₦airaland Forum

how was ya holiday?

gawd punish you

still enjoying the holiday

mouth dey pain you?

na spam make sylve get ban automatically, not Dani.

oya wkp

poor tin

by.dot na soji guy

post ya link

professional garri drinkers

hehehe. . yahoo messenger I mean.

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

see dat pikin no dey fear o

first experience so shocking

see them

A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis.

Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing.

After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me."

The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected; But finally he decides to inspect the area.

Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone.

Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!"

The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."

where you from come out?

A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast.

On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane," by which sister Jane says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed sister. She did not understand what sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on.

She was passing by the garden when she ran into sister Roberta and she says, "Good morning sister Roberta I am having a great day. Sister Roberta says, "I see you got off
on the wrong side of the bed."

The nun was wondering why everybody she met kept saying that when she felt great so she decides to go and see mother superior.

She asks mother superior, "Everybody keeps telling me that I got off on the wrong side of the bed when I feel great and mother superior says,"That is because you have brother John's shoes on."

you wey be Pentium M wen u just come Lagos, now u don downgrade 2 Pentium 1

but Gabby's hand covered the long tin. . .the question is how big is gabby's hand?

are you not a police officer?

me I no dey chop human meat abeg

that's a mistaken identity

I'm better compared to the little rat u were supporting

greet well na. . or you quit disturbing

The guy enjoyed it

One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.

The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."

The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit MECCA but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Saudi Arabia."

The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"

The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?

at least, I know how a normal shaped boobz shud be

Gabby, It's a priviledge.

Muki, let her share her first time experience, pls.