₦airaland Forum

The mods haven't seen this one oh,but if a private jet was involved it wld av dissapeared to front page.God bless you more tb joshua.

Who do you think looked more gorgeous in this attire?

Okay

Mtchewwww.rubbish.will it wake sola saraki's dead body

I heard NCC is banning all promos made by network providers,cos its causing network ish.na dem know sha

Breaking news!!! Imams have declared the paying of tithes and offering in mosques

Pls what do the pastors use church offerings for?

This reminds me of oddysey.d giant wit one eye

Nokia 3310,space impact no need manual

I remember when bishop oyedepo too did his birthday,he was given 32 cars by church members,cn u imagine,this money they use 4 private jet,if it was used to build a company,the jobless youths in the church would have reduced o.SMH.God help us

soonpoint: Lol i stay in ilirin nd i no even hear....

na so o,me sef no hear anytin

I dey fight na na sef.fighting tins.wait make I continue

When you are texting,how do you reply to a constant one word answer,I just met this girl and was chatting with her,trying to know her more but all I get are answers like yes,no,ok,yeah and so on.pls ladies why do you do this and guy how do you handle situations like that

321586DF male 18

How will you feel if he proposed like this?.

BARCA ALL D WaY

That's why I just love tb joshua's ministry,he's so humble,there was this time a woman in the service said she is very poor and the landlord Is about sending her away,after tb joshua gave her money,he also said anybody who can help with cash should come out and give her money,come and see cash of diff countries,to cut the long story short,the woman went home with almost 750,000 in just a day.dats what we call christainity.help others

Person wey go die,even if hin dey sleep,death go wake am

Dis guys were just celebratin wit ther frnd who just graduated frm army.see dis pix and see

33, 614 candidates pass
NABTEB examination
A total of 33,614 candidates have passed
the National Business and Technical
Examination Board (NABTEB) examination
held in May/June across the country.
Olatunde Aworanti, the registrar and chief
executive of NABTEB, made this known
when he officially released the results on
Wednesday in Benin.
Aworanti said 143,755 candidates sat for
the examination this year as against
109,416 candidates in 2011, adding that
28,951 of the candidates were certified as
craftsmen.
He said the 33,614 candidates, representing
23.4 percent, had five credits including
English Language and Mathematics, while a
total of 59,100 candidates, representing
41.1 percent had five credits and above but
with only English or Mathematics.
The registrar said that the examination was
conducted in 1,750 schools as against
1,306 schools/ centres in 2011.
“As much as we appreciate the increase in
the enrolment of candidates, the recorded
figure of 143,755 is still much below
expectation in meeting the socio-economic
aspiration of this nation.
“For our nation to be first among equals in
technology development, vocational
activities at the early stage of education
should be seen as a strategy for catching
them young,” he said.
According to Aworanti, techno-
entrepreneurship syndrome should be a
national slogan in this era of knowledge
explosion.
“The quest for knowledge in technology
and entrepreneurshi p development is
meant to make both Nigerian adults and
children to be highly skilful and self reliant.”
To check ur result get ur scratch card and visit www.nabtebnigeria.org/e-world/

KingMEXX: Buh honestly, besides d penalty, i hardly saw Messi in dis match.

u know dey all wore d same jersey naw,mayb u dnt even recognize messi

Bros u no recognise messi!!

The Lagos State Police Command has
arrested Dare Oladujoye, a driver with Zenith
Bank, for allegedly being in possession of 19
Guaranty Trust Bank ATM cards and the sum
of N652, 000.
It was gathered from reliable
source that the suspect was using the cards
to withdraw money from an ATM at Ogba
branch of GTB when a security guard raised
the alarm.
The Commissioner of Police for the state
police command, Mr. Umar Manko, said as of
the time of his arrest, the suspect had
withdrawn N652, 000 from the ATM.
Manko said, “On July 26, 2012, around
8:30pm, there was a distress call that there
was commotion at GTB, Ogba branch. On
getting there, the suspect was seen with 19
ATM cards.
“He is an employee of Zenith Bank and we
wondered what he was doing with the 19
cards. He was arrested and as of the time of
his arrest, he had cashed N652, 000. The
matter is under investigation.”
The suspect however denied stealing the
ATM cards. He said whenever he lent people
money, he would collect their ATM cards as
collateral and return them after payment.
He said, “I usually loan people money and
I’ve been doing it for over a year. Whenever I
loan people money, I will collect their ATM
cards and their Personal Identification
Numbers. When they repay me, I return their
cards to them.

