Looks like you're from another planet, your poor wife who is carrying your child and you want to cheat on her? incidentally , a cousin cheated on his wife of almost 18 years had a baby and the wife has now kicked him out (this is UK situation) on his ass, now, who loses?

. self-service,

its safer, cheaper, you can do it as many times as you like,and it wont mess up your marriage.duh!

what are you thinking?!
sleep with your colleague that has the hots for you and complicate issues all the more?
get a grip man!

I appreciate all your comments.

However I sense a lot of hypocrisy with some posts e.g @is marriage all about sex?"

How can anybody ask this sort of question?? Hello!!! So why did we get married in the 1st place? Is it not to prevent unlawful sexual acts etc? marriage is essentially for companionship, SEX(yes you heard me!!) & procreation, all other things maybe added.

Also those that suggested I involve friends etc, we are in Africa , I beg! how many of you  married peeps will call your  friends or neighbours (or even parents) into sexual matters btw u & your spouse?
Its easier said than done.

The general consensus is that since I've waited this long, I should still hold on ,  ^{I shall try,I shall try, I bind this temptation}

Dear poster,

cheating your wife will not solve the problem,pray so that God will give you self control. say no to mr adultery

Jairzinho:

I appreciate all your comments.

However I sense a lot of hypocrisy with some posts e.g @is marriage all about sex?"

How can anybody ask this sort of question?? Hello!!! So why did we get married in the 1st place? Is it not to prevent unlawful sexual acts etc? marriage is essentially for companionship, SEX(yes you heard me!!) & procreation, all other things maybe added.

Also those that suggested I involve friends etc, we are in Africa , I beg! how many of you  married peeps will call your  friends or neighbours (or even parents) into sexual matters between u & your spouse?
Its easier said than done.

The general consensus is that since I've waited this long, I should still hold on ,  ^{I shall try,I shall try, I bind this temptation}

good man!
you shall not commit adultery in Jesus's name

But come o,is she pregnant in the mouth also?
I just had to ask,does she not know how else to please her husband
looks like you guys have not been talking a whole lot
does she also say No to that?

nwando:

good man!
you shall not commit adultery in Jesus's name

But come o,is she pregnant in the mouth also?
I just had to ask,does she not know how else to please her husband
looks like you guys have not been talking a whole lot
does she also say No to that?

he he he he he he he he he he!   It is not the same now.   You want the poor woman with a little "tyke" boxing away in her tummy to get on her Knees and do what?  Abeg ooooooooooooooh.  To please a Hot husband who has never had sex before?

Please he should do whatever he wants to do!  Like that is what is my most pressing concern at that moment.  When all I am thinking is how I am going to survive the journey ahead called pregnancy.

Ah-ah?  My sister you should know of hyper-emesis gravidarum?   That is the last thing you want to do if you have morning sickness 9 out of 10 months of a pregnancy--like yours truly. -- 10 months of bed rest!   That is the last thing you are thinking about when you can hardly get "ginger-ale and saltine crackers" down your throat.  Or you are lying in a hospital somewhere under hyper-alimentation, upside down because you can't eat.

Say what?

Abeg the man should just lock his "bulala" in one of his boxers for the next 4-6months.  I no wan take my eye see am at all.   Na matter of life and death?   If the woman does not feel like it--just let her be.  She is going through more than the "needy" man and should just be supportive till the whole preganancy thing is over.

Suffering and Smiling African Man!

Na wah for men oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!   You want to have sex with a "heavily pregnant" woman who is going through severe hormonal/physical/physiological/emotional/psychological roller-coasting changes?  

Men need to experience pregnancy one at least in this life time.  Shwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?   See wahala? All because of sex?

Jairzinho:

I appreciate all your comments.

However I sense a lot of hypocrisy with some posts e.g @is marriage all about sex?"

How can anybody ask this sort of question?? Hello!!! So why did we get married in the 1st place? Is it not to prevent unlawful sexual acts etc? marriage is essentially for companionship, SEX(yes you heard me!!) & procreation, all other things maybe added.

