₦airaland Forum

sexkillz:
@ Atreides, Seriously what are you doing in the romance section?

I am a romantic somebody naa

I do enjoy making-out on the Eiffel tower, skiing in Aspen, eating freshly grown Strawberries and whipped cream(then eating Jollof afterwards because i don't see what 2 or 3 strawberries will do in my stomach), drinking Pinot Noir on a dark night and having long,intense conversations with mysterious,handsome strangers(who might be ritualists),and writing poetry, breath-taking odes to a guy's eyelashes etc etc

Is that not romantic enough??

But seriously,though,i don't think the average Nigerian girl is very romantic.

@Zahnda,she is supposed to eat it and pick her teeth with the stem,apparently.

@Reality,plastic,real,don't matter.
Was jus making a point with reference to stuff that happened when i was younger,which is;-i REALLY don't like flowers.
Come to think of it,i don't like gazing at the stars(has petrol finished?),taking moon-lit walks,having candle-light dinners(like how am i supposed to see anything?) etc etc.

He did NOTHING wrong,IMO.

If she was comfortable sending him such a private picture,then she should be comfortable with him publicizing said picture even further.

He's only helping her acheive her long-held dream of becoming Naija's first porn star.

Ice-Cream!

Abeg,wetin i wan use flawa do?
I be goat?

He'd better bring something better than one useless #300 plastic flower(Gawd nothing pisses me off more than plastic flowers! And boys keep bringing it to me with one useless teddy bear or the other!
Like wtf,do i look like i'm 5 years old? Why would i still be playing with dolly-babies at this stage? Msscccheewww!)

I don't like taking drugs. .
I'm kinda paranoid about toxic build-ups in my system.

I'd rather sleep off a headache than take aspirin, i'd rather chew garlic for a sore throat that take dequadin and i'd rather drink blended aloe vera juice for a tummy upset than take any drugs.

Nope,i dont think prostitution is ever justified.

I LOVE The Boondocks!

[quote author=p_kasso link=topic=329992.msg8544840#msg8544840 date=1308426978]I love country music ![/quote]Same!

My exams are starting on Saturday

tehehehe. .

Lost and found thread
Careless owner,

Why did the girl need to polish her skin?
Is it a shoe?

And 150 THOUSAND for HAIR?

CHEEE-SUS in heaven!
Is it gold?
How will i count 150 THOOOOU-SAND naira for HAIR?
Smh. . Some women are funny sha.
Even if i was working in Shell and earning 1 milla +,i would NEVER use my own money to buy it.
If someone dashed me,i would sell it.

P.s-I predict that very soon they will start robbing Brazilian hair from girls with guns. Imagine if a robber gathered like 5 in one night. The guy don hammer be that!

maclatunji:
I dey, I am in the "rat-race" at the moment. Plus some of the topics here are depressing and they threaten to make person dumb so I run away just to escape from them from time to time.

Pele sha.

And yeah,some of the topics here threaten to induce dumbness

1one:
I think I'll be speaking for a fairly larger percentage of guys If I said coming back from work by 5pm is like trying to hit a bulls-eye with spaghetti, it's not possible! except of course you're in yankee.
I get home from work by 10pm and I draaag my self to the bathroom,notice the tripple a's,after which i literally melt into the bed,You now expect me to wake up around 2am,wey sleep never rich gear,to go and have my bath when no be say I see atreides dey pursue me for sleep.

I believe ladies would always be ladies in some lady kind of way and guys would be guys in some guy kind of way, I'm not saying being a guy is a natural excuse to be dirty,nah!, all i'm saying is that don't expect us to go all out "yipee mummy oyoyo" behaviour towards some of "peculiar" hygene requirements.
Some time back some duddess was complaining that her bloke doesn't wear white draws, like HELLO?, white draws. Or imagine a girl demanding that her boyfriend has 25 sets of boxers just because she has 52 sets of pants and counting.
Give us breathing space abeg.

@bolded,DEATH!!!!


Ok if you get home by 10,you could still bathe before sleep? That's why i modified it from 3 times to two times.

