₦airaland Forum

Don't waste your time writing that, he care less believe me, he won't even read it.
Why is it that people who cheats suspects everyone to be a cheat as well?.
Does your mum have a good job?, if yes, then it's best she divorce him and move on with her life.
Look at yourself for one, their marriage is already taking a toil on you and soon it may start to affect your academics.
She should move on with her life, I know why am saying this.

delishpot:
Well, girls should for their own sake learn to talk to men ESP touts. Know your limits with them and if threatened report to an adult who would handle the case properly. Sometimes, evil boys would not care if you are nice to them or not, they want what they want ESP with boys of nowadays expecting every girl they ask out to accept their advances. Boys also mock other boys who are just friends with girls. Nigeria is so sexuali.zed that being friends with the opposite sex without SE,xual attachment is seen as weak and bad #friendzone. My point is, as long as you do not agree to be sexual with them, they would still carry out their wicked intention no matter how you shine your 32 with them. No matter what, there is no excuse for killing her or ra,ping her. No excuse at all.

You are right, that was how a secondary school classmate back then smiled with everyone, whenever she ate anything she gave these guys out of it too, always the first to say goodmorning whenever she passed by, but deep down they harboured hatred for her simply because she said she wanted to face her books oooo. I just realised then that she stopped coming to school and It was only after a few years a fellow classmate revealed she was raped by those same boys and she left lagos due to shame.

Your list is too restrictive, though you may find some one who fits them, however it may take you a while.

You are trolling right? Please, just tell me you are trolling.

[quote author=Godhelpme2017 post=58778674]Thanks for your contribution. We have not really spent so much time together. But sincerely, I could see her true love for me. The first I went to see her in school, I arrived late night around 10pm, I slept in her room(off campus) while she went to sleep with one of her friends in the school hostel. We spent about 8 hrs together the next day which happened to be Sunday including church service.

The second time was when I went to her family house to meet her parents about (Lagos to Ondo). I was there for about 6hrs while she prepared the food, I was being entertained by her parents. This time, I knew I was travelling for my PhD but none of them knew. The third time of meeting and most emotional was at airport. My flight was 6:10am but I was surprised how she made it to see me off as early as 4am. This is someone who has no family in Lagos. She told me how her friend helped her and arranged with someone with a car to drive them to the airport so early after travelling from her school down to Lagos though within SW but I cant but really appreciate anyone who could do thing like this just because of me.

The most surprising of this is that, my friend told me that she waited till around 6:20am to confirm my flight departure because I left them around 4:30am, they we not allowed to follow me at a point in the airport. Altogether, we've spent less than 24hrs being physically together.[/7quote]

This here is the main issue, relationship of three years yet you both haven't t spent quality time together. I think you guys need to get to know one another on a one on one level since she is on break from school.

They want you to be yourself.
One of the biggest mistake you can make is to change yourself just to please a guy.
Right from the onset of the relationship you were a square peg trying to fit into his round hole.
Nothing attracts a guy more than a lady who is confident in herself and needs no validation from anyone.
Mind you there's nothing wrong in wanting to please your man, but the moment you start changing your identity, you lose yourself in him and that's not healthy.

Yes you shouldnt have done it with him, but dust yourself and move on or else you might develop low self esteem soon with the way things are going because i read you asked him to pick between you and the girl when you could have just broken up with him.

I miss Amala and ewedu, it's been a while. Oh no, why do you have to remind me?.

elantraceey:
First thing I'll tell you is do not let anyone pressure you into marriage, you're the only one that's going to be in the marriage with your spouse so take your time and be wise.



Secondly a girls virginity status has little or nothing to do with her personality, the part that should only bother you is the abortion she had but well such is life, no one is flawless and she has already opened up to you from inception so you should forget about it, there's no one above mistake and go for fertility test if you want to ensure her womb is intact , Just know what you want in a woman and if she has it then you're good to go.



And virginity is not overrated as someone, there are virgins above 25 who even get to have more opportunities to have sex than nonvirgins self but chose to remain chaste in this perverse generation so don't believe that crap.



But before you think of getting married to any one go to God personally in prayer not to some priest or pastor and seek his face and direction, he's not difficult to find.

Thank you beautiful
Was going to say that but just chose not to. Really I don't know why people keep saying that. While reading that i was like "can you please stop already?".

