I've been dating my girl friend for 1 year exactly last dec. asked her to marry me
she refused on the basis of wanting to make something  for herself. Her parents are rich, i'm well-to-do working in foremost oil company in naija still she isn't ready to marry me? we 've been dere and bak again no distance between us.
the only reservation i 've is that she attends cele dat i made her understand wont work
cos i cant worship in cele. I'm on the verge of calling it quits she still didn't get d drift!
Wat do i do? am 26 she's 24 ,i want to get settle down tired of being a bachelor
( Ladies dont tel me u re available cos i luv my gal!!)

It's quite easy, Akin, there is nothing you can do, to make her marry you, if she is not ready to get married.

Seems you both are operating on a different wave length. That I must say, will cause a lot of trouble if you eventually get your way.

If you genuinely love your girl and you are sure, she feels the same way about you, then you both need to sit down and talk about it. It's really not that serious. There just might be a reason why she does not want to get married now.

Communication is the most important thing. If you don't assume things and you talk it out with her, you just might learn something and then you can start planning from there.

All the best.

Side note to all guys, just because there are girls out there that their life goal is to get married, there are other girls out there, that don't see any rush in getting married. Make sure you find the one that share your dreams and goals. It sure will make life a lot easy for both parties.

Bhola thanks, but y is it that it's my own that doesnot want to get married
i go die oo!
i love her 'ambitiousness' but is driven me nuts men!
guyz shuld i jump ship?

Can you find out why she feels she won't be able to make something of herself when she is married? If you admire her career and ambition then you can try to make her trust you to continue to support her career after marriage. Perhaps she is scared that you would want her to give up work and stay at home having babies instead.

In a good marriage you become stronger and more able to achieve what you want. You just have to get that message across to her.

akindayor:

she refused on the basis of wanting to make something  for herself. she isn't ready to marry me? we I've been Deere and Baku again no distance between us.
the only reservation i I've is that she attends Cele that i made her understand wont work
because i can't worship in Cele. I'm on the verge of calling it quits she still didn't get d drift!
What do i do? am 26 she's 24 ,i want to get settle down tired of being a bachelor
( Ladies don't tel me u re available because i love my girl!!)

@topic i am sorry but i dent get your drift.If you are really interested in her,then y can't u accept the fact that she is Cele.Although i am a man .i have a problem with our  gender.y do we want to get our way at the detriment of our spouse?she is Cele and u dent want Cele.So far her excuse his i want to be my own person,i want to be something out of life.But that excuse is a long as the excuse of I will think about it'd .Akin if u want an answer ehnnnn forget all this religious imbroglio.If she really loves you, without being told she would switch her denomination.If she tells you that since you are Pentecostal and not catholic  she wont marry you .what would you do?My guy accept her for who she is.after all she is still in her mothers house.Over the years many Pole have changed from Muslim to Christian and vice versa all because of marriage.A stitch in time saves nine

Youve Said It All. Shes Cele. Shes Waiting for A Vision From Her Prophet.

I Pray The Prophet Doesnt Prphesy Doom.

"Cos I Tell U, Thats All They Ever Get To See. Doom Doom Doom. [b]Cele[/b]bration Of Doom

Pain:

Youve Said It All. Shes Cele. Shes Waiting for A Vision From Her Prophet.

I Pray The Prophet Doesnt Prphesy Doom.

"Cos I Tell U, Thats All They Ever Get To See. Doom Doom Doom. [b]Cele[/b]bration Of Doom

LMAO! na wa ooo!

Pain:

Youve Said It All. Shes Cele. Shes Waiting for A Vision From Her Prophet.

I Pray The Prophet Doesnt Prphesy Doom.

"Cos I Tell U, Thats All They Ever Get To See. Doom Doom Doom. [b]Cele[/b]bration Of Doom

i start by replying you 1st PAIN, fortunately d prophet prophesied good,did i hear u say lucky me?
yes she herself want to b a prophetess. i dnt see where that leads us to because i can't c misef in cele because been dere don that don't want to go into that details no but i strongly don't dig most things dey do, capiche?
i guess dt answers shevchenko partly as well !
coming frm my bakground i don't want my kids being exposed to religious brohaha like i was .being around men ,muslim frm birth mom being a christian (K&S) myself now gone pentecostal.
she knows i dnt want er to b a housewife never!!!!
i assist her with all ive got in her business ideas upto funding sometimes
she's just crazy about making it big in the UK i made her undastand if or when she leaves naija 4 d green pastures of UK she might come bak to see me married with kids that can call her aunty (am dead serious i've discuss this issues to death with her)
for once in my life i don't know what nxt to do ive palyed out all my tricks in my hat H-E-L-P!!!!!!!!

@akindayor

akindayor:


( Ladies don't tel me u re available because i love my girl!!)

oh mi gush you got me cracking my ribs here

hehehehe i have seen and heard many many things on NL what is going on with Nigeria?

Pain:

Youve Said It All. Shes Cele. Shes Waiting for A Vision From Her Prophet.

I Pray The Prophet Doesnt Prphesy Doom.