Also those that suggested I involve friends etc, we are in Africa , I beg! how many of you  married peeps will call your  friends or neighbours (or even parents) into sexual matters between u & your spouse?
Its easier said than done.

The general consensus is that since I've waited this long, I should still hold on ,  ^{I shall try,I shall try, I bind this temptation}

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!  And you say it is not all about "SEX"?   Please have mercy on this poor woman till she has a safe delivery before you infect her and her unborn child "spiritually". You are already cheating psychologically and no telling how that might affect this woman and unborn child.

I hope to God that you guys are not seperated for months in this lifetime. You will be on the street trying to cast out the demons in between your legs!  Lord have mercy!

almond joy,I'm not saying a 40 week pregnant woman should get on all fours.
Didn't the pregnancy grow gradually like all others
Did she wake up and gbosah,here it is

like I said,the poster is yet to tell us if this is a complicated pregnancy and if it's not the wife is just being unreasonable,at least at the earlier months.

ah baby na you dey talk like this now? haha . Your husband is enjoying.

nwando:


But come o,is she pregnant in the mouth also?
I just had to ask,does she not know how else to please her husband

Lmao, the "liquid" she swallowed from there is probably what got her pregnant in the first place 

Echidime must be praticing some HINDU religion, thats their way,no sex once your wife is pregnant.

I love that, I wish I can cope once my wife is pregnant but I can't.

nwando:

almond joy,I'm not saying a 40 week pregnant woman should get on all fours.
Didn't the pregnancy grow gradually like all others
Did she wake up and gbosah,here it is

like I said,the poster is yet to tell us if this is a complicated pregnancy and if it's not the wife is just being unreasonable,at least at the earlier months.

Read the story well nwando.

The poster said "heavily pregnant" wife.---Meaning ready to drop at any moment.  The poor woman can't even see her toes at this time. Early stages fine.  Late 3rd trimester--heavens forbid.  The best I can do is pat my husband on the back at this stage.

It is not possible even if the man climb on top of the dinning table!

Pleasing him is not the goal now.  It is to make sure this woman has a safe birthing process. They can always catch up later.  A little sacrifice that's all!
It is not a complicated pregnancy I know--but the woman don tire! Make she rest.  The man can rest too!

@poster

This may be your first baby I suspect. That is why you are freaking out. Wait till #4 comes along. As soon as you get the positive pregnancy test--all sexual activity ceases from the doctor's office. I will like to know what you will do next! The woman no go let you near am at all because of annoyance!

BillGatesFan:

Echidime must be praticing some HINDU religion, thats their way,no sex once your wife is pregnant.

I love that, I wish I can cope once my wife is pregnant but I can't.

So what do you suggest the poster should do.  Since you share his frustrations in anticipation of having a  pregnant wife in the future?   You have not experienced this and you already feel you cannot cope?

He should force her into sexual acts that[b] are frankly irritating to her at this time [/b] ---just to please him, or he should go out to the nearest available, open sets of thighs and relieve himself of his sexual frustrations?

Gosh!  And I heard somewhere throught the grapevine that "God created man in his own image and likeness".  I would really have a problems understanding this in light of what we are discussing here.

Na wah oh!--

Nairalanders, u are simply da bomb!!! Every contribution is soooooooooo 4nny!!!

At 5 months she is not so heavy not to have sex though some women don't like sex as much as they potend and on the other hand it could be that you don't let your wife really enjoy sex whilst she's not pregnant therefore may think that you have nothing to offer now that she's pregnant but pain. but since you actually want sex then the logic is spend time with her and let her rest more often and talk soothingly to her while cuddling her gently and be sure that there is no distraction whatsoever.get her in the mood no sex the first time,try again the following day get her in the mood another time and suck her breast much as you can since it is yours and joke about sharing with your incoming baby.more so the Holy Bible admonishes men to suck the breast of his wife.no sex again but do take your bath on each occasion I can bet that the next time you approach she will be more than willing.
If the problem is that she does not enjoy sex then the best positions are:---  doggy style;entering from behind lying on her side or face to face in sitting position or let her ride you.
Advise for her
The spoon position can be very cozy and intimate. In this case you should lie on your side curled in a C, with your partner facing your back and curled around you. He then enters your vagina from behind while both of you are lying on your sides.

