₦airaland Forum

Are You Flourishing? (3)

Fri, 9 Jun 2023

‘The one who loves his life will lose it, and the one who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.’ John 12:25

Here are two more areas in which God created you to flourish: 1) Your relationships. Relationally, your languishing self is often troubled. You’re undisciplined in what you say, sometimes reverting to sarcasm, gossip and flattery. You isolate. You dominate. You attack. You withdraw. Whereas your flourishing self seeks to bless others. They energise you. You’re able to disclose your thoughts and feelings in a way that invites openness in them. You’re quick to admit your own mistakes and to freely forgive others. 2) Your experiences. God grows you because He wants to use you in His plans to redeem His world: that’s why you find Him changing your experiences. Your flourishing self has the desire to contribute. You live with a sense of calling. Indeed, your inner longing to become all you were meant to be is a tiny echo of God’s longing to begin the new creation. The rabbis spoke of this as tikkun olam – to repair the world. Focused on yourself, your life is as small as a grain of wheat. Given to God, however, it’s as if that grain is planted in rich soil, growing into part of a much bigger project. Jesus said: ‘"Truly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains by itself; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. The one who loves his life will lose it, and the one who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”’ (John 12:24-25 CSB)

Billionaire2:
What is happening to elderly people??

How many R I P today?

if they have to die, they have to.....God have a perfect time for everyone to go. The most important thing is to be prepared. 🤷

Are You Flourishing? (2)

Thu, 8 Jun 2023

‘They will flourish in the courts of our God.’ Psalm 92:13

Inside you, there’s a battle between your flourishing self – the person you were created to be – and your languishing self. ‘What’s that?’ you ask. Your languishing self feels uneasy and discontent. You’re drawn to bad habits like mindlessly watching TV, drinking too much, misusing sex, or excessive spending – things designed to temporarily anaesthetise pain. Your thoughts automatically drift in the direction of fear and anger. Learning doesn’t feel worthwhile. You think about yourself most of the time. Whereas flourishing takes place: 1) In your spirit. You sense you’re beginning to receive ideas and energy from an outside source. And you are. You’re being empowered by God’s Spirit. We talk about being inspired, which literally means ‘God breathed’. God breathes into you; you come alive and feel like you have a purpose for living.

2) In your mind. Your thoughts are marked by joy and peace. You have the desire to love and to learn. You’re literally being transformed by ‘...the renewing of your mind’ (Romans 12:2 NIV). 3) In your time. You wake each day with a sense of excitement, and you realise you’re never too young to flourish. Mozart was composing brilliant music when he was five. Paul told Timothy, ‘Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young...’ (1 Timothy 4:12 NIV). You also realise you’re never too old to flourish. Grandma Moses was in her mid-seventies when she took up painting, and artist Marc Chagall did some of his best work in his nineties. It’s humbling to acknowledge you can’t be anything you want. But once you accept that and seek to maximise what God created you to be, you start flourishing.

Truthsoldier:
Ewa is beans nah

O su mii ooo 🤷

Are You Flourishing? (1)

Wed, 7 Jun 2023

‘It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves’ Psalms 100:3

Do you need motivation today? Take a look at the palm tree. 1) You can cut it, but you can't kill it! The minerals and nutrients most trees need to survive are found on the surface, just below the bark, so, when you cut them, they die. But not the palm tree. Its life comes from within, so it flourishes, even under attack. Listen: '... we have this treasure in earthen vessels...' (2 Corinthians 4:7 NKJV). How wonderful; even though the earthen vessel without may be cut and wounded, the treasure within is secure, beyond the enemy's reach! 2) It will bend, but it won't break. Tropical winds can blow most trees away, but not the palm tree. The stronger the wind, the further it bends - sometimes all the way to the ground. Yet when the storm ceases, it straightens up again and is actually stronger in the place where it bent. What a picture! We were made to bend, but not break. ‘being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, so that you may have great endurance...' (Colossians 1:11 CSB). 3) Its depth always exceeds its height! While the roots of the average plant go only a few feet under the ground, the palm tree's roots can go down hundreds of yards in search of water. David said, 'As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God' (Psalm 42:1 NIV). Go deep, work on your own connection to God and you'll never be uprooted or barren or blown away!

