₦airaland Forum

Araoye001:
Ib City and the people living in it are too dirty. Apart from drainages that do not exist the living standard are too low. Most of the rivers are filled with dirt, blocking the flow of water. People have built too close the rivers. The goverment does not know where the problems are talk less of solving it.

Hey Buddy, if Ibadan people are too dirty and the town is not properly planned as you claim, I will be glad to know where you are from and I promise to name at least 100 places where no normal human being can survive except stinking animals like you

Oni fe fi super glue se lip gloss now

I hate boko Haram, Do you?

when you see police collecting 20

Nice thought! BTW start it and let your fellow fools follow you

emotional ko semotional ni,

pele

This guy wey dem dey call Parlour sorry Studio no dey appreciate things sha? Na so u criticize my Joke too, u be criticizer?

Studio CFR:
Ode nie o poster

se erope e yoruba nikan lo wa ni ibi'bayi ni

Garrage!, sorry, Studio, no dey talk to elders like that, emi naa si ni seee


baba ibadan , i dont want to take issues with u cos i love ibadan, cool place.
now can u move jejely over, pls. for oke ibadan sake , cos that joke wasnt funny atall, atall.
u geeeeeeeeeeet. c me
Haha, na teasha you go be sha, you too get command tone! anyway e no work for me. Thanks for your love for Ibadan though, it's all fun bro!

ode remo:
and that is supp. 2 be a joke ehn?
iwo na ni kini/?
u think this is paso /osupa venue.
i beg move over.
next.

Agbo tie. Next turn?

Emi noo ni     

An illiterate WARRI man traveled abroad. He entered a Restaurant and wanted to order chicken but he couldn't remember what chicken is called in English. Luckily for him,he saw a man on the next table with 4 eggs on his plate, happily he calls out to the waiter and points at the eggs on the mans plate, "Abeg, arrange me their mama!

I just read it on a friend's status on FB that the Biafran General has passed on. Can any one confirm this?

LOL Nice one bro

mikuz:
Prince hezekiah!

Meaning what

A man was asked to act like a monkey in a zoo. The zoo manager put him a costume that made him look like a real monkey. When children came to watch him he was diving up and and while the children were clapping. Mwhile next to his cage was the king of animal, the LION, at a point he jumped up and found himself in lion's cage, he became frightened and was about to scream for help when the Lion moved close to him and said, o boy no shout oooo, i be human being too, no fall these people hand oooo

U must have just watched a movie called "Iro Funfun", a word of advice: imitation is limitation

I wish you a speedy recovery

naijaking1:
Nobody say democracy is easy, but I know one thing for sure, Buhari would have been 10x worse than GEJ.

Shut that your stinking mouth. on what parameter did you base ur baseless assumption? a primary school senior prefect would have performed far better than GEJ not to talk of the almighty BUHARI.

The guy is called Tokyo cos his name is Alhaji OluwaTOKI

Na! he got the name from his first job as a driver to a Japanese man fro Tokyo. His name is Alhaji Lateef Akinsola Aloyunkeu.

Teacher asked the student, what is the difference between "shakara and action". Student responds shakara, is when the police IGP says he'll deal with boko harm (without any actual plans),  While Action is when boko haram bomb police headquarters and almost blow up IGP the next day

North, SE and South/South are places where human lives have no value. While both S/S and S/E kill, kidnap, and r|*a*p*e mainly for their love for riches, Northerners kill for reasons which they, themselves know are rather unreasonable. While I opine that non-south westerners are responsible for almost half of killing/robbery in Lagos, the crime in South/West is what is reasonably inevitable in typical cities. Hence, the only save region in Nigeria where people are reasonable and moderate in everything they do is SOUTH/WEST with inclusion of Kwara (though not a S/W state)

Dr Abubabakar Olusola Saraki (Oolyeeeeeeeee)
High Chief Lamidi Adedibu (Orisa Molete himself)
Orji Uzor Kalu
Madam (Dr) Dame Patience Jonathan
Hajia Turaya Yar'adua

or is the topic not about Nigeria Demagogue dead or alive?

