₦airaland Forum

For the first time in my entire life on earth I was seeing a gentle bus conductor. He was smartly dressed and had good accent. He smelt nice too unlike our regular conductors. He made it look like a white collar job.... "ma'am, can I have ur money?" He said almost in a whisper to the lady beside me. She handed her fare to him. We all gave him our money and he gave us our balance without much ado. He talked like he didn't like noise. After some time, he got down from d bus and waved at us all. He mixed among the crowd... "Your conductor is nice. He must be an Igbo guy" I said to the driver from the back seat. "yes. He's so calm and coordinated" another lady in front added. "Who? The driver asked "Your conductor" the woman beside me replied. "Ah!! I no get conductor oo. I de do my tin by myself" the driver said smiling "I mean the young man who just alighted" I told him "No.. How that kind person go be conductor. Na passenger. I just carry am for junction" he said "But he collect our money for back nah" The bus screeched and stopped immediately. "Who collect Una money? The driver asked "Your conductor" we responded He came down from the bus.... "I go slap person here o. Una gimme conductor? Wetin be this Na? Make Una gimme my money Biko" the driver roared We all refused to pay initially but when he became violent, some of us paid My problem is not the guy's calmness or fraudulent act. My problem is "Where exactly did he get all the change and guts? I'm tired of Nigeria. Good night

Got this piece and it's really funny
*I LOVE THIS STORY,
A woman went shopping. At the cash counter,
she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He could not control his curiosity and asked,
"Do you always carry your TV remote with
you? "
She replied " No, not always, but my husband
refused to accompany me shopping today
because of football match, so I took the
remote."
*Moral: Accompany and support your wife in
her hobbies.....*
The story continues....
The cashier laughed and then returned all the
items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier
what he was doing.
He said, "your husband has blocked your credit
card.........."
*MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your
husband.*
Story continues...
Wife took out her husband's credit card from
purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn't
block his own card.
*Moral: Don't underestimate the power and
wisdom of your WIFE..*
Story continues...
After swiping, the machine indicated, 'ENTER
THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE'.......
*Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine
is smart enough to save him!*
Story continues....
She smiled to herself and reached out for the
mobile which rang in her purse.
It was her husband's phone showing the
forwarded SMS.
She had taken it with the remote control so he
doesn't call her during her shopping.
She bought her items and returned home
happily.
*Moral: Don't underestimate a desperate
woman!*
Story continues....
On getting home, his car was gone.
A note was pasted on the door
"Couldn't find the remote. Gone out with the
boys to watch the premiership match. Will be
home late. Call me on my phone if you need
something".
Damn... He left with the house key too.
*Moral: Don't try to control your husband.*
*You will always lose*
HAVE A WONDERFUL NIGHT

[b][/b]Stories
MORNING VIBES
1" I Fainted Near Your Provision Shop And U Are Pouring Water In My Mouth What Happened To Milk And Malt
2" Are you proud of your uncle
I Mean The one from your father's side??
3" If you can push FirstBank doors, believe me
my sister, you can push that your relationship
to marriage.
4" So a cheat doesn't want to marry a cheat
in this country.
I thought iron sharpneth iron?
5" You may think Nigerian police are useless
until they start looking for you
6" Difference btw I get belle & I am pregnant.
I am pregnant na goodnews
I get belle fit make a guy dey look 4 seat belt
on top bike
7" Sometimes, I just dress good, look into the
mirror and go back to bed and start shedding
tears of joy because money go fit me.
8" Person Wey Tell Me Say Love Nah Scam wan
do Wedding dis comi g Saturday
This life no balance at all
9" How can I buy chicken for 10k and you
expect me not to drink the blood
Is your brain paining you??
10" I remember in a school debate I supported;
“education is better than money".
Money pls forgive me, I was a child
11"Went to ma girlfriend house yesterday,I
refused to eat so that she will beg me cuz she
offend me
Instead she ate all the food ,washed the pot
and even went to sleep
JUST IMAGINE
U sef imagine
12" "Make sure you finish the food before you
eat the meat "
Biko is that a Home training , Choice or
Poverty ?
14" A girlfriend that can not use her boyfriend
as next of kin...
Is that one girlfriend
15" Everybody is equal in every Igbo occasion
until they begin to serve Ukwa.
That food is an agent of discrimination.
16" In my next life,,if I hear Nigeria in my
Mother's womb...
I will just use her Intestine to hang Myself..
nonsense
17" I heard high school is resuming on 9th.
Please, does it include the student?
18" Sometimes I just sit & wonder if it was
Lagos conductor's armpits that inspired the
invention of roll on
19" If your money can't bribe death, then stop
making noise like cover of pot that mistakenly
fell down.
20" Forget Facebook packaging
Most of us here don't have 2k in our bank
account...
# fact
GOOD MORNING
HAVE A GREAT DAY

SAUDI ARABIA VS NIGERIA
1. Saudi Arabia pumps 12 million barrels of
crude oil per day.
Nigeria pumps 1.8 to 2 million barrels of crude
oil per day.
2. Saudi Arabia have 35 million people.
Nigeria have 208 million people.
3. Saudi Arabia has 15% tax to GDP
Nigeria has 7.5% to GDP
4. Saudi Arabia has $750 billion in it's foreign
reserves.
Nigeria has $36 billion in her foreign reserves
5. Saudi Arabia has 10 functional refineries
and another 4 under construction.
Nigeria has 3 non-functional refineries and
another 12 either completed or under
construction.
6. Saudi Arabia refines 3,300,000 barrels per
day. That's equivalent to 533 million litres
daily.
Nigeria refines zero barrel per day.
7. Minimum wage in Saudi Arabia is N304,000
per month.
Minimum wage in Nigeria is N30,000 per
month.
8. Saudi Arabia sells a litre of fuel at N178
Nigeria sells a litre of fuel at N160.

It is well

[color=#000000][/color][center][/center]I laughed in Chinese [b]I laughed in Chinese [/b]I laughed in Chinese

How true is this?

Many people are fasting and praying to God so that they will be in that school. If you want to do business do the ones that didn't require your presence.

kmcutez:
You’re kidding, right? If true, this country is finished. Jesus wept.

Jesus wept lon lon

i believe that Nigeria is coming to this point where power interruption for five hours will surface on newspapers

my mind is tell me that super eagles are coming home

something must be done fast

This issue of rape have becoming rampant this days but the most painful thing is that only female victims are been noticed while male victims are to live in silence.

mykeljosef:
give me more time


if x = benefits of being a nigerian

the X ≤ nothing

HABA

I wish this happens in Nairaland