₦airaland Forum

gassbee:
if u r broke can u even think of marriage

She wan buy husband at the same time throwing shakabula

Softsnare:
**My Experience Working With My Boss Was I Wrong to Quit?**

I got a job in early April. The scope of the job was for me to be the Admin Officer/Manager of the company. I am the only staff working directly with the CEO or Managing Director, as I prefer to call her. She employed me to bring her ideas into reality.

What we basically do at the company is this: we run a crypto academy, we have a 50-seater space we rent out for seminars and programs, and we also manage an NGO.

When I resumed, I submitted a blueprint outlining how I planned to help the office succeed. However, from the very first day, she never read it. She kept saying she did not have time to, and that continued through the entire first month.

From my second week, I began to notice changes in my boss's behavior specifically in the way she spoke to me. For context, I am 31 years old, married with two kids. I was previously a freelancer, working on Fiverr and Upwork, and I was earning good money until my Fiverr account was blocked and my Upwork account was suspended. I decided to step out and find something to do rather than sit at home idle.

That was when her attitude began to shift. She started speaking to me very unprofessionally. The first incident that stood out was when she asked me to retrieve something from her fridge. I could not find it, so I went back to inform her. She told me to check again. I did, and it still was not there. When I reported back to her, she said and I quote *"Israel, once I get there and find that item in the fridge, I am going to slap you."* She said this in the presence of 12 men we were having a meeting with, including two prominent pastors. I said nothing. I simply smiled and let it go.

Not long after, my wife gave birth to our second child. I informed my boss, and she attended the naming ceremony, which I genuinely appreciated. However, to this day, she has not given us any gift.

Now, the issue is this: she employed me as an Admin Officer to manage the company, not to perform secretarial duties, run personal errands, or act as a messenger. She frequently sends me to the market for things she could easily handle herself. Beyond that, I handle all the printing, typing, graphics design using Canva, and all social media posting. I essentially do everything that needs to be done in that office.

The problem is that she has no understanding of how long tasks take. She expects designs to be completed in under 15 minutes. She would give me an instruction and say, *"I don't care how you do it, just get it done."* She never gives me the opportunity to explain timelines or constraints. Anytime I tried, she would tell me to keep quiet and leave her office. She also occasionally sent me pictures of documents and expected me to print them out as clean, professional originals which is simply not possible. I sometimes had to completely redesign documents from scratch just to make them presentable.

There is also a financial issue. On top of my official duties, I have been spending my personal money — not my salary on office expenses. She would ask me to purchase things for the office or buy food when guests visited, and I would pay out of pocket with the expectation of being reimbursed. Over time, this left me financially drained.

After my child's naming ceremony, I sent her a WhatsApp message reminding her that she owed me money, and asked if I could receive part of it so I could get home. She responded that we would talk when I got to the office. The truth was, I had no data on my phone and no transport fare. I had already told her before leaving the office the previous day that I was financially down and might not be able to resume the following day. She acknowledged it and said we would discuss it later.

She never called. The next morning, around 8:30 AM, she called me and asked why I was not in the office. I reminded her that I had explained I had no transport. She then began to yell at me. She called me "very stupid" and asked why I hadn't called my father, my mother, my sisters, or even begged my wife for transport money. Every time I tried to respond, she cut me off and told me to keep quiet, saying that when she was talking, I was not to speak.

She brought up the fact that she had paid my salary the previous month 70,000 Naira. What she does not acknowledge is that I live in Maraba and the office is in Utako. My transport costs alone come to approximately 60,000 Naira per month, which means my net gain from this job is only 10,000 Naira. Despite this, she has refused to hire any of the candidates who came in for interviews, claiming she cannot pay salaries above 70,000 Naira. As a result, I have been covering multiple roles on my own.

She then claimed she had overpaid me the previous month. When I asked how, she said it was because she had bought me food and attended my child's naming ceremony. I responded calmly, telling her that buying me food was her own decision I never approached her saying I was hungry. And attending the naming ceremony was equally her choice. Neither of those things constitutes a salary overpayment.