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Tue, 6 Jun 2023

‘While he was still speaking, a rooster crowed.’ Luke 22:60

The Bible says: ‘... while he was still speaking, a rooster crowed… the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, “Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly’ (Luke 22:60-62 NASB). Before God entrusts you with a great assignment, He will permit Satan to test you. Why? To reveal your weaknesses and strengthen you in those areas. God will allow you to fail in a smaller sphere to keep you from messing up in a larger one, hurting not only yourself but others too. One of the wonders of the Christian life is that Jesus can take rubble and build something beautiful out of it. Peter promised never to deny Jesus, but by the time the rooster crowed, he had already done it three times. Repeated failure! Can you relate? You said you wouldn’t lose your temper, but you did. Cock-a-doodle-doo! You said you wouldn’t give in to temptation, but you did. Cock-a-doodle-doo! When does a rooster crow? Early in the morning. Good news! That means the rooster announces the beginning of a brand-new day. After his worst night of failure, the sun came up for Peter. And it will come up for you too. By God’s grace, you can start your life over any day you choose to. Today you can repent of your sin and go on to do great things for the Lord. Peter ended up winning multitudes to Christ and leading the church. So no matter how badly you have failed, God will forgive you, restore you, and redirect your steps.

Benfaco:
The love of God for us


John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.


When Adam sinned, he lost the direct access he initially had with God. (Genesis 3) God decided to send his only begotten son (Jesus) to pay the price for our sins on the cross of calvary because of his love for us. When Christ resurrected, he restored all privileges that we once had and brought redemption to us all. All we need is to believe that he died for our sin and has once again granted us direct access with God. No longer through an intermediary! (Mathew 27:50-53).

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

If our earthly parents care so much for us, how much more our father in heaven! (Luke 11:11-13). God’s love for us is infinite. He has promised to supply all our needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philipians 4:19).


Prayer of Salvation

Lord Jesus, I accept and acknowledge you as my personal lord and savior. I sincerely ask that you forgive my sins. Come into my life and pour out your spirit on me. By faith, I receive the promise of the father, which is the holy spirit. (John 14:16) I thank you for the price that you paid for me on the cross of calvary. Thank you for my redemption. I pray that your power, grace and favor will abide with me now and forever more. Amen.

Amen in Jesus name 🙏.

Such is your prayer if you want Christ to come into your life. There's no other 2 ways, except accepting HIM to be your personal saviour.

Today God is calling you (3)

Mon, 5 Jun 2023

‘I have prayed for you, that your faith will not fail.’ Luke 22:32

God wants you to do His will, but you’ll never reach the place of spiritual maturity in which you’re free of Satan. You can overcome him, but you can’t eliminate him. Look at Peter. He had only one gear: overdrive. He was always in the middle of everything that was going on, but he wasn’t always on top of things. The man who ended up leading the church first denied being a disciple of Jesus. Pretty shocking, eh? But nothing about us surprises God. He doesn’t call you and say, ‘I hope you’re the right person.’ No; Jesus told Peter, ‘...Satan has demanded to sift you…like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith will not fail ...’ (Luke 22:31-32 NASB). Isn’t that an amazing revelation? Even when you don’t know how to pray for yourself, Jesus is praying for you. ‘... He ever lives to make intercession for them’ (Hebrews 7:25 NKJV). Jesus told Peter, ‘... when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers’ (Luke 22:32 NASB). Out of the mess you’re in today can come a ministry to others. Not only can God turn your life around, He can use you to turn the lives of others around too. And one more thing: God isn’t apt to think you’re worth sifting if you aren’t doing something right in the first place. Sifting is a method of purifying, of straining out the debris and refining what remains. That means there had to be something worth salvaging in you at the outset. Today God is calling you. Don’t waste another moment; surrender your life to Him.

