"In the abundance of water, the fool is thirsty"- Rat race

"So they build the world in great confusion, to put on us the devil's illusion...No matter what they say, we got something they can never take away and it's the FIRE!"

"Arm in arm with arms, we'll overcome a likkle trouble"

The poster came here under anonymity - Her "friend" who alerted her boyfriend to this should have respected her wish, that was indeed a very cold thing to do.

Sia and her boo - y'all need to think with a very clear head on how you wish to proceed from here on out.

We have no knowledge of how strong our faith is until it has been tested. This may very well be it for you guys, depending on how you push on.

The poster's boyfriend from accounts appears to be a decent human being, and he is truly hurt. I hope you will the internet for all its worth allows some people under the cover of anonymity to show themselves for who they really.

Yes, Sia should have brought all her concerns to you first and foremost, but loving someone and being in a relationship with them requires a vulnerability that we as imperfect humans are still learning, allow her this moment when she had concerns and fears and sought advice online - she did so anonymously, and from a neutral perspective without trying to embarrass you.

As for the "biblethumpers" well, it is an imperfect world, and as believers and unbelievers, we've all got so much to learn. Personal views (depending on our backgrounds, insecurities and maturity level) more often than not precede the love of Christ that we are called to share.

I hope you two will privately have the opportunity to resolve your issues, whether that comes down to moving forward together or separately. Good luck to you both

Ok, I must issue a disclaimer - I am not too keen on nollywood/whatever other wood there is out there. (Yes Hollywood too sucks sometimes).

Anywhoozy, never heard of him, but the dude is fine, he do act like he knows it and something abt that fine line between confidence/corkiness.

Oh I'm not hating o, (but usually when someone says that they are), what is up with the soul patch and uber shaped beard? Kilode now, that's just too pretty.

He is fine though - gotta end on a peaceful note

Valentine's Day - I also made my new bf sit thru it I kept apologizing too bad, but we were in Naija and no light, no AC so we just had to chill at the theaters where there was constant power supply.

Why did I get married too Very very bad

Lazer treatment or you could go for the more efficient yet more expensive option of electrolysis.

If you are outside of Nigeria, these places will run your credit and offer to set your payments up in monthly installments.

STOP shaving or tweezing, if you absolutely most, wax it.

skfa1:

That reminds me of this "EFCC is under yahoo" RITA

This is da ONE!!! Rita is ma homegirl

I'd lump the 9-12 yr olds in the same range. I was really into the Enid Blyton series.

For six year olds, my mom was great at assigning our reading- so mostly nature stuff, animals, dinosaurs etc, and geography - learning about cultures : aborigines etc

As a young teenager - I got really into the fantasy - goosebumps which have currently been replaced by the Harry Potter franchise.

I'd try to monitor their reading though- I find the whole fantasy thing a little intense, these days . I read only one of the HP books and I was blown away by how dark and mystical it all became as I progressed and this was when I was a bit older than the general demographic.

Good Will Hunting

CheeMoney:

Thanks all for your great understanding of my worries/pain. @gentlegg refused to understand the main crux of the post but instead wasted his precious time steaming over the wedding budget. What an irony?

Anyway, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. When she starts to work, I'd see how she wants to spend her money. I love her but as some points during this preparations I've wished I could retrace my steps but I'm too far gone to go back.

CheeMoney

Like so many people on here I sincerely sympathize with you? How did you get this far in a "serious" relationship. Was there any premarital counseling involved (ok, my oyinbo too plenty).

On the real though, you guys are in Nigeria together, been in a relationship for approx. one year , so what is this about not discussing money and family matters beforehand?

This is thin ice o. Don't be cajoled and blackmailed, there is still time. It appears that there needs to be more transparency in this relationship - you must work out your issues before you proceed further otherwise it will just be fallow ground for more to come. Postpone the wedding if you must, iron out as much as you can.

You seem like a fairly level headed guy, a spouse is someone who upholds and supports you. That is what you should expect in any relationship that has progressed this far.

The way I understand it which is not to say they way it always is; loving someone, means you have THEIR goodwill at heart
Softly softly o

After many conversations with friends and family about returning to Nigeria after graduating from school. I also started weighing the costs of going through with grad school outside of Nigeria where I currently am (tremendously expensive) and a long term repayment plan for the loans vs. just going home working for a bit and going to grad school at one of the institutions there (those that come to mind presently are Lagos and Ibadan) and having no debt.