Side by side: Another good choice for late pregnancy, this position will control thrust and keep weight off your belly. You and your husband lie side by side, facing each other. He slips his leg over yours (your leg can be either straight and to the side or bent at the knee) and enters you from an angle. In a variation of this, you lie on your back and he on his side. Put your leg that's closest to him over his legs. He can enter you from the back and side, and still have his face next to yours.

Woman on top: This can be a satisfying position during late pregnancy, allowing you to control pacing and be more comfortable. Make sure, however, that he doesn't enter you too deeply.

Edge of the bed: Try lying down face-up on the edge of the bed, with your legs spread and the soles of your feet on the floor. Your partner can stand or bend over you. This position, however, does allow him to thrust more deeply, so you'll have to tell him how gentle and slow you want him to be.

I had sex till the 8th month of my wife's pregnancy.
I hope this helps.

almondjoy:

You want the poor woman with a little "tyke" boxing away in her tummy to get on her Knees and do what? Abeg ooooooooooooooh.

almondjoy link=topic=96214.msg1720195#msg1720195 date=1196096397:

You will be on the street trying to cast out the demons in between your legs! Lord have mercy!

iha i

@primateola
S*x grandmaster

almondjoy:

Read the story well nwando.

The poster said "heavily pregnant" wife.---Meaning ready to drop at any moment.  The poor woman can't even see her toes at this time. Early stages fine.  Late 3rd trimester--heavens forbid.  The best I can do is pat my husband on the back at this stage.

It is not possible even if the man climb on top of the dinning table!
Pleasing him is not the goal now.  It is to make sure this woman has a safe birthing process. They can always catch up later.  A little sacrifice that's all!
It is not a complicated pregnancy I know--but the woman don tire! Make she rest.  The man can rest too!

@poster

This may be your first baby I suspect. That is why you are freaking out. Wait till #4 comes along. As soon as you get the positive pregnancy test--all sexual activity ceases from the doctor's office. I will like to know what you will do next! The woman no go let you near am at all because of annoyance!

he says she's heavy now but  he has not been getting any action for 4 months plus.
That is the issue I'm adressing.
Unless this woman is now 14 months pregnant as we speak.l

climbing on the dining table bit got me laughing so much.
you this girl.
your imaginations are something else

primateola:

At 5 months she is not so heavy not to have sex though some women don't like sex as much as they potend and on the other hand it could be that you don't let your wife really enjoy sex whilst she's not pregnant therefore may think that you have nothing to offer now that she's pregnant but pain. but since you actually want sex then the logic is spend time with her and let her rest more often and talk soothingly to her while cuddling her gently and be sure that there is no distraction whatsoever.get her in the mood no sex the first time,try again the following day get her in the mood another time and suck her breast much as you can since it is yours and joke about sharing with your incoming baby.more so the Holy Bible admonishes men to suck the breast of his wife.no sex again but do take your bath on each occasion I can bet that the next time you approach she will be more than willing.
If the problem is that she does not enjoy sex then the best positions are:---  doggy style;entering from behind lying on her side or face to face in sitting position or let her ride you.
Advise for her
The spoon position can be very cozy and intimate. In this case you should lie on your side curled in a C, with your partner facing your back and curled around you. He then enters your vagina from behind while both of you are lying on your sides.

Side by side: Another good choice for late pregnancy, this position will control thrust and keep weight off your belly. You and your husband lie side by side, facing each other. He slips his leg over yours (your leg can be either straight and to the side or bent at the knee) and enters you from an angle. In a variation of this, you lie on your back and he on his side. Put your leg that's closest to him over his legs. He can enter you from the back and side, and still have his face next to yours.

