So funny story but true. It's comparison with this story is indeed apt . It happened to me.

I was In school with my "best friend" and we were quite close . We lived next door and did what guys do. School over we dispersed and served together in the far North. He left and went back to Lagosbut I stayed back to seek opportunities. Well since things looked pretry good in the North and I had secured a well paying job. I asked that he came back to join me as he was finding it hard to survive in Lagos.
Homeboy returned to the North and I found a job for him, housed him with minimal rent and hoped that we could grow together. Well we were cool together and even did businesses together . I felt we were perfect.

4 years after; a calabar girl comes into the picture a's my girlfriend. Quite successful and she could hold her own. Yours truly liked but wasn't looking to settle with her. So I balied after a while but we were still in touch. Unknown to me , home boy went behind me and started chiking the babe. My roommate and confidant o. He was running shows behind me. Didn't have an inkling that it was with my ex shawty but i found out that he was always uncomfortable anytime I knocked at his door and he was on a call.

You know the saying; one day for the thief other days for the owner. We were watching TV and his phone rings and I see a picture of my ex shawty calling. I confront him and he says it is nothing.

What I didn't know was that the dude had gone to do introduction with her and he was planning to marry her in a few months. I was mad. Gave him the whole guy code story but dude won't relent and opted to carry on.
Anyway long story short the fool married the babe and our friendship ended afterwards. Of course he left my house and I had strong words for the babe too. I felt betrayed but what can I say. Love is a foolish something.

One thing is certain he will get what is coming to him sooner than he can imagine.

Dude, no amount of preaching will change your mumuness but let's be clear. The universe will get you.

You don't do such to your friend. Especially your benefactor.

I hope the pounded yam chokes you. People like you don't deserve to live

Funny. I heard he is a doctor

My experience buttresses the point that human nature is such that they look out for self first. I met, dated, proposed and did introduction with a lady in her thirties with the anticipation to marry her three months after that. Well I was charged up and ready to go and I was excited about the whole thing. She came over to my station in one of these northern states and she left after few weeks. I had thought everything was fine when I saw her off to the airport. Well a week after her attitude became funny, she started by asking for a postponement on the wedding, then she became very aggressive and later on she barred my numbers and started acting funny. Before I knew what was happening she started insulting me and saying different things about my capabilities as a man. Well by the grace of God I am a doctor in A government hospital and I own a flourishing practice in my domicile. Sadly no matter how much I tried she never seemed to be ready to come back. Well at a point in the deterioration of our relationship she returned my rings engagement and wedding bands and all the gifts I had given her
She was interviewed by her pastor, my pastor, my folks and she reiterated that she was not coming back. I did not relent even after all these but I had even a stronger resolve to carry on with the whole process. I thought it was a moment of temporary set back that maybe she may come through. How wrong was I. Several texts afterwards. She came out with a bold statement " MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE AS I HAVE MOVED ON WITH MINE". IT hurt but is didn't matter to me. Then the deal breaker.......... she sends me conversations between her and a guy who was chiking her via whatsapp and was professing his love to her and she was tripping. With the caption " I WOULD RATHER MOVE ON WITH THIS GUY, HE IS A BETTER MAN TO YOU". She calls up my folks and tell them that I should stay off her back as well as my siblings. That was the CLOSURE I needed and I must say it was a tough call.

As for her family, they supported their own.
Lessons learnt.
The truth is when it is gone don't fight it, just move
on.

Never put your eggs in one basket, the concept of a side chick for every guy is valid, it is for your sanity, little wonder our fathers always seemed to have one

Old women, middle aged women, girls and baby girls are all the same their psyche is way different maybe it has something to do with hormones.

Never stick to an opinionated women, you can't be so silly to think feminism can work in our society

Beautiful women always feel they have an option.

Lastly never compromise your hustle for a woman.

Brotherly, I understand your friend's plight because I have been there and done that already. It is a very painful experience. Mine was somewhat different but it buttresses the point that human nature is such that they look out for self first. I met, dated, proposed and did introduction with a lady in her thirties with the anticipation to marry her three months after that. Well I was charged up and ready to go and I was excited about the whole thing. She came over to my station in one of these northern states and she left after few weeks. I had thought everything was fine when I saw her off to the airport. Well a week after her attitude became funny, she started by asking for a postponement on the wedding, then she became very aggressive and later on she barred my numbers and started acting funny. Before I knew what was happening she started insulting me and saying different things about my capabilities as a man. Well by the grace of God I am a doctor in A government hospital and I own a flourishing practice in my domicile. Sadly no matter how much I tried she never seemed to be ready to come back. Well at a point in the deterioration of our relationship she returned my rings engagement and wedding bands and all the gifts I had given her
She was interviewed by her pastor, my pastor, my folks and she reiterated that she was not coming back. I did not relent even after all these but I had even a stronger resolve to carry on with the whole process. I thought it was a moment of temporary set back that maybe she may come through. How wrong was I. Several texts afterwards. She came out with a bold statement " MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE AS I HAVE MOVED ON WITH MINE". IT hurt but is didn't matter to me. Then the deal breaker.......... she sends me conversations between her and a guy who was chiking her via whatsapp and was professing his love to her and she was tripping. With the caption " I WOULD RATHER MOVE ON WITH THIS GUY, HE IS A BETTER MAN TO YOU". She calls up my folks and tell them that I should stay off her back as well as my siblings. That was the CLOSURE I needed and I must say it was a tough call.