Nerdg:
Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

To be honest, I feel she doesn't love you enough to desire sex with you, so that could be the reason why she did it with others, but not with you.
Women are not like men, take yourself as an example, you claim to love her, yet slept with her neighbour. However with women, the feelings must be present. She might like you but am sure she isn't physically attracted to you. Hope when you guys eventually settle she won't have one excuses or the other to avoid getting intimate with you.
You are the one in love I guess.

Really after going through the posts and comments , I think the best we could all do (both guys and ladies) is to beg these married men to leave the single ladies alone and focus on their marriages.
Why guys?, well because the so called side chicks already know that these men are married and they dont plan on leaving their wives or having a second wife, so they do have a back up plan in their boyfriends whom truly love them and look forward to getting married to these girls someday. Which means there is a high probability of some of your girlfriends being a sidechick (you never know), mind you i dont mean this as an insult. It doesn't matter who these men are cheating with,( be it a single lady or a married woman), as long as it isn't their wives, definitely those ladies are someone else's women, But who?, we don't know. It could be anyone typing on here right now singing all men cheat. For Goodness sake, these men don't cheat with men they cheat with someone else's women.
I can't tell you the number of times married men ran after even into the church premises on a Sunday morning with their rings boldly on their fingers and I feel nothing but disgusts for them and pity for their wives.
Some women also need to please stop running after married men , yes I said it. I have some friends who personally have a thing for married men and would hate you if you try to dissuade them from it. It takes both sides to put a stop to infidelities in marriages but the onus is mostly on the married men.
I have a cousin he is married anything other than good moring from the opposite sex he doesn't encourage it, if you stop him or call him for something urgent, he will personally tell you he is busy or in a haste and refer you to his wife and he is also extremely prayerful so no need to fear jazz .

Must adore Christ and live totally for him in words thoughts and action, a man with a conscience.
Someone who has a high regard for me( respect is top on my list, if you can't respect me you can't wife me)
Someone who understands the concept of compromise, and we always meet ourselves at the middle in all of our decision making process.

Its so pathetic how most women stylishly shift the blame away from their husband unto the other woman.
I still find it hard to comprehend the rationale behind such acts, is it due to fear that challenging the husband things might turn violent?, or the fact that you see your husband as a helpless baby or a puppet on a string who has no will of his own and is being manipulated or forced into what he can't control.

Now I know why some men cheat, such poor things, helpless souls, is never their fault right? They are just so tempting and alluring that the other women wont just let them be.
If she leaves your husband alone, I hope you know there are billions of other women out there who can still take over from where she left?.
The problem is your husband, and his roving eyes he should leave all these girls alone and face his marriage. If there are no buyers, there won't be any seller because the sellers would pack up and close their shops.

[[/color]quote author=Olive4 post=58477149]pls I need your help right now.... I am so down

I have a guy who I have being dating for close to 7months now... he is very caring and loving but sometimes I doubt his love for me.
so in order to know how much he loves me, I lied to him that I was pregnant and there is no way I am going for abortion (I intend keeping it) . he quickly suggested that I should flush it or else his hands are off, that I want to tie him down with pregnancy... infact he said alot of things. I was really hurt by his words and that made me very angry and I warned him never to call my line again. the way he changed all of a sudden,surprised me. he is 23 and I am 22

I know I went too far, but I miss him now and his numbers has been off since.

I need your advice pls[color=#990000][/quote]You went too far, how ?
You were being smart my dear, and now you know where you stand with him if such eventually happens. For it might, if you take him back and the sex continues because it's obvious you guys don't use protection.

I would say move on, but you might still be hung on him since emotion isn't a switch you just turn off .
So please if you take him back, please kindly close your legs, before this expensive joke becomes a reality and he totally abandons you.

And no darling, you haven't lost him, instead he just lost you.

TANKDESTROYER:
I'm shocked....shallow minded comments... everywhere.....


if he can't wait then let him go... be patient let God lead u to someone who shares the same values with u

Thank you
I have walked the same path and it was easy, for you just need to move with men who have the same approach to dating as you do.
It may be rare, but they are everywhere.

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]I'm sure that is how she has been breaking up and moving on till she got to this stage of being 30 and single.

Madam some things have to change i'm sorry. Not everybody fancies that virginity thing anymore. Allow yourself have sex and make it part of a relationship, don't place your importance on it. If the relationship doesn't work out there are a million losses to count other than sex.

It should be part of a relationship activity just like going to the movies or cooking together. Not a basis for a relationship.[/color]

Who's is to say if she had made a sex part of her relationship she would have gotten married since eons.

