₦airaland Forum

dechandel:
So you are Federal product.
Your papa do well

...hehe. The boys had to become Rambo. The girls were treated like Royalty . Where did daddy throw you to ?

icebebe:
yimu

Creamish:
**singing*** " everybody luvs Kung-fu fighting "

dechandel:
Hehehhe
You know,you aint the first to make that statement about my peeps kushing
And i've never asked. So i think i might just agree with you. E be like say dey kush tire that day o

.. dey had to kush the very dried one... In his words to madam in ibo 'sh*t just got real'

major466:
In a world growing with violence on a daily basis. The need for self protection becomes very paramount, especially for ladies who are usually vulnerable.
Below is a pictorial display of how ladies can defend themselves from possible violent attacks.

https://s5.postimg.org/q3jwg4o8n/1421664919736.jpg
Step 1. Stand your ground. Show no fear.
Step 2. Hold your position and lower yourself below the attacker's chin.
Step 3. Make a surprise thrust with your head on his jaw area. This will disorient him into confusion.
Step4. Consolidate and take advantage of the confusion on the attacker with a nice knee kick on his balls. This will make him lose control.
Step 5. Keep on the offensive by giving the attacker a knock on the back with your elbow.
Step 6. Triple it up with a kick on the attacker's heard as he skampars for breadth.
Step 7. This time your attacker falls on the ground gasping in pains, but don't let go yet. Give him a leg kick to prevent surprise offensive from the attacker.
Step 8. Now your attacker is completely subdued. You may finish him up with kick on his arms and back.

Disclaimer: This is advisable only in life threatening situation. Don't practice this on your husband.

dechandel:

Bikozienu. I have had enough laugh for today

Go dig someone's grave na

...u just f**king weird.. They really had to smoke some during your creation. Please tell him the grave to dig/grave number..or he could simply watch Crime Investigation to see how bodies are exhumed..

twerkjack:
SEX IS IMPORTANT...., TRUST ME I KNOW

...Preach girl.. They don't know.

dechandel:

...Am watching you

Frankaka8:
I smh hearing people use the word ugly to people especially we guys to ladies(either due to frustration of not wooing her or mere making jest for fun). For the umpteemth time, NO ONE i repeat NO ONE is ugly, as u mock the maker (GOD) if u admit it. We are unique and special in our own way. Pls dnt spew dat word "ugly or wur wur " unnecessary on people especially to ladies, and pls don't misquote me dear nairalanders... Dats my own piece of cake. Cheers!

emusmith:
I choose to use the word "Girl" instead of "Ladies" because I suppose that the later should know better, but unfortunately it's not always so.

A Typical Nigerian Girl is one who swallow hook, line and sinker everything she watches from Home videos, Hollywood and Telemundos...

Her role models are stars who has no good record when it comes to chastity and morals. Better put, Stars with indecent records...

I know some of these are common with ladies all over the world but most are unique to us here... Our brain is too much


Seven Wonders Of A Typical Nigerian Girl...


1. She asks you to borrow her money that she knows you wouldn't ask her to refund.

Their new style is "Borrow me, I'll pay back", How you wan take pay back na? You ain't working, How? I prefer to just freely give than to expect ANY lady to pay back! Hmmmm...
They don't ask too much because that might not be feasible. She may request around #3000 to #5000... Is it wrong to "beg" money? No! But, must you beg sef? Some girls are just too "BIG EYED". If your parents don't have it, don't go about begging! You will soon begin to open your legs for it! It's just plain Discontentment!



2. They Want To Trap A Guy With Pregnancy Just Because Of Marriage.


This school of thought is same with even the so called "Learned" ladies...It's a pity because he will NEVER love you which is actually why you want to trap him. Abstinence from Pre-marital sex is just the solution. You see a small looking girl and her appearance is like that of an old woman! SMH! Beaten and Battered! Even three bras put together can't lift it up...



