one shark up b4 d wife start third world war with am, infact it good make u knw d character of ur partner o

God of Mercy (GOM)

Una no even mention D drummer boy, Ralia d sugar girl, Without a silver spoon etc etc

B4 dey kill d mami water im warn say anybody wey chop am go get instant belle, be it a man or a woman,becos im knw wetin u lagos pipu fit do

@Idowuogbo I no b alabi yellow I b Alabi Handsome. go check google Two men wey dey make lov wit a mosquito wey dem catch 2day&mami water wey dey c 4inside swimming pool

BROKEN NEWS!!!

Two men has been caught Raping a Mosquito beside Abalti barracks 2day. They were cot by a soja man & d right action has been taken 2 disiplin dis men. Meanwhile a sea goddess (mammy water) is seen inside d National Stadium swimming pool today bt dey don kash am kill am & go put d body 4inside Museum. If u 1t 2 av a luk go any museum wey dey near u,u go c am

Why is Nigeria d best country in d world? Becos corruption is legalised

I am sumtin when a poor man sees me he throw me away, when a rich man sees me he keep me in his pocket & when a small child sees me he licks me like sweet. What am I

LDKMD (Laff Don Kill Me Die)
WIDC (Walahi I Dey Craze)
IDL (I Dey Listen)
WUD (Where U Dey)
IDLO (I Don Log Out)

One day a man was eating wit his son peacefully in d dinning room, not until suddenly d boy wants 2 start discussing wit his father
Junior: Daddy see, (his dad shut him up)
Dad: will u shut up junior aw many times av I warned u not 2 talk while eating
Junior: I'm sorry sir
After they finished eatin d man called his son & wanted 2 find out what Junior was tryin 2 say while they were eatin
Dad: Junior what were u tryin 2 say while we were eating.
Junior: oh dad 4get, it's of no use again. I just wanted 2 tell u dat I saw a dead flying insect in ur food but u wldn't let me talk

Well, 10God I already got one. A lovin Afghanistan woman

I'm looking 4a wife who can
1. Prepare semo inside cocacola bottle
2. Use petrol cook rice
3. Boil petrol as h2o 4 tea
4. Use petrol chop semo
5. And finally wey go dey use petrol baf d pikins 4 mornin & nights.

Here's a yoruba rap
show me ur luv,
to o ba fe kin gbe e lo court
ki lo n se e má ma dull
I just wanna av sum fun.
Sori bo se wa yii
awon eyan royin e fun mi
won ni bo sori fun mi
pe mi o ni dele royin.
Emi gan o de kere, wa be mi naa nibe
o da mi loju pe iwo lo ma koko bebe
taba ti bere ise,nse lo ma ma w'abebe
coz pressure tin ma impose le e, o oni le withstand e

My own opinion

ATAHIRU JEGA

GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN

OBASANJO

ATIKU ABUBAKAR

BABANGIDA

BUHARI

etc, etc,

Poverty

There was goin 2b a very important intermational football match @ d stadium. Any1 who 1ted 2 get in had 2 buy his ticket @least a week b4. A few minute b4 d match was goin 2 begin, all d gates were shut so dat d crowd of pple who had no tickets cud not force deir way in. Jst den a stadium employee who was standin inside one of d gate saw a boy pushin his way btw d legs of d crowd. Atlast d boy reached d gate, put his hand in his pocket, pulled out a ticket & asked d man 2 open d gate. The man opened it so dat d boy cud get tru. He noticed dat d boy was very small, so he said, 'Have u com by urself? Ur father likes watching football, doesnt he? 'Oh yes', said d boy, 'he does very much.' 'den y hasnt he come with u? 'Oh,' replied d boy, 'he's still @ home, lookin everywhere 4 dis ticket!'

@larry ok now mabinu. No vex

If u can c me with ur eyes, then definitely I'm not invisible

@last

@larry-sun, not dat I'm rude but it is common-sensical. If ur father has 5 children and one of em is a bastard dat means u r not up to 5 mo niyen & as u can c u r a Nigerian and u com get chacha cheche chichi chocho as siblings, she dey no b chinese ni?

It must definitely b u now, abi all ur chinese, cha che chi cho brothers r bastards

When it is a toy or when I take its pic. I will carry it with a hand

@parki. Y u com atikulize am so. U com aticulize all im plan

So u neva c chicken socks b4, that means u must av neva heard about d rooster condom @ol

Level.
Deed.
Lawal.

Wo I no fit think, I don dey sleep

Ahh! Finally I c sum1 wey fit wash cloth with petrol and dry am on top gas cooker

The quick brown fox jump over the lazy dogs