We are married for about two years now and we have a daughter she is 1and half years I am still schooling my daughter goes with me I will drop her at Crechè within the school premises it was not easy at all for me to carry the little girl my books and her things also on okada everyday before I got home I will be very tired I discussed this with my husband and he said I should be taking drop cab which is very expensive I told him to allow me to go to driving school so that I will be droping him at work every morning before I will be heading to school he refused totally so I saved up money and I went to driving school behind his back I told about it later and his happy that he does not have to pay the fee but he has never allow me to touch the car my learner's permit expires tomorrow

scratches head
brb

Your husband's car is his second wife but not enough reason not to allow you touch it. Guess he is scared of you scratching the car. But he suggested a cab, will he be the one to pay? If yes why not use that if not discuss it with him not quarrel with him o and you could stylishly ask him to get you a small car

Sorry abt wat ure goin tru. i feel u. however, if dat his first car its expected dat he treats it like a baby. so i dnt blame him especialy if hes still payn fr d loan; he might av fears of u bashing it. so be patient nd hopeful dat someday he'ld get u one too. what if he dnt av one, uld live now, abi? so bone

I think you should sit him down to explain the dangers of carrying your little child on okada without helmet. Both of you need to sit down and discuss possible alternatives in transporting this child to school everyday as the present situation is not comfortable.

Pampers: Sorry abt wat ure goin tru. i feel u. however, if dat his first car its expected dat he treats it like a baby. so i dnt blame him especialy if hes still payn fr d loan; he might av fears of u bashing it. so be patient nd hopeful dat someday he'ld get u one too. what if he dnt av one, uld live now, abi? so bone

Yea, he is treating his car like a baby an you don't blame him? Have you thought for a second how much discomfort that child is going through everyday jumping one okada or the other with mummy when daddy has a car? And the mothers own stress nko?

@Topic
I don't know when people will start prioritizing. Accidents can happen anywhere but what happens if God forbid one falls off the okada in that terrible naija road? I reject such in Jesus name. Infact this man is very unserious, his car is obviously more important to him than his family. Abeg I de work, I no fit shout

na wah o, naija guy car that depreciates na that be prized something?
ummm, well op focus on school and ya baby . . . if he is paying you to get a cab, fine. no no to Okada.
Better ya oga drop off baby on the way. That's what i see pple with one car do here.
They drop off their kid while their madam ride the bus to work/school.
but ya oga selfish leaving wifey and baby to endure hardship eh
oh well.

@op,
This is surely nagging 101. So if your husband had no car, what would you have done? Force him to buy a car or buy one for yourself?
Or maybe you won't take ur kid to school cos there's no car?
Mtchew. . . Millenium housewife.

jennykadry:

Yea, he is treating his car like a baby an you don't blame him? Have you thought for a second how much discomfort that child is going through everyday jumping one okada or the other with mummy when daddy has a car? And the mothers own stress nko?

So to enter bike now don turn to stress now abi?

cantell: @op,
This is surely nagging 101. So if your husband had no car, what would you have done? Force him to buy a car or buy one for yourself?
Or maybe you won't take ur kid to school cos there's no car?
Mtchew. . . Millenium housewife.

So to enter bike now don turn to stress now abi?

Ur question is irrelevant to the topic. He has a car so no need imagining such a scenario. I can't understand how a man will be happy to see his kid of probably less than 3yrs on okada. In Lagos, it is even illegal.

^^^ 1.5 year old child. Tufiakwa

Sit your husband down and explian your fear.

blank:

Ur question is irrelevant to the topic. He has a car so no need imagining such a scenario. I can't understand how a man will be happy to see his kid of probably less than 3yrs on okada. In Lagos, it is even illegal.

Miss relevant, what if he doesn't own a car?
Or the car suddenly breaks down and it takes a while to fix? Would she not take her kid to school with the same okada she's whining about?
Truth is, she has seen some women drive their children to school and she wants to be in the same league with them.
But she forgot that all fingers are not equal. She's making a mountain out of a molehill and y'all supporting her.
I guess she's better than other women who take their kids to school without a car.

Were you forced to marry your husband because maybe you got pregnant? Were you forced on him? It is either he is very selfish or does not care for you like a husband should care for his wife and child. A rational caring person will actually employ a driver to carry wife and kids and take public transport. Or will wake up early and drop both of you off before heading to work. . What if mother and child lose their life in the process?

Are you sure your Husband did not marry you only because you got pregnant for him?. . .Only a man forced into a marriage will act that way. . .

Congratulations in advance!!!

You now know how to drive. That's a good thing.

Apologies in advance!!!

