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 Literature / Re: Observation Of An Everyday Guy by Anjinsan: 6:40pm On Apr 19, 2023 |
An orange seller. In a popular market in Port-Harcourt. Pretty young lady, between 23 to 25 years. She carries herself with pride. Even in her humble trade. Well mannered too. She can greet for Africa. Recently, business took me to that market. I saw her with a POS machine. In answer to my enquires, my client replied: "During the start of the cash crunch, she started the business. "When other POS operators where buying cash at 25/30%, from traders. She was getting hers with little or no fees. "She is fluent with hausa. Most importantly before then she built good relationships with most. "So the hausa traders especially, were willingly to help her. "She really made it big. She even employed one of her brothers during that first month. "Some said she gave him =N= 100,000. Others said it was even up to =N=300,000. Just for a duration of three or four weeks service. At that moment, she walked past my client's business. "Good evening sirs," She greeted with a pleasant smile. #observationofaneverydayguy# |
| Career / Re: Emotional Intelligence Moments By A HR Professional by Anjinsan: 6:32pm On Apr 19, 2023 |
It's another Beautiful week! GREAT LISTENER. A friend of mine, back in Lagos is a great listener I know in person. When he gives you audience, you know someone is listening. His excellent listening ability, have won him many good things. Including a wife of his dreams. Here are some things anyone can learn from him, when it comes to the art of listening. 1. Make out time to Listen: When you bring issues to him, and he perceives it is going to be a long one, he politely reschedules. Listening is an art, so you have to make out time to listen. A colleague comes to you with an issue, and you are under a tight deadline. Politely reschedule. If you don’t, you will listen under pressure. And when you listen under pressure, it shows. You will not effectively practice the next tips exhibited by my friend, the great listener. 2. Tune in: It was said of the great psychologist Sigmund Freud: “When he listens to you, it seems someone is peering into your soul.” (Paraphrased). I never had Mr. Freud, listen to me. Yet I get that feeling when my friend listens to me. It seems as if, through his empathic piercing eyes, he already knows what I’m going to say, even before I say it. He accomplishes this through: a) Eye contact: Maintain good eye contact when listening. Without words it tells the speaker,” I’m here for you. Also, it helps you to see other things, which aren’t conveyed in words - non verbal communication. b) Signs: While listening, exhibit signs to tell the speaker that you are listening. It can be with nods, throat sounds such as, mhmmm or words such as okay, fine, I’m with you, continue. c) Questions: Timing is key. If it comes too early, you will come across as a detective, and your listening ability will loose its effectiveness. d) Paraphrase: What you have been told, the issue at hand, briefly summarize it in your own words with at most five sentences. Listening can increase subordinates and customers loyalty. Thereby increasing employee and customer engagement, which leads to increased productivity. Listening as a technique can improve your social awareness and relationship management skills. These are two quadrants in emotional intelligence. #eimomentsbyahrprofessional# 2 Likes |
| Career / Re: Emotional Intelligence Moments By A HR Professional by Anjinsan: 6:31pm On Apr 19, 2023 |
INFLUENCE BY LISTENING. During a building project, a carpenter said this in pidgin english to the site engineer: Before I got married, I changed girl friends quickly. One day, an elderly man told me: “Just under four years, you have had four girlfriends. Check yourself. He was sending a message to the Engineer. Just within two months of been on site, five different carpenters had come and gone. At least there was a concrete reason for one to go. But the majority was due to the Engineer’s failure to exercise influence. He wasn’t good at relationship management. Academically he was sound, with an Msc. in civil engineering. Technically, he was okay. He is experienced. His listening ability was below average. At first I taught it was just between him and the artisans. As time progressed, I realized it was his achilles heel. Some events made me draw this conclusion. One of them was a phone call after the end of their contract. For twenty minutes he spoke. At a point I wanted to clarify something, he just went on and on. At a point I started speaking, hoping he will pause. It didn’t work. He just kept talking, till his airtime got finished. He called back and just continued from where he stopped. You see, empathy, especially the art of listening is a stepping stone to influence. Poor listeners, aren’t skilled at winning people over. For this Engineer to be good at influence, first he has to improve his listening ability. Easier said than done. I agree. In my next post, I will share some listening tips I observed from a friend years ago. #eimomentsbyahrprofessional# 1 Like 1 Share |
| Career / Re: Emotional Intelligence Moments By A HR Professional by Anjinsan: 5:59pm On Apr 17, 2023 |