As for her family, they supported their own.
Lessons learnt.
The truth is when it is gone don't fight it, just move
on.

Never put your eggs in one basket, the concept of a side chick for every guy is valid, it is for your sanity, little wonder our fathers always seemed to have one

Old women, middle aged women, girls and baby girls are all the same their psyche is way different maybe it has something to do with hormones.

Never stick to an opinionated women, you can't be so stupid to think feminism can work in our society

Beautiful women always feel they have an option.

Lastly never compromise your hustle for a woman.

I feel to a large extent several reason should be considered but the most important reason would be that most ladies feel there is a better guy out there for them. Some get into genuine loving relationships and have everything going for them but eventually find themselves in situations where they feel that the guy may not be man enough for them Nd they feel serious hunch to leave and look for someone else hence the wrong attitudes, lack of interest and actions which could best be described as irritating and condescending. The man at that moment feels the urge to ask questions and feels he should try harder to make it work but unknown to him the battle had been lost from the first thought. The blame game goes on and eventually the man is forced to leave and she has her freedom and moves on with the thought of meeting a better man. Then the spiral continues and she meets up with another guy and then the cascade continues and continues. Then she settles for her gate man because menopause is at the corner. Life happens.

We feel obliged to inform you of a rather troubling incident which happened to Dr. Theresa, a Senior Registrar 1 in the department of Psychiatry of Obafemi Awolowo University Teaching Hospital (Ile-Ife) and a dear friend to us all. She is a very gentle, easy going, ever smiling and hardworking resident doctor, but even if she didn't possess any of the aforementioned attributes, she didn't deserve any of what occurred in the duration of this incident.

It all began on Thursday 25th February 2016 at her service apartment building located outside the hospital. It seemed like just another day- a quiet morning with the dew still on the cars parked in the compound and chirping of insects the predominant sound till it was shattered by the shrill shouts of Dr. Okpara. Dr. Okpara is a Wing Commander in the Nigerian Air Force, a resident Doctor in the Dept of Community Medicine in the same hospital where Theresa works, and also resides in that compound. So what could make this man, slightly overweight and bespectacled, irate early on a Thursday morning?

The obstruction of his car in the parking lot within the compound; that's the simple answer, but as it sometimes happens in life, even simple things can devolve into ugly scenarios. As is common in some buildings, the parking space is inadequate and as such tenants have to park behind other cars within the compound. This doesn't constitute the end of the world and tenants occasionally call each other- through the security guard- to move their cars in the morning so that individuals are able to drive out.

According to an eye witness (who is a doctor in the same hospital and also lives within the same compound), Dr Theresa's car was obstructing Dr. Okpara's car and he called her out to move her car. She had told him she was dressing up and would soon be out. It would seem like the problem was settled but that wasn't good enough for him; he kept shouting and verbally abusing her. He didn't stop even when she came out to move her car. Perhaps affronted by her calm despite his torrents of abuses, he physically attacked her as she got into her car to make way for him.

Truth be told, saying physically attacked is sugar coating things. Truth is- and in the manner of calling a spade a spade- he beat her, with a succession of punches, each one meted out with the intent to humiliate her and put her in her place. And when the punches weren't doing a good job of that, he reached for a metal pedal lock as a coda to the lesson he was meting out. Thankfully he was restrained by some of the co-tenants but he did leave a mark, several marks actually, on her.

Theresa has a right nasal bone fracture, cerebrospinal fluid- the liquid which keeps the brain protected within the skull- leak, a deformed face, several bruises, and that's just listing the physical injuries. As it is, she has to decide if she wants major surgery to correct the facial deformity or live with a disfigured face for the rest of her life.

Life is a lot of things and sometimes we get a choice to either look the other way as though nothing has happened or stare tyranny in the face and make our voices heard. Maybe being a member of the Nigerian Air Force is a powerful intoxicant and what better way to demonstrate this than by beating up a woman- one defenseless woman, one who has overcome several odds to be who she is today, one who has lived with sickle cell disease all her life, one who is your sister, daughter, friend, and companion. Maybe it is easier to look the other way but in this fight, I stand with Theresa! #justice4drtheresa.