You are still a newbie in driving and you expect your husband to hand over his car to you all because you can move a car and obey traffic regulations? Sorry madam! No one wants dents,bashes and scratches on their car especially if it's the only one they have. Newbies in driving ALWAYS make blunders (i had several during my early months of driving at 18yrs and wrecked my mom's car to shreds...we were customers are the mechanic ). There is no way you will move that car for a maximum of 2 weeks without one wreckage or the other. It's perfectly normal but he is obviously not prepared for that. If you can't live with it, buy your own car and wreck it to bits in the process of gaining experience.

End of!

..

♏Ɣ own take .... You а́яē τ̣̣ђё only one that know your husband better , only few men would not want τ̣̣ђё best for his kid/wife. sometime we must say NO τ̅☺ some demand from ladies not because we like τ̅☺ but because we need τ̅☺ do §o,He may see somtin U̶̲̥̅̊ а́яē not seeing and trust mε̲̣̣̣̥ respect his decision you only make sure he's paying for your cab and not for Okada,i believe wit time he will let you drive...BEST OF LUCK

some men,wit this their car wahala Op,tell him to be takin the child to skool, and goin to bring her as well...instead of riskin that childs life,Okada s not that safe 4 her...make him see reasons or the car no be 4 use takin his child to skool,shuld be his num 1 tot.

@ Cantell, maybe you are right and she just wants to show off. Is it possible for them to come to an arrangement, in which the kid's life is not put at risk and the man's car is not dented, bashed?

Some men are just selfish. I used to have a neighbour(also a friend of the family) whose pregnant wife mounts bikes to pick their 2-year old son from school while he cruises to work in his car. When the woman was close to 7months pregnant, my mum who initially dint want to interfere had to voice out and plead with the hubby to set his priorities right for the sake of the unborn and born child.

3weeks after the woman delivered, she was sighted on bike again going to get foodstuffs, but this time my mum minded her business.

These are not illiterate couple oooo and the woman was not forced on the man. I've known them since their courtship days.

How a man with a car would be comfortable seeing his own family undergo such risk is beyond me.

and to the poster who sees no stress in mounting bikes with a small kid, you are a big joke!

@Op, I'm not sure sitting down your hisband to explain the risk you are exposed to will change anything, I don't believe he doesn't know that already. He probably believes you are not the fist mother to do that, so no big deal. I doubt if he wants to pay for the cab offer though, cos you wouldn't be complaining that its expensive.

Insist he drops you both off. I want to believe this is about your safety and comfort and not "I also want to be behind the wheels".

@OP Jumping bikes with your kid is very dangerous, lay down the cards for him as this: he should pay for a school bus to pick and drop the kid while you manage yourself or he should allow you drive the car. Choice is his but your terms.

Some men are plain stupid, I am even begging my girlfriend to be driving to school with any of my cars, she said She wants her own car, and that she needs Kia Soul (brand new) which I connsider too fragile, I seriously begged to buy her Range Sport, she said, Kia is what she wants and I do not like kia, its just this morning We arrive at a decision to buy her FX 35, which I intend to buy for her month end. He is a stupid man to let his wife suffer. A man's glory, is the wife.

Billyonaire Beaf:
Some men are plain stupid, I am even begging my girlfriend to be driving to school with any of my cars, she said She wants her own car, and that she needs Kia Soul (brand new) which I connsider too fragile, I seriously begged to buy her Range Sport, she said, Kia is what she wants and I do not like kia, its just this morning We arrive at a decision to buy her FX 35, which I intend to buy for her month end. He is a stupid man to let his wife suffer. A man's glory, is the wife.

*Yawns*

Stop dreaming, beaf.

shymmex:

*Yawns*

Stop dreaming, beaf.

Guy, I am not Beaf, stop being silly. If you are poor, I am self-made, I paid my dues.

Billyonaire: Some men are plain stupid, I am even begging my girlfriend to be driving to school with any of my cars, she said She wants her own car, and that she needs Kia Soul (brand new) which I connsider too fragile, I seriously begged to buy her Range Sport, she said, Kia is what she wants and I do not like kia, its just this morning We arrive at a decision to buy her FX 35, which I intend to buy for her month end. He is a stupid man to let his wife suffer. A man's glory, is the wife.

So you won't buy her the Kia because you do not like Kia. Ironic here since you're preaching to someone else that his wife is his glory.
Your girlfriend (whom I presume will later become your wife) should then be bought what she want, not what you think it's best for her.
Nigerian men, once they get money they start acting like dictators, they think they can control what you need/want/is best for you.