I seriously don't think 2 times is too much.
Yes,you'd be tired from the days work,but you're taking a ten minute bath,not uprooting cassava from a farm.

Bathing isn't really that stressful. And when you do bathe,you'll feel(and sleep) better,IMO.

190 that is what i said

She should stay with him and come next year to give us the gist of how she now takes care of the man's 7 children

Erm sorry my own is not 25 naira
It is 25 pounds

Plus 2500 tubers of yam, 1500 bottles of palm oil,
750 cubes of maggi
25 goats
17.5 cows
1750 george wrappers for all the women in my family
A plot of land in Etete for my father
And a benz for my oldest uncle

Oya calculate it

@1one,ok lemme say at least 2 to 3 times.
(see how understanding i am)?

But really,you should bathe as many times as needed to keep yourself clean and odorless.

If twice a day works(maybe in harmattan/rainy season),then do it.
If you need to bathe five times a day(maybe in dry season) then do it.

And yes,i have bathed twice today,and i'll definitely bath before i sleep. Even if i doze off i will wake up in the middle of the night to go and bathe otherwise i can't sleep.
But i can get away with bathing twice(depending on the weather and on whether i go out or not),and i'm a girl.
Don't guys sweat more than girls do?(just asking cos i always thought they do)

But really,is 3 times too much?
If a guy bathes before he goes to work, bathes immediately he comes back around 5pm to get rid of all the sweat and ish that accumulated on him throughout the day,
and then bathes around 11 pm just before he goes to bed,is that too much to ask for?

Even if he doesn't wanna use deodorants/anti-perspirants/whatever,i don't see how a normal person(one without all those dirty brown Amazon-like jungles in their armpits) will develop all those BO that spoil soup if he/she bathes regularly and wears clean clothes/underwear after each bath.


@190,as i'm lookin at you,if they sell you,sell your Benz,sell all your clothes/shoes/furniture etc etc,it won't be enough to pay my bride price.

@190,how he wan take spoil your market?
You no fit buy my market naa


#serious face# Ayam working on it

Why does he have BO?
Is it because he doesn't bath?

Why would a full grown man think bathing is a pain in the arse?

So at his mature age OP'll have to be forcing him to bathe?

The only man(boy) i can force to bath is my baby(pre-pubescent) brother,but that's understandable.
I mean,everyone knows young boys are animals.

I see no reason why a full grown man will not know he's supposed to bathe at least 3 times a day.

If his BO is not because he doesn't bathe regularly,then doeshe have body hair?
Is he the kinda person who has a forest under his armpit?
Those armpit jungles that if you look hard enough you'll see Tarzan swinging from vine to vine in there?

If he has armpit hair,then CHOP IT OFF!

Is he the type of person who wears one shirt for 5 days?
BUY HIM ARIEL.
You could also make a roster of which clothes he should wear on which days.

And why is it that people who have BO don't/can't smell themselves??

Awon all of you,K'aabo.

Has anyone seen stevetboy recently?

@Pro01,so you're saying virginity isn't the end-all and be-all to chastity;but rather that chastity/virtuousness depends on the girl in question.
I totally agree with that.
I have friends who are technically virgins but who've made out (and done a whole lot more with them without technically getting their cherries popped)with three or four guys.
On the other hand,i have friends who've,at the risk of sounding juvenile,done it with one guy and have been with that guy since we were all in high school,for like 3 years.
Can i truly call my friends in the first group(ok it's not like they're that many oh-they're only two girls. . Lol) moral?
They're technically virgins,but are they virtuous?
Not bloody likely.

On the other hand,can i call the friend in the second category immoral? Yeah she's done it before,but she's been with the one guy for three years(3 years is like a decade in teenage time).
Can i call her immoral?


There's no hard and fast rule to it.

Now me being the way i am is as a reslt of two things; my faith,and a personal decision i've made right now.
I've decided i'm not ready for sex because i simply don't wanna do it yet and i can't handle the ish that comes with it.
I can't handle the possbilities of stds,and God forbid,babies.
At this stage in my life i'm verry selfish. The first thing i think about is me,my grades,my future etc etc. I'm the first thing on my mind. Am i emotionally ready to deal with putting a baby first,given how selfish i currently am?
No.
I'm not emotionally and mentally ready for that level of intimacy just yet.