Thank you all.
CMUL, 2008 Graduating Class of Medical Doctors & Dentists.

We feel obliged to inform you of a rather troubling incident which happened to Dr. Theresa, a Senior Registrar 1 in the department of Psychiatry of Obafemi Awolowo University Teaching Hospital (Ile-Ife) and a dear friend to us all. She is a very gentle, easy going, ever smiling and hardworking resident doctor, but even if she didn't possess any of the aforementioned attributes, she didn't deserve any of what occurred in the duration of this incident.

It all began on Thursday 25th February 2016 at her service apartment building located outside the hospital. It seemed like just another day- a quiet morning with the dew still on the cars parked in the compound and chirping of insects the predominant sound till it was shattered by the shrill shouts of Dr. Okpara. Dr. Okpara is a Wing Commander in the Nigerian Air Force, a resident Doctor in the Dept of Community Medicine in the same hospital where Theresa works, and also resides in that compound. So what could make this man, slightly overweight and bespectacled, irate early on a Thursday morning?

The obstruction of his car in the parking lot within the compound; that's the simple answer, but as it sometimes happens in life, even simple things can devolve into ugly scenarios. As is common in some buildings, the parking space is inadequate and as such tenants have to park behind other cars within the compound. This doesn't constitute the end of the world and tenants occasionally call each other- through the security guard- to move their cars in the morning so that individuals are able to drive out.

According to an eye witness (who is a doctor in the same hospital and also lives within the same compound), Dr Theresa's car was obstructing Dr. Okpara's car and he called her out to move her car. She had told him she was dressing up and would soon be out. It would seem like the problem was settled but that wasn't good enough for him; he kept shouting and verbally abusing her. He didn't stop even when she came out to move her car. Perhaps affronted by her calm despite his torrents of abuses, he physically attacked her as she got into her car to make way for him.

Truth be told, saying physically attacked is sugar coating things. Truth is- and in the manner of calling a spade a spade- he beat her, with a succession of punches, each one meted out with the intent to humiliate her and put her in her place. And when the punches weren't doing a good job of that, he reached for a metal pedal lock as a coda to the lesson he was meting out. Thankfully he was restrained by some of the co-tenants but he did leave a mark, several marks actually, on her.

Theresa has a right nasal bone fracture, cerebrospinal fluid- the liquid which keeps the brain protected within the skull- leak, a deformed face, several bruises, and that's just listing the physical injuries. As it is, she has to decide if she wants major surgery to correct the facial deformity or live with a disfigured face for the rest of her life.

Life is a lot of things and sometimes we get a choice to either look the other way as though nothing has happened or stare tyranny in the face and make our voices heard. Maybe being a member of the Nigerian Air Force is a powerful intoxicant and what better way to demonstrate this than by beating up a woman- one defenseless woman, one who has overcome several odds to be who she is today, one who has lived with sickle cell disease all her life, one who is your sister, daughter, friend, and companion. Maybe it is easier to look the other way but in this fight, I stand with Theresa! #justice4drtheresa.

Thank you all.
CMUL, 2008 Graduating Class of Medical Doctors & Dentists.

Tempt

I know what you as I have gone down that toad before.... " life indeed happens".

I am a proponent of relationship as it is a tough decision to get into one and maintain one. Relationships should be built on the foundation of Love and total loyalty and If you agree with me Sir, that is a tall order especially with so many distractions out there. When the spark begins to diminish it does not mean that you have stopped loving and a break up is not neccesarily next option.

What is pretty obvious from your thesis is that - she won't let you go as she seems to be keen to seeing this through to marriage.

I don't know what happened you guys but this is gonna be a big one for you.

If I may ask? What actually happened? Why do you want to break up?

As it is, my girlfriend of about 7months and I are having some little bit of trouble in our relationship and it borders on infidelity, disregard and mistrust.

While the first is my alleged crime which I admit, the other two are problems that she has.

She is a lady from a divorced home. Her Dad had several wives and I guess this contributed immensely to her inability to condone any act of familiarity with the opposite sex as I have hitherto been quite good at.

At the sight of a females picture or text which sometimes are playfully amorous she snaps and begins a macabre dance of paranoid and delusional dances

While I must admit that I love her and genuinely of course.

This show of destructive tendencies was never what I bargained for.Severally she had asked to leave the relationship for much more flimsy excuses but this current one with a lady I was once involved with seems to have been the last draw and it has fractured the camel's back.

I however want her back so much not because of lack of options: never but because there are no assurances as to whom the next person would be like

I have been traumatised by relationships in the past and I feel I beat myself too hard sometimes

Sometimes our fights had been physically abusive and believe me my folks raised a good man, I would never raise my hand on a woman. But even with such actions I still have strong feelings for her

I'm I delusional or infatuated or just being plain stupid?

Won't it be wise to just let this lady go Nd move on with someone better?