Good luck to them. But for the fuel subsidy......No going back!!! 😁😁😁

SILVERLINES:


Abokis are nowhere to be found as usual

They are good in banditry and terrorism

trouble starter.......😁

Customer dada nii Atiku. Same court case with Buhari during his 8 years reign. He knows how to wait, let him just relax and be running his funds at the court.
I will advice Atiku & Obi should sort the 2nd & 3rd out first before reclaiming any mandate.
Awon Oniyeye! 😁😁😁

Today God is calling you (2)

Sun, 4 Jun 2023

‘Before you were born I sanctified you.’ Jeremiah 1:5

The word sanctified means to be set apart for the exclusive use of. The word ordained means ordered according to a plan. Here are two things you need to know: God doesn’t waste anything He created, and He doesn’t waste anything He can use. Before you were saved, God permitted experiences, both good and bad, that were equipping you for what He had in mind. That includes who your parents were, the places they came from, where you were educated, the number of years you spent in school, the jobs you held, and the training you received. It also includes things God put inside you at the time of your birth, even though some of those things may have seemed to work against you while you were growing up. Do you hold on to ideas like a pit bull? God can use that. Do you enjoy poring through books and researching? God can use that. Are you quick to confront, excited to run right at the enemy? God can use that. Today you may feel like you’re in the wrong place, doing the wrong things, with the wrong people. You may be wondering how you’re going to dig yourself out of the hole or turn your life around. And truthfully, the answer may be that you can’t. But God can! He makes miracles out of mistakes. So, give Him the things in your life that aren’t so good, the things you’re not proud of, and say, ‘Lord, here they are. I wish my life was different, but it’s not. I wish I could change it, but I can’t.’ Then let God go to work.

L'obatan 🤷

......this cause for a serious investigation. And a lot of heads must roll.

I pray for the family of the victims. 😢

Today God is calling you (1)

Sat, 3 Jun 2023

‘Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle.’ Romans 1:1

God reached into a part of Paul’s background that had been formed before he became a Christian, and He found some very useful things there. And they weren’t all spiritual things. They were also academic and cultural. Even though Paul seemed unqualified because of his monumental hatred for Christians, his background actually qualified him in a unique way. As a former Pharisee, he understood the Scriptures and the mindset of those who would oppose him. And his former spiritual blindness gave him compassion for the lost. God used both the good and the bad experiences in Paul’s life. And He can do the same for you too! Think about it: when God looked for a man to be an early leader in His church, to write down the theology of His church, to debate religious leaders who argued against His church, to advance the cause of Christ in academic and social arenas, to carry the message all the way from the lowest person on the street to the throne of Caesar, God found a man who already had the necessary qualifications – and that man was Paul. Here is how God works: first He seeks you out, then He prepares you, then He positions you, and then He empowers you to do what He knows you can do most effectively. And God’s call is the only thing that will make you completely happy, although you don’t always know that in advance. So, is God calling you? Is He preparing you? Is He positioning you? Is He empowering you? Your highest level of joy and fulfilment in life will come when you surrender to Him and say yes.

Your position and your condition

Fri, 2 Jun 2023

‘Having now been justified by His blood …’ Romans 5:9

The Bible says: ‘But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. ...And not only this, but we also celebrate in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.’ (Romans 5:8-9, 11 NASB). God loves and accepts you just as you are. And it gets better. He sees you as blameless. How? ‘God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God’ (2 Corinthians 5:21 NIV). Note the words ‘in Him’. Imagine yourself placing a letter in an envelope, then sealing it. No longer can you see the letter or read its contents because it’s ‘in’ the envelope. Getting the idea? Always remember there is a difference between your position and your condition. When you put your trust in Christ, you’re positioned before God as being righteous. You say, ‘But what about my condition? I still fail.’ The job of the indwelling Holy Spirit is to bring your condition up to the level of your position. ‘... And the Lord – who is the Spirit – makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image’ (2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT). How does the Holy Spirit do this? He draws you back to the place of repentance where you are cleansed. Notice, your position in Christ doesn’t change, but your condition is constantly changing as you become more like Christ.

What can I do?

