₦airaland Forum

This people are playing with this virus.

Sixfeetbelle:
I was in agreement with what you wrote until the last part. There will never be 'a good girl' for someone like the Op.

The problem here is that Op is full of ego and self-righteousness. He wanted a virtuous woman who would be completely loyal to him, despite the cheating on his part, despite the name calling, despite the threats to break up and such, forgetting that people deal differently with emotional issues. He fails to see that being emotionally unavailable was the precursor here (she cheated when they had issues).

Advising him to leave the relationship is good only if Op will endeavour to work on these attributes. Even if he leaves this girl, the cycle will repeat itself with another girl, and may even occur after marriage. If care is not taken, he may abuse her physically.

My two cents.

The girl in question isn't taking full responsibility for her actions but is rather blaming the op for everything. A mistake committed more than once automatically becomes a decision. Though I'm still in agreement with most of your assertions.

Happy birthday to her. Growing old and being happy is a priceless gift. May we all be happy and alive to enjoy such bliss.

The beauty of science.

May God protect us and all our loved ones Amen.

francislin:
That is my challenge. this taught keeps coming up all the time.

Some decisions are necessary for our own well being. You're a man with great ego. The possibility of you forgiving her wholeheartedly isn't realistic. Follow your mind bro. They are thousands of good women out there.

Leave her alone and move on. Please for the sake of your own sanity let her be and move on. Trust me they'll always be a thought of her cheating whenever you two are not around each other. Besides the thought of her past deeds will always hunt you.

The iroko.

Rubbish news. Always trying to paint our darling president bad. I don't blame ya'll.

Confused people. A time will come when we'll all be ready to fight our common enermy but until then let's keep praying for a better Nigeria.
God bless Nigeria.

Who takes this people serious?. This virus won't last in our obodo Nigeria. I still have faith in this government.
The virus will surely be contained. AMEN.

SisterFire:
...u are so fake

Is that all? You win.

SisterFire:
...my dear u aren't fake like blinking001 , others enjoyed it n they are lying .. .
I enjoyed those angelic moments from jss2 to ss2 in girls govt college in anambra branch( though am from portharcourt ) my dad prefer anambra cos of the cultist life in port but ..... U know now

I'm not fake na.

Hell no

Why has guns still not been banned in the US?
May God continue to protect us and our loved ones. Amen.

RIP to the dead soldiers.

Her birthday her problem. I believe there are more important things to talk about in this our obodo Nigeria.

God bless president Buhari. He's a true Democrat. Under his watch the supreme court has been really fair in its judgments thus far.
God bless Bayelsa state
God bless president Buhari
God bless Nigeria.

Cultism kills. RIP to the dead.

Yes soooooo. More greese to your elbows our darling president. Continue moving this nation forward inspire of the hate. Some of us still believe in you.
God bless the president
God bless the Federal Republic Of Nigeria.

May the sponsors of boko haram never go unpunished. Amen. This people are trying too hard to give our darling president a bad name inspite of all that he's doing for our darling nation.

MissGhosted:
pig u tink say i get ur time? Na farfromaverage i wan teach lesson. Ode

Abeg get my time na. Ah feel say you no the fear. Coward.

MissGhosted:
shuu. Persin wen dey answer me any how. The guy nor know me. A whole me na im he render. Omar09 don dey crase. I don show blinking001 shege. I go catch farfromaverage for brokus.

Attention seeking whoooore. I'm not really in the mood to throw banter with any foool anymore. Lass lass na you go press the report button. Just stay off my mention or else I'll surely put you in your place. Spits.

That woman should be held responsible.

Fake news

NigeriaIsDoomed:
If you are not a comedian you are wasting your talent.

Let's join hands with our darling president to move this country forward. He has the interest of the nation at heart.

God bless president Buhari. He has written his name in the sands of time as the best president Nigeria has ever had. Wailers should stop wailing and join hands so we can move our darling nation forward.

Wonderful piece.

Keeping up with casalinda.

funmisticqueen2:
Sooooo, now I know that going 50/50 is a terrible idea and a sham. However, in the past I did not know any better as I thought I was being progressive or that it made sense.However


My friend's Story:

She well to do, about 3 years my senior and very staunch in her beliefs also now a chartered accountant.

