₦airaland Forum

GREED is one of seven basic character flaws or “dark” personality traits. We all have the potential for greedy tendencies, but in people with a strong fear of lack or deprivation, Greed can become a dominant pattern. Greed is a desire to have more of something than you need. People who are consumed by greed become utterly fixated on the object of their greed. Greed is also associated with negative psychological states such as stress, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, and despair, and with maladaptive behaviours such as gambling, scavenging, hoarding, trickery, and theft.
Continue at: https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

BHyundai:
I own a Santa Fe and it surely is a good drive. I hope to enjoy the car without much issues.

Share your experience if you've driven a Santa Fe before

I reluctantly bought a tokunbo 2004 Hyundai Santa Fe in November 2019. The car was imported from Germany. The last user has even installed gas option on it. It is fitted with 2.7L engine with AWD. And 17" rims.
It is already a year I have been using it.
It is durable, rugged and balanced on any terrain.
It is peppy and bumpy on rough roads because of the sporty shocks.
I have no regret whatsoever buying it.

There’s an old, outdated assumption that time heals all wounds. But I believe this to be untrue. In the words of Dr. Phil, “Time doesn’t change us. It’s what we do with that time that changes us.” We are all more than capable of taking control back into our own hands when life knocks us down.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/specific-ways-to-take-your-life-back-when-youre-broken

The problem with rich kids is that they were insulated from the public when they were young, as they grow up they savour every opportunity they come in contact with those who are in their circles. No serious attachment or emotional bonding. Just the thrill of showing off.

Nigerians youths are threatening a second wave of the #EndSARS protests on Monday 9th November 2020, in some parts of Lagos and Abuja. Some aggrieved youths have taken to social media to show their displeasure following a court order granting the Central Bank of Nigeria, the right to freeze the accounts of 19 individuals and a public affairs company linked to the #EndSARS protests Eric Shuman and Eran Halperin take a look at how activists can both create pressure for change and win over support.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/what-kinds-of-protests-actually-work

School failure is a process in which the student gradually falls back behind their peers and experiences a disconnect from compulsory education, which ultimately results in them dropping out before graduation. This process can occur at any time, but it does occur more frequently during ‘transitional’ periods, e.g moving from primary school to high school.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/Tips-for-parents-and-students

Let’s talk about new year planning. There’s something so exciting to me about the start of a new year. It feels like it contains so much possibility and you know how I feel about possibilities. There’s always so much I want to do every year and in order to be able to get it all done, I need to be very intentional about my new year planning in terms of choosing goals that are attainable and having a plan for how to tackle them.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/new-year-planning-the-secret-to-an-epic-year

Happiness is much more than a simple smile. It's not about jumping for joy 24 hours a day every day of the week. If you did that, you might be on the edge of a mental illness called mania, defined as being in a constant state of euphoria and excitement. Happiness is the experience of all kinds of positive emotions like pride, hope and awe. It is even deep-felt serenity, gratitude and love. Happiness even includes negative emotions such as sadness, anger and fear. Why? Because happiness is about having the full human experience, and negative emotions are a big part of that. They play an important role in living a happy, healthy life, and prove to you that you can feel.

Continue at
https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/Redefining-Happiness-To-Make-It-Easier-To-Achieve

Whether you’ve been teaching for just a few weeks or several years, you’ve probably already seen or heard about the monster mothers or fuming fathers. Though there are many perks of being a teacher, you begin to realize that difficult parents kind of come with the teaching territory.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/teachers-survival-guide-for-dealing-with-difficult-challenging-parents

Our mothers are the foundation of our first attachment to the world. As infants, we learn by her example how to bond with others. We derive our initial sense of our self-worth from how she cares for us, nurtures us, protects and shields us from harm.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/8-toxic-ways-narcissistic-mothers-emotionally-abuse-their-children-294

Should I Tell Him How Many Men I Slept With Before We Met?
Soulmates Nov 27, 2020 0 1 Add to Reading List
The value of romantic curiosity and self-disclosure.
Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D.

