₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
There are loosely two models of handling roles and one is in discussion here.

1. Both provide and both do domestics
2. Hubby provide and wife do domestics.

And we are discussing model 2 here....

Caroline Danjuma is probably running model 2 and her husband provides so why is she in discussion here?

My question again is what is the use of a husband in model 2 who doesn't do domestics when he doesn't provide?

Going by your second model, if husband provides while wife does domestic chores, that means when husband can't provide, both man and wife are at home. If so, wife just continue with her domestic chores. She's been doing it so why stop? Nothing changes.

In another scenerio where the man provides while wife does domestic chores and still work at the same time and man could no longer provide, if she was doing domestic chores while working when the man was providing then she should still do both when the man no longer provides. Nothing changes about her "time". She still work the same hours so why does the man now have to join in domestic chores?

Let's take this scenerio as example;
Man provides , wife works and return home by 4pm and do her chores without complaint. Now husband no longer provides and wife still goes to work and return by the same 4pm, what's the big deal in her continuing with her chores when nothing changes about her? She still got the same time to do what she has always been doing so what help does she need? The man is not "useless" because his help is not even needed. If he offers it, fine and if not, she should just deal with it.

It's okay to talk about his "usefulness" only when the woman now have to work "EXTRA-TIME".

It's all about TIME.

crackhaus:
Yea, just like sweetcocoa that can make a man do anything

That one dey jonze herself. I believe she was joking anyways.

crackhaus:
[size=84pt]Na see finish[/size]
End of story!!!




God forbid that I or any reasonable man should ever depend on a woman/wife for anything in life...

This is just what you might be faced with:

Big Amen o.

Na guy wey dem fit use in head dem dey find. Alpha-males stultifies them

Call

enkaydewdrop:
Please mamas, does anyone want to/know anyone who wants to sell their car

We need a very clean sedan, preferably 2003/2004/2005 model.

A Toyota camry or Honda Accord won't be bad...
It's kinda urgent...

Thank you...

Ma'am, I have a Toyota Corolla and a LexusES300 for sale.

https://www.nairaland.com/3071979/super-clean-lexus-es300-sale

And

https://www.nairaland.com/3109513/toks-toyota-corolla-2004-model

Still available for sale

I have a LexusES300 for sale in Abeokuta for just 1.6million. Very clean with custome duty. Just landed from Cotonou.

Still available

bukatyne:
manly chores such as?

Nurturing himself and his wife is 'getting hands dirty'?

The issue is not the finance...

The issue is the time.

A couple with the roles thingy both go to work and the Wifey nurtures when they are back.... It is her role.

Unfortunately, hubby loses his job and is at home hunting for another one...

You still expect the wife to come back from work and nurture a man who was home all day?

What exactly do you expect him to do? Mop the floor, wash the plates shey?

Well, I'm not against any man that do these chores, what I'm against is the woman imposing such chores on a man. Its not going to happen. If he doesn't willingly do them, then that's the end of it. Why should he abdicate the woman of her primary role because he is home all day?

If she does her job so well, these things won't even pile up enough to be issue.

Will a woman like Caroline Danjuma expect Musa to do her job after clothing, housing and feeding her?. This whole chore thing becomes issue only when the man and the woman brings in almost the same thing to the table or the woman brings more. Y'all don't even have the gut to raise it when the man is the main provider in the home and you contribute zilch despite the fact that you work too.

delishpot:
Well then, tell him if things don't change, you may be forced to leave the marriage, cost you believe marriage is to be enjoyed in love and harmony and not endured. Make sure you let his family know what is going by on o. Because tomorrow now, they will stand with ness and say their son was not like you are portraying him to be. Instead of reporting him to your dad, call his mom and dad and ask them to please help you talk to him and inform your parents of the steps you are taking.
If after his family speak with him he still doesn't change then you decide what is beat for you. If you can sit there and endure as many naija men expect their women to do, then so be it.. . If you decide it's best to give him time to change while you focus on work and kids, then so be it. If you decide that it is just a passing phase and he would change then so be it. But what ever you do, don't act like a desperate woman, don't insult him or his family, don't push him to become aggressive and don't hit or hurt him. Marriage is not by force, if you can't endure leave, forget all what you sacrificed in the union same for him too. If it starts taking a violent dimension abeg RUN

All in all, since this is the first time it is happening, I would say he prolly is going through some shitty situation and it would serve you best if you let him n know that you are there for him but you are not going to be his emotional toy at this point in time. When he needs a shoulder to cry, be there when he starts kicking and throwing tantrums walkout and go do some chore or hobby. I hope and pray things return to normal soon

@ the bolded: what the hell is wrong with you? Wait, are you even married?

Tell me, what the hell in the post has warranted leaving marriage? Is this issue beyond reconciliation?, please, that's too extreme on this particular issue. Haba

bukatyne:
So the wife nurtures and provides while the husband does nothing?

What is his 'usefulness' at that point?

He protects the family and I can mention a million things a jobless man still does for the family. His predicament doesn't stop him from doing other "manly" chores or roles expected of him.

My question to you is, if the woman was doing her natural/primary role when the man was the main provider then what stops her from continuing with the primary role when situation changes for the man? Why does she now expect the man to get his hands dirty just because he no longer brings the cash?

The scenario you presented is when you know a well-bred, well-mannered woman from an uncultured and poorly bred one. The kinda woman that will throw the man's joblessness in his face. Women like Tiwa Savage.

bukatyne:
So a wife goes to work and comes back home to 'nurture' while the husband is at home?

A man with prospect is not expected to just sit at home. He's expected to be on the move looking for a way out of his joblessness.

If atall he sits at home, yes, the wife is still expected to do her primary role. If the man supports, fine and if he doesn't, well that's her cross to carry.

If she was doing her primary role when the man was the provider without complaint, then what stops her from continuing with the same role when the man becomes financially crippled?.

bukatyne:
If unfortunately the wife takes up the role of providing, what happens to her primary role?

What do you mean what happens to her primary role?

Well,

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

delightedgirl:
Your email address please

Use the PM button. I will reply.

delightedgirl:
I get you now. Please contact the hr

Send me a mail with a copy of your cv

Still very much available

Still available

shaybebaby:
Didn't realise I needed it.

You do.

It's cool seeing this part of you that I never knew existed. There is still hope, maybe you ain't all that damaged afterall.

I'm just seeing that thread for the first time and really, it's kinda hard to believe you have a shred of humanity in you. Someone who sees nothing wrong in a girl being raised by two gays, Daddy and Daddy.

Anyways, I forgive you completely.

delightedgirl:
Bros,please throw more light on the physical structure thing.

Tall atleast for a lady, pretty and presentable i.e with a good dress sense.

delightedgirl:
Hello Bolade,
I am fit for the job. I am presently training professionally on customer service and call care agent.notify me if the post is still vacant let's talk more.thanks

It is still available. If you know you fit in, I will tell the HR to invite you.

Pls do note, the physical structure is really important.

Available

Femsyn:
I see this car everyday on Abiola Way, in front of a filling station. Seller is the real deal. Buy if you can.

Exactly bro. You get eyes for good things o bro

Still available

It can't go for less sir.

Make your call for this beauty.

Location: Abeokuta
Type of Car: Toyota Corolla
Model: 2004
Price: 1.55m
Very neat.

Pls call 07059828943 for more details and inspection. Thanks

For sale

Still going

Still available

sweetcocoa:
I never knew your name na 'them'.

All right.

sweetcocoa:
If you no care, why not face front? Anybody call you? Amebo.

[quote author=sweetcocoa post=45625917]Let them die finish, na them sabi.

It became my business, no, our business when you typed that sh1t.