Sir, some things have got to change you say, but not her standards or principles.
Sure not everyone fancies virginity anymore, hence the reason I emphasized on her getting into relationships with people of like minds.
Trust me they are out, for not everyone is doing it as we were forced to believe.

Forgive me, but to Compare sex to cooking or going to the Cinemas to someone like her is to trivialize it.

Mind you reason she is single is because most guys (not her) have made it the basis for a relationship, for if sex is just a part of the relationship (just like cooking together) like you reiterated and not the whole package, then why hasn't her relationship lasted?, after all it's just one omitted part out of all the other parts that makes up the whole components of a relationship. Removing just one part shouldn't hurt, right?

Most people don't cook together, nor do they go to the Cinemas( but are most likely into other activities) and they are still together.Considering that there are various activities you can engage in, in relationships, why is sexual activity a fixed and constant activity expected by most in a relationship?.

Break up with him and move on with someone who respects and also has the same standards ( talking from experience).

It's so appalling how human hurt each other all for vanity's sake

I have phobia for commitment reason goes thus;

I feel being in a relationship could stifle me, am a free spirit, I love doing what I want, when I want and how i want, hate feeling restricted.
Fear of being taken for granted( over familiarity ish).

I have a pure heart, I pray and fast for you and everyone close to you without your knowledge
I am very helpful, and selfless
Honest to a fault, so no cheating or white lies
High contentment level, so no need to get scared I might be swept away by another guy who has more than you .
Very optimistic,resilent and a go getter
Very independent
Easy going and I tend to mind my business so no causing problem or having unnecessary tete-a-tete with the neighbours

[quote author=adabenji post=58348870]I don't want to believe I'm under bondage cos only guys who are still struggling to make it come to me for serious relationship. When i accept and join them in hustling and praying something good eventually comes and they break up with me.
What do I do?[/quote]
If you aren't a struggling babe then stop dating struggling dudes Simple. I pray you don't fall prey anymore to golddiggers.( I know this may sound harsh, because not all broke guys are like that) but golddigging applies to both sexes now.
No you are not cursed, you just seemed to be the architect of your problem.
I know this for sure because same thing happened to my cousin, she is married now to someone worthy of her.
She met this guy selling second grade clothes at one small shop close to her office. He was educated but couldn't get a job at the time, hence he did that to keep busy. She always patronises him on her way back from work.
She helped him secure a mouth watering job through her mother contacts, but after a few months he started giving her attittudes and he eventually broke up with her.

[quote author=Blackhawk03 post=58352600]
I disagree. I know someone that is going through this right now and she ain't even anywhere close to being "broke" or "classless". She is rich, rich not just okay ooo. The guys either come as broke, struggling, average or just okay but months into the relationship, boom boom! They are rolling in money, things change for good but na then, them dey remember say she no dey good enough oooo. [/quote[color=#990000]][/color]
Same thing almost happened to me, these broke dude was asking me out, but was billing me at the same time.
I had not even agreed to date him yet, ( was still observing him )but he was already talking about I helping him to travel overseas, supporting him with money for business and how much my company pays me every month. I ran away and didn't look back.
Since then struggling guys became a no no for me, if a guy isn't on the same page with me, I am not interested.
Mind you before that one I had dated a broke guy and it seemed he was always trying to rip me off( I remember two days into the so called relationship he stupidly asked if i have an American passport because he doesn't want to stay forever in his country). But I don't fall because I always went into my relationships with the belief that if i don't ask you for money, you also dont have the right to ask me too simple .

Sorry for what you went through, but don't you have any prove to back up your claims, like recorded phone class, messages etc.?