“I never talk about the past unless they ask... even then I say, ‘Are you sure you want my past to be your present?’" —Julia

“One who is too curious in observing the labor of bees, will often be stung for his curiosity.” —Alexander Pope

“Ignorance is bliss.” —Thomas Gray

Self-disclosure is important in romantic relationships, but should it include one’s sexual history? Does it promote the healthy endurance of romantic relationships? These issues are disputable.

Curiosity, the wish to gain more knowledge, is essential to human life. There is a long philosophical tradition that views knowledge as vital to a good life. A different tradition considers knowledge as a stumbling block to happiness: Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden because they ate from the Tree of Knowledge.

Similarly, in the world of romance, one song states that “to know you is to love you,” while another insists that “familiarity kills desire,” and that mystery is valuable in love and sex. The problematic nature of past knowledge is also expressed in Ingrid Bergman’s claim, “Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”

It is common to be curious about our partner’s sexual experiences, both present and past. However, while their present sexuality may be relevant to the current relationship, their past experiences are often not. Here, I focus on our curiosity of our partner’s past sexuality, more significant in our times when people have had more sexual partners and the feasibility of reunion is greater.

Do you tell your new partner about your exes?

Here are some women's answers to the question of whether to tell their current partner about their exes.

“I can say that this pushes men to envy and comparison while making them restless. Hence, it is a very bad idea. Of course, everything depends on the specific man and his level of self-esteem.” —Lylah

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“Do not say anything. Zero. The beginning of a relationship should be with a clean slate. My previous sexual experiences should not impact the current one.” —Eva

“I try to keep my privacy and do not reveal much information. I share some positive aspects of the current relationship as compared to previous ones, as it generates positive comparison. Similarly, I do not want to hear about their past lovers, unless the comparison is favorable to me.” —Ophira

“I've slept with almost 100 men and this is nobody's business, just my shameful past. I have chosen not to further punish myself by telling any boyfriend. The question of 'numbers’ always comes up and I always say ’30.’'' —Jane

“After 20 years of marriage, I told my husband about my ex. He was extremely upset and our relationship has become hostile, on the verge of divorce.” —Marian

What should not be discussed?

“My ex would have a really bad habit of telling me all the men she'd slept with, penis sizes, intimate details like that and it would really piss me off.” —John

It is perhaps obvious that we should not tell our partners everything, especially not at the beginning of the relationship. Tracey Cox suggests eight things you should never tell your partner:

How good your ex was in bed
How sexually good you were with other lovers
Past behavior that doesn't reflect who you are now
Giving exact numbers of sexual partners
Favorably referencing the same ex more than once
Playful boasting designed to make one’s partner jealous
Any reference to penis size
“I've never had a problem having an orgasm before.”
These prohibitions try to avoid lethal comparison to the current partner. The list can be expanded to issues such as the wonderful vacation you spent in Italy, odd things that one’s ex liked to do in bed, how you met, good traits of the ex, how your girlfriends loved him, how the ex is similar and different from the current partner, the presents he bought you, how he broke your heart, and that you still have feelings toward him.

If people still want to provide information about their sexual past, it is preferable to give vague and open-ended information.

The importance of self-disclosure

“I asked and told. Many men refrain from asking, as it is harder for them to know that their partner slept with many men. There is still a strong negative attitude toward women with a rich sexual past than toward men with such a past.” —Jane

“Most men do not like to hear details about the sexual adventures of their female partner with other men, especially when such details dwarf them.” —Lucy

Despite difficulties in disclosing previous intimate details, self-disclosure enhances intimacy. Indeed, many counselors recommend disclosing your sexual past to your new partner enabling consequent benefits, such as enhancing mutual knowledge, strengthening trust and sincere communication, avoiding repetition of past mistakes, and reducing suspicion about your past. The value of self-disclosure is particularly evident when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases.