She has also made comments about my wife's pregnancy that I found deeply inappropriate. On several occasions when I could not complete a design within 30 minutes, she would say things like, *"Israel, you are slow. Is it because your wife gave birth? Am I the one who asked your wife to give birth?"*

After enduring all of this, I finally spoke up. I told her that regardless of my position, she had no right to speak to me in the way she had been. I told her the truth firmly, but without insults. She said no one at my level had ever spoken to her that way. I told her I was speaking to her that way because I was being honest with her. She then said she was done. I responded that I was done as well and that I would not be continuing in the role.

There is one more thing worth mentioning. I had built a landing page for the company and billed her 150,000 Naira, which covered the cost of the premium package, domain registration, and all related expenses. The day after I launched it, she brought her daughter to sit beside me and had me walk her through everything every purchase, every step of the process, and all payment receipts. I cooperated fully and showed them everything.

So I am now bringing this to Niralanders for honest feedback. I will not pretend I stayed silent throughout I did speak back. But I did not insult her. I simply refused to be spoken over and stood my ground for the first time. I told her she had never once given me space to explain myself, and that every time I attempted to, she shut me down.

My questions are simple: **Was I wrong for speaking back? And was I wrong for quitting on the spot?**

I have been in your shoes before, I think it's the toxic pattern common to most Nigerian women when they become married or already have children. You don't have to rant it out, just move on

EBEk101:
Help her? I’m still trying to marry myself into peace and prosperity first.

But she already has money Na, just tell her to give you like 1 Billion Naira

[quote author=EBEk101 post=139512570]Nah now her morning break

When she was young, what was she doing ? [/quote
I think you should help her

SixSeven:
I will excuse your rudeness on a public forum but if it flew over your head, I am telling you once again that everyone has roles and purposes. Your teacher is not necessarily your mentor just as a manager is not necessarily a good manager of people but the same person could be 100% technical and good at their job but a failure at managing people. Again, don't play a role you weren't asked for because they are transitioning to something new and they need to see new faces and new experiences. Your HOD made a request. That's different from giving unsolicited help. I figure that observation and critical thinking is highly lacking here so let me stop pointing you towards the moon. Maybe it's just a function of life exposure. Enjoy your time!

You are the one missing it up, you could not calm down enough to see what I pointed to. First, the OP was just a part time teacher and I was advising him that it's possible to transition to be their mentor. Because you are misconstruing my point I am putting the details about mentor and teacher below

A teacher imparts specific knowledge, skills, and academic facts using a structured curriculum and grading system. A mentor, however, draws from personal experience to provide broader career guidance, wisdom, and holistic support designed to help you navigate your unique long-term personal or professional growth.

The question I am asking you is that , does the OP fall into the category of someone the younger one can draw personal experience from

Yes or No.

Also can he give them holistic support that will help them navigate long term personal professional growth.?

EBEk101:
Nah Wetin pain me

Later you will hear, I picked you up from the gutter and cleaned you up shit type

Baddies will always be baddies

Bluna:
A very good suggestion. 🫡 I had a similar experience in 2014 when I quit teaching. The reaction of my students was very touching and emotional. But few months later, none of them get in touch again because everybody has moved on. Creating an online group would've helped to maintain the good relationships I used to have with them, ..and avenue to keep mentoring them too

I have done lots of that and it's highly rewarding. Even though I am not teaching I am working on having a system to have 10,000 of them I will pour into between now and 2030 and for that purpose I even started an NGO

SixSeven:
Not necessarily. Life is a journey and everyone has their own bus stop. Do not give unsolicited help, it's not usually appreciated. Although I just did here - unsolicited advice but those who will pick the message will read, those who won't, it will fly over their heads (show them the moon they will be looking at your fingers instead)


https://www.tiktok.com/video/7352436421178756398

Since you lack comprehension, I am not talking about career, I am saying the guy should use his experience to give the younger ones a soft landing via mentorship. In 5 to 10 years time they should have transitioned into their career stage and there will be a great reward for him if he does that. I have some boys like that, my HOD at work told me to help him with his son when he noticed that I am good in that area, now out of that 5 boys , oldest being 21 all still in the university are into cyber security, won a Google Hackaton and have floated their company as I advised and have got their first client

I think you should create a Telegram group to mentor them on life and build a community around that

She even have the audacity to say if you are broke, not if you are figuring things out

The app will look good but behind it will be many flaws and bugs

edogu:
When people are offended by their bosses (in this case, white South Africans), and they can't beat them. What do they do? They cowardly look for someone they consider 'weak' to transfer the aggression. That's exactly what these cowards are doing.