Ilorin all the way
Agbor, the only place in delta with some nice coll traditional joint and little chance of being kidnapped/robbed. Na city you talk oooo

I Love and Miss
Rashidi Yekini, the king of goal who has no replacement yet
Jay-Jay Okocha, the one who showed me how beauty of football can bring you smiles
Daniel Amokachi, the one who combined skills with swagger but bleeped them up with arrogance
Mutiu Adepoju, a humble and utility player
Finidi George, the only right winger I miss
Ben Iroha, the one who kicked out the dangerous Joel Tehi and Abdullah Traore of Ivory coast in 1994 1/2 final match with a free kick awarded. I love you
Wilfred Agbonivbare, the prolific shot-stopper who played crucial roles in our 1st w/cup qualification though with a gift of at least a goal to opp. in each game
Kanu Nwakwo, the only living Nigeria football legend I know

I hate
Mikel Obi, the one who fail me by deciding to let his glamorous talent slip off, the only player I hate as a chelsea fan
Alfan Ikoku, the overrated player who never made an impact

I can Kill
Yakubu Aiyegbeni, the one whom I find it hard to call a footballer

The first Nigerian footballer to start church business become a pastor "Taribo West" 

The first Nigerian City to have a University, Stadium and Television Station "I B A D A N"

The First Nigerian to annul presidential election "MAMANGIDA"

Head or tail someone's heart must be broken courtesy of your inconsistencies. Well, set out what you actually want in your wife apart from your Hausa/Yoruba dichotomy which I believe you urself know shouldnt have much relevance to your choice of woman. Act fast, boldly and reasonably as you are about to redefine someone's future. Above all, pray for God guidance as this step is capable of making or marring you, I mean you. Jonathan sorry, Good luck.

I am addicted to cleaning my ears or should I say dipping anything into my ear. But I can only remember cleaning my girl friend's about twice which I didnt find as interesting as cleaning mine. I doubt it if I can derive any pleasure cleaning someone else's ear but as I write, a carefully rolled piece of paper is having a nice time with my left ear, that's why it's taking me so long to type in this

I'm waiting for EFCC to declare him wanted then I would fish him out from anywhere he's hiding in the UK, perhaps this would be an opportunity to convince Nigerian Government I am the great detective yet to be discovered

At the end of week 37, La Liga table clearly shows that Kalu Uche's Almeria have been relegated to lower division as they are confined to the bottom of the table with just 30 points in 37 games. Despite defeating Real Madrid at Bernabeu few weeks ago, Ike Uche's Real Zaragoza need a combination of luck and hard work to avoid relegation this weekend. The club need not just a win over Levante on Saturday but should also hope that both Depotivo and Getafe lose their matches  the reverse of which will see the two Nigerian brothers playing in second division next season. Almeria will lock horn with fellow out-of-favour but angry Real Madrid on Saturday. However, the only lifeline for the two brothers hangs on the eagerly awaited rapture billed to occur on Saturday, at least if the world comes to an end, who will ever watch La Liga again not to talk of seeing Messi

My posts are not so many on this forum, but I'm proud to have some of my posts featured on the front page, very hot stories indeed! Have you ever been featured? I guess no

Stolen car returned after 36 years

A phone call from the police to say they've recovered your stolen car is usually good news - but imagine if that call comes 36 years after you reported it missing.

That's exactly what happened to Janice Maffucci from New Jersey, USA. Her 1969 Chevrolet Camaro muscle car was stolen in July 1975 from outside the post office where her father worked.

After 36 years she naturally assumed that it was gone for good. Amazingly, it was recovered after it was recently bought online by an eagle-eyed classic car enthusiast.

Keith Williams bought the Camaro SS from eBay and discovered that certain things didn't quite add up when it arrived.

Convinced that the Chevy was a fake, Keith contacted California police, who investigated and tracked the car back to a 1975 stolen vehicle report.

They contacted the registered owner at the time, Ms Maffucci, and told her they'd found her car. She hung up, thinking it was a joke, but when the local police paid her a visit, she was convinced, and arranged to have the car delivered.

Since the theft, the Camaro's original six-cylinder engine had been swapped for a more powerful V8.

Mr Williams was able to recoup his investment in the car through buyer's insurance, and Ms Maffucci has been reunited with a car that is now worth significantly more than it was when stolen.

The original thief is yet to be found, but police continue to investigate.

Source: http://uk.cars.yahoo.com/13052011/36/stolen-car-returned-36-years-0.html

I think this deserves an award of joke of the century but it's for real sha.