Notwithstanding these benefits, studies indicate that positive biases and illusions are valuable in making romantic relationships more satisfying and less distressing. Sustaining a sense of security often requires weaving an elaborate story that both embellishes a partner’s virtues and minimizes their faults. Regardless, not sharing information is not necessarily hiding it—it may be retaining one’s deserved privacy.

Additionally, there are gender differences. Generally, women are more vulnerable than men in intimate relationships and there is a stronger negative stigma for women having sex with many men. Although gender differences are shrinking now, a detailed sexual self-disclosure by women may be more harmful and likely to make their partners more jealous and insecure. One can argue that early self-disclosure can reveal the jealous and insecure nature of their partners. This is true, but such characteristics may be easier to detect in other circumstances, without the risk of hurting the partner.

Another gender difference concerns the timing of sexual self-disclosure. Based upon her experience, Hanna said that “most men are egocentric—they prefer to talk than to listen. Even on the first date, they brag about their sexual performances, thereby eliminating my wish to share about myself.”

To tell or not to tell?

“My second husband asked me whether my first husband’s c*ck was bigger than his. I did not want to lie and said, ‘Yes, very much so.’” —Rebecca

“It is more important to tell him how many men you’ve slept with after meeting him.” —Harold

There is no golden rule determining what and when to tell your current partner about past sexual partners—it depends on the nature and development of the bond. Generally, not revealing anything is problematic and sharing all details is worse.

Open and sincere discussions are significant, though the question of timing is crucial. Sharing details of your exes on a first date through tiring stories is unadvisable. A better way to get to know each other is through ongoing interactions that reveal your authentic nature.

Sexual self-disclosure enhances the toxic aspect of comparison. Thus, Rebecca’s second husband, who asked her about her first husband’s penis size, thought for many years that her first husband was better in bed as well—something that was untrue. This is an example of sincerity that destroys relationships, more so than insincerity.

Unlike the prevailing view that encourages us to share our deepest secrets, conversely, escape can be valuable in coping with harsh reality. There is no sense in focusing on past events we cannot change for this only increases negative rumination. Not discussing one’s previous sexual behavior is, in a sense, avoidance of an emotional minefield. People should avoid revealing specific details that may have an enduring harmful impact.

Describing past experiences should not result in comparing or evaluating one’s present partner, but rather create positive learning that enhances the existing relationship. This is possible if done with great moderation and sensitivity.

For other spicy articles visit
https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

Transform reactivity into creativity via curiosity, intention and wonder.
In these uncertain times, it’s only natural to feel unmoored. Among political strife, social upheaval, economic instability, and widespread health concerns, there are a lot of unknowns in our futures.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/how-to-advance-your-goals-through-uncertainty-and-doubt

The real key to success is making great products and putting a lot of hard work into them. lol ….F*CK THAT!!!
Learn more at
https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/revealed-strategies-scammers-use-to-trap-people

Conflict Resolution Using the "Interest-Based Relational" Approach
Therapies/Toolkits Nov 19, 2020 0 48 Add to Reading List
Conflict is an inevitable part of work. We've all seen situations where people with different goals and needs have clashed, and we've all witnessed the often intense personal animosity that can result.
As you'll learn in this article and video, the fact that conflict exists, however, is not necessarily a bad thing. When you resolve it effectively, you can also eliminate many of the hidden problems that it brought to the surface.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/conflict-resolution-using-the-interest-based-relational-approach

Few couples like to admit it, but conflict is common to all marriages. We have had our share of conflict and some of our disagreements have not been pretty. We could probably write a book on what not to do! Start with two selfish people with different backgrounds and personalities. Now add some bad habits and interesting idiosyncrasies, throw in a bunch of expectations, and then turn up the heat a little with the daily trials of life. Guess what? You are bound to have conflict. It’s unavoidable.

https://positivepsychology.org.ng/13-personalities-that-create-high-conflict-in-relationships

Well, it’s been one heck of a year. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to see what 2021 has in store... But before we start fantasizing that next year is going to be sunshine and rainbows, let’s take a step back and cool our jets.