You get am, the whites know that Nigerians Na their bosses. Do you know that there are lots of Nigerians that own companies that employ whites even in the US. I know of a guy who since 2008 owns the largest waste recycling company in US and even bought over state owned waste recycling company in his state of residence. He gives scholarship to lots of natives too.

Oyinbo don tire Nigeria Mata, the wretched Zulus and Xhosas among other black South Africans too, but we too are enablers we don't move in groups

soyemi:
Please o. I was trying to advertise on WhatsApp business and I tried paying multiple times but the payment didn’t go through on Paga. Fund reversed immediately.

What can I do please ?

.. USE GTB or UBA card for payment

IyaTola:
Decision: Send my brother to Canada or invest in business in Nigeria? Which one makes more sense?

Delay the going to Canada until the 15 my x5
Instead will research on how to x10 the money and then create an experimental system around it, will tell my brother to work with me on it in order to earn the money to travel to Canada. That is what I am presently doing with www.newbreed.com.ng and in the process of registering a company in the US for it before getting investors from the likes of baobab network, antler among others

Python25to30:
I have 2 amazon Australia gift card $5
Link in my email
I want to sell them to purchase chat gpt pus or pro anyone

What do you want to use the ChatGPT plus pro for

Kukutente23:
No one can deny Atiku always has brilliant ideas
Echoing in 2023, his manifesto was the best among the frontrunners
In 2019, he advocated for the sale of NNPC but was roundly mocked. Today, NNPC has become more like an albatross
His main problem is usually his inability to get his politics right but in a country hungry for development, that shouldn't really matter should it

when actually he is part of the creators and beneficiaries

peleson1:
How can one buy into dangote ipo

Go and register with a broking firm first, go into any of the major banks, GTB, First Bank, Stanbic IBTC and ask. You get a broker, and you tell him your interests ahead of time, so they notify you when the IPO is opened.

Kennitrust:
Good day my follow Nairalanders.

Everyday, life opens a new chapter of life to us. My own chapter had been opened and and it read... "it time to get married.

In the church I attended, there I met this girl so mature enough to be taken in as a wife. I approach her for the first time and I started asking her out. Seem she knew my intention, she started asking me about my church life, my family, my business and all that not.

To be honest with her, I did my best to answer every question in the language she could understand.

She seems not still satisfied with my account, she sent me this message at about 5am.
Said until I respond to those questions, she won't have anything to do with me again.

I'm truly confused on wether everyone that finds love 💕 really goes through this rigorous question.

And more about her life, she spent almost everyday in church after work. She said if I'm truly serious, I should also be as serious as she is in going and participating in all weekly activities in the church.

Please help, how do I answer this questions, since it the only options she said can bring us together?

Terminate the plan bro, you are getting manipulated

tunapawizzy:
Gbajabiamila has his own issues with the President, information has it that he is no longer as close to the President because of his(Gbaja) plenty sharp practices. Hakeem Muri Okunola who is the Principal Secretary to the President is now the right hand man of the President at the villa almost hijacking some responsibilities of the CoS. Gbajabiamila just sees this as one of the opportunities he can use to say to Tinubu, "my oga I am your loyal servant, I will crush anyone that goes against your wish, i am fighting your battle"
We saw almost 30 assembly members sign to impeach Obasa, are they also denying others tickets because of the impeachment?

This is not to say Desmond is not useless. Infact I am happy his godfather(Gbaja) is using him(Desmond) as pawn to appease his(Gbaja) own godfather(BAT)
As things stand today, Gbaja will throw anyone or anything under the bus to appease BAT

Funny enough, Elliot should have seen the hand writing on the wall and would have do a farewell party ahead of Gbaja throwing him under the bus. My kind of person, I am always ahead of anyone having negative plans for me, I will call town hall meeting and declare that I want to rest, the work up another plan bigger than he thinks

andy4d2ofus:
I received a credit transfer of 500k into my account from an unknown person.
What should I do next. I don't want trouble, pls advise .

go to your bank and get the full details

brain54:
As a primary school kid or what...?


