Assets sales....comedy

Can't believe nothing was mentioned of agro, mining, steel production...this pastor has lost gods phone num..

This is what a friend told me about Saraki.

Saraki is cursed by his father that's why he's going through all these. I'm here working my ass out, and no father's curse. If this is what a father's curse does, then I want to be like Saraki.

Whether you work in oyeh kompini or not, life's equation of demand and supply still holds. Sheekaynah

cupidhero:

Hehe....puny god!
The hulk go smash kratos back to Sonyopolis.
Mention Thanos and Doomsday when you talk about hulk.

He should compare kratos to the likes of wolverine, atom, or Shazam.

fiizznation:
Did you just said that how many herdsmen are killed? My friend you need to check your head and your conscience. So a herdsman life doesn't matter because he is not a being? Playing the victim card won't resolve these issues. Do you even know there are some communities in west Africa who kill Fulani people and use some parts of their bodies for fetish things? Look all these things are not new news, the have been happening and media houses don't talk about them.

Bruv,

The question is: why were the fulanis killed in the first instance?

I'm sure you know what Root CausCause Analysis is.

Huh?

Because it's getting to the end of the month?

They want to collect salary.
They want to bring bill again.
They want to cut light again
They want us to beg them again

AltarBoy1:
lol. is making the panel laf part of the score mark.

Yeah bro...not saying you should go there and be basketmouth o...smartly answer their questions and know when to add "targeted" humor.

With this, they'll forget you ever made a mistake or they didn't invite 2.2 in the first place.

AltarBoy1:
Pardon my typo and formats, na small phone I dey use.

I have been contemplating whether to create this thread or not, cos my experience was kinda embarrassing for me. But lo and behold, I was shortlisted for the next stage. So I decided to share this just so that others will pick a point or two from it (thats if there is any).
I made it to the interview stage after two tests. So as usual, I got myself prepared for the interview, researched about the company, got answers to some possible interview questions.
Fast forward to the venue of the interview, I met some other candidates at the gate. Some were with their jotters, rehearsing their answers while others are just whining away time. So I just walk up to one girl that was standing alone to chat up with her before the interview start.

Few minute later, they called in the first person. After about 20 min, they called in the second person. Then next they called me in
The panel was made up of 3 people, a lady with two other men. From what I later gathered, the lady is the zonal MD and the two men were from the HR department.
After sitting down, they requested for my documents and photocopies, which I presented to them. They were all quiet, scanning through my documents until the lady spoke up.
Lady: Can you give us one good reason why you graduated with 2.2
Me: *Silent for a while* Plz repeat the question.
Lady: *Repeats*
Me: Well, there is no excuse for failure in life. If I have to give any excuse, it should be why I made 2.1 or first class against all odds and not why I made 2.2. So I dont think I have any reason to give, even if there is, I wouldnt say it.
Lady: *Silent while looking at me*
Man1: You just said 2.2 is failure, can you tell us why you used that word failure.
Me:*see as I put myself for wahala* Well, technically speaking, I called it failure cos currently in the labor market, 90% of all job vacancy requires 2.1 and above. Its only few that accept 2.2. And giving the population of the unemployed graduates, having a 2.2 is really a disadvantage. Thats why I used the word failure.
Man2: What do you mean by technically?
Me: Conditionally or under a certain condition.
Lady: Now, does it mean that you are technically a failure
Me:*I don F-up with this word wey I use* Technically am not,*can see the smile/laff on their face* If I am, I wont be sitting right in front of you considering the two aptitude tests that one have to scale before been here.
Lady: Maybe luck was on your side.
Me: Luck cant just choose only me among all the 100s of candidates that attended the tests.
Lady: Yes it can
Me: *Silent**in my mind, I was like, e b like say na luck carry you reach this position wey you dey now.*
Man2: Now, tell us why we should hire you?
Me: *smiled**didnt know that the smile was so obvious. So as I was about answering the question, the lady cuts in*
Lady: Why are you smiling?
Me: Nothing ma.
Lady: It cant be nothing, tell us why you are smiling.
Me: *Feeling Scared* Nothing ma, maybe its cos I have a smiling face.
Lady: How can you have a smiling face when you have been boning since you came in here. Even your passport says it all.
Me: *feeling more scared* with due respect ma, its nothing.
Man1: If you dont tell us, I think you should just go so we can call in the next candidate.
Me: *confused and scared, I just decided to say anything* I am smiling because I was expecting that particular question. *decide to add salt and pepper* in fact, we have been rehearsing the answers to this question and some other possible questions outside before I was called in.
Man1: So you already crammed the answers.
Me: Not really.
Man2: Then what/how
Me: Well, I have come up with some possible answer that suits my personality
Man2: And you think that answer is good enough.
Me: *By now, am already confused, so I was just saying anything that comes to my mind* Well, at least its good enough to impress the HR.
Lady: Is that what you think
Me: *Silent*
Man1: Ok, Now answer the question
Me: Well, Let me just say it the way it is in my mind. You should hire me because am not going to fail.
Man2: What do you mean by you are not going to fail.
Me: I have been unemployed for a long time, so if given the opportunity, I will anything that I can to sure that I dont go back to my unemployed status.
*All silent*
Me: things within the banks policy and interest
Lady: Is that the answer you came up with.
Me: No. I dont want to use it again cos its just to speak English and doesnt tell the real me since is something I picked over the net and modified.
Man2: Can we hear it.
Lady: No, just leave him *turning to me* You read chemical engineering, and you want to work in a bank. Are you not trying to go off your career?
Me: Well, even though I have a background in engineering, I do not have a career yet until I gain experience in a particular field, from there I can build my career.
Lady: Do you think you can survive in the bank as an engr.
Me: Engrs are trained to be flexible and adaptive. I believe I can and will succeed in the banking sector. If Mr. XXXX (the current CEO of the bank) and Mrs. YYYYY (one of their senior executive) can succeed, I see no reason why I cant.
Man2: Why are you comparing yourself with them?
Me: Cos they both read a course that has nothing to do with banking.
Lady: Name them.
Me: Electrical Engineering and Microbiology
Man2: So you have the faith that you can do it.
Me: Yes. Plus the fact that I always have luck *grin*.
They just burst out laughing.
Man1: Tell us any three recent happenings in Nigeria or policies by the FG that is affecting the banking industry
Me: TSA, Fight against corruption and drop in oil price.
Lady: Explain them.
Me: *did the little explanation that I can* Summary is that money is leaving the bank
Lady: Go, personnel will get back to you
Naso I begin dey go come dey think say I don f-up Till just last week, I got a text that that I was successful, that they will get back to be for the next stage.
#Godwin