Only real Nigerians;
1)check d expiry date of gala
after eating it.
2) Go to church wit extension and
bb charger
(charging in his presence).
3) update on BBM
"about 2 cross", get hit by a car
and still update "dying tinz"
4) say an opening prayer @ a nite
club
5)go to an eatery and buy bottled
water just to watch a soccer
match.
6) go to shoprite,
buy a bottle of coke and spend
30mins. snapping wit champagne
bottles.
7) wear sun shades @ nite.
dress in complete rainbow
colours like its rag day and call it
colour blocking.
9) count money after
withdrawing from an ATM (we
trust no one, not even machines).
10) wear head warmers @ 45
degrees celsius.
11) call a fat hausa man "alhaji"
and a thin one "aboki".
12) travel 2 china 4 2days and
com back with a british accent.
Are U a real Nigerian
LWKMD!

bunmioguns: This yoke is toooooo old like d poster's brain

stewpeed brother,lol

izenco2005: Is dis joke or wat

see u asking a jamb question on nairaland

A lady tells her husband to go to d store to
buy cigarettes. He walks down to d store to
find it closed.So he goes into a nearby bar to
use d vending machine.
At d bar he sees a beautiful woman n starts
talking to her. They hv few beers n one thing
leads to another n they end up in her
apartment. Later, he wakes up n realizes its
3AM n says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's
going to get really angr...y. Have you got any
talcum powder?" She gives him some
powder. he rubs it on his hands n leaves.
At d door, angry wife "Where d hell hv u
been?" "Well, honey, I went to d store like you
asked, but they were closed. So I went to d
bar to use d vending machine. I saw this
great lukin girl there n we hd a few drinks n
one thing led to another n I ended up in bed
with her."
"Oh yeah? Lemme c ur hands!" She sees his
hands are covered with powder . "You God
darn liar! You were playing pool again!"
Moral of the story : Always tell ur wife the
truth. She won't believe u anyway

A man sees a strange funeral procession
going down the street. First one hearse, then
another, then a man walking a dog, and
finally a single-file line of about 50 men.
Curious the man goes over to the one who is
walking the dog and asks, "What's going on
here?"
The man with the dog sadly says, "My dog
attacked and killed my wife, that's her in the
first hearse." "Then my mother-in-law jumped
in to try and help and my dog attacked and
killed her too." "That's her in the second
hearse."
"Wow" says the man. After a few moments of
silence he says, "Can I borrow your dog?" The
man says, "Get in line."

mikuz: Na joke be this?

nah, yoke

A man went to visit his father -in- law to be,
and was chewing gum. The father-in-law to
be saw this young man and got furious. This
dialogue ensured
father-in-law: wat? U are in my house to ask
for my daughter's hand in marriage and you
are chewing gum? Dats a sign of disrespect.
Man: am sorry sir. I only chew gum wen i
drink and smoke.
Father-in-law: u min u drink and smoke? Oh
my God and u got the guts to come to my
house for my daughter?
Man: pls sir dnt b angry i drink and smoke
after clubing.
Father-in-law: as in u do club too?
Man: yes sir i started clubing after i left prison
father-in-law: lord have mercy. U bin to
prison?
Man: sorry sir i went to prison after serving
my Jail term.
Father-in-law: why were u sent jail?
Man: becos i got angry and killed a man who
wont allow me marry his daughter.
Father-in-law: realy? Chai my pikin u ar
welcme ooo. Yeeepa u for tuk since na sey na
ma pikin mke u cme. Inshort u ar in d
ritehouse. Dnt wori u don mari my pikin put
jara. My Inlaw inlaw.
Lwbmn

One day, Jerry - an
aeroplane cleaner was
cleaning the pilot's
cockpit when he saw a
book entitled, "How to
fly an aeroplane for
beginners, Vol. 1 ".
He opened the first
page which said, "To
start the engine, press
the red button". He did
so and the airplane
engine started.
He was pleased and
opened the next page,
"To set airplane moving
press blue botton". He
did so and the plane
started moving at an
amazing speed.
He wanted to fly, so he
opened the 3rd page
which said, "To let
airplane fly, please
press the green button".
He did so and the plane
started to fly.
He was so happy.
After 30 minutes of
flying, he was satisfied
and wanted to land so
he decided to flip to the
4th page.
The 4th page said, "To
learn how to land a
plane, please watch out
for Volume 2....
If na you Wetin u go do?