Thu, 1 Jun 2023

‘To set at liberty those who are oppressed’ Luke 4:18

The United Nations estimates that as many as 2 million children and young people are exploited in the worldwide sex trade every year – that’s four every minute. Can you imagine what the governments of the world would do if a city of two million people was taken captive and exploited and abused every day? If you think that’s bad, here is a statistic that should break your heart and bring you to your knees: only 1 per cent of those who are abducted into the sex trade are being rescued from it! You say, ‘What about the other 99 per cent?’ When they get too old to have value to their pimps, or too sick to work or become pregnant, or diseased, they’re thrown away like rubbish. These are the ‘walking wounded’ who carry emotional and mental scars and struggle with the effects for the rest of their lives. Perhaps you’re thinking, ‘It’s sad, and it’s shocking, but thank God it’s not my children or grandchildren.’ Thank God, indeed! But as a redeemed child of God, you have a responsibility to care about it. Jesus said He came to ‘... heal the broken-hearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives…To set at liberty those who are oppressed’ (Luke 4:18 NKJV). That means instead of avoiding the problem, you must become aware, alarmed, and activated. Only when enough people speak up do politicians start to act. So speak up! Start praying about it. Support ministries that are involved in it. That way, you will be able to stand before God one day and say, ‘Lord, I did what I could about it!’

Prepare in advance

Wed, 31 May 2023

‘Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies…’ Daniel 1:8

Are you continuing to do things you don’t want to do and indulge in thoughts that lead you astray? Are you being constantly overcome by the same old temptations? Here is the bad news: the new birth doesn’t do away with your old nature; it actually intensifies the struggle between your flesh and your spirit. Here is the good news: you can live victoriously! How? 1) Through prayer. Jesus told His disciples, ‘“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”’ (Matthew 26:41 NKJV). If you’re tired of praying for forgiveness after you have failed, start praying before the temptation comes. No, you can’t pray temptation away, but you can prepare yourself in advance to overcome it. And if you need help, call in reinforcements. Find someone who knows how to stand with you in prayer. The Bible says, ‘Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labour’ (Ecclesiastes 4:9 NKJV). 2) By making up your mind. ‘But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s delicacies…’ The way to subdue your impulses is by activating your will – in advance. When you do that, God empowers you by His Spirit. Where did Daniel’s strength of purpose come from? God. He prayed three times every day (see Daniel 6:10). Don’t set yourself up for failure; keep yourself out of harm’s way. When Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce Joseph, he ‘... fled and ran outside’ (Genesis 39:12 NKJV). Both Joseph and Daniel had prayed and made up their mind about what they would do before temptation came knocking. You must do that too.

Refuse to live in fear (4)

Tue, 30 May 2023

‘If God is for us, who can be against us?’ Romans 8:31

To overcome fear, you must believe that God is with you. It’s the key to your ability to obey what He tells you to do. As you become confident that He is with you, your fear will lessen. When David volunteered to fight Goliath, King Saul said to him, ‘... You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him for you are a youth, and he a man of war from his youth’ (1 Samuel 17:33 NKJV). David replied, ‘...The LORD…will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine’ (1 Samuel 17:37 NKJV). You’re not in this battle alone; the Lord is with you. When you’re convinced of that, your fear will subside. You may not always know what God will do, but you can relax in knowing He will do what needs to be done at the right time. When you think about the future and all the things that are unknown to you, it’s easy to feel afraid. But you can view it two ways. You can either be pessimistic and fearful, or you can say to yourself, ‘The battle is the Lord’s, and He has never lost a battle!’ You may not always know what to do in a tense situation, but God does. He knows everything prior to it happening, and He has planned your deliverance in advance. Just put one foot in front of the other, confident that He is guiding you. You don’t have to see God or feel Him in order to believe that He is with you. Faith is a matter of the heart instead of the natural senses. God is with you! Believe it and refuse to live in fear.

Refuse to live in fear (3)

