₦airaland Forum

I have some question for the esteemed ladies in the house

1. Should the next generation of women be trained to be good cooks, excellent home making skills as the previous and current generation of women were and are?

2. If so would you say that these skills are not going to be relevant as part of the complete packaging that a woman needs
after all women are physiologically similar so what differentiates you is xter and your comportment in the home front is part of the package

3. The archetype which Stella represents as against the less well behaved women who were married earlier than she was
is it being implied they did not know how to handle the home front

My questions for now

superb flowing narrative

good point CC but the BIG RECESSION has shown that its not true that house prices rise
Most home prices in the US and UK have fallen or at best stagnated over the last 5 years

Only Canada seems to have escaped the recession

HisRib: What does America's gun problem have to do with anything? BTW, in case you haven't realized, let me help you understand -- NO CULTURE IS PERFECT. We all have our pros and cons. The key is to learn from one another by taking what is good and leaving what is bad. We can learn a thing or two from the West and they can learn from us also. Don't act like we are better than them.

Your low blow comment towards America's gun problem is simply pathetic. Take a look at the issues we have in Africa. If the world was to list all our problems, it would take them months, even years to complete.

Before you start pointing fingers at others take a GOOD look at yourself. The simple TRUTH is some of our traditions are USELESS and STUPID! If you can`t handle the truth that is YOUR problem!

BABE you dont have to be necessarily aggressive
there is no one taking a low blow at anyone.
You had a problem with spousal inheritance and by implication, you made a derogatory statement about African culture in its entirety
You should have just condemned the act and not everything in Africa


Its just like me saying gun culture epitomises Amerika

Calm down

She did not read anybody's posts instead she jumped in criticising those of us in africa

Please go and solve america's gun problem
What do they say
This is how we do it and our guns are an expression of who we are and our speech I.e. Culture

Not everyone from africa is daft... duh

greatgod2012: Abeg, no one is greater than anyone. God is d only great and mighty.

greatgod! :LOL!!
Now i see the reason for your moniker

w@nkenstein

Hisrib if you mean western culture as it is now you are right

This practice predates Africa and is not widespread nowadays due to the advent of modernism though some people still practice it

Are u aware some states in the US practice polygamy

[quote author=baby_123]This world is becoming very scary. So scary it can make someone paranoid. if a child is not safe with its parents, then that child is better off not being alive. This is so sad. Who can we really trust with our kids. So many sick people on the prowl.[/quote]Now you understand what i say when it is not worth it for some people to have kids and that it is beter such kids are given up for adoption or even aborted

[quote author=A-40]Really tho Duduspace suppose face Oputa panel for all the false hopes,dreams and megedefegede he sold to Arsenal fans in the days of yore[/quote]lol...and debosky, ahonohai sef

4llerbuntu: na seun cause all these kain reverse statements. if to say all those old DB nor wipe, a lot of you guys would not have the mouth to be denying your old yarns..


You and dudu kept on telling us about the evil of being bought by anyone, how the board were arsenal through and through and would not change the way the club is run.

u kept peddling this ideas of doom and gloom if the club is sold, how the Glazers put United in debt, how it is much better to groom starlets than to be buying players like chelsea. i remember the "when roman tires with chelsea and walks away" gists too

I know for a fact that DK remembers these yarns. thats why he is always ribbing about wenger's youth experiment.


abeg bros, save the story for the marines

i remember those days wella

carmi i dig ur siggy

very deep

carmi

very deep

seunajia: Maybe "poor Nigerians" would have been a better expression.

Most of those you find popping babies like no man's business these days are the poor. Villagers, Police officers, Military men, bricklayers, Okada riders etc. A visit to any of the military barracks or LASG health centers will convince you.

Bros you are right
You talk with some of them and they say things like

"The money that the child will need; God don provide am"

---

"If I no get money like rich man; i get pikin pass am"

No be their fault sha, since money no dey, na to dey p.hock remain

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Don't they give them those assignments. ...With the dolls they take home and care for...for like 7 days or so anymore? Gosh I remember years ago my friend's sister got one I swear to God, I was ready to go get my tubes tied because the prospect of having a baby was just bleh.[/quote]From what i hear and have seen, the dolls really work
Also a pet can be useful to reinforce the message of consistent care for another being

Christopher Farmer, the school superintendent, said inquiries were started when the number reached 10. "They are young white women. We understand that some of them were together talking about being pregnant and that being a positive thing for them," he told Associated Press.

Is this supposed to be exclusive to young black women only
SMH

seunajia: LMAO at the "juicy" part.