Woman on top: This can be a satisfying position during late pregnancy, allowing you to control pacing and be more comfortable. Make sure, however, that he doesn't enter you too deeply.

Edge of the bed: Try lying down face-up on the edge of the bed, with your legs spread and the soles of your feet on the floor. Your partner can stand or bend over you. This position, however, does allow him to thrust more deeply, so you'll have to tell him how gentle and slow you want him to be.

I had sex till the 8th month of my wife's pregnancy.
I hope this helps.

OSANOBUA!!!
Isn't this beyond the scope of this simple thread.
Anyway I hope it solves his problems.

Complicated remedy to a simply problem.

nwandolina you better take notes oh! by the time you sef carry belle, oga's 'abunna' must not be denied o!

Complicated remedy to a simply problem.

debosky:

nwandolina you better take notes oh! by the time you sef carry belle, oga's 'abunna' must not be denied o!

biko don't spoil me

primateola:

At 5 months she is not so heavy not to have sex though some women don't like sex as much as they potend and on the other hand it could be that you don't let your wife really enjoy sex whilst she's not pregnant therefore may think that you have nothing to offer now that she's pregnant but pain.

but since you actually want sex then the logic is spend time with her and let her rest more often and talk soothingly to her while cuddling her gently and be sure that there is no distraction whatsoever.

get her in the mood no sex the first time,try again the following day get her in the mood another time and suck her breast much as you can since it is yours and joke about sharing with your incoming baby.more so the Holy Bible admonishes men to suck the breast of his wife.[/b]no sex again but [b]do take your bath on each occasion I can bet that the next time you approach she will be more than willing.

If the problem is that she does not enjoy sex then the best positions are:---  doggy style;entering from behind lying on her side or face to face in sitting position or let her ride you.
Advise for her
The spoon position can be very cozy and intimate. In this case you should lie on your side curled in a C, with your partner facing your back and curled around you. He then enters your vagina from behind while both of you are lying on your sides.


Side by side: Another good choice for late pregnancy, this position will control thrust and keep weight off your belly. You and your husband lie side by side, facing each other. He slips his leg over yours (your leg can be either straight and to the side or bent at the knee) and enters you from an angle. In a variation of this, you lie on your back and he on his side. Put your leg that's closest to him over his legs. He can enter you from the back and side, and still have his face next to yours.

Woman on top: This can be a satisfying position during late pregnancy, allowing you to control pacing and be more comfortable. Make sure, however, that he doesn't enter you too deeply.

Edge of the bed: Try lying down face-up on the edge of the bed, with your legs spread and the soles of your feet on the floor. Your partner can stand or bend over you. This position, however, does allow him to thrust more deeply, so you'll have to tell him how gentle and slow you want him to be.

I had sex till the 8th month of my wife's pregnancy.
I hope this helps.

Chineke God!  hmmmmmmmmmmmm!  I do not know what kind of people you are but some things up there I have serious problems with.

Doggy style?  On my knees or wetin? Make stroke catch me as blood rushes to my head? Or am I to touch my toes or what?

Woman on top in late pregnancy?--with my swollen ankles and feet?

No problem with "spoon and side by side". The others are questionable.  Well, if it works for you guys,  I ain't mad at you guys at all. --You guys must be gymnasts or acrobats! Efry bodi know im "capables"!




If you were my husband I definitely can never refuse you.  No wonder you can still get that thing going at 8 months.  I see you have covered all bases.  Well hope the poster can learn from you.  I think it is his impatience and lack of  "tenderness" to the wife that is turning her off. 

Ah-ah? After all you described here--even on my delivery bed--I won't say no ooooooooooooooooooooooh!

nwando:

OSANOBUA!!!
Isn't this beyond the scope of this simple thread.
Anyway I hope it solves his problems.

