₦airaland Forum

GboyegaD: Please keep it. The deed has been done and there is no reason to punish the foetus for the sins of his/her father. From the way you sound you aren't doing badly thus, I believe you have the werewithal to raise the child.

Les: Simply go and beg ur wife, if she no gree, com back house and go and find urself another muslim girl since dat is wat u are good at

7842I: Does it mean this girl has still not destroyed this man? Maybe the man has converted her with sweet sessions of tender s€x, melted her heart with gentle phucking and munching down below. I am sure the lady is begging the man to dump his original wife and marry her, revenge ko, enjoyment ni

CFCfan: I was bewildered by the ref's decision there. To make matters worse, the additional assistant referee didn't even think it was a penalty. People will continue to question the usefulness of those additional assistant refs.

Ishilove: Poster, you and your ilk are turning this section to a joke with these kind of threads. When someone with genuine concerns opens a thread, people will be scared of responding because you and your jobless group have spoilt their minds.

First, you are a jobless graduate pursued by the powers of your father's house. You overslept on the day you had an interview with an oil company (maybe na palmoil or ororo company sef. Mcheww): www.nairaland.com/1043112/dead-dis-home-trouble-stupidity

Then, all of a sudden, you, a jobless graduate, has a 7year old daughter and a househelp who destroyed your lappy worth 160k:
www.nairaland.com/1059157/what-househelp

And, wait for this, this same jobless graduate who has been brokeass since he graduated from the UNI 8years ago has a wife who he has known for 19 years and been married to for 14 years. This wife is afraid to go nude in his presence: www.nairaland.com/1069414/why-does-she



Please come over to the literature section. We need more story tellers there.

Gloriagee: Apparently, yu guys missed the memo - It's always the lady's fault o

If the marriage is fruitless, it's her fault
If the guy's got roving eyes/ fingers - it's her fault as she most likely let herself go or wasn't prayerful enuf
If the guy dumps her after a long courtship - she was either too cheap or desperate or God knows what
If she gets played by some married guy - she should have been smarter
If she gets raped - she was most likely seductively dressed or gave come hither looks
If she has inlaw issues - she has personality issues or is a plain ol alakowe

Yet to see a scenario where it's not the female's fault. IT IS THE WIFE'S FAULT

greatgod2012: ^^
my brother, you and slimyem are absolutely right, everyone should be responsible for their actions and decisions. However, some things are just too coincident to be separated or ignored, that is why we need to pray to the good Lord to always make us goodluck to everyone we come accross.
For example, two of my husband's aunties use to call me......"iyawo mi oloriire", just because of good turn-around that happened to my hubby after we got married, the same way they could have called me "iyawo elese osi meji", if things went bad for him, even though i might not be instrumental to either his good fortune or his backwardness, its the coincidence of the whole thing that makes people think in that direction, yes, its bad to think that way, but, we are all humans, and human being will always be human being.

@op, it could happen the other way round o, its not only peculiar to wives, if you are doing very well before you married your hubby, and all of a sudden, things turn sour, pple will say that, that your husband has brught his badluck to your life, especially your folks, so, dont be bias, and be yourself, if what you posted is what is happening to you, take heart, and believe that, its a phase and it will soon pass, you can even call your spouse and encourage him, tell him that evryone has his/her/their trying time and this is yours and that you believe that all will soon be well.
May God help us all.

greatgod2012: ^^
my brother, you and slimyem are absolutely right, everyone should be responsible for their actions and decisions. However, some things are just too coincident to be separated or ignored, that is why we need to pray to the good Lord to always make us goodluck to everyone we come accross.
For example, two of my husband's aunties use to call me......"iyawo mi oloriire", just because of good turn-around that happened to my hubby after we got married, the same way they could have called me "iyawo elese osi meji", if things went bad for him, even though i might not be instrumental to either his good fortune or his backwardness, its the coincidence of the whole thing that makes people think in that direction, yes, its bad to think that way, but, we are all humans, and human being will always be human being.

@op, it could happen the other way round o, its not only peculiar to wives, if you are doing very well before you married your hubby, and all of a sudden, things turn sour, pple will say that, that your husband has brught his badluck to your life, especially your folks, so, dont be bias, and be yourself, if what you posted is what is happening to you, take heart, and believe that, its a phase and it will soon pass, you can even call your spouse and encourage him, tell him that evryone has his/her/their trying time and this is yours and that you believe that all will soon be well.
May God help us all.

nikkykay: @ Zeefa, did u take ur time to find out y her father left her mother?
I had d same issue wit a bf long time ago. Then we were in school. The guy made it cleared to me that i culdnt separate him from him friends. His friends started ignoring me to make matter worse. Nobody told me be4 i became friendly with them. He was in his final year then.
After he left it was the same friends that helped me thru out on campus. We became good friends that my bf started wondering again if there was anythg.