OP faces:

1. Financial burden of catering for 6 other people aside from his. If he's not rich, I see a lot of austerity.

2. Women one woman na one wahala, two women nko?

3. If it does not all work well. He'll be judged as evil in the court of man and God. Its a very dicy situation, thus I advised he "marries" the children, rent out the house and the woman can remarry.

PS: why do poor (Nigerians) people still bear so many children? IMHO, 2 kids are fine.

You are right here though I feel the use of the word poor was unnecessary
We need to find ways to manage the population though but some people just love large families and if dem no give themselves brain na their own be dat.

I like the welfare system but Govt should not introduce a nonsensical welfare system that rewards you for havin more kids like it happens in the UK

Eze Promoe: [color=crimson]1.) Ojukwu no from my village
2.) Bianca no be Igbo girl sef[/color]

Ezepomo, na wa for u o
So your point is that men from yoir village do not marry women old enough to be your daughter

Your village must be a model of upstanding individuals who respect the sanctity of women to choose their partners

Bianca not ibo?

You must have eaten too much pomo today

DailyNews: Loz, I quite understand you...then you know what Presently, I don't even look around, I don't even wish to, and I am not even in any...even though I do see people I wish to, but for personal discipline, I don't and u may believe or not, but thats it. so I have the discipline and integrity to stick to her only so long as she impresses me.

...and remember, as a man, my wife needs to impress me physically first, before anything else...so I insist that she must be attractive to me....and my own meaning of attractiveness may not be the same with yours....

Good that you qualified your earlier statement
A womans beauty helps some people but is no absolute guaranty that a man will be faithful

oluks05: Its one-on-one tutoring given by a private french tutor who has teaching experience with children and adults alike. Thanks

Thanks for the answer howver you have not answered the questions I asked

DailyNews: Winneygirl, lol, remember that this is "single ladies" thread and not 'single guys'? I hope you know that? But if you invite us, no problem...but me, to be honest, I don't have a long list; she just needs to be goodlooking and attractive so I won't cheat, and so when we go out (cos by God's grace I will be going places), she will be able to represent me well
.

YOU GBAGAUN FOR HERE
PERSIN WEY MARRY HALLE BERRY NO CHEAT ON TOP AM
YOU KNOW WETIN JAY Z DEY DO
 
EVEN PRINCE CHARLES CHEAT UPON LADY DI
 
Better still say you will not cheat because of your own principles
Dont hinge marital fidelity on beauty, something so ephemeral

Richvkunt: Look kid,am more experienced than you in these matters.You have been hurt by this man because you loved him and helped him get business contacts. You feel betrayed and dirty.You feel used. I understand but is it not better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all? you are lucky you found out he was marrired in three years,some do Not find out for years. Move on with your life. let this man go.

Its because of you i came back to this thread
Richy, i wish you would stop commenting on this woman's infantile strop
She is not worth it

she said only naija people cheat and she wants to teach them a lesson
Let her be

bukatyne: A lot of young widowers wouldn't mind another wife but the wife especially a widow with a lot of kids MUST be financially responsible. She is just 39yrs and the issue of old age doesn't suffice. Her 1st child is 19yrs and can also pull a little weight although I firmly believe that parents are to take care of their kids.

Before now, how has the woman been coping? Except if the OP is a 'big boy', I don't think it's easy for him to be solely responsible for both families.

Besides, in remarriage she should be seeking companionship and not looking for an escape route for her financial obligations.

Now you get the crux of the matter.
In the Ojukwu family, thery are fighting over sth..
In the Abiola and Williams family, they are fighting over sth ....

In polygamy, wives fight over that same thing

That thing is called [size=32pt] MONEY, EGO, KUDI, OWO[/size]

Eze Promoe: [color=crimson] If dem dey do like that for una village, no be for my own villa.
Imagine where dem see Nneka husband come dey call am Papa Nneka
[/color]

EzePOmo, EzePomo,EzePomo
Marrying young girls old enough to be your daughter is not new to any ethnic group
Ojukwu married Bianca when she was 21
I am sure they had already had things going on even before that

Ojukwu controversy

In 1989, it was revealed that Bianca Odumegwu-Ojukwu was dating former Biafran president and Ikemba of Nnewi Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, a political associate of her father who was over thirty years her senior.Their controversial romance was a national talking point in the early 1990s, Odumegwu-Ojukwu declared later in the year that the pressure of being in the public eye had become unbearable, causing her to resign as Miss Intercontinental and stated that her main concern was completing her education as a law student. Her decision enraged pageant organisers Silverbird who continue to ignore her 1988 reign on the MBGN website.