Continue at https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/entrepreneurs-planning-for-2021a-lesson-from-2020

Do you ever wonder whether your unhappy teenager/adolescent may be experiencing depression? Of course most teenagers feel unhappy at times due to mood swing caused by hormonal changes. This cannot be referred to as depression.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

At this critical moment in Nigeria, here are vital resources for you to keep yourself together. Keep safe. Stay safe.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/coping-with-and-surviving-personal-crisis

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/7-tools-for-managing-post-traumatic-stress-disorder

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/focus-your-mind-on-positive-aspects-of-life

Every Human Deserves A Better Life: Enrich A Life Today! Raising a generation of success-motivated people that are set towards fulfilling purpose irrespective of their backgrounds.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/divine-intervention-impact-foundation-diif

Many of us love and use WhatsApp. However, do you know that WhatsApp calling, WhatsApp messaging and other features of the famous app may be ending your relationship?

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/how-whatsapp-could-be-ending-your-relationship

Many of us love and use WhatsApp. However, do you know that WhatsApp calling, WhatsApp messaging and other features of the famous app may be ending your relationship?

www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

MMany grandparents grew up in an era of angry confrontations between the generations. As they ease into the role of family patriarchs and matriarchs, they may wonder: What happened to the generation gap? Is it gone or just on hiatus? Or it is still present but mostly underground?

For answers to these questions and many more, visit
https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/generation-gap-reasons-effects-and-solutions

Want to be your true self? Then try these 20 authenticity strategies. Being your authentic self can feel risky now in our screen-obsessed world. We’re just trying to fit in, be liked, and be accepted by other human beings. And as a result, the image we present (on our social media profiles and IRL) have become mere presentations of who we think we should be and not reflections of who we really are. So how do we take off the mask we've been wearing and start to live a life of authenticity?

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

Illusions hold you back. They stop you from striving forward and making leaps and bounds towards fulfilling all of your hopes and desires. There are many illusions in life we convince ourselves of. I promise you will recognise at least two, out of the seven, that you will have used on yourself within the past month. Read through them carefully and understand them. Wake up and recognise when you’ve used these illusions in life as excuses and begin removing them.
Continue at www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

'There are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function.” ― C. JoyBell C.

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

Today, Nigeria, a beloved country is celebrating her 60th independence anniversary.

Kindly update your knowledge on indepedent person and independent country at https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/why-no-african-nation-is-truly-independent

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/heres-what-independent-people-do-differently

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/signs-youre-so-independent-you-scare-people-away

Happy Indendence Anniversary.

Both the industrial and digital revolutions promised increased productivity, meaning people could work less and live a more balanced life. We all know that’s not how history has played out. Even as technology advances, we work longer hours than ever and ironically, struggle financially and accrue more debt with each passing year. If you haven’t noticed adverse effects on your personal relationships or the other areas of your life, you’ll likely keep plowing full-steam ahead and only stop when you have a compelling reason. So here’s my proposition: Work as often as you damn well please! It’s your life; these are your moments to fill and hopefully enjoy.

Continue at. www.positivepsychology.org.ng/

Accept my condolences.
Be courageous to move on with life.
Be patient. Mourn the dead man and let few weeks roll by before you are bothered by anything.
At this period, be observant. Someone or some people may approach you to give you some pieces of information.
If you have access to his personal effects, some documents may be revealing concealed information about the late man.
If you know of any close friend, you may eventually approach such if nobody come to you in the next 21 days.

A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions.
What’s the best way to raise a child?
The answer to this age-old question is hotly debated — and it’s likely you know someone who thinks their way is the best.

Read up at www.positivepsychology.org.ng

Candidates with strong soft skills are in high demand for many different types of jobs. What are soft skills, and why are they so important? Soft skills are the interpersonal attributes you need to succeed in the workplace. They are how you work with and relate to others—in other words, people skills.

To know more, visit

https://www.positivepsychology.org.ng/