Mon, 29 May 2023

‘Perfect love casts out fear.’ 1 John 4:18

When God says, ‘Fear not,’ He is basically telling you, ‘You’re going to have to deal with fear, but you can conquer it. You can act in spite of it.’ The Bible says, ‘... perfect love casts out fear.’ Sometimes we mistakenly think that Scripture means if we love God perfectly enough, we won’t be afraid. No, the only perfect love is God’s love for you. And it’s unconditional. Knowing that He always loves you, walks with you, defends you, supports you, and has promised to bless you in all that you do is what casts out your fear. And it does one more thing: it strengthens your faith. ‘But without faith it is impossible to please Him ...’ (Hebrews 11:6 KJV). When you know that God is pleased with you, you begin to rise above your fears. When fear knocks on your door and finds you full of faith, it cannot enter. That’s why you need to meditate continually on God’s Word and let your conversation be filled with faith. If you’re used to allowing your mind to go everywhere it pleases, meditating on God’s Word will require making a new habit. Don’t become discouraged if you discover you have good intentions but many failures. The Bible says, ‘... we walk by faith ...’ (2 Corinthians 5:7 NKJV). How did you learn to walk? By getting up one more time than you fell down until you finally did it. When you set your mind to speaking fear-defying words of faith, the Holy Spirit will come to your aid and strengthen you. As one minister says, ‘Courage is not the absence of fear, it is progress in its presence.’So just keep progressing, and you will get there!

Refuse to live in fear (2)

Sun, 28 May 2023

‘The LORD is on my side; I will not fear.’ Psalm 118:6

God has created you for a life of growth, adventure, and acceleration. But you must take bold steps of faith. And you can’t do that if you’re perfectly satisfied to live in the safe zone. Even when you feel afraid, don’t let it stop you! Feel the fear and do it anyway! You say, ‘Will I ever stop being afraid?’ Yes, when you get to heaven. Feeling fear is part of being alive. You will experience fear when you try something for the first time, or when the obstacles in your path seem insurmountable, or when you feel like your resources are not equal to the challenge. None of this means you’re a coward; it just means you’re human. Feeling fear is merely the temptation to flee from what you should confront. Feeling fear is not the same as being afraid, because being afraid means allowing fearful feelings to take control of you. But you don’t have to. You can feel anger yet choose not to act on it, and instead respond with forgiveness and love. In the same way, you can feel fear and not let it make your decisions. ‘For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”’ So we may boldly say: ‘The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’ (Hebrews 13:5-6 NKJV). Note those two phrases: ‘He … has said’ and ‘we may boldly say’. So, stand on God’s Word today and declare, ‘I will not live in fear.’

Refuse to live in fear (1)

Sat, 27 May 2023

‘Fear involves torment.’ 1 John 4:18

Advice columnist Ann Landers received about ten thousand letters every month. When asked to name the most common problem in her readers’ lives, she said, ‘Fear! People are afraid of losing their health, their wealth, and their loved ones. People are afraid of life itself.’ If you allow it to, fear will control you. Fear involves torment, and until the power of fear is broken, it will keep tormenting you. When fear rules your life, you cannot enjoy anything you do. And you certainly can’t enjoy God’s blessings. Dr Caroline Leaf says that fear triggers ‘more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses and activates more than thirty different hormones and neurotransmitters.’ It’s at the root of all our stress. When fear causes a chronic stress reaction in us, it actually marinates our body in chemicals that can be harmful in large amounts. This, of course, is terribly unhealthy and threatening to our physical well-being. The fear of not being accepted by others can make you develop a phony personality, stifling your true self and hiding who God made you to be. The fear of failure will prevent you from trying new things or stretching yourself to do more than you feel comfortable doing. The fear of the future can cause you not to enjoy your life today. Fear is a spirit, and it doesn’t come from God. ‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind’ (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV). Reject the spirit of fear. Draw on God’s power, believe He loves you unconditionally, and begin to exercise the sound mind He has given you. Today, refuse to live in fear.

Start saying, ‘I can.’

Fri, 26 May 2023

‘Many are they who say of me, “There is no help.”’ Psalm 3:2

Maybe you have repeatedly heard the words ‘You can’t’ throughout your life. Many people like to tell others what they cannot do. Even people you wouldn’t automatically consider to be against you – teachers, coaches, parents, family members, friends, and leaders of church groups or social events, who often fail to realise the power of their words over young lives. Many of us grew up thinking, ‘I can’t,’ when that wasn’t true at all! No matter how often you have heard someone say, ‘You can’t,’ stand on God’s Word and say, ‘Yes, I can!’ Miracles come in ‘cans’ – our belief that we can do everything we need to do through Christ who is our strength (see Philippians 4:13). God believes in you, and now is the time for you to believe in yourself. This is a new day! Put the past and all its disheartening remarks behind you. Words that speak of failure come from the Enemy, not God, so determine right now not to allow the power of ‘you can’t’ to affect you any longer. In contrast to the Enemy, God’s Spirit encourages you and will do everything to urge you forward towards success in all areas of life. Facing the challenges of the promised land, God told Joshua three times, ‘Be strong and of good courage ...’ (Joshua 1:9 NKJV). Always remember that if you feel discouraged, it’s from the devil. And that if you feel encouraged, it’s from God. Decide to agree with God and say to yourself, ‘I can!’ Today let the power of God’s Word dominate the power of every negative word that has ever been spoken to you or about you.