The Playboy himself married a very young girl

bukatyne: At 39 with 5 kids, she should be looking for a widower like herself.

As for obligations, what is she currently doing to earn a living or is she relying solely on the OP? Does she except a man to bear the burden of all her kids and his?

This are very pertinent questions you brought up

OP can you help with this

There are some widowers who would not mind having a blended family which has its own issues though
Issues like this have always mostly been tied to most financial considerations

Which widower with kids of his will want an added responsibility of FIVE more kids

damm

back2sender: Na Tin can island port i dey and i neva see any vehicle ooooo. make i begin sharpen my cutlass ready against cut off date

Bros as dem talk am you don sign

mimicue: Honestly @ poster I don't get you, if u are nice to her n her kids dats fine continue it and God will continue blessing u, but remove ur mind from marriage do not marry her okay, she's ur brodas wife n she had kids for him dats an abomination if she needs a man tell her to re-marry okay btw u av a wife and u want to consider her I pity u if u do because you will bring problem into ur home and life just save ur self d stress and tell her u don't want to do shikena

Good one so far until you said it is an abomination
By which law is it an abomination or taboo

This practice predates christianity
Levirate marriage

Levirate marriage is a type of marriage in which the brother of a deceased man is obliged to marry his brother's widow, and the widow is obliged to marry her deceased husband's brother.

Levirate marriage has been practiced by societies with a strong clan structure in which exogamous marriage (i.e., that outside the clan) was forbidden. It has been known in many societies around the world. The practice is similar to widow inheritance, where, for example, the deceased husband's kin can dictate whom the widow may marry.

The term is a derivative of the Latin word levir, meaning "husband's brother".

---

Widow inheritance, also known as bride inheritance, is a type of marriage in which a widow marries a kinsman of her late husband, often his brother.

It can have various forms and functions in different cultures, serving in relative proportions as a social protection for, and control over, the widow and her children. She may have the right to require her late husband's extended family to provide her with a new man, or conversely she might have the obligation to accept the man put forward by the family, with no real prospect of turning him down, if her birth family will not accept her back into their home.

The custom is sometimes justified on the basis that it ensures that the wealth does not leave the patrilineal family. It is also sometimes justified as a protection for the widow and her children.

A form of widow inheritance existed in ancient Judaism, where it is known as levirate marriage (see yibbum). It is known in India.[1] It is common in certain African groups, for example the Luo in Kenya and Uganda around Lake Victoria.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levirate_marriage

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Widow_inheritance

bukatyne: In an earlier post, I said she should remarry as Jesus can only meet her spiritual and some emotional needs.

There is no concord between Jesus Christ and Islam

You should have said this since so that there would be no opportunity for derailment
This is strictly a personal issue
Religious, tribal or ethnic inclinations will tend to colour people's post but it should be focus onthe issue rather than whose POV is better

Your point makes sense
However it will be difficult for a woman with 5 kids to remarry anyone as ther will be a lot of obligations except if they are really affluent
How do you see a practical solution to this case

bukatyne: Jesus Christ who is the King of Kings, Lord of lords, Bright Morning Star, Root and Offspring of David, Lion of the tribe of Judah, The Lamb that was slain, The Prince of Peace, The Chief Corner Stone, The Word and Truth, The Rescurrection and Life, The Bread of life etc I know.

Who is Jesus (AS)?

Basically the question is how can Jesus meet her needs which in this are purely emotional and physical.

AS is islamic for prophet

Eze Promoe: [color=crimson]And the husband is 20 years older (i.e 39 years plus). Now tell me, isn't that child abuse?[/color]

Ezepomo, you are looking for something else? A woman can definitely marry at 18 in any culture irrespective of the age difference

I believe there are prominent examples in our culture,let me jig your memory, hint; a warlord??

maclatunji: If a Muslim man marries a woman and she dies or he divorces her, he may go ahead to marry her sister if he wants her and she agrees. However, a Muslim man may not marry Taiwo and Kehinde at the same time being sisters or Idowu and Alaba at the same time being sisters.

Nice one. Clears my confusion

This topic is interesting and the references to yonder times polygamy as a means of preserving familial inheritance as against monogamy which is OYO.

It even blends into the horde of single unmarried women who did not enter the gate on time

Those on the other side do not pity them because as they say
dem use husband do boyfriend so why I go share my own

Interesting

What about the young widows and single mothers

If you ask me na who I go ask