Next reason,My faith. I was raised/m being raised a christian. Now recently i've been having some issues with organized religion so i'm not as religious,but i am as spiritual(if that makes any sense).
I'm the way i am because i believe it's the right way to be before the God i serve.

Because of my religious beliefs,i tend to equate virginity with virtousness,but i'm open-minded. I realize that not everybody has the same beliefs as i do and so not everyone will make the same decisions i do which is why i agreed with you right off the bat,proO1.

Even then,as much as i believe that virginity and virtuousness are not mutually exclusive,i still have to ask,
doesn't abstinence teach you self-control?
And if you learn to control yourself wouldn't it be easier to remain moral?
Virginity might not be the end-all and be-all to virtousness,but i think it certainly helps.
Besides,you can't miss what you've never had.


I just had another thought on this topic,on why things were different back then.
I think it also has to do with how the society views dating.

On the average,when i was in sec. school,every girl(with the few exceptions) had dated at least 3 guys throughout sec school,and every guy had dated twice that number.

Dating is now seen as harmless fun,and everybody is dating everybody else.
Seriously,a lot of you old folks have NO IDEA how common dating is among teenagers in secondary schools.
The way we(minus me oh)think,is that you date one person,if you get tired of him or her,date another person,etc.

I have a guy friend(he's like my best friend but he's really an Adamu) who once dated a girl for only 3 WEEKS,and he didn't see anything wrong with it. Why would he,when the people he idolizes(celebs,footballers),people you(the media/older members of society) expose us to do the same thing?

Ask yourself,what does that teach us teenagers(who'll make up the coming generation) about life?

What does it teach us about how we should treat people?

Doesn't it teach us to be more selfish(and trust me,the average teenager is VERY selfish. We think the world revolves around us) than we already are?

Doesn't it teach us that other people are meant for our amusement,and that when we get bored we can just throw them away like a toy we don't want to play with anymore?

What does it teach us about relationships?

Doesn't it teach us to view relationships as transitory?

In a sense,doesn't that prepare us for divorce,and not marriage?

I think it's because, well it's partly because women today are too feminist. Yup,i said it. *puts on Kevlar in anticipation of the shots to come*

A lot of women spend too much time worrying their heads about too many random things and fighting for 'rights'.
P.s-I do believe that women(and everyone,really),have rights that should not be trampled on but some women take it too far,IMO.
I do believe that all humans are fundamentally equal,but men are men and women are women. It doesn't make sense to change one into the other.

I also think it's got something to do with the change in how women see submission.
Some women today see submission as slavery/stupidity,and they fight to be the same as men.
What they don't get is that submission is NOT slavery. Everyone has their roles. And yeah,you could say why is it the woman's role to be the home-maker? Well why is it the man's role to be the bill-payer?
As much as the woman has her role and established responsibilities,the man has his too.
She cooks,he buys the food. She takes care of the home,he pays the bills. She takes care of the kids(who are her kids too),and he does too.

My parents have been married for 20 years,and in my entire life i have NEVER seen my father doing the dishes. NEVER. I have NEVER seen him cook anything successfully(except you count beans soup-y'know,all those beans where there's one seed of beans swimming in a big spoon full of water-he's that horrible at cooking).
He's much better at balancing accounts than he is at cooking,so he leaves the cooking to my mom. She's much better at cooking than she is at writing applications to the Corporate Affairs Commission,so she leaves that to him.

They both know their strengths and weakness.
She knows her role and does it,he knows his role and does it,we(the kids) know our role and do it,and everyone's happy.

Not only have they been for the past 20 years,they have successfully raised/are raising 4 children,and i've never had to worry about whether my parents were breaking up because i've always known that it cant' happen.

Infact the roles aren't as defined anymore.
The women help out with the bills.
Nowadays guys are more willing to help out. I have guy friends who actually like cooking.
Guys of this century are more willing to help out than men of those days,IMO.

