₦airaland Forum

There are plenty of good guys out there. Women just don't appreciate them when they come around. When they're done rubbing his nose in dirt and treating him like an effeminate piece of shit, they leave. That alone is enough to make him go bad.
And then there are those women who do have good guys in their lives, but since they're not ready for what the good guy has to offer, they take him for granted and do things to push him away. Then there are those women who make the excuse that a "good guy" is not "bad enouh" . They are confused souls. It's either you want a goodie or a baddie. make up your mind.

ezinne1212:
To be honest C2H50H, i'm the kind of person that will say what i need to say and that's it. Don't expect to give me a sermon and after listening to it, wait for me to say thank you sir, you are not my Father, he's the only one entitled to that respect. If i have an opinion, i will voice it, and if you don't have the sense to reciprocate the patience i showed while listening to you, then u'll get an earfull. Other than that, i don't have to say anything to you, thats why we are Adults. I'd like to think i'm trustworthy but i am stubborn. Howeva, with all these flaws, once i realize i want out, they neva leave me in peace. That's what gets me sooo angry. I once complained to a guy friend and he claimed it was because they saw the softness under the anger and they felt persistence would wear it thin and i'd let them into my life again. That just doubled my anger, i show the soft side of me cause it's easy that way, you want to be able to care for someone openly and not have them use it as an excuse to trample on you. So all said and done, i took the trampling, dusting myself off, and told them being soft doesn't equate to being a slowpoke.
Who is "them"?  Are we talking about two particular people here or are we speaking in general?

Lol you sound like a ticking time bomb that is about to explode.  Try to relax a bit.  Calm down.  Don't allow your frustrations to get the best of you.

Maybe your approach to problem-handling is the root cause of the compatibility issues that develop in the relationships you have been in.  Don't expect someone to just come into your life and fit perfectly right away.   From what you have posted, it sounds like the men you date are trying to "ride" you.   Stop going after men like these, they are bad news.  I also think your post sounds very "me" oriented.  It is important for you and whomever you enter into a relationship with to see a duality and to recognize that some sacrifices are necessary - sometimes huge sacrifices - to make a relationship proceed in the right direction.  It could be that you being too standoffish pollutes your relationships.  By that I mean that you seem to allow your pride to get in the way a lot; I think it's because you're stubborn.  Guys might find it uncomfortable and see it as a turn off.  They could be intimidated by you because you refuse to set some of that pride aside.  If you keep clutching onto that "my way or the high way" mentality, most of your relationships will be doomed. I would personally tell you to get off your high horse every once in a while to eat some of that humble pie.  Treat people the way you want to be treated.  Giving someone an earful because he fails to listens to you is a tad bit on the immature side to me; he is not your child.  You wouldn't want the same done to you.  By earful, I hope insults are not a part of that ritual.  Most guys hate being insulted and nagged to death.  You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who isn't willing to listen to what you have to say, anyway.  When you voice your opinion about whatever is on your mind, try to keep in mind that words can be dangerously sharp prongs poking at the skin.  It's important to be mindful of what you say, to avoid hurting the feelings of your significant other in the process.  You must also know that there is a time and place for everything.  Your partner may not always be ready to talk at a particular time.  Study his moods and learn to pick your spots.  Have some patience.  If he has earned your respect let him have it.  You need to lighten up a bit.  Start seeing him as a lover instead of an intruder invading your life.  I'm not asking you to be dense or a pushover or something, but show some submission out of reverence for God.  

So C2H50H if you can tell me how best to get across to them that  1. we are never going to be friends 2. that the things said will always stand between us and that 3. calling me and txting me to ask how am doing is not showing you care in my books, but simply insisting that my feelings don't matter, i would gladly implement  that method, cause right now i'm moving forward and keeping silent.

I don't have a magic pill that is going to solve your problems.  You need to make a lot of changes within yourself as well.  Mix up the caliber of men you date (sounds like you already do that anyway).
If they do call/text to ask how you are doing, it might be because they care about you.  If you aren't ready to let your lover break up some of those defensive walls you have built inside of you, I think love would have a hard time thriving in your life.