A physically abusive woman can kill right?

I am confused and I feel my mental judgement is clouded by this thing called love and I need a reawakening.

Someone should please wake me up I need to smell the morning coffee.

As it is, my girlfriend of about 7months and I are having some little bit of trouble in our relationship and it borders on infidelity, disregard and mistrust.

While the first is my alleged crime which I admit, the other two are problems that she has.

She is a lady from a divorced home. Her Dad had several wives and I guess this contributed immensely to her inability to condone any act of familiarity with the opposite sex as I have hitherto been quite good at.

At the sight of a females picture or text which sometimes are playfully amorous she snaps and begins a macabre dance of paranoid and delusional dances

While I must admit that I love her and genuinely of course.

This show of destructive tendencies was never what I bargained for.Severally she had asked to leave the relationship for much more flimsy excuses but this current one with a lady I was once involved with seems to have been the last draw and it has fractured the camel's back.

I however want her back so much not because of lack of options: never but because there are no assurances as to whom the next person would be like

I have been traumatised by relationships in the past and I feel I beat myself too hard sometimes

Sometimes our fights had been physically abusive and believe me my folks raised a good man, I would never raise my hand on a woman. But even with such actions I still have strong feelings for her

I'm I delusional or infatuated or just being plain stupid?

Won't it be wise to just let this lady go Nd move on with someone better?

A physically abusive woman can kill right?

I am confused and I feel my mental judgement is clouded by this thing called love and I need a reawakening.

Someone should please wake me up I need to smell the morning coffee.

Like I really don't get it
Why does it have to be about me cheating when in the true sense of it and genuinely I want her back.

I guess men are wired differently from women asides love is not the same as sex. And Yerr I am above 30. 32 actually

ellemystique:
I could never understand how ppl will claim to love you and then cheat on you, it baffles me... I've been in ur ex's shoes once and trust me she's hurting more than you could ever hurt now. To think that you didn't even confess ur unfaithfulness and she had to find out by herself shows you don't deserve her. My advice? Leave her be, you're not the first neither would you be the last guy to see a good woman and let her go all cos of a few minutes of pleasure... One last thing, you're above 30, really?

Word!

focus7:
Guy let that lady go, love and respect in a relatioship should be mutual. A situation where youare the one that want the relationship more the other only makes you suffer because you will always be at her mercy and it shouldn't be so. Beside ladies don't like a man they slap and accept it as his due like a house boy, even if you are not going to hit her back she will respect you more when express your displeasure and warn that such should repeat itself again.

Yerr. I guess I thought it was a man's world and I lost out eventually. I really do wish I could fix things with her... if only

Yerr. You right. But I guess I messed up on this one. Not proud of myself.

My girlfriend of five months and I broke up this morning. I would have been indifferent about it and moved on had it been someone else, but I am finding it pretty difficult to. I guess when you genuinely fall in love it is a different feeling entirely.

This lady and I knew ourselves way back from secondary school and I had always nursed the ambition of dating her, even wrote her a love letter once but liver failed me, never got to drop it with her. Fast forward sixteen years later I got to find out she was available and I took my cue. If my guess is as good as yours we are over 30. So I proposed marriage to her and she was game. The thing is am domiciled in another city entirely but I try ever so often to see her once in a month and when I am very much time available we go for the long haul.

My girlfriend or should I say ex, is the jealous type, she would never have you receive a message from another girl via what ever medium and she would never have you call another woman where she is even if it is work related. I liked it initially as I felt it was the solution to my " serial dating" appetite. I just needed someone to put me in check and love me hard. I guess it was a mistake.

Suddenly it became an obsession and then anger tantrums started flowing everywhere. One time I got back with an ex chic and we "got like that" a couple of times when I was in another town. She found out about my girl and texts her. My girlfriend snapped and called her out and it became dirty. Well came back to explain to my girl and she slapped and kicked me and threw projectiles at me. Interestingly I never did a thing I stood there and watched her as I felt it was penance for my sins. I professed love to her and wanted the relationship more.

So I returned to my domicile and we continued talking but then I observed things changed, she was not my ever sweet baby again and she did become someone else. Someone I did not like, I gave back the vibes that she gave.

Our relationship became ruins afterwards. Communication was missing. We were closer on bbm and Facebook than in person.

So this morning she calls me and says she wants out of the relationship and deletes me off every social media platform she had me on. She cited infidelity and lack of trust as the problem and she was pretty violent about it.

Thing is I love her to death

And Yerr I cheated and I admit I did, I genuinely absolutely love this woman and don't know where to start from.

Just needed to share my experience.

Jarchi:
I fear herpes than hiv aids

while it is highly contractable than Hiv the good thing is that it is easily treated though it still remains latent in the body and could recur at any time.especially when there is an immunocompromised state.