Stress on Stress While preparing for work, Mike was worried about an upcoming downsizing. On his way, a motorist insulted him, though he did not retaliate, underneath he boiled in anger. During the weekly meeting, a colleague made a negative comment about the quality of his report. He replied aggressively. Feelings of anger have been building from home; the colleague’s comment was an excuse for an outlet—the wrong outlet. ============================ When stress mount on stress, they are not just adding up, like 3+3 = 6. Rather it’s: 3x3 = 9. Stress on stress isn’t just an addition, it’s a multiplication. On a very hectic day, from home to work to home, it seems each moment will be the breaking point. Yet somehow at the end of the day, you are back at home not in the hospital. Actually, there are bruises. The size of the bruises is dependent on how well you managed yourself during the day. Self-control is an EI competence under the 2nd Quadrant of Emotional Intelligence - Self-management. Do have a Productive week. |
| Literature / Re: Observation Of An Everyday Guy by Anjinsan: 8:57pm On Apr 15, 2023 |
Hakimi. Hakimi's Wife. Their divorce. Hakimi's Mum. Hakimi's supposed assets. Hakimi is trending on social media. This popularity even suppased that of the world cup. The battle of the genders is raging on and offline. Among couples who are in opposite camps, there will be tensions. The level of tension, will be in accord with the energy invested by each spouse in this trending issue. After consuming contents on social media. This may colour the thoughts, words, acts of a spouse towards the other. This trending issue will pass o. If you have time and energy to spare for this, at least remember that each marriage is unique. So be objective. #Observation of an Everyday Guy. |
| Family / Observation Of An Everyday Guy: Hakimi by Anjinsan: 8:55pm On Apr 15, 2023 |
Hakimi. Hakimi's Wife. Their divorce. Hakimi's Mum. Hakimi's supposed assets. Hakimi is trending on social media. This popularity even suppased that of the world cup. The battle of the genders is raging on and offline. Among couples who are in opposite camps, there will be tensions. The level of tension, will be in accord with the energy invested by each spouse in this trending issue. After consuming contents on social media. This may colour the thoughts, words, acts of a spouse towards the other. This trending issue will pass o. If you have time and energy to spare for this, at least remember that each marriage is unique. So be objective. #Observation of an Everyday Guy. N.B. On the literature platform, at least weekly Observation of an Everyday Guy is published. It cuts across real life experiences especially from Business, Relationship, Health, etc. 1 Like |
| Literature / Re: Observation Of An Everyday Guy by Anjinsan: 9:34am On Apr 13, 2023 |
This young fine boy. And a sweet sixteen fine girl. Teenage romance intoxicates. Girls habitually flocked round him, this fine boy. When she comes around, and meets them. They start leaving one after the other. These girls understood she was the one. The special one. She will accuse him of flirting with them. He will put up a weak defence. Then she will repeat her famous lines: "Let them don't deceive you o. I am the one that will take care of you, during your old age." He smiles. She smiles. Issue settled. As they stood besides each other. You can't help but admire their youth. His smooth fair skin, perfectly complementing her shining dark skin. Beautiful specimen. One day, two well built young men, stormed the fine boy's outlet. They accused him of defiling their sister. If not for neighbours intervention, first they would have beaten him. "Then who did it to our sister?" The scene reminded me about the biblical scene of Jacob's daughter and sons. Earlier, the news had gone round. The defiler had boosted how he was the one who launched her. Even mocking the fine boy for not doing so earlier. They nearly came to blows, if not for people's intervention. So those around told her brothers, who the launcher was. The fine boy said to her brothers, "I love your sister. Yes I am a player, but your sister was special. I was keeping it till -." The brothers did not wait to hear further. They zoomed off to confront the defiler. So he stopped midway, head bowed. The police picked the defiler and charged him with rape. He said it wasn't. That it was mutual. That she went out with him, and one thing led to another. The girl said he drugged her. "Where? In your Father's house?" "No at a guest house." "Did he kidnap you to the guest house?" "No." Case solved. But because she was just sixteen. Sweet sixteen, the defiler was charged with defiling an under age. Good money changed hands. And he regained his freedom, within days. Her physical pain continued into weeks. For she was bruised. Bloodied also. That was how her brothers knew. When she walked in wobbling with blood stained dress. Her physical pain was too much. More painful was her shame. Her shame of failing the fine boy. Her shame of failing her family. Her shame of losing her virginity, just like that. After three months, she came around that area for the first time. Her face was bowed. She hurriedly left after she was through. At least she has a sensitive conscience. The fine boy bounced back. How soon can he trust another female? A seal he chose not to open. She made it easy for someone else to break. Observation of an Every day Guy. |
| Religion / Re: This Thread Will Shake The Foundations Of Your Beliefs(Pictures Included)) by Anjinsan: 8:59pm On Apr 10, 2023 |
Ourtruth247: Your recommendations are in line with the moral tenets of the new testament. If dead ones are just reincarnating, how come the population is increasing? The increase where is it coming from? On the fork to take, don't know what to make of it. The higher spiritual consciousness (being led by the spirit) will guide one, if there is any such fork. Thanks for the time and energy invested in this thread. 1 Like |