I think your wife shld see ur friend as an elder brother! I mean some1 she can run to when u r even misbehaving.
Concerning the issue of divorce, am a woman and i dont support ds. Most ladies saying you dont gve her attention bla bla are not be truthful cos u dont know wot dey r facing in dir relationships. Have dey taken time to think if d woman is d boring type. I have a friend dat we hang out when he is in d country. He doesnt like football. He thinks its a stupid thing for 22 men to be chasing ard one leather. Anytime, we hang out esp wkends and DSTV is showing any match, he know e cant disturb me esp whn my team is playing. He wont even stop me when am discussing wit other guys about football. Whenever he wants to call me, he calls me Arsenal or Madam Arsenal. I made him to start watching ball even tho e doesnt have favourite team.

Fine ur wife needs attention esp now that she is pregnant but to me she is not handling the situation wit wisdom and the reason being that ur mum is controlling her. She shld even thank God that u guys aint hanging out till late! There r better ways she can get ur attention and u wont have to call ur friend for 2 hrs virtually everyday.
If u guys r in a lovely relationship or ur wife is a talkative like me, i can bet u will hardly remember to call dayo Whn u get home cos i wil bombard u with d day's activities.

My advice is to call her wife to order abt her mum and let her know she cant threaten you wit divorce if she doesnt want to end up like her mother. U need to talk sense into her head. Let her know dre r ways she can reduce the way u make fone call to ur friend.

Her marriage is wot she makes it. Women r the architects of their homes. They can make it or mar it. Let her realise all these. Let her know she can learn from dayo's wife.

I pray God helps u both!

jennykadry: This has got nothing to do with control. You and the others might say otherwise and deny however you like but you all especially Dayo, will not sit back and allow his wife chat with a friend for 2 hours everyday.

I remember a thread last year or the year before ,where one man threw his wife's phone on the wall and smashed it cos she was always chatting with a friend. Some of the people here playing hide and seek questioned who the woman was chatting with.

What is good for the goose isn't for the gander. Let me hear word abeg

dayokanu: ^^After the game, does your husband call friends to discuss the game and argue it for a while?

Most guys do it. Even on NL after a game guys congregate in the Sport section to analyse for hours. This happens every Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and atimes Monday and Thursday

You cant suddenly leave all that because you are married.

because one is married doesnt mean other aspect of life is dead

If its a world cup final, Champions league fina, Superbowl final, NBA finals For most guys only a matter of life and death would make them shift

Some people commit suicide, refuse food or go into depression after the game, So sexy moves at these times might be ignored

And dont turn it to "So football matters more than me" or Choose between football and me" you might be surprised at the response at that point in time

dayokanu: ^^ The same friend closeness was what helped her in her exams, It was what helped the husband settle down in the UK

2hours might be too much but I get irritated when people start giving me ultimatum, And once the ultimatums start coming you never know what next. Maybe stop spending time calling your parents or I would divorce, stop staying long at work or I would divorce, Stop watching football or I would divorce. If she wan divorce let her go ahead and divorce

He was that way when they were dating if she went ahead to marry him like that why insist he changes now?

Soon now the guy go begin avoid coming home or staying late at work just to avoid such scenarios

coogar: this is a hard one to call but.......

talking 2 hours everyday with your friend is excessive but if this is the way it has always been even during the courtship with your wife then she's got no excuses to complain. i get particularly peeved with women who just think they can walk in and change the status quo. if she was not happy about the bond between you and your friend, where was her voice before she married you?

the fact that she's threatened divorce also says a lot about her than the bond between you and your friend. if she wants to go, let her go. don't let anyone use any cheap emotional blackmail to destroy you. women? if the going gets rough tomorrow, she would be the first person to pack her bags and leave you. don't let any woman come between you and your friend. if my woman does not like my closeness to any of my friends from the onset, then she should not marry me!

dayokanu: Thats the thing when you are married

You cant talk or hang out with your friends that must mean you are sleeping with them. You must not talk too much with your family too much else it means you are phoccking your parents, you must not talk too much with your neighbors else you are nyanshing them, must not watch TV too much not use phone too much, not use computer too much else you are cheating, if you go to work too much you are phocking your oga or colleague

Try adjust your life, Just sleep wake up go to work and look her in the face 24hrs daily at least that would make her happy

Marriage is for men to make women happy without consideration for whatever makes the man happy. You wonder why men still die before women

All your friends contribution to her passing the PLAB is inconsequential, Maybe she should have rejected the help and banned the friendship when she was getting those help

lawizle: Men dat Alves pass hard to repeat oh..hin sef no go bliv hin leg..

slimyem: ...so what exactly are you saying?