My point is,everyone has their roles,and if everyone performed their roles(and helped out some,which they're doing),things would have a better chance of working.
Nothing works in anarchy. Nothing.


And then aside from the feminism and the way some of us view submission,we also have to factor in the way the society's values have relaxed.
It's weird to be a virgin. Like seriously,people look at you like you have two heads when you say you don't date/you're not ready to date until some time in the future,not to talk of how they look at you when they find out you haven't done it yet. Lucky for me,i don't have a problem with that kinda pressure,but a lotta people do.
And they do all sorts of things because they want to fit into that mold of what's viewed as normal,forgetting that what the society views as normal might not be right.
And guys have a LOT of blame in this regard. The people saying oh virginity is good blah blah blah are the same ones who'll start pressuring other girls to get intimate with them and then later come and complain that girls are loose.

How will a girl be loose if y'all don't sleep with her?
Now i'm not saying virginity=long-lasting marriage. But you've gotta ask yourself,how come marriages lasted longer when women(& men) were virgins than they do now? I mean it's gotta have something to do with it,right?

maclatunji:
Loving the Sarcasm!

Hi Tunji! Haven't seen you on here in a bit.
How far?

Please stay with him.

You can come back to Nl to give us the gist when the girl gives birth to twin boys for him next year.

We will comfort you.

Here's another question for ya:
You said you've known him for a year+ and dated him for 3 months,and during that time you didn't know he was married at all,not to talk of being in a contract marriage.

Here's another question, if he could lie to you about something so fundamental for OVER A YEAR,then how on earth can you believe ANYTHING he says?

Did you have any idea/did you in any way suspect that he was married during that time period?
If you didn't,then you have to ask yourself;
If he SUCCESSFULLY (yes successfully because you had no idea) lied to you for OVER A YEAR ,how do you know he's not lieing now?

Do you honestly want to be in a relationship with someone who's SUCH A GOOD liar?
Can you really trust someone who's so good at lieing he completely deceived you for over a year?

The ball is in your court.

P.s-I'm not really familiar with all the teeny details of contract marriages and obtaining papers,but isn't a contract marriage supposed to last a year in the states?
Hasn't it been more than a year(april 10 to may 11?)
Or did he marry her after he met you?

I have a great momma. She taught me lots of things

This is tricky.

Ideally,people should marry for love alone,but who're we kidding? People get married for all sorts of reasons,and papers are one of them.
Is it morally wrong? Probably.
Does it happen? Definitely.

Does the fact that he'd take vows lightly indicate his views on the institution of marriage? I mean,the fact that he deliberately went into a contract marriage could mean he doesn't really respect the institution of marriage.
On the other hand,he could respect marriage and all that good shi.t-he'd just view the marriage as a business.
Again we veer into the murky waters of morality, but i can't make any judgements on that.


Now here's what i'm most concerned with: I'm assuming this relationship is Long distance,no?
Are you really sure he doesn't live with his wife?
Which leads to,
Are you really sure they don't have some kind of relationship?

Next-You're technically dating(well it's really having an affair,however torrid that sounds) with a married man. Are you really okay with that? With committing what technically amounts to adultery(that's if you guys have,y'know,done it)?

And then on the other hand,the reason why i(and most people,i imagine) are against affairs/infidelity is because of the loss of trust,hurt,emotional distress,etc etc that the innocent(and sometimes guilty) part feel. But then,this is different. There won't be any emotional hurt or whatever because there were never any emotions involved.
Or let's put it this way,how can he cheat on someone he was never in a relationship with? I mean,cheating implies a pre-existing relationship. No relationship,no cheating.

And lastly,how long does he have to remain married to her? Is he really going to get a divorce?


@topic,would i? I honestly don't know. I mean, March to May's only about three months. I couldn't get that emotionally invested in him in such a short period of time.
And even aside that, would i be able to deal with the ethical issues? Probably not.

But see,that's the beauty of people-we're all different.
I might not be okay with dating a guy like that,but that doesn't mean you,or anyone else won't be.
How i feel about it doesn't/shouldn't affect you in the least-you need to be honest with yourself and figure out what YOU feel about it.