The first seems logical because I finished undergrad here, but I've always planned to return home. The debt incurred by going through with grad school will however delay that for a significant amount of time (I'm projecting 10-15 years at the least).


Which option would you choose, and what factors would you consider before making a decision say in the next year or two?

Hello Bernard,

Hope this finds you well. Came across your thread and was hoping to establish contact with you.

I think you are a great resource and I am hoping to bounce off ideas as far a possible career switch from the physical sciences to biomedicine. Unfortunately I don't know how the PM works on nairaland, but if you would be willing, please leave your contact info on the thread and I will get in touch.

Thank you

I think we Nigerians have a lot to learn from Ghana. Thier GDP may be a fraction of ours, but thier per Capita is much higher. This means that a person with the same qualification will likely earn more in Ghana than in Nigeria. Thier democracy is more stable and less corrupt than ours, and so is thier private sector. They have just been cursed with crude oil, but I hope they learn from our mistakes.
As an African, I am dismayed by the ill feeling between Nigerian and Ghanaians. I wish we could streamline our trade laws and partner more effectively with them.
[color=#990000]The fact that most of our trade and communications occur with non-African countries is what keeps us weak and divided. If we had more links with each other we would be stronger.
I really hope we are able to reconcile our differences.[/color]


Very well said. Free enterprise has long been advocated as the natural way to sustain any market structure.

The GDP is not an accurate measure of a country's prosperity, Ghana's population is somewhere between 15-20 million (this is probably the population of Lagos alone), so the per capita is more informative.

Whether or not this will help curb xenophobic sentiments on either side only time will tell. It would however be good to gain more insight on how well both countries are playing by the rules.

You should go on webmd.com to get background info on eczema.

Contrary to what most people believe eczema in and of itself is not fungal or bacterial in nature.

It is simply and autoimmune disease caused by the patient's hypersensitivity reaction to whatever allergens in their environment resulting in the dermatitis.

However, what you may be calling eczema could also be any of the other fungal/bacterial infections such as tenia vesicolor etc for which the appropriate medicines could be used.

First things first, please advice this friend to get it properly diagnosed by a medical doctor: dermatologist if at all this is possible.

Agbara nla - The Ultimate Power. I remembered being terrified of this movie yet glued to the screen all the same.

Bournvita WHAAAT?

Milo all the way, you can even get it as far out as Oz AND it is the food drink of future champions, nuff said.

Gosh what were the names of those math shows that came on at 5ish?

Or maybe they were Math and Science, with some talking robot.

All I have stuck in my head is this song

Rubber, rubber, rubber,
rubber is fantastic

Rubber, rubber, rubber
rubber is elastic

Yeah, Speakout, Tales by moonlight and Fraggle rock

City of God - definitely more believable

Slumdog was just alright for me

First of all, congratulations on having a devoted partner

I have just experienced a similar situation. I had to depend on my siblings for help and the emotions associated with that were almost unfathomable.

It is very difficult to stay encouraged, because nobody else really understands just what you are going through. I was immensely thankful for the support of my family (no matter that we are Africans), being in the western world, its everyone for themselves and they were under no obligation to provide a place for me to stay, but they did.

With your wife, if you have a relationship of ease and it comes across like you do, find some time to pour your heart out- expressing your gratitude, fears and hopes. Easier said than done, but maybe you can just suggest going out to talk with the focus of that being-each person sharing what their challenges with the situation has been. Please share with sensitivity, try hard not to keep tabs on who has had it more difficult.

I will simply encourage you to continue expressing your thanks directly with your words or indirectly with your actions (both would be better together though).

I personally found it extremely hard not to be self-sufficient after having been independent for so long. This was the principal reason for my emotional lows, which only isolated me all the more. Whenever you feel this wave of negativity coming on, try to do something active until it passes - hit the gym or something

Finally, you do know and should continue to believe that you will get a job eventually. Please stay encouraged, your opportunity will come, and I dare say sooner than you know (my job came when I least expected it ).

You are doing all the right things by staying productive and improving your skills set, I think your best days are definitely ahead. Good Luck with everything

Well when you say leave what do you mean?


The end of the marriage or simply until you get settled in Naija and send for her?


Now, the age old - use what you have to get what you want.

If you have friends, family, etc NETWORK!!! Can't stress this enough, use your connections to get informed about possibilities and follow up on any leads

Find out what the requirements are for a non-Nigerian to enter into the Naija work force.

If you can afford it, maybe she can come with you to check things out, that way she's better informed and can make up her mind to move or remain in Scotland

Good luck with everything