucky to be the bread winner of ya family . . Pls who cares?

If you want to give advice . . be straight forward rather than using your family plight to judge others.

@PBoy. . .


I knew all what she has been ranting were true lies. Thank God, you have come here to defend yourself.

despite the fact that i got married to a white lady, I have only been to the kitchen twice and i can't remember the last time i do the house work. The people giving her advice are singles ladies bcus they are deprived of man and they want her to join the clique of Oprah.

Bros . . Na you know where the thing they pinch you ooo. just sit her down and tell her the does and don't she doesnt know.

wait o ,nah that pix i see for there,nah you marry white woman so, nigerians you guys can make mouth,white woman ko marry ni

seedord247:

when was the last time you got penetrated??

A) 3 yrs

B) 2 yrs

C) 5 yrs

D) men are scared of you

Yes they are. And you should too

I read page 0 nd 4 nd jumped to conclusions, my bad....

my revised opinion is dis : op, perhaps u should learn to do d basic things expected of a lady. I knw dt in our modern society, its not a prerequisite 4 a lady to cook nd clean but it sure puts her at an advantage. Be d change u need. Ur guy has admitted to bein bad mouthed, its left 4 u to decide if u want to continue wit him. Pls tink well cz d devil u knw is beta dan d angel u dnt knw

portharcourtboy, i understand dt u r d type dt wants ur girl to be a lady in every sense of d world, but u must understand dt noone is perfect. If u love her, den u must gently coerce her into doing d ryt tin. Dont mouth off on her pls! Words hurt alot nd leaves indelible marks.

if u guys really love each oda, den u can fix this. Love is suppose to make u want to be d best 4 nd please ur partner ryt?? But if u cant reconcile d differences, den its beta to quit now dan ve a hellish marriage.

A broken relationship will forever be better than a broken marriage. How can you at this age be trapped in the closet of what people will say.you better leave before its too late.

Ok wait a minute let me get this straight... so ph boy is the op's abusive man?

@ph boy,i know nigerians guys are good making mouth,even when they don't own a pin them go brag say they own the whole world,,you not ashame of yourself insult your so called wife to be ,i wonder if you going to get married to her ,once you get the job, i know you will dump her ass,is just a pity she can't read the sign,
i know most Nigerian ladies love to be treated like shits,if you try to be the nice guy them go tag you "MUGU" they always fall for the guys that maltreat them,
@doctorrazz, you better drop the ring, you see how is brags (is part of a nigerian guy) that he could get a girl in the minutes, he is making seems he doing you a favour dating you not because he loves you,yeah he can get a girl in a minute trust me Dude it depends on the type of girl you get ,you see a lady that is loyal to you and you treat like shit, pray you will be paid back in your own coin

Better lose your job than marry the wrong man/woman.

BiggyB242: @ph boy,i know nigerians guys are good making mouth,even when they don't own a pin them go brag say they own the whole world,,you not ashame of yourself insult your so called wife to be ,i wonder if you going to get married to her ,once you get the job, i know you will dump her ass,is just a pity she can't read the sign,
i know most Nigerian ladies love to be treated like shits,if you try to be the nice guy them go tag you "MUGU" they always fall for the guys that maltreat them,
@doctorrazz, you better drop the ring, you see how is brags (is part of a nigerian guy) that he could get a girl in the minutes, he is making seems he doing you a favour dating you not because he loves you,yeah he can get a girl in a minute trust me Dude it depends on the type of girl you get ,you see a lady that is loyal to you and you treat like shit, pray you will be paid back in your own coin

I don't own a pin, it's left for her to confirm this... I don't need blowing ma trumpet 'cos we must remain anonymous

Also, what makes you so sure I'll dump her when I start working?

If I wanted to dump her, don't you think I'd have done that when I was outta the country?

You can go ahead to marry him but Please Do Not come back To NAIRALAND THAT YOUR HUSBAND HAD ENSLAVE YOU OR WHT SO EVER LIKE K-KOSO WIFE.

sexkillz: Break up with him before he get's physical. . .

You are pathetically insane you he-goat. Moronic adviser. You think you low-life, nascent boy can give a say into someone's marriage? Mr discombobulated, befuddled sand munching he-goat.

@OP:

We Nigerian men are meant to react, hyper-react due to various circumstances we experience around us. It is either due to our upbringing or present situation. Please bear with us! In as much as your fiance don't get you arrested with physical threats, please do bear with him. You can both go for marriage consultation. Watch lots of romantic movies, series, programmes together; soon he will begin changing for good.

Moreso, marriage is not a bed of roses, we married people have our ups and downs, we just have to adapt with each other's etiquette. You guys should understand your differences and sort it out real good. You are adults , ain't ya? And next time, search within yourself before coming to Nairaland to table your family matter. He as your fiance sure will have one or two things to say regarding your making him temperamental.

PortHarcourtBoy:

Come to think of it...aren't you the "Agbaya"? Because you've got no f**cking clue about our IDs so how are we washing our linen in public when we are anonymous?

Portharcourt bobo, its not part of my identity to hit a man when he is down, you get my drift.oya move front and face gbege

merije1010: U beta run out frm dat ur relationship,dere re so many guyz out dere.

iff she is tellng us d truth. D best tin is 2 walk away; dot feel pity 4 him o

Doctorazz: Yeah quite obvious he doesn't love me,on a 2nd tot I won't post my detailed version like I promised.will just leave it here return his ring&move on with life,thanks to all d good hearted people who gave good advise.hope 2 meet a very nice person in future,hope 2 b d best 4 someone else.cheers guys case closed

Madam, you are confused! This is the result when you display your private matters to Nairaland! Well done, remember lots of Brad pitt-like guys are out there to give you apako

^^^^^ Hmmmmmmmm, the first recorded breakup on NL.