[[color=#990000]quote author=Michellekabod post=57689413]
First of all, in reference to your views on deltans. Not all deltans are ugly, the igbo part of delta(anioma) are not ugly. I am proudly a delta igbo and beautiful one. Below is a picture of me and my younger sister
Secondly,there is prejudice in the list. The op is a Yoruba guy that is why. In the depth of his heart he knows Yorubas are the ugliest compared to the other two tribes(igbos and Hausa's).
Here is my list
1.abia
2.enugu
3.adamawa(fulanis)
4.anambra
5.imo
6.ebonyi
7.delta(igbo part)
8.awka ibom
9.rivers
10.kogi(ebiras)
The Yorubas would be the last on any list. The lagosians they hail as beautiful are mostly resident in Lagos, not that Lagos in their state[/quote)[/color]
Hello there
I dont know why, but I found your comment about yorubas being ugly amusing.
I am a full fledged yoruba lady (both parents are yorubas)
Yet I receive compliments every single day not from men alone but women and children (yes I said children, random children who walk up to me and say aunty you are very beautiful).
Being beautiful has nothing to do with where you came from, so enough with the generalization. I also noticed most people who compliment me always apologise at the end for mistaking me for an igbo person and mutters underneath their breath "she doesn't look like a yoruba person", "she looks too beautiful for a Yoruba lady", all that and what's not. Really, you guys have me confused. How is a yoruba person supposed to look ? Such statements are quite similar to statements like you look too pretty for a black girl yet we scream our lungs out shouting racism but ignore tribalism .

You are in no position whatsoever to get her a new phone, allow her to sort herself out. There's no need to treat her like a damsel in distress.
Be careful the more you give the more she craves. Meanwhile you started it by recharging her phone, while start what you can't finish, Well it's not too late for you to retreat.

Throughout your relationship journey, were you guys cordial and did you develop close contacts with his family to the best of your ability?.
Because I believe even if they were told that about you, the way you had presented yourselves over the years should prompt someone in the family to vouch for you and their perception of you at the end of it allwould definitely overide that .

Very possible
Stay off triggers, erotic movies, & music videos that idolizes sex, also work on your thoughts by feeding on the word of God.

lebete3000:
I never said I dated any lady. What I said applies to d everyday female specie one sees. I never said they should like my low self esteem as I myself loathe the way I am already. I just said people shouldn't have taken advantage of my weakness to plan my ruin for no evil I did. I never took advantage of emotionally weak ppl. But all my life ppl have shown me how stvpid I've been. I've decided to take to their correction.

Ok
Permit me to say that the power to not let people take advantage of you is actually in your hands. Because the bitter truth is most people will always want to take advantage, you are just one of the few kind ones.
You don't fight something you don't like by being that same thing you don't like, else you end up being that same thing you claimed to detest.

I don't know if you would like to give a particular scenario where you where taken advantage of your write up was a bit vague.

[color=#990000][/color]

zicoraads:
This one iz not low self esteem ooo. Na reality check do me. As in, when you see a lady you know for sure her hairdo will most likely be more than your monthly take home pay. I don't even see academics, exposure and age as being above my league. I see it more in the financial aspect.

Exactly, and believe me the fact that she was above your league was what mesmerized you and the fact that you were blown away by her proved she truly was above your league, Because if she was the regular kind of ladies you were opportune to interact with on a daily basis i bet you wouldn't bat an eyelid and you might not even notice her in the first place, if you were on her level or higher, for you would definitely have dated or came across others you feel were better than her.

[color=#990000][/color]

zicoraads:
Tosine. This one iz not low self esteem ooo. Na reality check do me. As in, when you see a lady you know for sure her hairdo will most likely be more than your monthly take home pay. I don't even see academics, exposure and age as being above my league. I see it more in the financial aspect.

Exactly, and believe me the fact that she was above your league was what mesmerized you and the fact that you were blown away by her proved she truly was above your league, Because if she was the regular kind of ladies you were opportune to interact with on a daily basis i bet you wouldn't bat an eyelid and you might not even notice her in the first place, if you were on her level or higher, for you would definitely have dated or came across others you feel were better than her.

If we base our understanding on what a league actually means then it's a big YES. Everyone can't be in your league. A lady can be way out of your league and same goes for the guy also.
Whether we like it or not, we all have leagues and categories in which we fit in. It could be due to our social status, educational level, financial standing, or personality itself etc.
However that doesn't mean we can't relate well with each other, but there have to be a deeper level of understanding.

Hmmm, I just want to implore you not to change for anyone and don't change who you are just to get back at others. The kind of girls your friends go for, are those the kind of girls you also want in your life?.
Just be a better version of yourself because only then would you meet the right one for you.The only part you need to work on is your low self esteem ( believe me that's where the problem came from)which might have been obvious to who ever you have dated and trust me it's not attractive.
You can ooze out self confidence and radiate a high self efficacy without being an asshole( like you mentioned) Always remember "rudeness is a weak man imitation of strength". Always try to create a balance, be nice but not gullible, be generous but don't allow yourself to be used. It all about balance just don't go overboard and you will be fine.