3. She Spends Her Youthful Days Flexing And Partying And Her Pre-Thirty Years Praying And Searching


To whom it may concern:
You and church are far apart now... you spend every weekend in your boyfriend's house...he cheats on you and you're back to Square One...Going to church more than ever...Joined Choir or Usher (where guys will notice you). But, they're not... Do you have to go through all that?



4. She Believes She Can Transform A Guy, with what??


The fact you have nice curves and all doesn't make other girls not to have them.
Trying to change a guy (anyone at all) doesn't work except on movies and novels.
In fact, the only way to change him is to stand your ground! He wants sex before marriage? You give him and automatically and immediately he loses respect for you! ZERO TRUST for you till Jesus comes!



5. Jack Of All Trades Master Of None


I dunno what's so cool about dating different guys when you know you truly love just one!
I am talking about Multi-dating.
It's so common now especially with the invent of social networks like bbm, Facebook, whatsapp, badoo, 2go etc.
If he tells you He loves You and wants to marry , stop freaking out- think Future, Get to really know him. Flirting is a dangerous game!



6. Suffocating Her Dreams For A Rich Dude...


I was interacting with a Typical Nigerian girl one time and we discussed along these lines. Her comment about a friend of hers was "She was lucky, she just married a rich man, and me too I also want the same .." (i know she spends half of her day with junks over the TV) It is disheartening that most girls (at this age) just wants a man that will buy even toothbrush for them...Their plan is to enter into marriage with nothing but "Ghana Must Go" Haba! Even their dreams and aspirations can go to blazes if only they can find that guy... Since she left University, when was the last time she read a book? Hmm!



7. Adding No Mental Value To Themselves.

Continuing from Point 6, reading flies away from her dictionary after university! She feels relieved after school. Instead, she prefers to spend 6 hours in her friend's house talking from flats to grants, the whole day at the saloon or two days in front of the TV watching the Kardashians and Home Videos... Nothing to do to add to her mental capacity! Such ones wants to marry The Smart Ones to complement for their inadequacies! That she could do something about! Now that a child's intelligence taps 80% from the mum nko! hmm...


This is a Wake Up Call...Not A Bashing Thread, as it were...

Don't take it too personal...

Do something today, your children can really thank you for tomorrow!

A wise woman builds her house. A foolish one plucks it down!
IT STARTS NOW, not then!

...You miss Nairaland for some few days, and you just know something is going on

voltron:
Who be dis? there is a youth ambassador for everything now.. LOYA Mik Youth Ambassador, ORIJIN youth Ambassador, Missing Certificate Ambassador... Na waooo

dechandel:
250,000

Just get the address of where he clubs. Leave the rest to meee

zeezahbee:
Don't wake me up- Chris brown

..Keep Sleeping...

naijaboiy:
Omo chelsea don score o

Up costa

wo1F:
Haha. This man! What other things?

dechandel:
Vigil? Church of Assumption holds a vigil every friday. Dress up and leave. You'd still meet the deliverance session

I've never clubbed o
Daddy's girl dont club na

dechandel:
T.G.I.F right?
Shouldnt you be somewhere other than your bed? Maybe a vigil ground or a club?

Yesh. Chickens do sleep early. You are welcome

Yeah!!... A vigil would be great, ages I attended one. No club this year...would club on my bed . Daddy's girl goes to a club. I should be the one asking you.

wo1F:
I like your eyes.

... We like the eyes..and other things 'on the face'..

dechandel:
I am not a chicken. I dont sleep that early
Suprised to see you online at this time . Whats still keeping you up?

.. Sleep failed me . It is the weekend, I could slot my sleep somewhere between now and Sunday... but my morning jog would suffer. Never knew chicken sleep early

dechandel:
Charms? Pros. Also use charms to gather enough customers
A runs girl is also found in a club. Infact na there be there base. Guys pick them and off they go the next day. With their cash in hand!!
So i see no difference between those two. Its different words with same meaningOgini?

.....Bedtime lady...enough said..

Bilany:
One republic - I lived