Bro...I noticed that if you can make them laugh, then you have 60% mark already.

Great...
Let the unveiling begin...

No more ninjas

semid4lyfe:



Alaba is an Electronic/Electrical Appliances market.

Kindly define technology

Eehhrrr, one correction OP.

Computer village isn't the largest tech market in west aflika, kindly visit alaba int'l.

Well u could call it runs, but they call it advanced customer relations and follow-up strategy

Nawao...

Expect our pastors own to follow...

Meanwhile,

Every thread created was a hit
Back to back

From politics to education to jobs.

Yet no front page.

Edumare punish MODs...

Lalasticlala if u like ban me




Na joke I dey o

Dear Seun, MODs, and the honourable users of nairaland.

I want to bring to your notice the programme called antispam bonce.

Whoever that wrote that program should upgrade it. I don't see any reason a comment would be made and them the bonce would ban u for no reason. I mean, u just make a simple comment, with an hyperlink for proof and then you're banned. The annoying part is...it'll notify u on ur profile that you're banned in ,say, crime section, but it goes round all sections.

Pls and pls upgrade that program, not all links to external websites are for advert.

This is the reason users keep having up to 6 accounts on nairaland.


Shioor

384m to renovate guest house how much does it cost to build a new one then?

When Etiebet ( or what's her name again?) proposed to 680m for her kitchen, she was kicked out.

How is the different?

Year remain small na


Anything can happen..


Who's in for airport hotel swimming pool.... Pls join me

Na so one con snatch ma babe for school o..hin tell the babe say God say na she hin go marry...the babe sef gree

End time pastors

OYINBOGOJU:


Thats right.

How would you feel if the last ipod protest was about development and their leaders corruption?

Trust me the government will be forced to develop those areas to what it suppose to be.

A protest of that magnitute was at the right time of budget presentation and that would have forced the government to lay more emphasis on the development of Igbo land.

But instead of bringing government closer they brought more distance.

True....right approach,wrong motive..

OYINBOGOJU:


Better you say pocket politics killing Igbos.

Doing the right thing at the wrong time because they lack foresight.

For Example:- You can`t be fighting for free Biafra and still claiming some compensation for the dead.

Sane people knows FREEDOM IS NOT FREE,IT COMES WITH HEAVY PRICE.

A true igbo leader should have let those miscreants know what they were doing.

I agree with you bro...they're still Nigerians or is there a nation like Biafra yet?

Igbos or others...we're all impacted by pocket politics.

I also wonder...when it comes to Edo state development!

Edo state, twice, produced vice President ...in the persons of Augustus Aikhomu, under IBB in 1986 and Michael Akhigbe under Abubakar in 1998.

Pocket politics is what's killing this country

Naija trending evriwia...


They'll soon refer yu jintao a Nigerian!

Like why oshiomole wears conductor clothing


Thiefs and robbers odinkwa same.....money miss.

I don't skip to conclusion!

Let's wait till next year and see how the "change" game plan will materialize for good.

Mr. President is still clearing grass, with sharp and blunt machete.... Let's give hin till April 2016...

After all GEJ used 6yrs, Obasanjor used 8 yrs...Na only one yah oga go use come April 2016.

Despite all these people, never give up, never give in....the hustle continua, Vitoria acserta!

My crush

End time boy

Ghana make sense die...resign...

For here na lay off be d default action point

rawpadgin:
ok
will get back to u

Aii bro

Wetin concyn nairaland with biafra

Where is my anger for inspiration!?

So who do we call the fire below

The hospital should contact the bus/transport company..they have a manifest of the travellers. There should be a headway from there...

Hmmnn
Only survivor! I guess his name is Emmanuel and he's got a loaded future