Unlike what someone suggested earlier, don't sit around like a lazy skunk expecting love to come knocking at your door.  If everyone sits around waiting for love to find them, how much love would be there for the taking?  Y ou also can't go around looking for something if you have no idea what you're looking for.  Do some soul searching first.  Keep having your fun.  Love will be there when you least expect it.

Maybe I can add more depth to my response when I'm fully awake.

Goodluck.

49cents:
i had a classmate(guy) who behaved like a girl and was in their company not for sex but just that he finds the company of girls more interesting, thus some atractions are innate, just like the natural temperments we are born with.

why can't he get with a girl who behaves like a guy?

Do you have nasty habits that turn them off?
Attitude problems? Are you a loud mouth?
Are you trustworthy? Stubborn?

Dating someone that has nothing to offer.  What a waste.  I wouldn't date anyone that doesn't have anything to offer me.

It's not unusual for women to become insanely attached to the first man they knock boots with.  I hear it's actually very common.
I'm sure you already know that not all relationships are meant to last forever.  If the decision to sleep with your boyfriend felt right at the time you slept with him, then try not to dwell too much on that decision. No one said you have to forget who you lost your virginity to.  Losing your virginity to the man you love.  It is a beautiful gift to give and you have every right to enjoy that once in a life time experience (nevermind reconstructive surgery  ).  You do still have control over your own body. It was your decision at the time to have sex with him.  If you reminisce too much on it  with regret after you are broken up, it might tilt the power in his favor.   It could give him an emotional hold on you.  That emotional attachment would make it harder for you to let go of him so that you can move forward with your life.  We know break ups can hurt really bad when the person involved is someone you care a lot about. Remember I told you earlier that you aren't the first to have this happen to you and you won't be the last.

Maybe you are feeling inadequate because you are now no longer a virgin.  I should let you know that God loves you.  say amen! You ain't any less of a human being just cos you're not a virgin anymore. Be proud that you gave a piece of your self away to someone you must have loved a lot.

You are a beautiful woman.  Time is a great healer. Another man is on his way to sweep you off your feet.  Believe in yourself.

Try turning off your caps next time. I think it would make your post more attractive to the eyes.

yicob:
Guy dont b a shitniz, my post was not directed at you. @ topic, its not an easy thing to forget most especially if the guy still come in contact with you. The best thing to do is to forget and avoid thinking of the escapede. . ., involve your mind in new love affairs. . . . . .and make the best out of your new quest.

Thank you. Now that wasn't so hard was it?

shut up yicob. if you have nothing to add get to steppin' .

fixed it for you.

why not?

FL Gators:
Love gone sour.

A mixture of acid and base

iya gboin how now 
why's everyone asleep so early today.

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=280530.msg3984987#msg3984987 date=1244256521]end of discussion.

arguing with you or davidylan is like conversing with the thin air.
remind me again where I tried to argue about monogamous marriage versus polygamous marriage?[/quote]i didn't say you did.  all i said was, what 1 man decides to do with 4 consenting women is none of your business.  no be so 

i would prefer to slam my head against a brick wall than to argue with you.

many before you have done it.  many after you will do it.

it is very possible. 

[quote author=na2day? link=topic=279591.msg3984982#msg3984982 date=1244256406]e bi like say u no am [/quote]that boy is mad.

obailala:
Just like every other birth defect (Hermaphrodites, imbeciles etc), I believe know it is possiible to have a male child with excess female hormones. The boy would exxhibit lots of feminine characteristics from childhood. Instead of hanging out with the guys, he would prefer being with the girls. This is the stage where something has to be done in the form of counseling etc, else the boy may grow up into a gay.

lol what?

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=280530.msg3984932#msg3984932 date=1244255528]I am against polygamy because I don't think the United States needs it. If, however, I find a convincing argument for polygamy, I can change my mind.[/quote]"you think" "you think" "you think" will not get us anywhere. no wonder you couldn't say what's on your mind. we argue with facts here. we could care less about your thoughts.
the united states doesn't need polygamy but it needs homosexuality

for the love of the Heavens i'm done here until you guys make some sense.