I got scared myself oh!  There are some things you cannot argue with.  This guy just shut my mouth to the point I no even fit to argue anymore!

nwando:

he says she's heavy now but  he has not been getting any action for 4 months plus.
That is the issue I'm adressing.
Unless this woman is now 14 months pregnant as we speak.l

climbing on the dining table bit got me laughing so much.
you this girl.
your imaginations are something else

Well, the fact that he has not got any show for 4 plus months- means he has totally pissed her off with all his nagging---he needs to find a way to reach his wife.  But I tell you, some women just get very irritated at that time and it is nothing personal--they just can't.  The husband should be more sane if he wants to get what he wants--doing a lot of emotional bribery to get her to co-operate. 

Compare his frustrated, nagging approach to that of the grand master here! Mr Primateola!!!  If Mr Primateola was married to the poster's wife---I do not think he would be on Nairaland complaining.  The bobo understand women well well.  Instead of getting impatient and angry or threatening---My dear poster make you try soften ya wife with all the "recommendations" detailed above.  I think approach is the key here.  Even if the woman does not like to, she will at least have mercy on you and "co-operate" small.  Please try not to piss her off!  Goodluck!

Inasmuch as some men lack tenderness toward their wives, which turns the wives off; you will agree with me that some women (pregnant or not) don't care about their husband's sexual satisfaction as soon as they get married, no matter how the man tries.
The later situation is what i think the poster is trying to let us know here.
Let us advice him on that and not compare him to Primatola, whose wife might have been reasonable enough to see the dangers of leaving a man out for 4 to 10 months. _{she might not have had sex with primateola only on the ground that he curdled and took his bath}

Fine. The blame is 50/50. But it is the man that is about to explode at his midsection from "accumulation"! You guys always tell women that the way to a man's heart if his stomach and his "wetin call". Now it is your turns to recognize that the way to a woman's heart is by tenderness and kindness.

For any relationship to work out, both parties have to work on satisfying each other. It is the man's job now to make his wife want him and stop talking down to her about not being "recognizable" and all that. If any man referred to me in such demeaning manner, I would not feel like sleeping with him either. You can imagine what he tells his wife at home. If the wife comes out and tells us her own side of the story, we will not be shocked to find out how abusive verbally and emotionally the poster is towards his wife.

Like I said, he is the one looking for "stuff" from his wife--so he has to find gentler, kinder ways to get it. The wife is not in need of the "stuff" right now!

NEVER!!! , it will kill you "if AIDS no catch you first".

Many thanks nairalanders,I've learnt a thing or two.

However it goes beyond comfortable styles,I think its a thing of the mind & probably apprehension on the part of madam.

Is there anybody whose wife was like this during pregnancy?

too much of popular culture has given people the wrong idea about what is required to get madam in the mood. too much of the time, peeps focus on the physical - pre-intimacy etal.

more often than not - its more in the mind. Your wife is 5 months pregnant. what are you doing to make her feel appreciated?  are you doing more than your fair share of the chores? do you gamely dismiss her fears that she's fat and shapeless? do you jump up and run to satisfy those admittedly irritating cravings that come over pregnant women?

the issue of your wife not being in the mood may simply be about the fact that you've 'changed' and not her being pregnant per se. Madam has told me the same thing more than once - that I'm not exactly the fella she dated for five years.

You may be suprised to find that its some very simple things that you used to do and no longer do that are responsible for your wife's 'frigidity'.

I'm talking as the father of a four month old. be advised, if you think you're deprived now - Nursing is a whole new world. You will have to share madam with your child. you may also find that she is way too tired to do anything as nursing a baby is a full time job and more. i personally think a little demonstration of TLC (suprise gifts, doing the dishes, that sort of thing) will work wonders.

and if all else fails -

<sub>hello mr vaseline

at least masturbation is a lesser sin than adultery</sub>

Well said almondJ   right words get right answers. futhermore poster , i think you should first learn how to say some nice, sppealing things to your wify, like you are a guy, dont tell me you have forgotten  how to scope a woman!!!!!!!!!!!! but still try to communicate with her. and May God give you the grace to cope with holding junior back for a little more time incase scoping your wify does not work out,    and finally adultery would definetly help your marriage by ruining it and we dont want that easy man!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dont try it. or you want to ruin ur marriage? Farabale jooo.

