₦airaland Forum

( Ladies don't tel me u re available because i love my girl!!)

LMAOOOO

I don't even think any girl on NL is interested.

SENATOR JD:
LOl busta, u'd be surprised to receive another one at the gate by the security when u reach.

lol . .haha. . . only in Nigeria.
That country is lawless

sylvao2000:
Hope you are alright?

Not really, at work and I just wanna go home

[size=14pt]A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.



Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep
your mouth shut! [/size]

[size=14pt]A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.



Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there, [/size]

[size=14pt]An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.



Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. [/size]

[size=14pt]A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say. [/size]

[size=14pt]A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'



Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
[/size]

[size=14pt]A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
[/size]

[size=20pt]A. The first picture was taken when the chinese president went to USA

B. The second photo was taken when Bush went to China[/size]

They take woman do them?

michele101:
lol i know rite, hes gona be in alanta on june 14

Are u with some kanda promoting company

bobbyo:
can she be said to be your fiancee when at a point in time in your relationship u only talk about when u are finally married? and the idea of being together is just ok by both of u

me neither

sylvao2000:
@all,
l guess you understand my point.

@karikatalk
l got friends like you in school way back who claim to know everything but was push out of system because they got NOTHING IN THERE BRIAN. IDIOT.

pity . . cos that was the one u decided to write in CAPS!

bobbyo:
hey thats ok some dude just tried this for the first time with my i.d. now we should be talking bout my topic ok

which is?
which on them is ur topic?

How did the topic go from "is it possible" to "when is a girl your fiancee"

@poster,
hmmmmmmmm duh!!!

i guess they say its when u've proposed to her and she has agreed to ur proposal

savanaha:
I don't see why my husband should permit me to do what I want if am an adult. Further more if the ex was so amazing he would not have the status of an ex. Therefore my husband should have confidence in himself.

very well said,
but then . . .when u're married, exes need to remain in the past where they belong

yemivictor:
LOL!

Please don't get me wrong!!

I guess i should have stressed that the post was hypothetical!!!

The question is, if a guy you really liked was hitting on you would you tell your husband!?

No, I won't
what diff or help is it gonna be if i tell him? he'll go confront the guy??

Slap him back!!
and then run to ministry of Labour!

@poster,

Advice:
Tell her upfront that u're sorry u led her on, and that u have a girlfriend that u're serious with.

@Easybaby, summary abeg

There is always on white trash in every office . . .We have 2 of them here too.
Better not to go into their details. . .I just try to mind my own bizness sha.

The relationship is definately over.

Open ko, Open ni . . .so he can come and distribute all sorts of diseases to me?

@poster,

You'll never know . . .but, there's a strong possibility that u might be gay

Whether u wait now or later. . .u’ll still have to let it go one day.

We really have bunch of underaged kids on Nairaland.


Seun . . u need to start screening oh

@Topic,

Schedule a plastic surgery!

ur question is incomplete

9cent:
@ib,

i just can't stand the disgursting wrinkled skin of theirs, sweety

hmm. . be careful wat u say o . .
u're indirectly insulting God, after all, he created them
u will wake up tomoro now and turn into an Albino

whitelexi:
I'm fine oh, remember one birthday of mine that someone wanted to give me the gift of marriage by force?
And u were her ally I still read that thread sometimes oh

Anyways, free them, na their time. If they see u in real life, liver no go gree them talk to u sef This online world don give many people muscle

And meanwhile, help me to ask jenny wetin i do am oh

lol . . That really got me cracking up real bad.

No mind them . . let them keep hiding behind their computers and be running their yeye mouths.

as for Jenny . . she's only spreading the love as the topic states.

whitelexi:
Busta wetin dey happen now?

Everywhere i turn, i see busta.
Who are these peeps disturbing u, just give me their names and they will vanish mysteriously!

lol . . lexy, its all love o
I don't understand why those monkeys don't understand the simple word "NO"

na by force?

enways . . how u doing? sup?