₦airaland Forum

Wonderful piece.

Keeping up with casalinda.

funmisticqueen2:
Sooooo, now I know that going 50/50 is a terrible idea and a sham. However, in the past I did not know any better as I thought I was being progressive or that it made sense.However


My friend's Story:

She well to do, about 3 years my senior and very staunch in her beliefs also now a chartered accountant.

She was dating a guy for 4 years then(I know, ). It was her first serious relationship. She's super smart, like getting scholarships and a philosophical kinda smart, and a feminist to the core. Since the start of the relationship, He suggested that a relationship is a partnership, hence they should do everything 50:50. she used to have the mindset of "It makes sense to go in half of the bills because this isn't the 1960 anymore and many women are working now. It's not fair to the guy to pay all the bills". I loved her a lot, but it was one of the topics we both disagreed on that time.

I told her that everything wouldn't be exactly 50/50 as that's impossible, but her expectation was that it would be close. That also included housework as well.

Things became interesting when she and her boyfriend decided to rent a flat together.

They decided to split the bill and house chores. Even though at first he cooked, he stopped doing that as she began to learn how to cook soups from his tribe. There was a time when she lost her job at the beginning of buhari regime, so of course he had to pick up all the bills. She did all the cooking and housework and continued to look for a job because she felt it was the right thing to do. He would come home to a neat house, a hot meal but tired girlfriend. She eventually found another, but the pay was less.

However, he too lost his job about a year later and she was paying all the bills, there was almost no reciprocity. She would come home to a dirty house and no food. That was the time that she was working and going to courses to write her ACCA exams. Back then she would complain to me, since also was friends with the guy. She was so frustrated.



It became so bad that she had to resort to nagging when she got home and asked why the dishes were not done, he'd begin to do them while she would do other house chores....but he had all day to do them, . On a side note, she then began to fail her papers, and all he had was the audacity to say "Maybe you should find more time to study. She was making good grades when she was working and writing exams." All she kept telling me was, "IF HE HELPED AROUND THE HOUSE AND COOKED I WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO STUDY!!" Not only that, he had an online course, for 2 months which hardly count as full time But she didn't say anything.He eventually got another job though.

People suggested that she was emasculating him, so she said calmly tried talked to him about his lack of effort on several occasions but it didn't seem to matter although he agreed he'd do more.

He had a bad habit of starting chores and not finishing them (whether he had a job or not) and always had an excuse:

"I got distracted." "I'll get to it later." "I'm too busy"

It didn't help that family members were excusing his behavior. They claimed they always had to do his chores as he never finished them either, when they were kids. She didn't care about that. He wasn't a child anymore and that screamed lack of maturity.

She got so sick of it that she decided to be petty (she still regrets it). She didn't wash dishes for an entire month just to see how far it would go. Well, She only washed what she needed personally and left the rest. Surprisingly, he complained within a week. "The dishes haven't been done in a few days..." And she immediately proceeded to give most of the excuses he gave her the MULTIPLE times she confronted him about it during that month. He was pissed, but yet, only did the dishes a total of three times that month and had an attitude doing even that.

She ended up doing dishes again because she was tired of the state of the kitchen although it was only twice a week and that still wasn't enough for him.

Eventually, her new company was downsized and her salary was slashed. So she couldn't pay half like she used to. It was agreed that he'd pay rent and she'd pay the utilities and cable. Yeah...he eventually didn't like that anymore either.

He also started proposing marriage and wanting her to get pregnant before that and she said no. He asked why. She told him it was because It felt like she was doing most of everything. She did most of the cooking and cleaning still and having a baby would be more work for her. They had an argument about it. She honestly felt bad and thought maybe he would be a good dad but in any case, as if she didn't have enough red flags, this was the moment that confirmed 50/50 ideology was not working out for her. Just the thought of bringing a child into the world when she felt he wasn't even helping her or being supportive at that point was too much.

Eventually the relationship ended (I was the only happy one) . Her reasoning was because they weren't making each other happy and she couldn't take it anymore, and his was because she was a lazy woman who wasn't sacrificing for the relationship like he was (rolling my eyes at him).

She is in London today, doing her master's under a scholarship tuition free and all expenses paid. We still keep in touch. The guy is married. But he complains of how dirty his wife is. Ain't karma a bitch. The end.

Anyway, all that to say 50/50 is a scam. I feel like there are too many guys who proudly exclaim, "It's not 1950 anymore!" Or "It's 2020 now", but it obviously only applies to bills and NOT housework. They want the woman to still embrace her "gender role" 100% and do all the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing if a child or children are involved but also want the woman to step in HIS gender role as the provider and pay for half the bills as well. That's already 150% at least on her part while he's doing 50%

Also, I know that a financially well off man is not the only qualification because some will financially abuse women and I'm not advocating for complete dependency on a man either. All men have to be vetted the same in many areas no matter what.