She was dating a guy for 4 years then(I know, ). It was her first serious relationship. She's super smart, like getting scholarships and a philosophical kinda smart, and a feminist to the core. Since the start of the relationship, He suggested that a relationship is a partnership, hence they should do everything 50:50. she used to have the mindset of "It makes sense to go in half of the bills because this isn't the 1960 anymore and many women are working now. It's not fair to the guy to pay all the bills". I loved her a lot, but it was one of the topics we both disagreed on that time.

I told her that everything wouldn't be exactly 50/50 as that's impossible, but her expectation was that it would be close. That also included housework as well.

Things became interesting when she and her boyfriend decided to rent a flat together.

They decided to split the bill and house chores. Even though at first he cooked, he stopped doing that as she began to learn how to cook soups from his tribe. There was a time when she lost her job at the beginning of buhari regime, so of course he had to pick up all the bills. She did all the cooking and housework and continued to look for a job because she felt it was the right thing to do. He would come home to a neat house, a hot meal but tired girlfriend. She eventually found another, but the pay was less.

However, he too lost his job about a year later and she was paying all the bills, there was almost no reciprocity. She would come home to a dirty house and no food. That was the time that she was working and going to courses to write her ACCA exams. Back then she would complain to me, since also was friends with the guy. She was so frustrated.



It became so bad that she had to resort to nagging when she got home and asked why the dishes were not done, he'd begin to do them while she would do other house chores....but he had all day to do them, . On a side note, she then began to fail her papers, and all he had was the audacity to say "Maybe you should find more time to study. She was making good grades when she was working and writing exams." All she kept telling me was, "IF HE HELPED AROUND THE HOUSE AND COOKED I WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO STUDY!!" Not only that, he had an online course, for 2 months which hardly count as full time But she didn't say anything.He eventually got another job though.

People suggested that she was emasculating him, so she said calmly tried talked to him about his lack of effort on several occasions but it didn't seem to matter although he agreed he'd do more.

He had a bad habit of starting chores and not finishing them (whether he had a job or not) and always had an excuse:

"I got distracted." "I'll get to it later." "I'm too busy"

It didn't help that family members were excusing his behavior. They claimed they always had to do his chores as he never finished them either, when they were kids. She didn't care about that. He wasn't a child anymore and that screamed lack of maturity.

She got so sick of it that she decided to be petty (she still regrets it). She didn't wash dishes for an entire month just to see how far it would go. Well, She only washed what she needed personally and left the rest. Surprisingly, he complained within a week. "The dishes haven't been done in a few days..." And she immediately proceeded to give most of the excuses he gave her the MULTIPLE times she confronted him about it during that month. He was pissed, but yet, only did the dishes a total of three times that month and had an attitude doing even that.

She ended up doing dishes again because she was tired of the state of the kitchen although it was only twice a week and that still wasn't enough for him.

Eventually, her new company was downsized and her salary was slashed. So she couldn't pay half like she used to. It was agreed that he'd pay rent and she'd pay the utilities and cable. Yeah...he eventually didn't like that anymore either.

He also started proposing marriage and wanting her to get pregnant before that and she said no. He asked why. She told him it was because It felt like she was doing most of everything. She did most of the cooking and cleaning still and having a baby would be more work for her. They had an argument about it. She honestly felt bad and thought maybe he would be a good dad but in any case, as if she didn't have enough red flags, this was the moment that confirmed 50/50 ideology was not working out for her. Just the thought of bringing a child into the world when she felt he wasn't even helping her or being supportive at that point was too much.

Eventually the relationship ended (I was the only happy one) . Her reasoning was because they weren't making each other happy and she couldn't take it anymore, and his was because she was a lazy woman who wasn't sacrificing for the relationship like he was (rolling my eyes at him).

She is in London today, doing her master's under a scholarship tuition free and all expenses paid. We still keep in touch. The guy is married. But he complains of how dirty his wife is. Ain't karma a bitch. The end.

Anyway, all that to say 50/50 is a scam. I feel like there are too many guys who proudly exclaim, "It's not 1950 anymore!" Or "It's 2020 now", but it obviously only applies to bills and NOT housework. They want the woman to still embrace her "gender role" 100% and do all the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing if a child or children are involved but also want the woman to step in HIS gender role as the provider and pay for half the bills as well. That's already 150% at least on her part while he's doing 50%

Also, I know that a financially well off man is not the only qualification because some will financially abuse women and I'm not advocating for complete dependency on a man either. All men have to be vetted the same in many areas no matter what.

Spits.