Depend more on God

Thu, 25 May 2023

‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ 2 Corinthians 12:9

The secret of being able to do what you need to do is in realising that you cannot do it alone; you can only do it through God’s empowering grace. God said to Paul, ‘My grace is sufficient for you,’ and the word grace includes all of God you will ever need for whatever you face in life. What a promise! Sometimes we think we have to do it all. We forget that the power of Christ works through us, so we’re defeated before we even begin. ‘For we are labourers together with God’ (1 Corinthians 3:9 KJV). We can’t do God’s part, and He won’t do our part. He wants us to follow His leading, but He insists that we depend on Him every step of the way. This is hard on our ego, which says, ‘I can do it myself!’ Sometimes we have to be beaten into the ground before we let go of this kind of thinking. Knowing that we have certain gifts and talents, we make the mistake of assuming we can use them to succeed in our own strength. No, unless God’s grace is operating through your gift, you won’t be adequate to the challenge. The Bible says, ‘We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us’ (Romans 12:6 NIV). Grace is like electricity; in order for it to function effectively, you must stay plugged in. Jesus said: ‘No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me … apart from me you can do nothing’ (John 15:4-5 NIV). So, depend more on God.

Which kind wahala be this again now? 🤷

Through Christ, you can do it

Wed, 24 May 2023

‘I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.’ Philippians 4:13

Paul writes: ‘I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.’ (Philippians 4:13 NASB). Paul believed he could handle whatever life threw at him. Do you believe that too? What are the things that trigger your fear and cause you to say, ‘I could never do that’? Suddenly losing a loved one? Facing an unexpected illness? Having your adult child with two toddlers move into your fastidiously clean and tranquil house after you have had an empty nest for years? Going on a stringent diet because your life depends on it? Putting yourself on a budget to prevent repossession of your home? Suddenly having to take care of a disabled, elderly parent? Most people have some sort of situation that truly seems impossible to them, something they are unsure they can handle. The truth is, while some situations may be extremely undesirable or challenging for you, God says you can do whatever you need to do in life. He doesn’t say everything will be simple for you; He doesn’t promise you will enjoy every little thing you do but that you can enjoy life in the middle of doing them. How? Through the power of the One ‘Who infuses inner strength into you’. When you need money, you make a withdrawal from your bank account. When your car is empty, you make a withdrawal from the petrol pump. So when life gets overwhelming, pray and make a withdrawal on God’s grace, love, strength, power, and guidance.

🤔

Rebuilding your marriage (4)

Tue, 23 May 2023

‘Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it.’ Song of Solomon 8:7

You must be open with one another. You must be transparent, sensitive, responsive, and willing to trust one another. Stop and think about how you feel when the doctor is about to give you an injection. Your first reaction is to tighten up, right? Similarly, our hearts naturally tighten up after the pain of rejection, betrayal, or neglect. It’s a reflex mechanism in the soul, a way we protect ourselves subconsciously. And it’s a great attribute anywhere else except in marriage. If you don’t turn off this mechanism, you will close off your soul. This is the state where you love the person, and still come home to them every night, but you are braced, apprehensive, and no longer present in the moment. You have closed yourself off for fear of disappointment and hurt. Marriage is an open covenant consummated by physical intimacy, which removes all barriers and celebrates the joy of having nothing between the two of you. And it’s difficult to attain and maintain such intimacy both emotionally and physically if you have experienced betrayal and disappointment. But there is good news. The central theme of the Bible is resurrection; that which is dead can live again. So if you have lost the closeness, you can get it back if you are willing to relax your soul and open your heart towards the other person. Solomon writes, ‘Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it’ (Song of Solomon 8:6-7 NLT). If you seek God’s help and you are willing to work at it, you can rekindle your love and rebuild your marriage.