| Career / Emotional Intelligence Moments By A HR Professional by Anjinsan: 2:28pm On Apr 10, 2023 |
It's another Beautiful week! Another Beautiful week for you to add value. This week's EI Moments by a HR Professional. DETECT INFLUENCERS The MD concluded with these words, “Ayo, I have gone through their proposals, Their rates are similar." Ayo replied, “The new Naicom rate policy gave a tight range for rates, which all insurance companies must abide with.” “Okay. The three companies are okay, which do you suggest we go with?" Ayo knew it will come to that. And he had thought it through. Among the three insurance sales agents, it was Victoria who had gone the extra mile. During his wedding, she attended with her line manager. Presenting a gift from the company. When the twins were born, she visited, with gifts. During his marriage anniversary, she was among the first who sent a text. Not just to him, but also to the wife, wishing them a happy marriage anniverasay. Promptly, he replied, “Sir, let’s go with Premium Insurance.” The MD approved. ============================ It takes an organizational savvy person to spot decision influencers in an organization. Sometimes it may be a secretary, a junior officer, an assistant manager, etc. Just focusing on the organizational chart can be misleading. Often there are informal channels of influence in an organization. Organizational Awareness an EI competence under the Social Awareness Quadrant, is needed to detect influencers in an organization. Victoria acted on this competence. Her efforts paid off. EI Moments by a Human Resource Professional Do have a Productive Week! |
| Literature / Re: Observation Of An Everyday Guy by Anjinsan: 9:01pm On Apr 07, 2023 |
"You aren't an engineer, we can't use these resins. It's already caked. Get procurement to make fresh orders." The operations manager said. The Consultant replied, "Something can be done. By the way these are special resins, getting new ones in the country will be difficult, and very expensive." The operations manager continued, "So be it. If not we are grounded on this project. How about our suppliers in Egypt? He replied, "Not an option. The freight charges will outweigh the costs of the resins itself. I still believe there is a way round these caked resins. Exasperated, the operations manager added, "Well. You aren't an engineer, there isn't a way." With that the operations manager stormed out of his presence. Two days later, he delivered some buckets of resins to the operations manager. "Trust these are okay? He asked the operations manager. "Yeah, yeah, there are. So fast. Where did you procure them from? "Same buckets you said was irredeemable." He answered "Really, how come?" "I may not be an engineer, but I know how to solve problems. Thank God for the internet." The operations manager looked at him eagerly to reveal what he did? "Well, I exposed the caked resins to the sun." Observation of an Everyday Guy. |
| Literature / Observation Of An Everyday Guy by Anjinsan: 3:53pm On Apr 07, 2023 |
He called after 25 years. My bosom childhood friend. Some one close to me, recognized him, and he collected my number. Six months after the call, we met in person. There was a lot of catching up to do. He has done so well in his career. Financially, he is a big boy. He was close to those in the state's corridor of power. He is married to a beautiful, intelligent lady. The marriage has produced lovely children - boys and girls. We continued catching up on each other's life, even as he drove. "So UC, tell me I learnt the women in Port-Harcourt are hot. How many do you have?" He asked. "I looked at him, as he parked in front of a fruit garden. Paraphrasing, what I first heard in my first year of marriage from a friend. I replied: "The time, energy, and resources maintaining one woman - my wife - is enough for me. Add another woman? That means I no like myself now." That said, I stepped out and got some fruits. Back to the car, I noticed my guy had his head upwards with his hand on his brow. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Bro. Women wahala is choking me," he replied. I gave some suggestions, on how to break free. He listened, got himself together, as we continued to our destination. Ten minutes later, he said, "UC, check out that Chic, men....." #observationofaneverydayguy |
| Career / Re: The Diary of a Cheap labourer (Daily Bread) by Anjinsan: 9:40pm On Dec 19, 2022 |
Your thread took about seven hours of my life during the weekend. I began from page 1 to page 41. Spanned across 14 months. It read like a thriller. I was engaged because I relate with you on two areas: 1) Your deep soul. 2) Your writing style. I felt your highs. I felt your lows. I felt your indifferences. After one of your entry as found in page 40, Budaatum said: "Stop beating yourself up! You've confessed. Now change! One of your earlier entries said: writing is therapeutic. You are still healing from the event(s) that triggered the shift from where you were to where you are or from what you had to what you have. When you have healed significantly, first, the change will be manifest in your diary (in as much as your writing is still authentic). As you continue to improve your material lot, continue to heal. Use techniques such as writing. Till you can see a good shrink, use other spiritual and psychological exercises to bring more peace to your soul. Doing this, the highs in your writing will keep getting higher than the lows. With Love. NB: This is my first post on this platform. Joined recently. 2 Likes |
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