Op don't overflog or make a fuss out of the issue. You already made your point by talking to her about it!

You see most of those ladies including our mama they aren't different from kids oh, their rate of processing information for most of them is weak so if you want to achieve peace and ensure she changes it requires taking subtle approach but if what you want is chaos and wahala you can as well go and slap her or beat her, I think that is what you are suggesting right?

june24:
If you're interested in learning more, you can send a DM with a link to your github. And what makes you think the bulk of the work is the product? Good products don't make a successful company, there are so many dead companies with good products, a recent example being chimoney.

I know i have an option of working with a dev shop before posting this.

That is exactly the point I made now

Funkybabee:
Sorry bro, I supposed to have give response since. I'm about to, I haven't opened it yet to know how far

Okay

june24:
Solo founder here, building a solution for the logistics space. I'm looking for a technical co-founder. Full-stack engineer, ideally you have shipped B2B SaaS or fintech, comfortable with WhatsApp API, backend, dashboards, AI agents. Someone who has built for emerging market constraints i.e low bandwidth, intermittent connectivity, payment friction. Lagos based preferred, remote will also be considered. Not contract, equity partner (40% - 50%), as i already have some things in place. I need someone that we can build together. If this is interesting, DM me and we can do a 30 min call this week.

How much in USD are you putting into the project, considering that all that are to be implemented by a top notch technical partner will be between $25k to $75k if not more. Will there be a vesting agreement, what will you be bringing to the table? What valuation are you looking at for the startup, how prepared are you in case things go south?

menaxe:
Something happened in my house this evening that’s been bothering me, and I’d like your honest advice.

My wife went out for a girls hangout. When she came back, she didn’t notice I was in the parking lot watching.

She called the gateman over, brought out her leg, and told him to remove her shoe. He took off the first canvas shoe, then the second. She didn’t notice I was there.

After he removed the shoes, she told him to take them to the cobbler for repair.

I just watched and didn’t say anything at the time. It looked to me like she was overusing the gateman, and it didn’t sit right with me.

Later, I called her aside and told her what she did was wrong but she said she didn’t know it was wrong and didn’t see the issue. I asked her what she meant by “it’s not wrong,” and she just repeated that she didn’t know.

Now I’m confused. I don’t know if I’m overreacting, overstepping, or making too much of it.

Nairalanders, please tell me honestly — is this wrong, or am I out of line here?

Thank you.

Don't tell her directly, get a video or skit that address the issue and tell her to watch it, then ask her what she learned from it. Then you can talk to her, but if you want to get the best result speak good of her in areas you know she is doing well and how you want her to add that to the list.

mctech:
This is like the case of the lady who contacted Don Jazzy on Twitter to give her money for her NGO. Person wey dey in need no dey do give away.

Not as you think, some NGOs like mine came out of passion, I am pushing my money into it. Having the laptop will help in supporting the younger ones in my community with training. Have done some levels of that on WhatsApp, about 300 reached out from Nairaland about 3 years ago for digital skills, and another 36 last year on Financial Education. The laptop will help in churning out contents that promote our course.

NationalNewsNG:
Former Vice-President Atiku Abubakar has called for the immediate release of Nasir El-Rufai ahead of the Eid-el-Kabir celebrations, describing the former Kaduna governor’s detention as unfair and politically troubling.

Atiku made the demand on Friday through a statement issued by his media aide, Phrank Shaibu.

He said keeping El-Rufai in custody during an important Islamic celebration was cruel and against democratic principles.

The former vice-president warned authorities against using state institutions to intimidate political opponents.

According to Atiku, Eid-el-Kabir is a period of mercy, forgiveness, family reunion and compassion for Muslims worldwide.

Click the link below to read the full story
https://nationalnews.ng/atiku-demands-el-rufais-release-before-eid/

If El Zazaki can spend years behind the bars enabled by El Ruffy, one good turn should deserve the other. This life Na turn by turn, Na El Ruffy Turn be this

You won enter wahala