Billyonaire: Some men are plain stupid, I am even begging my girlfriend to be driving to school with any of my cars, she said She wants her own car, and that she needs Kia Soul (brand new) which I connsider too fragile, I seriously begged to buy her Range Sport, she said, Kia is what she wants and I do not like kia, its just this morning We arrive at a decision to buy her FX 35, which I intend to buy for her month end. He is a stupid man to let his wife suffer. A man's glory, is the wife.

SO

Ileke-IdI:


So you won't buy her the Kia because you do not like Kia. Ironic here since you're preaching to someone else that his wife is his glory.
Your girlfriend (whom I presume will later become your wife) should then be bought what she want, not what you think it's best for her.
Nigerian men, once they get money they start acting like dictators, they think they can control what you need/want/is best for you.

Kia Soul is fragile, for someone just learning to drive, it could be a matter of life and death, my reasonn for suggesting range sport was to present something more elegant and expensive to take her mindset off the fragile car and she insisted its her choice, my decision is based on "safety first" dictum; I was happy I was able to convince her to accept FX35.

seyi girl: We are married for about two years now and we have a daughter she is 1and half years I am still schooling my daughter goes with me I will drop her at Crechè within the school premises it was not easy at all for me to carry the little girl my books and her things also on okada everyday before I got home I will be very tired I discussed this with my husband and he said I should be taking drop cab which is very expensive I told him to allow me to go to driving school so that I will be droping him at work every morning before I will be heading to school he refused totally so I saved up money and I went to driving school behind his back I told about it later and his happy that he does not have to pay the fee but he has never allow me to touch the car my learner's permit expires tomorrow

We are married for about two years now and we have a daughter she is 1and half years I am still schooling my daughter goes with me I will drop her at Crechè within the school premises it was not easy at all for me to carry the little girl my books and her things also on okada everyday before I got home I will be very tired I discussed this with my husband and he said I should be taking drop cab which is very expensive I told him to allow me to go to driving school so that I will be droping him at work every morning before I will be heading to school he refused totally so I saved up money and I went to driving school behind his back I told about it later and his happy that he does not have to pay the fee but he has never allow me to touch the car my learner's permit expires tomorrow

We are married for about two years now and we have a daughter she is 1and half years I am still schooling my daughter goes with me I will drop her at Crechè within the school premises it was not easy at all for me to carry the little girl my books and her things also on okada everyday before I got home I will be very tired I discussed this with my husband and he said I should be taking drop cab which is very expensive I told him to allow me to go to driving school so that I will be droping him at work every morning before I will be heading to school he refused totally so I saved up money and I went to driving school behind his back I told about it later and his happy that he does not have to pay the fee but he has never allow me to touch the car my learner's permit expires tomorrow

The day my mom's car broke down and had to be taken to the mechanic, she didn't even wait to ask her husband to collect his keys.

Woke up, made breakfast, got his keys and waited for him to grab his bag. She took the keys and drove him to work, then took the car the rest of the day.

My mom is the kind of woman I admire. I want to watch her husband tell her that she' should be miserable without her car while she has children to take to school/appointment, the man sef no fit try that one.

What a very selfish man you married, poster. I say, grab his keys and his balls. I'm tired of reading about wives going to the elders of the family to complain. Na dem go dey chop chop behind your back. When my mom was newly married, she'd go to her elders to complain, but she learned to fix her problem herself. Woman, you best learn to show your husband that your backbone aint weak Naija men will ride over any woman they presume as weak. Give them mile, they'll run the whole road.

Billyonaire: Kia Soul is fragile, for someone just learning to drive, it could be a matter of life and death, my reasonn for suggesting range sport was to present something more elegant and expensive to take her mindset off the fragile car and she insisted its her choice, my decision is based on "safety first" dictum; I was happy I was able to convince her to accept FX35.

Oh ok. You made it seem it you didnt want to buy it for her just because you didn't like it.

Ileke-IdI:


The day my mom's car broke down and had to be taken to the mechanic, she didn't even wait to ask her husband to collect his keys.

Woke up, made breakfast, got his keys and waited for him to grab his bag. She took the keys and drove him to work, then took the car the rest of the day.

My mom is the kind of woman I admire. I want to watch her husband tell her that she' should be miserable without her car while she has children to take to school/appointment, the man sef no fit try that one.

What a very selfish man you married, poster. I say, grab his keys and his balls. I'm tired of reading about wives going to the elders of the family to complain. Na dem go dey chop chop behind your back.

My thoughts as well, but then, some guys are irrational. He could beat the living daylight out of the woman.

Billyonaire: Guy, I am not Beaf, stop being silly. If you are poor, I am self-made, I paid my dues.

Empty barrels make the loudest noise, enough said..

When I started driving, you were selling gala somewhere on the streets of Lagos, enough said.