₦airaland Forum

coogar: how so?
if my own parents can understand - why can't she? i think nigerians in general idolise the mother-in-law too much. the daughter is now married. she's left her parents, i have left mine to forge our own family.
same applies to the man as well.
humble pie my foot!
well - the degree of bitchassness tolerance varies from one individual to another. if i were this guy, my communication with the mother in law stops the day we told her of the newborn with her refusing to show up at the hospital. i would just consider her non-existent. in my heart of hearts, i would assume she has travelled, imprisoned or dead. i have a mum who can help my wife and the newborn!

2jideofor: This the problem of using BB. Many people dont know how to effectively use the phone they carry around....
I was stunned to see a bread seller( lady) using the same Bold 5 BIG chics dey carry around as alpha and omega...

Odunnu: Write in English and with English alphabets

coogar: God forbid!
a mother in law that is not happy with my newborn is not welcome in my house. let he stay in her husband's house. there are wives without mothers in this world and they are coping quite well. what sort of mother in law would not put her pride and ego aside and celebrate the birth of her grandchild? may she rot in blazes!!!!

nonsense!

byvan: Genetics will also play a role,some 45years old can be sexually active than some 25years old.Did the Oyinbo take Africans's specimen why carrying out that research??

Other studies have suggested, though not as definitively, that behavior and relationships affect testosterone levels. A study of Air Force veterans showed that testosterone climbed back up after men were divorced. A study of Harvard Business School students found that those in committed romantic relationships had lower testosterone than those who were not. Another study found that fathers in a Tanzanian group known for involved parenting had low testosterone, while those from a neighboring culture without active fathering did not.

Rooneyboy: The lady 29 , the guy 33

once in two weeks? tufiakwu!
your husband needs to check his testosterone level. is he 40 yrs or more? i bombard my partner twice a day and i still think i am not doing enough! discussion is still on the way to increase my ration and your husband is fine with once in 2 weeks? what you guys are going through is abnormal but if you are both happy with the arrangement then kudos to you!

coogar: mother-in-law needs a reality check. her daughter is no longer a baby. i doubt she raised her to be independent - this can be the only reason why she wants to know everything including her sex routine in her matrimonial house.

byvan: Theres some research to even show that when a man had kids, his testosterone levels drop... sad ehn?

Lies!not African men.

In Study, Fatherhood Leads to Drop in Testosterone
By PAM BELLUCK
This is probably not the news most fathers want to hear.

Testosterone, that most male of hormones, takes a dive after a man becomes a parent. And the more he gets involved in caring for his children — changing diapers, jiggling the boy or girl on his knee, reading “Goodnight Moon” for the umpteenth time — the lower his testosterone drops.

So says the first large study measuring testosterone in men when they were single and childless and several years after they had children. Experts say the research has implications for understanding the biology of fatherhood, hormone roles in men and even health issues like prostate cancer.

“The real take-home message,” said Peter Ellison, a professor of human evolutionary biology at Harvard who was not involved in the study, is that “male parental care is important. It’s important enough that it’s actually shaped the physiology of men.”

“Unfortunately,” Dr. Ellison added, “I think American males have been brainwashed” to believe lower testosterone means that “maybe you’re a wimp, that it’s because you’re not really a man.

“My hope would be that this kind of research has an impact on the American male. It would make them realize that we’re meant to be active fathers and participate in the care of our offspring.”

The study, experts say, suggests that men’s bodies evolved hormonal systems that helped them commit to their families once children were born. It also suggests that men’s behavior can affect hormonal signals their bodies send, not just that hormones influence behavior. And, experts say, it underscores that mothers were meant to have child care help.

“This is part of the guy being invested in the marriage,” said Carol Worthman, an anthropologist at Emory University who also was not involved in the study. Lower testosterone, she said, is the father’s way of saying, “ ‘I’m here, I’m not looking around, I’m really toning things down so I can have good relationships.’ What’s great about this study is it lays it on the table that more is not always better. Faster, bigger, stronger — no, not always.”

Experts said the study was a significant contribution to hormone research because it tested men before and after becoming fathers and involved many participants: 600 men in the Cebu Province of the Philippines who are participating in a larger, well-respected health study following babies who were born in 1983 and 1984.

Testosterone was measured when the men were 21 and single, and again nearly five years later. Although testosterone naturally decreases with age, men who became fathers showed much greater declines, more than double that of the childless men.

And men who spent more than three hours a day caring for children — playing, feeding, bathing, toileting, reading or dressing them — had the lowest testosterone.

ileobatojo: Wow! What a reach! I have no words. Trying to connect paragraph one and two logically and convincingly is quite the mental process!