Rebuilding your marriage (3)

Mon, 22 May 2023

‘Unless the LORD builds the house, they labour in vain who build it.’ Psalm 127:1

You must be willing to forgive the other person. Loving someone makes you vulnerable. When you give someone your heart, they can break it. A stranger or casual acquaintance could say something that would roll off you like water off a duck’s back. But when your mate says the same thing to you, it can stir up feelings of anger and resentment. No one stays married to anyone without some forgiveness involved. Think about it: your relationship with God involves needing, asking for, and receiving His forgiveness. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught us to say: ‘Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.’ Then He explained, ‘For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you’ (Matthew 6:12, 14 NKJV). The word ‘trespass’ not only means ‘sin’ it also means ‘going where you have no right to go’. And we do that to each other in marriage. Familiarity breeds contempt. When you feel continually taken for granted by your mate, it can build up and explode into an argument. Trespassing includes infidelity, among other things. If you don’t practise forgiveness in little things, it makes it much harder to extend and receive grace during a crisis . (However, if you are at risk in a relationship, it’s important to get help and be safe.) The art of forgiveness requires letting go of perfection and performance and grasping hold of grace and gratitude. When the Bible says that a man must leave his father and mother (including his culture, background, and family language) and be joined to his wife (developing a new culture, background, and family language), they begin to bond together and become one (see Matthew 19:5). But this bonding takes a lot of time and work. It also calls for focusing on what’s good in your mate and forgiving the rest.

Rebuilding your marriage (2)

Sun, 21 May 2023

‘Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church.’ Ephesians 5:25

Second, you must listen to each other. This requires time, patience, and focused attention. Too many couples give each other a monologue without leaving room for genuine dialogue. This is where marriage counselling is effective. It forces both of you to slow down, interpret your spouse’s language, understand their feelings, and discover their needs. When a marriage breaks down, couples are often so busy trying to get their own point across and win the fight that they don’t listen for solutions and places of negotiation. Divorce would be less common if we would listen with open hearts rather than closed minds. Jesus pointed out that the law of Moses permitted divorce ‘because of the hardness of your hearts’ (Matthew 19:8 KJV). This means their hearts would not melt to the level of understanding and place of negotiation for the relationship to work. Some couples find it simpler to write each other letters revealing their feelings as they relearn how to communicate at a deeper level. Counsellors and marriage enrichment seminars use this technique, and sometimes it works wonders. By putting your feelings down on paper before expressing them, you get to ask yourself, ‘Is this how I really feel? Is this how I want to express my feelings? Am I saying too much? Or too little?’ Unloading on your mate may be a catharsis for you, but what if it buries them? These are some of the questions you must ask in order to rebuild your marriage. And if you both pray and keep your hearts open, God will help you to do it.

Wealth

Rebuilding your marriage (1)

Sat, 20 May 2023

‘The winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell.’ Matthew 7:27

Today about 50 per cent of all new marriages end in divorce. Sadly, that’s true whether you’re a Christian or not. Sometimes the reasons are circumstantial, such as a redundancy or a home repossession. Other times it’s relational, such as a betrayal of trust or an addiction to drugs and alcohol. There are times when separation is a necessary option, but if you’re committed to rebuilding your marriage, you must learn how to reconnect and work to restore what you once had. In order to accomplish this, you must both be willing to enter into the process and commit for the long haul. For the next few days, let’s look at four key areas. First, you must know the other person. It’s a mistake to try and figure out your spouse, put them in a box, and label them for the remainder of their lives. Knowing someone is an art in progress, not a static science with unchangeable data. You must view your mate as a mystery who requires ongoing scrutiny and lifelong learning. The Bible says, ‘Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way’ (1 Peter 3:7 CSB). In order to restore your marriage, take a new look at your partner. They may not be who you assumed they were – but neither are you. So you must allow room for each of you to evolve and resolve! And be sure to include God in the process. Jesus said that a house built on the solid foundation of God’s Word would stand strong in the storm while others around it are falling apart (see Matthew 7:24-27). So today, begin the process by recommitting to God – and each other.