Spits.

God bless Governor Ayade.

EasternPrince:
Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......


I don show!!!!!

Who wants to fight?

I think in this kind of situation, using the Nigerian pidgin would go a long way to solve the issue. Tell her AUNTY AH NO DO AGAIN. just be a man and end this rubbish before it destroys you. Wonder how you guys still take women serious.

Blu03:
No my prince. I hate hypocrisy.
You wouldn't know him but there's one goat, bigcowhorn who delibrately took to harassing me because of his female friend even though she was wrong.
The asslickerrrr. You would despise his also

Ignore him.

IamPlato:
be Careful, dont Play With A King Cobra

LOL

husbandsnatcha:
...Am trying to be nice since 2020 but u really like fighting me

As for how u look ,is ur mindset that is playing u ie African APe mindset A.A.M ,
LIKE
when sophisticated ladies gather in Europe ...u will hear women of substance

But when 2 or 3 successful females gather ...b4 they gather ashawo ashawo na Im u go dey hear 4 ur curse Nigeria....

I will beat u up trust me ,so annoying and disrespectful of , STDs will visit u soon from ur broke babe Amen
...

I don't have the time and resources to invest in a relationship with a woman, so trust me I don't have a babe let alone a broke one. Sorry you took the whole thing the wrong way. It was just banter. Nothing serious. By the way where is Rekhina?

husbandsnatcha:
...oh my dear
My dear am like this since birth ,just that u got carried away by wat kh.a n co say about me !
Am sweet to guys ,but ladies are hateful


But did u mean my type has STDs ? Or u just wanna play hate

I don't know if it's me but there is everything wrong with that photo you posted. You all looked like prostiitudes in diaspora. As for the STDs thing, I might be right though.

husbandsnatcha:
...which girl hurt u my sweetboy?
Tell mummy so she will console ur weeping heart

Console me? Nahh. Women can't hurt my type of guys trust me. For the records you've changed a little bit. You don't throw banters anymore. I'm liking you already.

husbandsnatcha:
...no single love at ur heart

Love is overrated.

javaRookie:
It should be.
HIV checked
Warts checked.

Foolish things.

Not forgetting genital herpes checked
Syphilis--checked
Gonorrhea--checked
Mouth odour-----checked.
Ugly set of evening newspapers---checked.

husbandsnatcha:
...Aneemal

We all are called higher Aneemals na.

AnalQueenluci:
Up Amazon √
Down black fools x
Black angels are weak ______ only good at drinking bloods of d ignorant , while great Amazons helps the poor unizik ,Coou unical and Uniport will testify our goodness





U forgot how we dealt with ur junior sis who stole from us in your home portharcourt ,
And never forget we have my sisters more in nigeria military most espiacially a specialist T-faya in Uzbekistan , so do nonsense I know u are in Dubai claiming portharcourt, So no hiding place 4 u !

FY.Info that we don't shout Amazon's in this childish forum nairaland dosent mean we aren't integrating ,
If I like I make them enter here to set ur ass on fire with ur 2012 nudes and that of ur terror rekhina
__


Look at them like expired robbers/prostitutes , go get a life

Flawless victory.

Hmmmmm

kokanepyramid:
me send you DM?

You wish.

Screenshot of me sending you PM or thunder fire those fingers you used in typing that lie.

Trashy tissue paper

LOL

Lol

1.5?

How much?

Ladies are feeling the heat. .

Lucid1:
Be patient, I'll be at Calabar later this month. I'll reply your mail; keep in touch.

Wow. That's good news. I'll be waiting then.

Lucid1:
Okay. I'm in Lagos now but will be going back to Abuja within the week, where are you located.

Calabar

Lucid1:
I have about 25gb of hierarchical tutorials you can use totally free. I'm in Abuja

**Not for sale

Lucid please I'm interested in getting this files. Any idea on how I can go about it?

Kennedyiheme:
make that 98%...

Follow your heart

Please continue spreading the gospel of freedom Ubunja.
Do yourself a favour by ignoring this pusssy nonentities.

TheFacelessMan:


I was a mercenary for the French Legion under Charles De Gaulle.

This is my role in the fall of the West African currency...

This is a conspiracy from before the times of Mitterrand and Chirac.

You must keep quiet or your life would be at risk....

Where have you been

I don't have the time and resources to spend with this women. Usually i don't take them serious. I'm too busy with other important things.

haryomikun:
You're boring

Really boring

Maynnations:
Money money money and more money