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=280530.msg3984920#msg3984920 date=1244255288]alcohol is a weirdo that's all you need to know.[/quote]one question:

are you ignorant or do you choose to be stupid. if you are actually trying to make a point then make your point. stop beating around the bush.
you can both choose to attack the person or put your time to good use by making some valid points

[quote author=udeycraze? link=topic=280530.msg3984916#msg3984916 date=1244255176]ure a lost cause---- what am i even doing here??--- people i think we should leave C2h to keep ranting, its not getting us anywhere![/quote]you are a disgrace to logic, why should i even bother what a waste

put your brain to good use or go to sleep

acidrop:
are u guys supporting the notion of polygamy or opposing it? and who is who

that is what i am trying to find out myself, and so far udeycraze is barking down my neck like a german shepherd, and oyinda is afraid to say whether she is for or against it.

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=280530.msg3984897#msg3984897 date=1244254880]I already answered this question.  

two men getting married is a monogamous marriage that should only be compared to one man and one woman.

one man and two women is a polygamous marriage that should only be compared to one man and two men.

do u understand logic at all? read my previous post again[/quote]your arguments are not only circular, they also lack substance.  i know the definition of a monogamous marriage and i know the definition of a polygamous marriage.
you are making empty statements.  your point is MOOT by all possible accounts.
this thread is about men having multiple wives.
is something wrong with that, if so,   WHY
if you're trying to argue that marriage should only be a monogamous arrangement and you can't convince me with reasons, i will not agree with you. . . perioD!

for one, sorry to say, you sound desperate for "IT". if you dont' find a way to control your urges you might end up cheating on him.
you DO have a high sex drive. maybe he doesn't. talk to him about it, see if you can reach a compromise.

acidrop:
DO U SERIOUSLY NOT C ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE




well neither should be legalized, all sin in the eyes of God

thank you hun. that's how i see it too. all or nothing.

[quote author=udeycraze? link=topic=280530.msg3984879#msg3984879 date=1244254570]because its just not worth it---- read between the lines humpty!!---
ok now tell me, so if we say its ok for u top have numerous wives?? and u eventually do. who cares??
i mean Yar'adua wont cease to be president!
get a life man, read a book![/quote]do you have a few loose screws in your head?  ffs what is the matter with you    start providing answers if you disagree with what i have written.

if you agree with me that men should be allowed to have multiple wives, sit at my right hand side and enjoy the show.

i refuse to understand why you feel the need to provide me with the definition of polygamy.  i could care less about that.

i want to know why you think 3 consenting adults who want to get maried should not be allowed to do so.

how is it any of your business? does it hurt you in anyway?
if two men can get married, why not one man and two women?

[quote author=udeycraze? link=topic=279591.msg3984855#msg3984855 date=1244254067]Dude you are here again? Are u thinking about coming out?You seriously should----dang!I hate them gays[/quote]tsk tsk ninny

[quote author=udeycraze? link=topic=280530.msg3984846#msg3984846 date=1244253820]gosh ch239 or whatever u call ursef, why would i wanna suck my thumb? im not you!!----- is that what u "gay folk"(- i bet thats how u refer to y'all) is that what you gay folk do now??----- ewwwww grossss[/quote]what da hell ima do wit u?
i am growing tired of your cartoonish antics.

udeycraze and his comrades have failed to provide a debatable rejoinder to the written words.

are you serious right now omg like seriously Oh EM GEe

what happened to your dictionary

he's just not that into you

[quote author=udeycraze? link=topic=280530.msg3984837#msg3984837 date=1244253635]i have respect for ladies, not "lady folk"------ dude where u at?[/quote]SMH dude

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=280530.msg3984828#msg3984828 date=1244253494]I doubt you will be satisfied with how many numbers of answers you get so why not put the "question" to rest. lol[/quote]it's much like how you will never be satisfied with "how many numbers of answers" you get to the ban on gay marriage.  we can as well also put that to rest.

[quote author=udeycraze? link=topic=280530.msg3984826#msg3984826 date=1244253480]dude, its not like ure saying anything reasonable, ur point doesnt hold water. im not gracing my opposition to stupidity with a defense-------
start something new, its a bit down there[/quote]you are being a hypocrite. tell me why you disagree with what has been written. you wrote garbage about sleeping or drinking alcohol. what has that got to do with what's been said? go to bed or suck your thumb if you have nothing better to contribute.