In all honesty--he has a 50/50 chance of his marriage surviving the "adulterous" affair.  How many women leave their homes realistically after the man has populated the whole city with children.  Most women will really put up with that and hope for the best. I am not encouraging adultery but to point out that communication is the issue now not adultery. 

The poster is softening up so let us help him reach the promised land.

Jairzinho:

Many thanks nairalanders,I've learnt a thing or two.

However it goes beyond comfortable styles,I think its a thing of the mind & probably apprehension on the part of madam.

Is there anybody whose wife was like this during pregnancy?

I say wait till baby #4 shows up.  You will be sleeping in separate bedrooms!   Or like oyb said:

oyb:

too much of popular culture has given people the wrong idea about what is required to get madam in the mood. too much of the time, peeps focus on the physical - pre-intimacy etal.

more often than not - its more in the mind. Your wife is 5 months pregnant. what are you doing to make her feel appreciated?  are you doing more than your fair share of the chores? do you gamely dismiss her fears that she's fat and shapeless? do you jump up and run to satisfy those admittedly irritating cravings that come over pregnant women?


the issue of your wife not being in the mood may simply be about the fact that you've 'changed' and not her being pregnant per se. Madam has told me the same thing more than once - that I'm not exactly the fella she dated for five years.

You may be suprised to find that its some very simple things that you used to do and no longer do that are responsible for your wife's 'frigidity'.

I'm talking as the father of a four month old. be advised, if you think you're deprived now - Nursing is a whole new world. You will have to share madam with your child. you may also find that she is way too tired to do anything as nursing a baby is a full time job and more. i personally think a little demonstration of TLC (suprise gifts, doing the dishes, that sort of thing) will work wonders.
and if all else fails -

<sub>hello mr vaseline

at least masturbation is a lesser sin than adultery</sub>

MAJOR  GENERAL WANKA!!! WHERE YOU DEY OH Don't let the religious ones get a hold of that "rosy palmer" gist oh!  Na sin according to some!

Finally listen to what women want too!

tinkerbery:

Well said almondJ   right words get right answers. futhermore poster , i[b] think you should first learn how to say some nice, sppealing things to your wify, like[/b] you are a guy, don't tell me you have forgotten  how to scope a woman!!!!!!!!!!!! [b] but still try to communicate with her.[/b] and May God give you the grace to cope with holding junior back for a little more time incase scoping your wify does not work out,    and finally adultery would definetly help your marriage by ruining it and we don't want that easy man!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is still "young and restless"!  Like oyb said--wait till the baby is born and mama has to breast feed junior for about a year.  The poster will run mad for losing his favorite toys!   Any attempt to mess with them will meet with some serious eye and nose drops that might cause him to choke.  Junior will definitely not appreciate that either and the poster might just get pee'ed and pooped on, every day and night for encroaching.

No sharing please!

@ poster

love making is a thing of the mind its been only 5months and you are already agitated.
first and foremost how about if u try taking ur mind of it and get busy occupying urself with more important and religious stuff u will see that in no time 9months will be over. cos dis isnt about ur wife being pregnant its abt u not havin any self control. which means that anytime ur wife decides not to sllep with you regardless of being preggys or not u will still want to look out and thats bad and unhelathy for your marriage.
ur wife is not stupid the moment she realises that ur dont disturb he anymore for sex she will start to suspect.
so for a married man i guess u shld do the right thing just get ur mind off sex and it wont bother u CAPISH

almondjoy's so bad
No i haven't softened up, on the contrary i spend more time on nairaland nowadays.

As per assisting with chores, pple seem to forget its my first too, I'm even more excited than her,I definitely do more than my fair share of the chores and more.

As per being romantic- una wan try??

To even hold her na problem , her whole body's sore , the boobs a no go area,

Wanking is out of it please, how person go get wife , still de do all that rubbish.

^{Heavenly Father help me}