That aside, once again, how does it all relate to the subject matter at hand?

chaircover: Biola has had a really hard day in the business section He has only come here to unwind

. . . .but seriously o! I too didnt know what feminism had to do with a MIL not being told about a pregnancy and I am almost sure that if anything, it was the husband strutting his stuff and wifey hurriedly submitting to his order of "you must not tell that your mum that you are pregnant oooooo!"

ileobatojo: Please I'd like to offer two cowries to anyone who can tell me what feminism has to do with the issue at hand.

apache77: @lefulefu and masagoody- we all know these things na...the churchy churchy types will not do random guys so they select carefully. they have much to lose in terms of reputation and integrity so they tend to go with the commited brothers, they must always be seeing u around or u r in a unit with them. once u r in one church group, activity or the other, all goes. they become more at home with you. they know u have as much to lose as they shd u be the kiss and tell type.
there are two types of church sisters- the young and impressionable(between the ages of 18-25) and the other group- experienced, 'I have heard that before' types-age 26-35 or older.

Now the experienced ones are the hardest to bed casually becos at that stage, they are either thru with school, wqorking and are looking for husbands.. they will stress u and atleast make sure that u r ready to marry them before giving u punny.
the impressionable types are taken in by the big car, fine boy swags and the fly lifestyle. they dont even remember they are christians, much less born again once they are outside church. they will just as easily follow u to a bar, lounge or club as they will readily follow you home.
And ofcouse, they always also expect financial gratification from you when you are parting. the only difference between them and olosho is that they keep quiet and sulk if you dont give them 'thanks for coming' unlike those ones that will raise hell.

By and large, the genuine church girls are few- less than 5% of the entire female population of any church.
my 2kobo

KazeKage1: This is like dealing those battle bakugan cards

greatgod2012: hhmmm, God will save your mouth, but its actually true.
"iwe kii se ogbon"
May God help us all.

May our daughters never do this to us, AMEN!

DavidJohnDavid: How do you deal with the African mentality that anyone living abroad automatically has money to shower on them?
My colleague has tried explaining to his relatives that life abroad is not a bed of roses and that people have to work here, that nothing is free and that because he lives abroad does not mean anytime they request money from him automatically mean that he has money to lavish on them. They do not believe him. They said he's lying that they know other people who live abroad too who are buying houses for other people. What else can he do to convince them?

Godmother: I dnt knw wasup. I'm always feeling tired. I do something very little and I bcom really tired. Doctors and med practitioners pls come to my aid.Need to knw what's wrong with me cos my personal and business life is suffering

maclatunji: LMFSO at wanting to live till 45 at least. Seriously though, some young ladies nowadays have become energizer bunnies and don't want to stop, they indeed are a threat to their husband's longetivity.

Shollypopz: So in what fvcking way is that Omowunmi Allen's fault??

She never insulted their wives!! The men deserve to take responsibility for their actions. She had a relationship with them and so what?? Is that what makes it right for the kid to insult her??

Women like you forget that the same kid you are encouraging to talk to her like that is going to talk to you like that someday. What does her armpit or her poosie have to do with paying Aigbe. Your post made no sense, pls let's learn to respect our fellow women.

byvan: Some women's attitude to life is baffling and this is a supposed graduate.

newacca: Before Fhemmmy respond to your question,I think I can also put in few words before my Ogas at the top come in.
Yes,there are so many reason distance relative and family friend could sponsor your education with huge fund.
1) If your family friend/Distance relative are so much interested in your education,may be because you are Brilliant,smart and intelligent from childhood. (i)In the case where such relatives are financially buoyant than your parent (ii) Or they do not have many children; they may want to invest in you.

2)In a case where the family friend or distance relative has interest in your upbringing,wants you to follow her/is discipline/professional field and took you in as her/is godson from childhood. Someone whom you grew up living with,from your childhood till date,he knows your potentials and capabilities,you shared your dreams with him and he has confidence in you. Why can't she/he sponsor your education in any part of the world.

3)When she/he does not have too much dependants or any finanical commitment coughing huge amount out of her/is pocket;why can't he/she sponsor you?

My tip:
After preparing the affidavit of sponsorship,you also get another letter from such distance relative/family friend,stating clearly why he wants to pay such amount for your education,how and why he developed interest in your education,how/why he has been sponsoring your education from the primary level to date. The letter should explain how he is responsible for your total upbringing and not financing your education alone. The letter should also declare a resounding and affirmative guarantee of your good behaviour in Canada and your return to Nigeria after your studies in Canada( dat one dey up to you ooo )
** On the family composition form/othe application form: U may make ur address look as if you live in the same place with the family friend/distance relative**
I wish you all the best.
ciao

coogar: what makes you think there's nothing in it for them? you must be new on nairaland! if i scam you and you just had an e-fight with biolabee. biolabee would support me even when it's as clear as daylight i am the guilty party. all the ladies turned down by siena supported shopclue. read between the lines, my friend!