"Cos I Tell U, Thats All They Ever Get To See. Doom Doom Doom. [b]Cele[/b]bration Of Doom

the above is funny

DONT WASTE YOUR TIME.

1 YR is too early to try and marry somebody anyways.  But having said that she should still display positive signs she is moving in your direction.

you can't force anybody to love you, its an act of the will to which they have a right.

So if i were you id give her a deadline, if she don't meet it - say bye bye.

The way she acts now, has loads of future implications,  the love between you is leaning too much on one side - ur side. 

Spend time apart.  1 week or whatever, or month.  then see if it will work.

Dont waste time ok, if she is slow now, she will be slow in your whole marriage, then you will always be the one to do the work. 

Use these experiences as useful pointers.

OgaMadam:

DONT WASTE YOUR TIME.

1 YR is too early to try and marry somebody anyways. But having said that she should still display positive signs she is moving in your direction.

you can't force anybody to love you, its an act of the will to which they have a right.

So if i were you id give her a deadline, if she don't meet it - say bye bye.

The way she acts now, has loads of future implications, the love between you is leaning too much on one side - your side.

Spend time apart. 1 week or whatever, or month. then see if it will work.

Dont waste time ok, if she is slow now, she will be slow in your whole marriage, then you will always be the one to do the work.

Use these experiences as useful pointers.

1 yr too early? i beg to dis agree
as per her being slow mayb but i stil dnt wanna rush her 2 much and we dont see evry day coz of my wok and her own committments
d ultimatum thing is scary coz once i hand it in deres no goin bak it my way frm den on or no way i can be dat resolute.

Akindayor,

If i had a boyfriend who was working in an oil rich company! Wats the deal-eo!

All im saying is that human beings are funny especially when it comes to love. I can understand that yes, she needs to find herself and stuff, but why cant she find herself if she is married to you?

I'd let you pay all the bills while i stayed home and carried out my business ventures - but still love and respect you.

All im saying is, YOU are the best person to decide. With the info you gave us, we can only give you so much advice. You gotta be honest with yourself. On a daily basis is she showing signs of affection etc etc.

I have a feeling that if the only problem in your relationship was that 1 yr marriage issue you wouldnt be on this forum.

Now listen to what i told you earlier, to me, you seem to be putting in far much effort than she is, thats just the impression i get.

You need to test her love for you, if you gonna spend 70 years together.

Its from love i talk. I dont like people wasting each others times in relationships when they could be much farther in life.

If anything, think about yourself, and find somebody who can reciprocate at least 50% of that love.

Do this:

1. Go to bed alone
2. Switch off the lights
3. You are now safe to think properly without any body "over hearing you"
4. Calm yourself down
5. Ask yourself (Be crudely honest)

1. Do I love her (I bet u do anyways)
2. Has she always returned my gestures of love even halfway (be it a smile, flowers, money)
3. Does she seek extra time in her schedule to spend it with me.
4. Would she give me the last of her anything, i.e. calling credit, time,
5. Does she talk about our future.

Ask yourself, dont hate.

Compromise, you gotta give up something for Love, if you both want to go to different church, then do it if it would work, but i highly doubt it would.

i agree with her on the part where she wants to make something of herself that way she doesn't have to depend on her parents or become a liability to you. but if you love her then Compromise

i agree with ogamadam

@ poster if she doesnt agree nd u think religious issues are goin to be an issue den it might be worth leaving it.

its obvious dat d love is one sided coming from u becos a gil dat really loved u wud jump d minute u ask her to marry u,
i dated dis guy nd wen he asked me to marry him nd becos i knew i didnt love him enuf to marry him, i came up with d longest list of excuses ( [sinclusive of some from d list ur g.friend has][/s] and even wen he convinced me to marry him later after about 8 months i broke off d engagement, but if i meet someone else i like i wudnt even have a reason nt to marry him,

u weight all the options nd if 90 - 10% love it might be best to let things be becos trust me u will regret it in d end if u force her to marry u

dude i hate to break it to you but i think shemight have you as one of her options,im not saying the girl is promiscuous o but maybe her parents or one of them has a problem with you and so she is not sure of the whole thing,any 24 yrs old girl who is stalling with marriage in naija has something up her sleeve,ill advice you to give her an ultimatum and if she s still stalling then move on, i v seen it happen to a guys before and its real some girls and parents will look at your family background before hooking up with their daughter

( Ladies don't tel me u re available because i love my girl!!)

LMAOOOO

I don't even think any girl on NL is interested.

maybe she wan mry grl like her typ

You are just 26 and you are tired of being a bachelor. very funny

do you know that marriage is a life time? if you are already tired of being a bachelor at 26 that means by the time you have spent the next 30 yrs in marriage, you, not only get tired but you will run mad and commit suicide. you think say mariage easy.

all am saying is that you dont get married because you are tired of being a bachelor, you get married because you are psychologically, physically and all round ready. you dont sound ready to me from the way you talk.

Marriage is ' Find a woman you hate and give her your mud hut and cattle'